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Good cop, bad cop

December 20th 2007 8:37 am
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I’m not fooled by it. They think they’re so clever but they only succeed because I let them. Anybody can see through that routine- Cha would scold me for not refusing to sleep at my bedtime, and the other two would fuss over me. But at least they try to be consistent by getting Cha to play bad cop; we all know why she’s called Cha in the first place, don’t we? Anyway, I decided to indulge them today; it’s no fun coming out tops all the time.

Ah ma and Cha went to the temple today because they need to, how do I put this, return the blessings of the gods. FYI, we Chinese have the horoscope consisting of 12 animals. And each year, a couple of them will clash with the erm taisui. If you fall under that, you should go to the temple and pray so that the gods will protect you from calamities that year. And if you survive the year well and good, you are supposed to go back to the temple to thank the gods for their protection. So, with so many people in this house, we are bound to have someone’s horoscope clashing with the taisui and someone who has to go offer thanks for the previous year. Ah ma does this for everyone every year. Bless Ah ma. Anyway, they were talking about the horoscope and they say that I was born in the Year of the Goat. They called me a sheep in dog’s coat. Hello? Of course I fought for my dignity. I’m a dog; I descended from wolves. I’ve got blood of fearsome predators running in my veins. What sheep? I’m not a sheep. Then Ah bee said that I’m a Capricorn and that further shows that I am a sheep. I was so worried that she might be right so I went to check it out. Thank goodness- Sagittarius is my sign. I’m an archer, not a goat. I’m not going to let them lure me into having an identity crisis. *repeats to self* I’m a dog. Raaaaaaaa!

Oh Ah ma chased me with her blanket just now. She was so happy she kept laughing. She was the only one. Fomfomfom and Ah bee laughed a couple of times for the sake of being polite but that was it. I don’t think Ah ma ever played with them like this. No wonder they all turn out weird. Not me; I’m happy and balanced.

Lalala.

 

I love the French.

December 19th 2007 8:33 am
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Today I had kantang au naturale. Fomfomfom bought it for me yesterday. It looks like French fries and it smells like potato chips. Ah bee and Cha wanted to eat them. But I said no. They will have to get their own bag. That one is mine. I reckon I ate half a bag already. I would have finished everything but I wasn’t allowed to. Suddenly I don’t mind ear cleaning anymore. They even got white specks on them ala salt on fries. But it ain’t salt; it’s shavings made of milk. The Japanese, they think of everything.

I don’t think I like going to the gardens so early afterall; I have nothing to do for the rest of the day. Oh but today wasn’t so bad coz we had the exterminators over. They were supposed to do something about the ant problem but I don’t think they did a very good job coz Ah ma was screaming. At what I have no idea. I think we’ll have to continue stocking up on the Baygon.

 

The two-legged bird

December 18th 2007 6:42 am
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We went to the gardens early today coz it looked like it was going to pour. There were many kids there. Screaming kids who usually scream for the sake of screaming. I don’t do that; I only bark when I see other dogs. Like when I saw this little silky terrier today. He’s the first dog I’ve seen in a really really long time. I miss my friends.

Anyway it started raining halfway into the walk and so we headed home. The moment we got back, it stopped raining. My little heart only felt a little more vindicated when it started raining again.

Oh I got a present from Bishana yiyi today. It’s a little birdie windmill. I like it a lot except I get a little scared when they chase me with it.

Ah ma, Ah gong and Fomfomfom went to visit my tai ma after dinner. I was home with Ah bee. We slept the whole time they were out. We are exhausted from doing nothing the whole day.

 

The big picture

December 17th 2007 8:10 am
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It rained all day. Everyone thought that I wouldn’t get to go out but at around 5, the rain appeared to have stopped. So Fomfomfom, Cha and I, we made a dash for it. Pity the rain came back quicker than I could say “heng ah!”. But it was alright- we were out already. So we walked. It was really cold, with the wind and all. Brrr. I know Cha and Fomfomfom were shivering. Not me. I didn’t want to come back; I was having too much fun, but the poor gals were soaked. I didn’t want them to fall sick otherwise no one would bring me to the gardens so we left. I’m not myopic that way.

 

I see your lips moving.....

December 16th 2007 5:59 am
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You know I love my Ah ma but someone should tell her to stop talking to me when I’m having my bath. She doesn’t realize this but I can’t exactly hear her when I’ve got them cotton balls- to keep the water out- in my ears. I know what she said alright. “Pingping guai guai… Pingping don’t bite me ah Pingping… Don’t move..” I know because she says these all the time. And because I can lipread. One of my many talents, if you must know.

But really, I can’t hear you, Ah ma!

 

It is a good thing we went to the gardens at 130pm today.

December 15th 2007 8:49 am
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Coz the rain didn’t let up. Not till dinner time. That’s December for you. Freakish weather. All month long. And more. But one thing good did come out of it- I’ve managed to escape my weekly bath yet again. I’m about 3 days overdue. I wonder if I can keep it up for the rest of the month.

In other news, Ah ma gave me one of her old tshirts to sleep on. I love it. It smells of Ah ma. ‘Nuff said.

Also my Ah gong is back from China. Again, he doesn’t have anything for me. But it’s alright. He doesn’t have anything for anybody. It’s really okay; anything’s better than that bust of himself he brought back the last time.

 

*Scratch scratch*

December 14th 2007 8:28 am
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I got many of them red marks on my belly and my chest. I’ve got some on my back too. Everyone thought that they are mosquito bites but Ah ma thinks that there might be some microscopic bugs that aren’t visible to the naked eye hiding in one of my mattresses. So she’s going to wash them mattresses really thoroughly so I’d be able to sleep in peace. She scratches those marks for me too coz I’m itching all over. I love my Ah ma.

I forgot to talk about the three dogs that we met at the gardens yesterday. They were running amok without adult supervision. One of them only has three legs. But he runs as fast as the other two. I think it’s wonderful the way they enjoyed themselves, sniffing around and chasing one another. Quality of life, I say. Just wonderful.

 

Things are best old.

December 13th 2007 10:23 am
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Wow! I got diary of the day again! And along with that, 6 Rosettes, 13 pup pal requests and 1 mail! Thanks guys I really appreciate it loads. *beams*

Ah bee and Fomfomfom were reminiscing about old drama serials and Paddle Pop ice cream. Paddle Pop *hey* Paddle Pop *hey* Super Duper Yummy! I like that jingle. A lot. So I told Fomfomfom that I want to sell Paddle Pop ice cream at the gardens. You know, like how people sell franks on the beach. So I’d carry a cooler with lotsa ice cream in it and go around hawking my ware. I’d sing the jingle and look at my customers with my big big eyes and then they’d melt, like my ice cream in the heat. I told Ah bee that with my good looks and that jingle, I can even sell melted ice cream. But just in case I can’t, I’ve got a backup plan- I’ll bring it home, pick out the packaging, pour it into a tray and freeze it in the freezer. When it’s done, it can be cut up and satay sticks can be stuck into them. Viola! Potong! But there’s one drawback- I can’t say Super Duper Yummy coz they will know that it’s Paddle Pop masquerading as Potong. Sigh. You can’t have it all.

Super Duper Yummy!

 

Billions of blistering barnacles

December 12th 2007 10:31 am
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I’m not very good at telling time coz I can’t really read the clock so I remember my schedule by sequence. See, I’d wake up, greet Ah ma, take a nap, have lunch, take another nap, go to the gardens, have dinner, take another nap, have supper and then turn in for the day. That’s how I know what I should be doing at any time of the day. But somehow I don’t think it turned out right today. They told me that I ate my dinner at 3pm today. And I had an extra meal. But it’s not my fault; it’s the rain. I don’t like the rain. It muddles things up.

I farted and burped at the same time. Comes out both ways. Bet you can’t do it. *giggles*

 

Hangover

December 11th 2007 8:37 am
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We went to the gardens at 1plus in the afternoon today. It’s the earliest I’ve been there. Coz Fomfomfom was worried about my peepee and it looked like it was going to rain. It did rain. Anyway, one would have thunk that it would be deserted. But nooooo, there were like 40 kids running around and strange grownup people in working attire who were drinking wine from plastic cups. Most bizarre I know.

Somehow after dinner, my collar ended up around my waist. It was extremely uncomfortable. Vogue yes. But uncomfortable. It made walking painful and so I sat down until Ah bee removed the collar for me. These people have nothing better to do. They should really find something to occupy themselves with. Something that makes them vibrate. Or they’d be too dull. Right Wagalegong?

Just now I was on the sofa with Ah bee when I decided that I wanted to go join Fomfomfom on the other sofa. So I walked to the edge of the sofa I was on and tried to get over the armrest. But I was a little scared and didn’t dare to leap over to the other armrest. So the front of my body hung over that armrest. Ah bee reached over to help me. The next thing I know, I was on the bathroom counter and they were cleaning my ears. How on earth did I end up there when all I was trying to do was to jump over to the other sofa? Fomfomfom informed me that I can’t figure out what happened because I was hungover.

Oh.

 
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