My New Pooping Grounds

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Toodle-oo!

Post Christmas Update

Merry post Christmas, my awesome pup pals! I hope everyone's day was paw-tastic!

Moi? My joyous holiday spirit quickly dissipated yesterday when Spenser destroyed the new stuffed toy Izzy and I received for Christmas. He made mince meat out of it in no time flat. It was blue and soft and squeaky. Izzy and I had just been playing tug-of-war with it not an hour before. I would love to be able to exact revenge by shredding his new bone to bits, but since that's impossible, I will continue my verbal lashings every time he comes near me or Mom. Watching him flinch when I lunge at him with my teeth bared gives me great pleasure. *insert diabolical barks here*

The humans bought themselves a stupid video game called Guitar Hero III. Instead of cuddling with me, Mom straps a guitar around her chest every night for hours. What's up with that? It's a cold piece of plastic and it's annoyingly loud. But like a good dog, I keep her spot on the couch warm until she eventually puts the noisy game away.

Izzy has begun sleeping with Mom and me at night. My space is right beside Mom's pillow, so when she tried to venture into my territory, I would emit a low warning growl. She eventually got the message and now has her own spot next to Mom's leg. I think I can live with that. Izzy is pretty cool and she's kinda cute with that tongue hanging out all the time. It's the two big goons that get on my last nerve.

Well, I hope to update my diary more often in the coming year. I miss it here.

I WON!

After months of waiting, it has finally been confirmed that I won a contest to be featured at the end of the Firehouse Dog movie! That's right; my handsome mug will be shown during the closing credits. My big break has finally arrived - woof woof! To think I was worried that Leo's sauciness would win them over, or that Spenser and Chance would sway them with their thick, red coats. I should have had more faith in my cuteness. Look at me now - Hollywood bound! I must get into shape quick in case Speilberg or Oprah come calling!

HO HO HO! Hum

Hey everybody! It's been a while. Let's see...I'm still waiting for the walking regimen to happen. When the humans start a new year I might have a chance then for a firm, slim bod. Mom says we are just too busy to entertain such ideas at the moment, but starting in 2007, we will work our buns off.

Tonight, mom and dad are having guests over, which means that we will be treated like second class citizens. The guests are not "dog people" whatever that means! Mom will be extra nice to us afterwards and give me more treats than anyone else I bet. Well, a pooch can dream, can't he?

On Christmas Eve we will have mom's kids over. Leo and Callie will be there too! That will make 5 dogs and 6 people. Quite a zoo when we're all together. The great thing about them is that they ALL love dogs - especially us. We get lots of attention and treats. Last party had a few of us canines licking the insides of the wine glasses. Now that was a par-TAY!

Merry Christmas everyone. I love all my pup pals and wish them the best Christmas and New Year!

Plugging Along

Mom has come up with a new nickname for me and dare I say it is not very flattering. In fact, I may require therapy soon to deal with the emotional scars. She calls me Rump Roast. Actually, she says, “Come here my little rump roast with legs.” She tries to disguise her insult in that sing-song voice, but she’s not fooling me. T-Bone is a more masculine reference, which I would be more than happy to respond to. But, rump roast? I have decided that I will not respond to that unless she is referring to a large piece of meat cooking on the stove and is about to give me a big juicy taste.

“Exercise” is another word that keeps cropping up in conversation lately. She calls us both pudgy and claims that a good walk around the neighborhood every day will cure our stoutness. So far, all we’ve done is discuss the matter for several days. I am patiently waiting for her to actually open up the cabinet door which houses my leash. If I knew how to open that door, I would take the leash out and bring it to her myself because it appears that we’re going to be in the talking stages for a good while.

Backyard Invasion

I’ve discovered rabbits! A baby bunny rabbit to be precise. The best part is when you put one in your mouth, it squeals. The worst part is when mom runs towards me yelling at the top of her lungs. Only when I knew she was absolutely serious did I let go; however as soon as bunny hit the ground, Chance got it and he would not let go as quickly. Mom kept after him and he finally opened his mouth only to let Spenser get it! Well, Spenser is such a scaredy-cat; he immediately dropped it on the ground after mom yelled at him.

Mom looked like a maniac in the yard. It was quite comical watching her go round and round trying to save the little creature. Thankfully, bunny was only startled. The tiny critter sustained no injuries during the melee. Mom scooped it up into a plastic container and brought it to our dogless neighbor’s yard a few houses down.

Our backyard has never been so exciting! I can’t wait to go out now, even in this brutal Texas heat. In addition to my job guarding Izzy, I now have the added responsibility of keeping our turf free from invaders. Being the alpha dog is exhausting work, I gotta say!

A New Contraption

Mom is always bringing home something to complicate my life. This time, she came home with a miniature staircase. Confused? I was too at first, but soon enough her hideous intentions were revealed. Keep reading.

Assembly was required which caused mom’s voice to become irritated and use naughty words. Already, I hated this new thing. Nope, I didn’t want anything to do with an object that put mom in a bad mood. Once she was done, she placed it next to the bed and announced that it was for me. Huh? Little did she know that I had already decided to boycott this piece of............work.

Later that night she crawled into bed and waited for me. I looked at her, then looked at those stairs that she positioned next to the bed. She really expected me to climb that rickety thing to get to her. No thanks; I’ll think of some other way to get in. She coaxed and coaxed, patting the steps with her hand. “C’mon Sparky! Don’t look so sad. This will help you get into bed easier.” Well, what happened to her picking me up and placing me in the bed? That’s what I’d like to know. #@*!?&#!.

Before I knew it, she switched off the light. Oh, the cruelty, the injustice. Once my eyes adjusted, I did what any proud dog would do; I lunged at the bed over and over and over. Finally, mom got tired of hearing me thud against the side of the mattress and picked me up. Ah, sweet relief at last.

I hope I have made my point and will not be forced to go through that exercise again! I love my humans and all, but this is ridiculous!

Little Pink Presents

Today mom said she had to run an errand. Apparently she went shopping because she returned with several bags. Inside were 2 pink doggie beds and pink doggie toys. When she set the beds down to show daddy, I immediately jumped into the softest one and snuggled in. They laughed at me and said, "Sparky, you're too big for that bed and besides it's pink!" Why do I care what color it is?! So, I guess if it's pink, that means it's for Izzy. Yuck! Girls are icky! At least I rubbed my scent all over the new bed so she will be forced to think of me every time she gets in it. And my body fit perfectly in the space no matter what anyone says.

On to more serious matters. Izzy had to go to the doctor yesterday for an upper respiratory problem and something called Puppy Pyoderma, which is a mild skin infection. She had x-rays taken, as well as a thermometer shoved up her tiny bum. Mom said she screamed. Wish I could have been there for that. Hee hee. Izzy is on antibiotics and benedryl for 10 days. Next Saturday she may finally get her vaccines started. Oh, I hope mom will let me be there for that! I so deserve some gloat time.

Mom still calls me her baby and treats me the same as before; however, I no longer have exclusive time with her. I must share with the poopy girl puppy. I mean that literally by the way. She knows to use the newspaper for tee-tee, but she poops anywhere she feels like it. When mom and dad find her little presents, they only say, "Oh Izzy, your poop is smaller than a tootsie roll!" If I poop in the house I get reprimanded. I'm really surprised her poop is not pink.

My life at the moment is so unfair, but I still love my peeps. In the end, we're all part of a tight-knit pack. My main duty is to advise everyone of their place within the pack. This job can be exhausting at times, but someone has to be in charge.

More Izzy Issues

As I suspected, the new creature is taking up most of mom and dad's time. In order to make them aware of my displeasure, I put on the most pathetic face I can muster. All my efforts at protecting IZZY seem to make not a whit of difference to them. She was even given the best privilege of all: being on mom and dad's bed. Spenser tried to jump up and sniff her, so I lunged at him, showing my teeth. He stayed away too, further solidifying my high rank in the pack.

I understand that a small *ahem* dog like Izzy needs more attention than the rest of us. Mom says when she gets bigger, she will not have to spend as much time with her. I hope that is the case because I am quite put out with the entire situation. I'm a patient fellow, but if things don't go back to normal soon, I may have to start acting out. Maybe a pair of shoes will suddenly be destroyed, or the edge of a rug chewed up. I'm sure I can come up with something.

In other news, it is now a new season of Rock Star. Mom is obsessed once again. I'll be so happy when this TV show is over. My ears hurt. Why do humans have to play music so loud? I guess they're just human beings, being human. So glad that I'm a dog.

Cheers all and have a great weekend!

Operation: Izzy

It's now Day 3 of Operation: Guard Izzy. Quietly, yet firmly, I stand by her doorway day and night. I am taking these duties seriously and do not tolerate anything from my subordinates, Spenser and Chance. Izzy is very frail, and it is imperative that she receive top-notch attention. There is nothing that slips past me. I even take my naps right beside her crate, but never fall into a deep slumber. During my waking hours, I sit patiently, waiting for any infractions from my beastly brothers. When mom and dad finally secure her at night, I am relieved of my tasks for the day so that I may rest up for a new day of grueling guard duty.

This is now my life. I have accepted the tiny creature into our home with as much grace as possible. She is quite beautiful and small. Mom says she is a pooch, but I'm still not convinced of her lineage. Perhaps when she gets bigger, I will be convinced that she is truly a canine. Regardless, I am quite smitten with her, I must admit.

Well, off to bed for me. I see that Dogster will be shutting down for maintenance soon, and I need to get this posted before that happens. Nighty-night all my furry friends.