I am the King of Queens

My slaves spent all morning talking about something called "Eensquay," and I think that might be some kind of secret code for slaves. Just like "Aintray" and "Istersays." Anyway, they finally took me in the car and told me they are going to Queens. That got the tail wagging for sure. As soon as the car left the parkway, I knew I was back to my favorite borough of New York City. When people there see me they always say something dopy like "Aaawww, isn't he precious?" They don't know that I have super powers. Precious indeed. Anyway, it was a nice day so we spent lots of time in the yard in front of Young Slave's apartment. Then back to everyday life.

Yuji, dog of the Low Country

The slaves had been hinting for days that something major was about to happen. Then they brought up the dreaded suitcases from downstairs. This always means trouble. Then they woke me up in the middle of the night because they said they were going to someplace called Virginia. We drove and drove and drove for more than 50 dog hours. Then they finally checked us in to a motel room, and male slave was too tired to move. They took me to the store so they could buy things to make some mysterious potion called a "Martini."
The next day we drove and drove and drove to a place called Charleston. They took me for a nice walk and even found a big off-leash dog park. Then we got to eat at a nice restaurant called "Poogin's Porch." I was such a good boy that the people sitting next to us didn't even know I was there until the end.
The next morning they stopped for lunch at a town called Beaaufort, which had horse-drawn carts and lots of cool graveyards. Then we went to the place that female slave was really excited about - Savannah. They had a really nice room at a dog-friendly inn next to Forsyth Park. We at outdoors there, but it wasn't as nice as the place in Charleston.
After three nights there, it was starting to feel like home, and then they packed up again and had another long day of driving. They were back in Virginia again at a city called Williamsburg, which the slaves didn't much like because they couldn't find anything. Then we got to go on a big boat to Cape May. There we got to stay for two nights at the Highland House, which is famous for being dog friendly. I had to wait in the car while they ate at the Lobster House and didn't even save any food for me. Finally we drove home and I got to play with my sisters again and now life is back to normal.

Its 2011 and I'm feeling FINE!

They made me stay up and watch the televised idiots whoopin' it up in times square...at least it was only 40 degrees out so the tooorrists weren't freezin their patooties off but they still were boxed in like cattle for umpteen hours without access to a potty. dogs aren't that dumb-a warm bed, my chewie bone, and a whiff of champagne at midnight was my celebration of choice...auld acquaintences will never be forgotten by this lhasa mopso, so shoutout to my pals beannie, cocoa rose, ali b, and the others who haven't fogotten me...cheers!

The blizzard of 2010 and BTW i'm a diary pick!

My morning started with me not being able to get out the front door-SHE could open the backdoor slightly so we slipped out then out the back gate-SHE grabbed a shovel and removed the snow from the front door then she took me for my walk...in a winter wonderland! it gets less beautiful the more you shovel, though. Long Island is completely shut down, as is the rest of new york....hopefully HE will get a good picture of me channeling my tibetan ancestors...HE'd rather channel a nap with a nip. so i'm a diary pick too...i shall celebrate by getting plowed (snow plowed, that is)

NYC Christmas marathon

It was the yearly trek to see the Christmas windows...I met up with my cousin sorley (a cavalier cavalier) at the Bergdorf Goodman windows, pranced down 5th Ave with the usual tourists oohing and awwwing over me and taking my picture, to the rockefeller center tree, then to saks, lord and taylor and macy's...i felt bad for the windows because while i was there, noone looked at them! SHE stacked the deck by putting lots of ribbons in my hair, sheesh. THEY then drove to sammy's noodle shop in the village where they stuffed their faces as we snoozed in the car. I am one pooped pup-glad christmas comes but once a year...

What a year

SHE is writing an entry for me-and about time! Its been almost a year since her operation and she's absolutely fine now...so hopefully she will get on the stick and write about me me MMMEEE! hope everyone has a great holiday filled with overflowing trash cans, meaty bones, and indulgent slaves.

Strut Your Mutt

My male a female slaves woke me up at an indecent hour Sunday morning, but they told me we were going for a drive. The destination was what they call The City, and what I call "Place of many smells." We parked next to the river, and walked over. There were dogs everywhere! We met some people who knew my slaves - big guys with tattoos, but I could tell that they loved dogs anyway. We marched with them for an hour and then male slave insisted on getting a picture with me being held by somebody named "Big Ant." Come to think it, I think I saw this guy on the glass machine that they can't take their eyes off.

My theme song (to the tune of "Roger Ramjet" or "Yankee- Doodle."

Yuji Ballard and his sisters
Fighting for their bisquits
If you leave your foot exposed
He's surely going to lick it.

Yuji Ballard and his girls
Heroes of Ott Lane.
For their adventures go to YouTube
and type in their names.*

*
See
YouTube

Smile darn ya smile

Can't tell you what a great Sunday I had! (and now i'll begin to tell you about it, snort, snort). In the morning i went to a small dog park and ran around with bunches of chihuahuas-contrary to popular belief, they are not shaven squirrels, but are definitley DWA (dogs with attitude). Check out the picture on Flickr . After trying unsuccessfully to eat them, i came home and they got that dog bag out. That meant i was going on the TRAIN (fer joy fer joy). Here I am on YouTube , riding through Queens: Please note the look of disdain that I shot to the Male Slave. We went by subway to the upper west side where my cousin sorley lives. Sorley is a cavalier...now the only thing i have against cavaliers are, they are NEVER EVER depressed. Or morose, or any of those things that i frequently am, especially when SHE leaves. When THEY went out to dinner, and they left us alone in the apartment,i asked sorley why he was so derned happy all of the time. He said, and i quote, "cavaliers are just as mopey as all of the rest of the breeds, its just that at birth the great dog in the sky paints smiles on our faces." And now you know.....!

MY 10,000 LOOK

Finally, an answer to the age old question "can humans be trained?" I, an unassuming ex-pet shop dog, on the occasion of my 10,000th look, will attempt what no dog has tried before, rationalizing human behavior and turning it away from the dark side, into the light.
It all began, one dark and stormy night, or perhaps it was a beautiful sunny morning. There i was minding my business, doing my business, when i was purchased by a nice lady. Unfortunately, at some point she had many problems, and while i tried to correct her behavior (and she scared me a lot, which is why SHE cant yell without me wanting to run away), we found ourselves in the woods, living on garbage. She took ill and was taken away by ambulance. The cops who found me drove me to a vets office where i was taken in by laurie, the vet tech. In the months i spent with her i attempted training but her house was too chaotic with all those OTHER animals she was fostering, so she was much too distracted.
When SHE finally adopted me, i knew i had the perfect subject for my grand experiment.
i began slowly with simple, easy to understand commands, such as "feed" "cuddle"
"walkers" and "cookie." When SHE mastered them, i went on to such complicated concepts as "scratch me there, yeah a little to the left, ahh thats it." SHE performed like a champ. While THEY dont have the brain capacity of a canine, THEY certainly seem to understand what you're trying to convey to them, or it could just be instinct (?)
Anyway, my grand experiment will continue-i want to thank all of the pups out there who were so instrumental in getting to this glorious event, especially beannie, who, through his extremely large pack, has overwhelmingly influenced me in human training. And no post would be complete without a shout-out to my fiancee, crissie-she keeps me sane as i maneuver my way through this cwazy human world.