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Ah bee should only eat McChickens from now

October 3rd 2008 10:10 am
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Ah gong called me dog dog this morning. I told him my name is xiaoping and he should call me that. He insisted on calling me dog dog and we had words. I told cha I'm going to call him old man from now on.

Ah bee's supper was a McSpicy. I had to have some, and my word, it was delicious, but so spicy. My stummy is rumbling now.


When I saw that coconut, I had to say conut, conut, coconut

October 2nd 2008 9:25 am
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We saw a CSI miami advert on tv. Fomfomfom muttered, horatio is an awful name. Ah bee agreed enthusiastically and the 2 of them made like poets and went, ratio, ratio, horatio. Cha screamed that's lame and they said, we didn't say that, ping did.

I said, yeah, whatever. You can put everything on my head, just keep that fried fish coming.


Happy Children's Day to me

October 1st 2008 7:39 am
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Ah ma has taken to watering her precious plants with water she used to wash rice, fish etc. So last night she put a tub of fish water into the fridge and this morning, as the cold water was awaiting its destiny on the balcony, I lapped at it. Unfortunately, ah ma caught me and I got me some furious mouth cleaning.

As I sulked the afternoon away, I felt some rumblings in my stummy and it was a stummyache so I pooped in front of the stairs. It was the first time I'd had to poop in this house, and in a great hurry too, so the location wasn't choice. Ah ma found the pile and everyone praised me for not eating my poop. And I got lots of lovin' coz I presumably was having a stummyache.

It is Children's Day today. As is tradition, ah bee came back with a happy meal for me. The toy is a car of dubious quality, unlike the cars of yore, as ah bee recounted with great regret. I didn't like it, but the plastic cow piggybank was something else. It was a free gift from the cinema. I tried to bite its head off and when fomfomfom, mindful of the chemicals it could contain, tried to take it away, I bit her. Later, they hid the thing and I am left in regret. Chicken mcnuggets do not assuage regret.


Ah bee is very wad-tad

September 30th 2008 7:37 am
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Ah bee fancies herself a cantonese expert. So I told her something in cantonese and we thought it so fitting.

I met a dog poo activist this morning. This woman was walking her dog with her husband. Her husband was holding the leash and she was holding papers and a plastic bag. When she saw us she asked fomfomfom if she wanted some papers. Fomfomfom was confused and asked her, for what? The woman said, for my poo poo. Fomfomfom fished out a plastic bag from her pocket and told the woman she has a bag. The woman seemed satisfied.

We thought all sorts of people roam the surface of the earth and the strangest ones live in our condo.


I'm scared

September 29th 2008 9:08 am
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I almost forget to write my diary tonight. Maybe fomfomfom will spank my backside if I forget. Ah bee whispered to me if I forget to write my diary my day would have fallen into a black hole. It sounds scary. I shall resolve to write my diary everyday religiously. I don't like black holes.


Vroom vroom!

September 28th 2008 10:14 am
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Tonight we watched the F1 night race. Fomfomfom was brimming with pride and she kept saying that the whole world knows us now. Yes, I think the whole world knows us but I don't think they know us very well. Don't they know that we can't speed in this country? Tsk tsk, and they were going at 300km/h and crashing into barriers too. And making a lot of noise. That's terrible. The police is going to catch them and give them all summons. That'd teach them.

But I was rather inspired by it all and I think I will bring out my Mini for a drive.



Pioca pioca

September 27th 2008 9:34 am
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Cha came home with char kway teow and oyster omelette. I scored some fish cake and lup chiong. It was a little spicy coz Cha told the hawker ai hiam. I've never had anything spicy before. Ah ma always threatens to give me chilli padi to eat whenever I'm naughty but Ah ma is all bark and no bite. Anyway, I think I can learn to like spicy. It burns my tongue. It's fun. And exciting. Unlike F1. Which is not exciting.

So I finished up my bowl of water because my tongue was burning. Cha says I should drink milk because we saw on Mythbusters that milk works best. But I can't drink milk because Melamine is everywhere. And Melamine is no good because it makes babies grow kidney stones. I'm a baby. And I cannot allow stones to grow in my kidneys because I believe my kidneys are smaller than stones. So that means I cannot drink milk. Fomfomfom says that we will keep a cow downstairs and we will go milk the cow everyday. I'd have Melamine-free milk then.

I hope that translates into more fish cake and lup chiong for me.


livin' la vida luku but i didn't get no luku, i got pomelo

September 26th 2008 9:11 am
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Ah ma was giving me a belly rub and we were watching taiwan news together. She was nagging my mamas, about how they should all get married soon. So I had to bite ah ma. Ah ma was astonished and I told her, my mamas mustn't get married or there'll be no one to play with me anymore. Then I moved to the far end of the sofa to drive home my point and my displeasure.

There was no further discussion on the subject.


I'm a baby again

September 25th 2008 9:08 am
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It was kind of late at night when ah ma came back with her dreaded luggage. Ah bee had promised me in the morning she would bring ah ma back tonight. I was happy again. But ah ma was more excited about telling all about her casino adventure in macau than in giving me a belly rub.

After ah ma had finally showered, we settled down to watch taiwanese news on tv and life feels back to normal again.


Rainy morning

September 24th 2008 8:20 am
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This morning I awoke in great enthusiasism, as always. But cha and ah bee pointed to the sky and said, krong krong. It was raining, and what a slow rain it was. It was eleven am before fomfomfom finally brought me down and it was still drizzling. We walked only 10 minutes before I was shivering and we went home.


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