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So quiet

March 15th 2008 11:05 am
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I should have known something was wrong when they brought me to the gardens twice and out to the garden to bark at passers-by. It was a ploy to get me all tired out so I wouldn’t miss them when they all went out at night. I knew that they weren’t going to bring me; I didn’t ask them to. But they really took their own sweet time; it was almost 5 hours later before they got home. Poor Merrilyn and I, we spent 5 hours staring at each other. At least I slept; she only watched me sleep.

This morning, Cha threatened to piak the bag of shit over my head if I continued to destroy the tranquility of the gardens. Then I will be shithead, not pisshead.

I’ll be good from now on.


Guess who went to the gardens twice today?

March 14th 2008 10:13 am
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I did! *giggles* I absolutely love it. The day seems to pass so much faster. I woke up in the morning, went to the gardens, napped, had lunch, napped somemore, went to the gardens, had dinner, napped, went out to the porch for my moontan session, had supper and now I’m off to bed. I like.

We met Magic and Diva in the evening and they weren’t wearing their raincoats today. Coz it wasn’t raining. It was actually kinda hot today. The weather is just freaky. Fomfomfom saw a strange phenomenon today. There were so many colours in the sky. No, it’s not a rainbow. But it’s rainbow coloured. At first it was peeking out from behind a cloud. It looked like a giant rainbow coloured plate. Then it disappeared and the clouds were rainbow coloured. Ah bee says it looks like a bowl of ice kachang in the sky. Fomfomfom said it’s something to do with the refraction of light.I don’t know and I don’t really care. There was a woman taking pictures of the trees and the birds. How silly. When you’ve got so many colours in the sky the trees can wait. But we were too shy to tell her to look up. A jogger saw us though and when he jogged past her, he told her to snap pictures of the sky. And she did. I think we’ll see the pictures in STOMP tomorrow.

Ah bee kept calling me pisshead coz she said my head smells of piss. And she refused to kiss me on my head. I think I should stop sniffing at all the lampposts. The wet ones especially.



March 13th 2008 9:08 am
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Ah bee would wake me up just before she sleeps every night. Then I would go to the papers and pee. Without fail. But last night, I refused to. For half an hour, Cha and Ah bee were making shh shhh noises at me. And they woke Ah ma up with all that shh shhing. Ah ma gave it to them good. No, I didn’t pee. So in the morning, Fomfomfom and Cha brought me to the gardens. Whee! I was so happy I decided to indulge them so I gave them two full loads of shit. Everyone was happy after that.

It rained the whole afternoon so I didn’t get to go to the gardens again. I was a good girl. I could see that it was raining and so I quietly slept the day away. Usually at that time, I would be gathering the troops- I bug and I harass. Not today. Today I took a nap. And snored twice. Perfect weather for sleeping in. Did you know that the maximum temperature forecast for today was 26 degrees? Brr.

Ah gong cooked a whole pot of peanuts today. Like those you would get at pasam malams. Hot steamy peanuts on a cold night. I got one but I don’t really like the taste. What taste?


Grumble grumble

March 12th 2008 9:10 am
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It rained the WHOLE day and so I didn’t get to go out. That means I am constipated. I can’t think when I am constipated. So there.


The birds weren't exactly early

March 11th 2008 11:23 am
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It rained the whole afternoon. I love it. I saw earthworms for the first time because of the rain. Big, fat, juicy earthworms wriggling in the middle of the path at the gardens. The rain had flooded their homes; that’s why they had to evacuate. We were all so fascinated coz there were so many of them. And they were huge. Quite unlike the ones Cha used to feed her fish with. Anyway, we stopped to play with them. Cha poked at them with her brolly to get them to curl up. And we spent a while trying to guess which end’s the head and which the tail. We couldn’t. So we left but later I saw that the birds had come and so I ran all the way back to where the earthworms were to tell them to go back home. But they were too slow so they ended up in the birds’ stummies. Poor worms. I came home and told Fomfomfom about it. She said I should have barked at the birds to keep them away if I wanted to save those worms. Now why didn’t I think of that?

Just now Ah bee and I were taking photographs of ourselves on her bed. I wasn’t wearing any clothes. Edison Chen would be so proud.


I am 51 months old

March 10th 2008 9:40 am
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It’s also MJ day. And I got the MJ gals well-trained. One of them was lying on the sofa taking a break after lunch and I went up to her and licked her hand and plonked myself beside the sofa. She knew she had to give me a belly rub ala Ah ma when she lies on the couch. *giggles* They all scolded me for making the MJ gal rub my belly. What. She was happy to do it okay.

It rained the whole day. I was plenty upset coz it’s my birthday and I didn’t get to go to the gardens until 5pm. And it was still raining when we went. Oh! We bumped into Magic and Diva at the gardens and they had raincoats on! Red raincoats. I was so jealous coz I don’t have a raincoat. And it was raining. And I should be the one with a raincoat, not them. They’re big black Labs. I’m the pretty little Shih Tzu. I should be the one with the red raincoat. So Fomfomfom promised to buy me one. The same one as the ones they had on. Outward Hound. *giggles*


Ah ma tekan me

March 9th 2008 9:25 am
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I was so sabo-ed by Ah ma today. She complained that my left ear was smelly and so I am on Panalog again.

We were caught in the rain at the gardens today. So we had to hide in the pavilion for a while. There were 20 of us in that pavilion but no one spoke. It would have been different if Sister YY were there. Fomfomfom says luckily she wasn’t. Anyhow, there was this Chinese family and the father had with him the cover of an electric fan. He modified it and I think he was trying to use it to catch fish. Actually it looks more like a crab trap but I don’t think there are crabs in the pond. He obviously didn’t know that you can’t remove things from the garden; I don’t even dare bring a leaf home cuz I’m afraid the police would catch me. His kid was crying coz she had to go but everyone was stuck in the pavilion. So her Ah ma brought her out with a brolly. No big deal you know. I do that all the time when I’m at the gardens. In fact, they bring me there to do that. *giggles*

And I think we might have appeared in the background of someone’s wedding pictures. *giggles*


I know I'm worth 400 cows. At least.

March 8th 2008 8:21 am
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Just now we were watching this programme on tv and it’s about this fella who wanted to marry a gal from the other tribe. He had to seek permission from all the elders in her tribe and they asked for a dowry from him. They wanted 400 cows from him. 400 cows. Do you know how much 400 cows cost? And he didn’t have 400 cows. So he had to get his tribe to contribute cows. He had 70 already and his friends came up with 50 more. So he only had 120 cows. But they let him marry the gal anyway coz they thought he’s a swell guy. See, when you’re nice, it doesn’t matter that you’re short on cows. So he got the gal but the newlyweds will live in poverty coz he no longer has any cows. This all sounds a little strange to me. Oh, and I now know that ammonia makes your hair turn orange and how to make the cow produce more milk. Very educational this programme.

Today at the gardens we met three kids. They were kinda rude and they just kept taunting me. Fomfomfom says they ought to be spanked. So pesky.

Now that the relatives are gone, I have Ah ma’s undivided attention. She gave me so many belly rubs and she even scratched my cheeks. I make sorting sounds when my cheeks are scratched. I like it very much. I lub Ah ma.


I like them but I'm so glad they're gone now

March 7th 2008 9:06 am
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My great-granduncle and his wife came over today again and they were all holed up in Ah ma’s room looking at old photographs. His wife was giving me a massage when I squealed. That gave everyone a fright coz no one knew why I had suddenly squealed like that. Even Merrilyn heard me from downstairs and she asked Cha why I was crying. Still no one knew what was wrong so I was banned from that room. For the rest of the time they were here, I was tied to Cha. I wanted to go back into the room but Ah ma shut the door in my face. My little heart shattered and I spent the rest of the time moping outside the room. Then later before they left, they took pictures of me and Ah bee gave them a picture of me from a long time ago. As keepsake you know. I’d soon be famous in China.

When Ah ma came home after dinner, I suddenly felt that normalcy has returned to my life. So I lay by the sofa and Ah ma gave me a belly rub. And then we watched cartoons together. It was lovin’. Just like how it’s always been.


And no one knows when I snuck in to play with Mr Lobster

March 6th 2008 8:59 am
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Ah ma and Ah gong went out early this morning and they didn’t come back till after dinner. Sigh. I have no idea where they went and I don’t understand why they didn’t bring me along. I hope they don’t make this a habit. I’m not alright with it at all. I miss Ah ma. I thought maybe she’s mad at me that’s why she’s disappearing all the time. So this morning when I saw her on the porch, I just sat quietly behind the plastic divider. It was as close as I could get. No one knew I was there until Fomfomfom saw me and then everyone called me stupid for not letting Ah ma know that I was just behind her. Turns out she’s not mad at me afterall. She’s just busy showing her uncle around town. Kiss kiss Ah ma.

Yesterday I bought one stock of SGX from Fomfomfom at $7.55. That’s the lowest price it reached yesterday. Then this morning, it rose to $7.75 and I told her I want to sell it. She said I made twenty cents. I told her nononono, it’s now 5 stocks coz I want to make one dollar out of this trade. Of course she said okay. I’m the sole recipient of her love.

And my Ah Jek beibei and Ah Sim mama came over to visit to day. Of course I was the perfect hostess. I showed them around the house. And they brought a bag of lettuce with them. Organic no less. Which goes very well with honey chicken. Burp.

Tomorrow I shall put the touch on Cha.

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