December 7th 2010 8:19 pm
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Roxy was perfect for us. She was everything. For the past 11 years we were lucky to live and breath her. How blessed were we? Roxy was a one family dog. When we used to board Roxy, the boarding staff told me "after a while most dogs adjust but Roxy never does".... that was the last time I ever boarded her. She was OURS! Dedicated and devoted to her core. She could sense every emotion. She knew what we were feeling. She gave the sweetest kisses and went wherever we went. She loved swimming and traveling and being wrapped up in blankets. She was beautiful and she loved our "photo shoots". She never refused, she would stay still as a statue until I got THE shot. She loved her bandanas and sweaters. She would turn bright red when she was nervous or hot. I had to put sunblock on her. She loved our daughter Skye from the minute we brought her home and when we would leave, every single one of Roxy's toys would be in Skye's room along with a white fur spot at the foot of the crib. Roxy was the first to greet Skye every morning and the last to leave at nap time (I always had to coax her out). She loved the boat and we would call her "Boat Dog". She loved her toys. Her favorite was her "indestructable" Jollyball (which she mastered tearing apart) and her soft 9" ballie. The soft ballie was her "soothy", she would fall asleep with it in her mouth (she had it and didn't let it go even when we had to let her go. She literally never released it upon the closing of her eyes and her last breath) She is being cremated with it. She always greeted us with a toy. She used to sleep with us until she became a bed hog and decided the couch was better and less crowded. She loved car rides. She loved to play as much as she loved to just hang out. She loved whatever it was that we did as long as she was there. She was strong and in her weakest state she still shined for us. She got up each and every time to greet us with a wagging tail and happy eyes. She was a fighter and she beat the odds. She amazed us on a daily basis. She battled cancer and rallied for us. She lived for us. She stayed strong for us. Faithful, devoted, dedicated, missed and mourned by us........ Our pain is still so fresh and raw. We miss our baby girl.... Roxy Laroo... Once a Pooty, always a Pooty
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As I sat here reading of Roxy's last day the tears streamed down my face. I can feel the pain your heart is feeling and I know exactly what you're going through. Six months ago we had to let our precious baby girl Lexi go also do to cancer. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know my baby girl and your baby girl are now free from the nasty cancer and running happily on a beach. My heart will never be the same but time does help. I swore I would never get another fur baby because it hurt too much to let them go but I missed the companionship. I looked and looked at puppies online at rescue centers but not one grabbed my heart. I told my husband that Lexi would send the right baby to us and we would know. Sure enough,the 9th of last month a friend called and wanted to know if I still wanted a puppy. She sent me a picture and my heart melted. His mommy and daddy were getting ready to retire and are going to travel around on their motorcycle and didn't want to have to board Skeebo. They brought him to me(hubby was out of town) and he just jumped into my arms. He's not a puppy, but 4 yrs old and such a good little guy. My husband fell in love with him also. I introduced him to his big sissy and I swear they had a talk and she told him about the pantry having the treats and other things. There still isn't a day goes by that I don't miss Lexi and want her back but I'm also glad her pain stopped. She fought long and hard for 6 months. I cut some of her hair and I have a piece in my billfold and husband has one in his. I open the bag from time to time to just smell her. All her toys are put away and will stay that way. They were hers. There may come a time when she will let me know that Skeebo can play with one or two but til then they are sealed away. I still feel her around me and at times I see her. We had almost 11 wonderful yrs with her and for that, I'm so thankful. I'm sure Lexi was right there to meet Roxy as she came to the Bridge. Lexi isn't afraid of Pit Bulls as she has one for a sister so I know she ran to greet Roxy. Lexi also loved the beach so they will be great friends. Hold on to your memories and they will see you through. Roxy will still be around and there will be times you will feel her or perhaps even see her out of the corner of your eye. When the time is right, she will send another fur baby to you.
hugs and Prayers go out to you and your family.
Carrol, Lexi's mommy
I just noticed that Roxy and Lexi were the same age with Roxy being older by a month.
Back to the beach I go Baby girl. I can see you at our fence line looking at me when I get into the car. Following me with your eyes... longing to be with me always..... I put your dogtag on a necklace along with your charm. I miss you so much that it hurts....xoxo
My heart is breaking for the pain you're feeling.
I get what you mean by keeping a locket of hair "just to smell her". I find myself looking for her hair on my clothes and lying in her bed because it smells like her. I can't find the strength inside to move her things. I am not ready. My husband tried taking her bed downstairs and we brought it right back up because we found ourselves going downstairs to lay in it. It's amazing how much of our daily routine revolved around our Roxy. I grabbed her pills the other day around "pill time", Called her and I keep thinking she is lying in her bed.... it's so hard.
We still have Lexi's pillow on our bed and for months I would cuddle up to it and bury my face in it just to smell her and cry myself to sleep. Then one of our inside cats threw up on it and I had to wash it. I was so angry at Purdy even though it wasn't her fault she got sick. I did the same thing with pills and when I was cooking and would drop something I would call Lexi because she would always come clean it up. Although it's been 6 months, I can still find some of Lexi's hair on a jacket or blanket and I leave it. I had to put her toys up because it hurt too bad to see them sitting in her toy box. I washed them all up,even the ones that were starting to fall apart and put them in one of those giant zip lock backs they make for blankets and sealed them. They are put up and that's where they will remain. I still have a bag of her diapers also. Lexi had bladder cancer and about the last 3 months of her life I was having to put diapers on her when she was on the bed. She didn't mind at all as long as she got to be right beside me. The last necklace (collar) that she got, has all the rhinestones on it and when I feel ready I am going to sew it either on my BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) riding vest or a pair of my Levi's. Then my little Angel will always be riding with me. There are times at night I think I see her out of the corner of my eye on the bed or can feel her laying up against me really close like she use to and I would tell her she needed to scoot over just a bit and I've started to tell her that but then realize she's not there. But, I think she really is there, I just can't see her. We have a bob tail cat that use to get on the bed and would cuddle up and sleep but after Lexi passed, he won't sleep on the bed anymore. He will get up on the bed for maybe a few seconds then gets down. For days, maybe weeks, he would walk through the house looking for her and howling. It was breaking my heart even more. Once we found out that she had cancer, the plan had been to have her cremated. I had it all set up so I wouldn't have to deal with it at the end. Then husband decided he wanted to bury her out beside our 1st bob tail, Bob-O. I wasn't in any mind to argue so I gave in. But I did inform him the next day that, God forbid, but if something happened with his job and he had to go elsewhere to work that I would NOT go with him. He would just have to come home on weekends because I will never ever leave my baby girl here. Luckily he understands. Give it some time and you will feel Roxy around you or even feel her against you. They fly down from the bridge to check on us. And if you see a little white fluff ball with her, it's probably my Lexi. When I took some pictures of Lexi's grave, a friend of mine pointed out something in them. There was a white "orb". I hadn't noticed it. My friend is one of the lucky ones that can I guess talk with ones that have passed. I know it sounds crazy but she told me things about Lexi that there was no way she would have known. She told me the Orb was Lexi and that she wasn't upset that we did what we had to do, but that she was glad because her pain was over. I felt a lot of guilt thinking that if just maybe I would have waited another day she would have been better but the common sense part of me knew better.The cancer had spread from her bladder to her mammary glands. Anyways, my friend helped me out a lot with that guilt. Day by day, it will get easier.You will never forget Roxy and will always have the love for her in your heart and will miss her. But know you showed just how much you loved her by letting her go and being free from the cancer.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Roxy wore rhinestones too. She had a pink rhinestone collar and she looked so beautiful in it. On THAT horrible day we semi-dressed up. She wore her pink rhinestone collar with her pink jewel charm and I wore her "woof" rhinestone bone charm with the flower dangle on my necklace (I recently added her dogtag and wear that everyday). I just got Roxy's ashes back Friday. It was the same day her paw prints were washed away, the same day she got her wings.... timing says a lot. That night we took her for a walk on the beach (her in my arms) and when we entered the house a surge of warmth and comfort embraced us. I hugged her in my arms and kissed her. When I put her down on the table a single Roxy hair was right on top of the box. That blew my mind. She is so special. Right now she sits above us with her everyday collar and her rhinestone collar. I am ordering an Urn for her and having it engraved. Yesterday we received the Sympathy card from the dogtor and it said how obvious our love was for Roxy. My husband and I have strange feelings about the Cancer. When it was discover (Oct 8th) in the ultrasound it was devasting. Her liver was infested and she also had masses on her abdomin. This 'thing' was sucking the life out of our girl. We were talking the other day and I said "at least the cancer got burnt up" but the irony of it all is that is took our beloved Roxy with it. The last moments are so hard to erase and I hate thinking about it. She lived for us.....it was so hard to let her go... doubt, guilt and regret always finds its way into my head. I know I did what was right in my heart but I still feel the lump appearing in my throat when I think about the day. This was the HARDEST thing we have ever had to do. You mentioned a BACA vest. We too have motorcycles and we also ride in a stunt show (www.wallofdeathusa.com) That was where we got Roxy, on the road. One of her favorite places was under the floors as we were riding. We could see her through the tracks. She also made the HotBike magazine, she was wearing a patriotic bandana while standing on the stage. It gives me relief invisioning her playing and waiting with all the other Angels of the Rainbow Bridge....
I keep thinking if only I would have taken her to the new dr sooner just maybe we would still have her. The vet that was treating her, let our baby girl down. She never did a sonogram like Dr Thompson did. I never knew one could be done but she did. I trusted her and she let our little girl down. I thought long and hard and then wrote a letter to the bad vet and told her just how we felt. I made sure not to say anything that could be taken as a threat even though God knows I wanted to say a lot more than I did but it helped me a lot.For the longest time I kept thinking that maybe if we would have waited another day she would have felt better and she was just having a bad day but her Dr assured us that if it hadn't of been that day, it would have either that night or the next day. He stayed with us and cried as we let her go.Lexi loved getting to go with us when we would have a BACA Adoption. When she would go with us I rode cage. She just loved being wherever we were and she always made the little child we were adopting feel better. I don't have my own bike just yet but I keep thinking that maybe I will get one but I'm not real sure. I have Multiple Sclerosis and have some weakness on my right side so I'm kinda iffy about it. I think the single hair on the box was Roxy letting you know she enjoyed the walk and was saying hi and she loves you. I believe that just because they aren't here physically, they are still around us always. I checked out your website. That looks scary but so thrilling. I think our girls are out enjoying the beach and sunshine. We use to have a 42' carver and 2 jet ski's and Lexi loved going there spending the weekend or a week. Her and her little buddy, Harley would get on one of the beaches at the lake and just run back and forth like crazy. Then Lexi would have to walk just barely out into the water to go pee. That always made us laugh. Her buddy Harley, went to the bridge exactly 2 months before she did. So since Roxy liked the beach, that's why I'm sure her and Lexi are friends.
Earlier this week I saw my first Rainbow since you have been gone and it put a smile on my face because I feel like it was you saying "Hi Mommy". I called Daddy right away. It was as beautiful as you. We miss you so much baby girl. Daddy and I still find ourselves rushing home to you and quite often your name comes out of our mouths when we pull up to the house (almost everytime in fact). I still find your hair all over me and it makes me so happy. Your jollyball is where you left it in the front yard. I wish we could have you back for just a moment to hug and kiss you! We are leaving for Auntie's house Wednesday. You are coming with us of course. I know how much you loved being a "country girl" so Auntie said she would be honored if we scattered some of your ashes there. You loved the stream, the mud and the horse pasture. I will miss watching you open presents. I love you baby girl.... Once a Pooty, always a Pooty!