In My Life - by the Beatles

There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more

Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
In my life i love you more

I LOVE YOU SQUIRTY. Thank you for giving me the BEST 12 years of my life.

In Loving Memory

Squirt lost her battle with cancer on Sunday, July 12, 2009. She put up an incredible fight and lived 14 months when she was only expected to live 3-4 months after her surgery. She was my best friend and the love of my life. My life will never be the same.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I just can't stand it! I'm losing my best friend and there is nothing I can do about it! She means more to me than anything in this world! I love her and I don't know what I'm going to do without her! I scream and cry but it isn't changing anything. I'm dying inside and when she goes, so will the biggest part of me. She is my version of a child. She is the only child I will ever know. I taught her how to bark and go up and down the stairs. She loves to be brushed and have her hair in a top knot. Loves wearing her little Lands End coat and Coach collar. She litterally thought she was human until we brought Molly home.

She's been on my lap for the last 10 years. She's always told me when it was time to eat, sleep, play. She would bark every time my husband and I would hug if we didn't pick her up and include her in it. There isn't a day in the last 10 years of my life that I didn't sing songs about her. Every song on the radio was changed to include Squirty. She's on my lap as I type this - it's always been the two of us. It's just you and me Squirty, just you and me.

I love you Squirty, you are the baby dog
and you're so purty, the Mama's little hog
the Momma loves you Squirty, Momma love you...(Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You)

Baby Dog, Baby Dog, Baby Dog
The Mama loves the baby dog
The Mama loves her girl
the Mama loves the baby dog
the sweetest girl in all the world...(Queen - Bicycle Race)

You're probably reading this and wondering why this crazy lady is babbling on like an idiot. I'm trying to feel better. I don't know what else to do. I haven't stopped crying since I heard the news and I don't expect to stop crying for a very long time. She is my life.

Friday, May 30, 2008

12:00pm
The Dr. called the house and left a message for me to call him regarding the results of her biopsy. When I returned his call 20 minutes later, he was already in surgery and would call me when he was through. Knowing that I was scared to hear the results, I left them my husbands cell phone number.

4:00 pm
The results I never wanted to hear: Hemangiosarcoma
Bottom line: My best friend, my fuzzbutt, my nubby butt, my beautiful baby dog is going to die and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I feel so helpless, sad, and lost.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

6:00am

PCV dropped to 27
Good appetite.
Alert

3:00pm
PCV 29
Squirty can come home!!!!! I LOVE YOU SQUIRTY :) YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!!!!

5:00PM
Squirty is back to her happy self!!!! I LOVE YOU SQUIRTY :)

Monday, May 26, 2008

11:30am

PCV 27
Temp. 100.7° - normal
Good appetite
PCV not stable enough to allow her to come home

5:15pm
PCV 30
Good appetite
Very alert
I took her outside to go potty and she peed for a long time and pooped 3 times which is a LOT for such a tiny girl.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

10:30am
PCV 25
Eating small amounts of food
She is very alert considering the surgery and pain pills.

8:00pm
PCV 23
Eating small amounts of food
Squirty looked up when they called her name

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Before surgery PCV went all they way up to 36. After surgery is dropped to 29 (which the Dr. expected).
Surgery went well. Dr. said that her organs are nice and pink.
Keeping her on antibiotics, pain pills and steroids.
Keeping her in the hospital for a few more days.
Her gums are not as pink as they would like to see but they are very happy with her progress.

Friday, May 23, 2008

PCV up to 29 - not great but it did go up
Temp. 99.8 - ok
Ultrasound shows tumor on her Spleen the size of a quarter/half dollar.
Surgery to remove her spleen is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and they will then send it for biopsy.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

5:30am
I carried Squirt to the kitchen for her breakfast since I didn't want her to jump off the bed or attempt the stairs. As I was leaving for work, I asked my husband to "keep an eye on her to see if she was feeling any better".

7:45am
My husband tells me that Squirt is feeling worse. He said that she didn't poop outside when he took her outside to go potty, but she pooped in the house as soon as he brought her back in. He then told me that she just layed down in the middle of the living room floor and wouldn't get up even when he offered her cheese.

8:00am
I immediately left work and while driving home I called the Vet to tell them that I am bringing her in.

8:30am
Dr. tells me that her gums are very pale and takes her temperature which reads 95°. She immediately wraps Squirt in a heated blanket and takes her to put her on IV fluids and to do some extensive blood testing and informs me that the results won't be in until tomorrow morning.

White Gums
Anemic - PCV (Pac Cell Volume) is 29. The norm is 38-55
Glucose level is high - possibly due to stress???
Her temp is 95°. Norm is 100° to 102°
Will check her blood count every 6 hours.

6:00 pm
More alert and looks like she is feeling better.
Temp. 97°