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Fomfomfom was born under the broom star.

August 20th 2007 10:19 am
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There is one slight difference though- she only jinxes herself. Like today, it was a beautiful day, the mahjong gals were over and everyone was happy. Then she started telling Ah bee that she lost money today. Ah ma, who was walking by, heard her and asked why she lost money. She said she shorted her futures. Then Ah ma went, “How can you short?!?!? It’s going up!” Then Ah ma told her that she should go back to work if she’s losing money like this. Ah ma said she’s lazy and she should be working instead of playing with me all day long. Fomfomfom was so scared she apologized for shorting. In the meantime, Cha was sniggering somewhere coz she shorted too but she didn’t get no scolding.

Later, Ah bee poured milk on the floor for me and Fomfomfom was in the kitchen with us. Ah ma walked into the kitchen and Fomfomfom’s face turned white. She almost scrambled up the kitchen cabinet coz she knew that Ah ma would get angry if she sees the milk on the floor. She darted out of the kitchen and Ah bee started laughing hysterically. In case you haven’t realized, Fomfomfom gets blamed for everything in this house. Cha says it’s because she’s a doormat. And the only way for her to regain her favourite daughter status was for her to go back to work. This, she vehemently refuses. Ah ma doesn’t realize that the two of them are being entrepreneurial here. I will tell her to understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day and that I need them to bring me to the gardens everyday.

Ah bee saw that my meimei looked a little raw and pink but they can’t decide if there is something wrong or if it has always been like that. I am not tellin’.


Cheeeep cheeeeep

August 19th 2007 5:43 am
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Ah ma was so tickled that this Taiwanese couple has a little sparrow for a pet. Er it’s not a tiger or an elephant you know Ah ma… It’s just a little tweety bird. What’s so amazing about keeping a bird as a pet? I know the bird eats its meals with the couple, wakes them up by singing songs, takes hot showers in winters and answers telephone calls when they’re not available but I do that too! And more!

But I digress. This is my diary and I shan’t spend all my time talking about some silly bird. I had to take my third shower in three days today. And I didn’t even get to go to the gardens; we only took a walk around the neighbourhood. I guess it wasn’t all that bad considering I got to go out in the rain. I love splashing in the puddles! Squish squish!

My right ear smells extremely funky and Ah bee saw that there’s dried blood. That’s coz it’s so itchy I scratched so hard it bled. I need some lovin’ from Ah ma.



August 18th 2007 9:15 am
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Taiwan is going to be hit by a typhoon soon. I know because Fomfomfom asked where Ah ma was going and she said she was going to watch the news to see if Taiwan is already flooded. I told Ah ma that the gardens is flooded and I asked her if there’s going to be a television crew at the gardens today to report on it, just like how they are covering Taiwan. Maybe they will interview me. I told Ah bee that I want to wear my dress.

But alas, I didn’t get to wear my dress and there was no crew. But the gardens is still flooded. Maybe tomorrow.


Shampoo party

August 17th 2007 8:40 am
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Fomfomfom bought a top today. It’s silky and has flowers all over it. It’s also pink. The good thing is it doesn’t look as ugly as it sounds. And for that kinda price, it’d better be pretty. I haven’t seen Fomfomfom in it; no one has. I think she will look pretty in it. Even if she doesn’t, all’s not lost yet; I can sleep on it. It’s real nice and soft. I think I’d tell her she looks horrid in it so she’d give it to me.

It rained in the afternoon and I didn’t get to go to the gardens till about 530. We were the only ones there today. At least there was a breeze.

Ah ma is very unhappy today and she snapped at almost everyone. Fomfomfom bore the brunt of it. But I know she’s still smarting over it coz she kept asking me if I wanna join her shampoo party. I politely declined- a slumber party with Cha is enough. She can wash her hair all she likes. Leave me outta it.


Mona Lisa

August 16th 2007 7:25 am
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There are many unhappy persons in the house today. I know because they keep grumbling. But I know the unhappiest person is not in this house- he’s at Phuket. I hope Phuket can make him happy.

There were ants on the grass today. Them ants crawled up my paws and they bit me. So I twitched and jumped, hoping to get them off. No such luck. So Fomfomfom had to hold me while Ah bee picked them off one by one. I need some lovin.

A woman asked if she could take a picture of me today. Ah bee said okay but I refused to stand still for her. She had to make do with a blur picture that did not do justice to my beauty. Also, there were women painting in the gardens today. I must say the paintings aren’t too shabby. I considered commissioning them to do a portrait of me ala Mona Lisa but Ah bee reminded me that I cannot even stand still for a picture, much less a painting. She speaks true. So I came up with a brilliant idea. They can paint my ears one day, then my nose, and my eyes. They will do one body part a day until they finish them all. Then they can piece them together like a mosaic. And I wouldn’t have to pose for them at all. How clever is that?


To bring a little cheer

August 15th 2007 7:55 am
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Today I cheered Cha up because she was having a rough day. I use this on anyone who needs cheering up. Let me teach you how to do it properly. You go to the person and say, “Unhappy Person, let me tell you a story. I was a leaf in my past life. One day I dropped from the tree and I went to meet Maker. I told Maker, ‘Maker, Maker, I want to be Unhappy Person’s [insert relevant relation].’ Maker said to me, ‘But you will have to endure the likes of [insert names of repulsive individuals in the same circle] if you insist on being the [insert relevant relation] of Unhappy Person.’ I said, ‘It is okay because all I want to be is Unhappy Person’s [insert relevant relation].’” *cue* Awwwwwwwwwww! Mission accomplished.

My right ear stinks and it’s a little swollen on the inside. I might have to go to the vet very soon. I will ask my si gui to go along because he will need to see the doctor. He has a problem with his weight. Jan yiyi has to buy him a new collar because the fats on his neck have folded over and the old collar cannot be seen anymore. That is why she bought him a thicker one. If you ask me, he doesn’t need a new collar; he just needs to stop eating.


Xiao Ping and Ah ma

August 14th 2007 8:56 am
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My Ah ma and I, we are best friends. We spend almost all our time together and we show our love for each other in many ways. She would make snide remarks about how silly/lazy/stupid I am, and turn around and praise me for being clever/cute/cute/cute. I would bark at her when she’s sleeping and destroy every single pair of her slippers. Like today, I didn’t hear the gate and I only realized that Ah bee was home when Fomfomfom told me. She teased about my slow reaction or something. So I stole her slippers and made them all wet and slimy. But we also watch tv together. We greet passersby together. And we take afternoon naps together. She bathes me and I watch her take dumps.

No one loves me like Ah ma does and no one loves Ah ma like I do. Kiss kiss Ah ma.

In other news, Fomfomfom found out that Ah ma keeps a tub of lard in the fridge which she uses to cook stuff. She shudders to think that all the oh-so-healthy vegetables could possibly have been cooked in lard. She informed Cha and Ah bee but all she got was a orh. Ah bee knew there was a tub of lard lurking in fridge somewhere but it simply didn't register in her head. Poor Fomfomfom, no one understands how she feels. I can't say I do.

Lard is a wonderful wonderful thing.


Wo sheng bin!

August 13th 2007 8:54 am
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Fomfomfom is not feeling too good. Her nose is blocked, her eyes are tearing and her voice is really sexy. She said that she would go see a doctor if there’s no improvement by tomorrow. This says something; like me, Fomfomfom dislikes going to the dotter dotter immensely. She is one very ill woman. Kiss kiss Fomfomfom. I wanted to kiss her just now but her door was closed and her lights were out. So I barked to tell her to open the door. Then Cha came running out of her room and shooed me away from Fomfomfom’s door. If Fomfomfom doesn’t get well tomorrow coz she was deprived of my lovin, we all know it’s Cha’s fault. Hmph!

Ah ma lost 50 bucks at mahjong today. She loses almost every week but I guess this is a small price to pay for full day entertainment. I would pay 50 bucks if I can spend one full day at the gardens. But I don’t have 50 bucks I think. And I am not sure if 50 bucks will do the trick. Contributions are nonetheless welcomed.


I moped and I moped

August 12th 2007 6:07 am
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but still I didn’t get to go to the gardens until it was almost 6 coz Cha was watching tv and Fomfomfom wasn’t about to scare the good folks at the gardens on a Sunday. Ah ma tried to cheer me up by offering to bring me to the garden to bark at passersby first but I didn’t bite. I will not settle for anything less. My heart is set on going to the gardens and to the gardens I shall go.

It was late when we got there and as usual the carpark was full. Where Fomfomfom always parks along the roadside was packed too so we had to venture deeper into the residential area. We eventually parked outside this house. It’s not an ordinary house. By association to the 2 Rolls, Bentley and Porsche parked at the porch. Or maybe it’s the huge fountain in the middle of the driveway. Or the Italian marble carvings on the façade. Maybe the 4 huge columns that right in front. Yes, it is not an ordinary house. It is the house of a person who has too much moolah but unfortunately doesn’t understand the meaning of subtlety.

Cha promised me an hour but I was too bushed so we left after 35 minutes. Right now I am watching tv with my Ah gong and Ah ma.




August 11th 2007 2:22 am
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I finally got my Mickey Mouse pancake just now but I refused to eat it coz it smells rather bland. So Ah bee ate it up. Only coz everyone else didn’t want it either.

We went to pick Ah ma up from the condo just now. She was cleaning the place coz the electric grill gang is going to stay over tonight. I was invited but I politely declined- it’s more important that I keep my Ah ma company. My poor Ah ma, always slaving away for them three. They’re nothing but trouble. Ah ma should have heeded my advice a long time ago and thrown them away. What can I say? It fell on deaf ears. *giggles*

Anyway, at the condo, Ah bee carried me and we swung the swing. It was quite fun and I wasn’t scared at all. Then later, Fomfomfom joined us on the see-saw. It was so much fun we couldn’t stop giggling. The security guard stopped and took a double look. Obviously he’s never seen anything quite like it.


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