Running Away From Home

Invisible Fence

August 8th 2007 6:59 am
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There is something new in our yard.. It is called an “invisible fence.” It is HORRID! Mommy kept talking about it as though it were a fun thing, but it is not. I have had plenty of experience with visible fences , so I thought an invisible one might be even easier to breach. Not so. The visible fence is easy to get over, under, through or around. Just ask Diggy. At our old yard all we had to do was get a running start from the back door, leap onto the stack of bricks next to the fence, hop onto the compost bin and viola! We could sail effortlessly over the fence. Diggy figured that one out. I found another way that was even easier. I would squeeze through the gap where the gate post joined the back fence. Sometimes I would just use my opposable thumbs, which I keep hidden from humans, to open the gate. It was such a cinch to get out!

The “invisible” fence, however is not the same. You can’t see it or touch it. It makes a high-pitched beeping sound. This sound is so awful it paralyzes me. I can’t even move. Mommy calls me to her and gives me a treat when it beeps, however. Treats are nice, but that infernal beeping is not worth it. The worst part is that if you go the wrong way the fence makes you tingle. I tingled once. I couldn’t move. Mommy picked me up and brought me back into the middle of the yard. Diggy doesn’t mind the tingling so much and Mommy positively loves it! She put the collar on her foot and said that the tingling was like a foot massage. Mommy is weird. Daddy gives her foot massages every night, I don’t see why we need an invisible fence so she can get a foot massage.

I really just want to be able to run around the neighborhood. But we can’t. It’s the bane of every dog’s existence these days. Mommy is afraid that the neighbors she doesn’t like will hurt us. She is also afraid we will get hit by a car or bicycle. I really don’t like bicycles. Sometimes Mommy and Daddy ride bicycles and that frightens me. I think that bicycles should be inside the invisible fence, not dogs.

Well, I am reading To Kill A Mockingbird this week. Mommy got a first edition of the book so we have to be very careful not to drool on the pages or wrinkle them. We are not allowed to dog-ear the pages either. Dog-ear, what a stupid phrase. I prefer bookmarks anyway. We have some really nice bookmarks. I guess I’ll get back to my book or maybe take a snooze. It is a rainy, gloomy day today.

 
 

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