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There is nothing funny here,

July 22nd 2007 11:31 am
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don't say I didn't warn you.

Anyway, Ah bee, Fomfomfom and I, we were walking in the gardens as usual today. I was sniffing at a bush and Ah bee was blabbering, like she always does, to Fomfomfom. It usually happens this way- Ah bee would say something at length and Fomfomfom, if she can be bothered, she would say something in response and if not, she would just grunt to acknowledge that she’s been listening. But today, after Ah bee paused to wait for her response, there was nothing from Fomfomfom. So me and Ah bee, we looked up and saw that Fomfomfom wasn’t paying attention to us both. She was looking at something in the distance and it was very strange because Fomfomfom isn’t the one with the wandering eye; Ah bee is. So Ah bee and I, we looked in that direction and tried to see what was that which had caught Fomfomfom’s attention. But we didn’t see no nothing. Then Fomfomfom whispered, “Oh shit, that’s Mel.”

Mel, for those of you uninitiated, was one of Fomfomfom’s bosses a long time ago when she wasn’t unemployed. She is also the one who rings Wernie’s bell but I shall not go into that here.

Anyway, we had to turn around and go the other direction to avoid Mel coz Fomfomfom is an antisocial creature. We spied Mel and her daughter from the corner of our eyes. She’s a cute little thing dressed in pink and green. Can’t lose her in the crowd dressed like that, Fomfomfom says. I will have to agree. You can’t miss her- I could hear her giggling from where I was standing with Fomfomfom, i.e. far far away. Healthy lungs she’s got. Her hair was tied up in a, well I guess you can call it a ponytail, except it’s on top of her head which is just plain adorable. That’s the kinda kid you’d wanna have if you ever decide to have one.

We also met Phoebe, Mel and Chippy today. There was also another Shetland Sheepdog but I didn’t really like him. He doesn’t look half as pretty as Madame Butterfly. There are sheepdogs and there are sheepdogs I guess.

Oh, I also managed to avoid my weekly bath today. All thanks to Fomfomfom for fighting for my rights. And Ah ma who was too lazy to bathe me.

The neighbours on the right, I think they got a new car. Why on earth I have no idea. I cannot imagine why the two of them would need 4 cars. C’est too much. And it’s even more incredible considering how the mama takes the bus occasionally when there are so many cars sitting there. So I went to ask Ah bee about it. She asked, “Who’s the one with 3 beds?” Er… Lalala…

Moving swiftly along. Fomfomfom showed Ah bee a blackhead remover she bought just now and the two of them attempted to squeeze blackheads out of their pores with the device. Ah bee declared that it was useless and that Fomfomfom had wasted her money. Fomfomfom then proceeded to prove her wrong by successfully removing 2 blackheads from her crooked nose, which then turned beet red. This is a classic case of ai sui mai mia- beauty comes with a price. It’s a pity they aren’t blessed with extraordinary beauty like me and will have to endure bodily pain just so to get themselves into a presentable state. My heart goes out to them. And all of you out there.

I managed to irritate Cha just now by barking at her while she’s asleep. She then threw me out of the room so I went out to watch the Korean drama. I’m happy to report that it will end its run next weekend. Hopefully they will have more time for me then but I am not one to count my chickens before they are hatched- they’d probably find some other show to watch. So I say, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

In entirely unrelated news, Ah bee ate a Mcspicy meal and a 6piece nugget just now. Which is plain disgusting.

 

.....

July 21st 2007 9:40 am
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I was informed that my entries of late have been unfunny. I have to admit- creativity has been eluding me for quite sometime now. I did think of giving up mais n’inquiétez pas.

I stronger than that.

 

GEN

July 20th 2007 11:58 am
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Weizhi jiejie was supposed to come visit me today. But she didn’t show. I waited all afternoon. But she didn’t show. I am a little mad at her but I shall forgive her coz Ah bee told me that Weizhi jiejie has been reading my diary entries faithfully. And using my picture as her msn picture. And using my name in her msn nick. I underestimated the power of my charms.

Anyway, Ah bee was reading an article on addiction just now and she informed me that I have a problem. She said that I am addicted to going to the gardens. I rebutted that an addiction is a repetitive behaviour in the face of negative consequences, the desire to continue something that is bad for you. There is nothing bad about me going to the gardens. But Ah bee said that my compulsive behaviour in holding in my erm pee pee for erm the whole day and demanding to go out in the scorching sun/ pouring rain constitutes a disorder. And that the first thing in fighting addiction is to recognize that I have a problem. Whatever.

Fomfomfom says I will have to join the Gardens Enormous-Nonymous. Except that there is no such organization I think. So Fomfomfom will help me set it up. We will get ourselves registered and we’ll be an official club. We will have slot machines as any reputable club does, and any other peripheral you can think of. Because too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

We got so carried away we even thought of a slogan/jingle for the organization. It’s pretty catchy if you ask me. Here goes nothing-

Gardens Enormous-Nonymous
We’ll help fight your addiction
Gardens Enormous-Nonymous
Saving the world with passion

How do you like that?

 

The moon that is no more

July 19th 2007 9:23 am
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I was out at the porch with Ah bee and Fomfomfom just now when Fomfomfom exclaimed the moon is not where it usually is. She pointed at the moon to illustrate her point to Ah bee. Ah bee was so shocked, and she immediately told her to put her finger down. That’s coz Ah bee remembers what her mama told her when she was a little bee- Ah ma said that ears will drop when one points at the moon. Fomfomfom laughed and said, “What, the little man on the moon cuts ears?” Ah bee then solemnly informed her that her ears are a goner. Disbelievers, they have no use for ears anyway.

So I kept my paws firmly planted on the ground while I watched the moon. Initially I could see the moon in its full glory, then after about 20 minutes, it disappeared. No, it wasn’t the clouds. It is my astute observation that either the moon had fallen from the sky, or the tree in front of me had grown so much that it blocked my view of the moon. Either way, it doesn’t sound too good. I think I shall go get my ready-bag.

 

You're not heavy; you're my baobei

July 18th 2007 11:53 am
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I have a shadow. Her name is Mushroom. According to Cha who said that my shadow looks like a mo-gu. If she says so.

I also have a new boyfriend. His name is Ricky and he’s the not-so-tall, dark and handsome sort. He’s also younger than me and I’m not too comfortable with that. I think I prefer mature men, like Kait.

Ah bee and Ah ma went out for lunch with my Yiyi-mamas today. When Ah bee sent my Ah yi mama home, she got to see my Zhuzhu jiejie and carried her. Ah bee came home and told me that she’s so thankful I weigh only 5.5kg, unlike my jiejie who is a whole 3kg heavier. She promised not to complain the next time she has to carry me in the gardens. I will hold her to that.

 

Xiao Ping and Friends

July 17th 2007 10:32 am
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I met so many friends today! First we met these 2 dogs, I think they are Cocker Spaniels. They wanted to play with me but I was a little apprehensive and I remembered what Auntie Butterfly taught me about jingchi so I hid behind Ah bee. They left soon after.

After that we ran into the black Schnauzer who lives at Shelford. Then Patch and gang (sans Phoebe who was home playing with the newborn baby) came along and the 5 of us played while the 5 of them complained about the weather.

We ran into the 2 Spaniels again and the papa asked for my name. Fomfomfom told him and he said, “Oh, he ping de ping.” Then Fomfomfom said, “No, ping guo de ping.” Then they all went, “Hurhurhur.” How juvenile. Btw, the papa sounds a little effeminate, which is in sharp contrast with his manly son, who handed one of them Spaniels over to his mama just so that he could pat me. I like him already.

Then we met the 2 black Labs from yesterday. We always see them around but we never actually stopped to play. We knew them as the 2 big dogs in a Mini Cooper. I know their names now- Magic and Diva and they are siblings. Magic is a lot bigger than Diva coz he is a boy. I didn’t exactly play with them today either but I got a little braver and so a little nearer today. Their owner said that I wanted to play but I was too scared, but it would get better as time goes by and we meet more frequently in the gardens. I think Fomfomfom balked a little at that coz that Fomfomfom, she’s the antisocial one. Pas moi.

We met Patch and gang again near the bamboo area. They were taking a rest in the shade. I took my rest by getting Ah bee to carry me.

Anyway, when we were about to leave, we bumped into the Labs again near the carpark and their mama asked whether we stayed around the area. She said that she has seen us around the estate and it turns out that they live there too. Well, somewhat. So we’re not just friends now; we’re neighbours!

I can’t wait to go back to the gardens.

 

Of big dogs. And tiny ones.

July 16th 2007 9:46 pm
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I made a new friend today. His name is Guai Guai and he is a 12 year old Miniature Silky Terrier. Fomfomfom said, “Silky Terrier so small still need to miniature meh?” My Fomfomfom, she says it as it is.

We also met 2 big black dogs. I think they are black Labs. They are HUGE and I was so scared I hid behind Ah bee. Their owner said they are really gentle and playful but I wasn’t about to stick around and find out.

 

I think I smell too good

July 15th 2007 10:36 am
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even for myself.

Anyway, we met this Japanese family in the gardens today. We’ve met before, but previously I didn’t play and all they said was, “Kawaiiiiiii ne!” I think they are very kawaii ne too.

 

When they keep asking you to go.....

July 14th 2007 8:52 am
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I hate it when all I wanna do is to go to bed and they refuse to let me sleep. Instead, they chase me from one side of the newspapers to the other and back, all the while making shhhhhhhhing noises at me.

 

The world belongs to the beautiful

July 13th 2007 11:26 pm
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Indeed it does. Unless of course you live in a place where there are anti-discriminatory laws. That’s when they’d have you believe that the world belongs to everyone. But Fomfomfom says that it’s just a load of crap and the only way everyone can be equal is when we all live in smurfland.

But why would I wanna live in smurfland when I am so beautiful and extrapolating that-

The world belongs to me.

 
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