Sneakers are not a good thing

I can hardly believe it. They bought me sneakers. Not even cool sports ones, but shiny pink ones. They put them on me, then stuck a pink seersucker sundress on me to complete the humiliation, then laughed and laughed as I walked on my hands with my hind feet straight up in the air, trying to get those things off my feet. Reeeaaalll funny.

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