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Merlin's very own diary.

I miss you so much Merlin

December 28th 2013 2:05 am
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Good morning my sweet and wonderful and handsome gentle giant.

Two years ago today I couldn't help crying, I was devastated that you weren't coming home, I felt my whole world had collapsed, there was a huge whole in my heart. Although the pain has eased slightly, I still feel the loss of you overwhelming at times. I cannot and will never forget how you pulled me out of my deep depression, you pulled me from a darkness I had never known before simply by being with me, sitting with me or laying your beautiful head on my lad and looking at me. When you left me I could feel myself slipping down into that deep abyss again, then you mum said to me, “Don't undo the work that Merlin did for you.” I began to pull myself together but there was still a terrible ache in my heart, I would sit on the edge of my bed and simply cry, and no I am not ashamed to admit it. Even though two years have passed I have never got over your crossing the bridge, sometimes I would sit and smile when I remembered the antics you would pull, then other times a huge sadness would sweep over me. I hope you knew how much I loved you and still do. Without a doubt you were the best friend I ever had, or ever will have. Yes I am sad today Merlin, very sad, I just miss you so much. When I get there Merlin, please come running, I want to hold your beautiful head in my hands again and tell you that I love you.

Today is nice and cool today, it has been raining all night, it would make one of your favourite run and play days. I loved watching you run and play with Spud, you were the perfect boy in every way, there will never be another Merlin in my life.

Please remember to save a place for me, I love you so much Merlin, I cannot wait to be with you again.

Your ever loving Daddy


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