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Xiao Ping er er

October 7th 2007 10:32 am
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Today was a first for Ah ma- she defrosted the chicken in the microwave. Ah ma has never done this before you know. That’s coz my Ah ma, like all good housewives, is a very organized woman. She plans everything. So she has never met the situation where she would be staring at frozen meat in the face. But she didn’t count on me being so hungry today. Usually, I’d get meat for lunch and kibble for dinner. So there wasn’t any meat left at dinnertime. But I was so hungry that I sat at Fomfomfom’s feet while she ate instead of playing out at the garden. She took pity on me and went to ask Ah ma if there’s meat in the fridge. So Ah ma stopped watching the news and came down, only to find herself staring at frozen meat. But that didn’t unfaze my Ah ma- she put it in the microwave. And stood there waiting coz she was worried that the microwave might blow up. We all know that the microwave has a defrost function but that is beside the point. The point, let me reiterate, is Ah ma defrosting the chicken using the microwave for the first time. FOR ME. Kiss kiss Ah ma.

Cha asked me if I’ve got double eyelids. Pffft! What’s double, I told her I have triple eyelids. Double is for commoners. I also have the most beautiful eyelashes. And gorgeous eyes. It’s a pity though- all these years I have been trying to grow eyebrows but to no avail. My boyfriend at the corner of the street, he has lovely blond eyebrows that contrast so wonderfully with his black fur. I should get him to teach me how.


Every dog needs a home; every home needs a dog.

October 6th 2007 10:29 am
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Today we went to the condo to get Ah ma. So I took my walk there instead. It’s not a bad place but there aren’t many friends there, unlike at the gardens. We got back relatively early so I got to welcome passers-by at the garden too. So happy.

Later at night, Ah gong, Ah bee and I were out at the porch looking at the red red sky (which Ah bee still thinks is a sailor’s delight). Some clunker of a taxi pulled up outside the neighbour’s and was sputtering away. It totally disturbed the tranquility of the lovely autumn night. So I barked at it. It went away. Then it came back. So I barked at it again. It didn’t go away. So I barked and barked at it, until it went away. That showed him who’s boss around here.

Ah gong decided he wanted some wine so he told Ah bee to open a bottle for him. So Ah bee took out the corkscrew- Jan yiyi has a real crude name for this device but I shan’t repeat it here- and attempted to open it. She’s real lousy and the cork broke halfway. So Ah gong had to dump the entire bottle of wine. I hope she is ashamed, wasting good wine like that. At least the second bottle opened fine.

Oh there is this new shop near the gardens- Karma, Kettle and Rhapsody. I don’t see any kettles hanging in there and I don’t think they even know the meaning of rhapsody. So my powers of deduction tell me that this is a shop where they sell karma. It is about time someone start a shop like this. People, if you know that you are low on your accumulation, do visit the shop.



October 5th 2007 11:42 am
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I am so used to cleaning my ears every night I can’t seem to rest easy until it is done. And I can’t get anything done- I can't eat, wouldn’t go into my room, and was distracted all night. And it was with an apprehensive heart I finally settled down.

Ping ping pa pa.


Gong xi gong xi! Cha Cha Cha!

October 4th 2007 7:33 am
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Today is my Cha’s birthday. Gong xi gong xi, lao cha bor! That’s how I greeted her this morning. She likes it this way.

I forgot to mention that I touched Ah ma for a spot of $30 that day. My Ah ma is such an easy touch.

And I got the all clear at the vet's today. There was a Shih Tzu there who was just lounging on his mummy's tummy belly up; that's zen.

We spent a long time at the gardens today. We first ran into these 2 Caucasian girls. They came to ask Ah bee for permission if they could pat me. They were given the go-ahead and they started patting me and gibbering. How old is she? Is it a girl? What’s her name? What’s her full name? Does she bite? We have a puppy too; her name is Lulu. (How old are you?) Two! And I am five! What’s that you have in your hand? Can I give your doggie water? Can I hold your doggie? AWwwwwwww doggie! Your doggie kissed me! *giggles* Your doggie kissed her on her teeth! *giggles* CUDDLE!

They almost knocked Ah bee over when they decided to cuddle me. They also planted many many kisses on my head, body and ears. Even on my lips. I kissed them too. Ah bee and Fomfomfom were most amused. Me too.

We saw Sister Yakity Yak but I didn’t play with Magic and Diva. I barked at them though and Sister YY hollered something incomprehensible. They also laughed at me. Later we saw them five (Magic, Diva, Melmel, Chipchip and some random German Shepard) walking together. It’s a pity I am so scared of them otherwise we could have walked together.

Then we ran into this redheaded boy with his beagles. I was scared of them so I wanted Ah bee to carry me. She did but she squatted down so that I can be closer to the beagle. Then the beagle tried to sniff my backside so I wanted to get away from it. I tried to climb higher up Ah bee, to the top of her head. She didn’t realize I was that scared and when I wriggled up to her shoulder, I fell over and landed on my side on the grass. Then that boy, instead of holding his beagle, he let his beagle chase me and he was laughing hysterically away. Fomfomfom said she will kick him the next time she sees him.



October 3rd 2007 10:07 am
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And really, they must take us for idiots.


Ja Jang Myeong

October 2nd 2007 11:25 am
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Cha complained that I kept farting today. And she says that my farts are lethal. She doesn’t know what she is saying. My farts smell so good. When you’re as pretty as I am, even your farts smell good. Remember you heard it here first.

I have something to say about Fomfomfom’s tummy- it’s not big enough. She needs to find some way to develop the kind of tummy Ah ma has- big, round and most importantly soft. A flat tummy is no good for sleeping on.

Ah bee was telling Fomfomfom some sob story about the hamsters she used to have. They all died if you must know. Just like my fish- Fish, Phish, Xiao Hong and Xiao Lan. All of them. Frolicking in that big playground in the sky. Speaking of playgrounds, the children’s garden opened yesterday. I didn’t go in there but I’ve heard only good things about that place. I shall have to check it out soon.

Anyway, today at the gardens we bumped into Magic and Diva. They lunged at me but Sister YY screamed at them to sit down. Then she turned and said to me, “How Xiao Ping, which one you want?” *giggles* I am undecided so I didn’t tell her. Maybe next time. Hmmmm.. I think I want Magic. Diva is my rival in love. Just now Ah bee asked Melmel where his girlfriend is and he pointed to Diva. *grumbles* I thought I am his girlfriend. Then Sister YY said that us Doggies of the Gardens have most complicated relationships. Makes life more interesting don’t you think so?


My magic carton

October 1st 2007 10:36 am
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Happy Children’s Day! This is my 4th one and I had a most fabulous day. It started off with the mahjong gals. I love the mahjong gals. Even if they ignore me most of the time and disturb me when I am trying to get some eye-shut. But still, I love having people around. Then at the gardens we walked for almost an hour. It was real happy. We walked for an hour because they were trying to get me to poop. I did not indulge them. Cha, or was it Ah bee, started saying that I must have snuck off to Merrilyn’s room in the afternoon and ate my poopie after that. Fomfomfom started grumbling about how I used my poopie-stained tongue to kiss her all afternoon long. Hey, she was the one who told me to kiss kiss. And I still refuse to tell if I did eat my poopie. For me to know. And for her to not know. Lalala.

I had a happy meal for supper because it’s Children’s Day. Fomfomfom bought me a chicken sandwich, fries and milk. I had the milk. Out of the carton. It is a magic carton I will have you know. I kept drinking and drinking. And I didn’t even manage to finish half of it.

Magic does happen on Children’s Day.


Domestic goddess

September 30th 2007 12:42 pm
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I didn’t see Sister YY today but I did hear her. Fomfomfom likes to say that you can hear her even before you see her. There is some truth in that.

Just now Fomfomfom cooked herself Kim Chi noodle soup. She will teach Green Pot how to make that for Onion so that she can perform her wifely duties. Also now that Fomfomfom can cook one noodle dish and one soup dish, I think she is all set.

We just have to wait.


Grow, hair. Grow!

September 29th 2007 7:31 am
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I didn’t give up without a fight today. Fomfomfom and Ah bee chased me all around the dining room but they didn’t manage to catch me. Not even when I was on a leash. They were that lousy. Fomfomfom gave me her fist to chew on; she said that I don’t bite fists. Ah bee believed her and she gave me her fist to chew on. That was when I put 4 holes in her hands. I even managed to draw a little blood. I haven’t bitten them in a long time. I don’t want to; they made me. Pfffffffft!

I am writing this in the garden now. My Ah gong is here with me. That silly old man is trying to make them drink the honey he bought, the ginseng drink he makes, drink something that will apparently make their hair grow. Er, he's the bald one in this house. I am so glad I'm not part of this. I’m waiting for Fomfomfom who went to a BBQ. I told her to bring me satay and chicken wings. And chicken chop. And marshmallows. And sausages. And garlic bread. Yes, those weird people bbq garlic bread. Yikes. Okay maybe I'll skip the garlic bread.


My Stworbearwee World

September 28th 2007 10:04 am
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I am most sick of cleaning my ears twice a day. So today I decided I don’t want to clean them anymore. So I stayed downstairs all morning and they couldn’t catch me for hours. I was most pleased. Then Ah bee woke up and she scooped me up within 2 minutes of coming down. Grumble.

Then at night, I refused to go upstairs coz in case you haven’t realized, they like to trap me in someone’s room to catch me. So I hid downstairs again. I hid behind Ah gong and I told Ah gong that I didn’t want to clean my ears. I heart my Ah gong deep deep- he told Cha that missing one session will not hurt. But no one listened to him. At least he tried. Then Ah bee came down and she saw that I was between the barrier and the steps. She lay down on the floor, fencing me in and I was trapped once again. That’s when they caught me.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all lived in a perfect strawberry world when there’s no ear cleaning? Heck we can even do without ears. But again, I wouldn’t be as pretty as I am now. Okay, the ears stay. No ear cleaning. Now excuse me while I dream of my perfect little strawberry world.

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