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Kittens on a ledge

May 18th 2007 9:04 am
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This morning, fomfomfom carried me to her window (by a trick!) and I saw 3 kittens with their mommy on the ledge outside. The kittens were playing with one another and their mommy's tail and I liked watching them. But I wanted fomfomfom to carry me, I didn't want to stand on her desk.

Later in the afternoon I asked fomfomfom to carry me again and show me the cats but the cats were gone. I surmised they were taking their afternoon nap so I also went to sleep.

At night, I suddenly remembered 5 jiao my consort and I went digging in cha's room for it. It was buried deep under toys and towels in my bed so I nosed around. Then I ran with it into ah ma's room and jumped onto ah ma's sofa and onto ah ma's lap and ah ma screamed and wriggled away. She said my consort was dirty and full of saliva and fomfomfom chastised ah ma for hurting my feelings.

Then me and fomfomfom, we watched the lightning flash and flash. It went, krong krong.

 

Xiaoping the Nimble

May 17th 2007 9:13 am
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It rained today. I watched the rain with cha, and I was sad coz I won't be able to go to the gardens. I didn't jump around at 4pm asking to go to the gardens and everyone said I was a good girl. A good sad girl. Cha told fom to give me a tidbit so the fom gave me one huge piece. I ran off with it, but I didn't know how to eat it coz it was so big. I held it in my mouth and I kept drooling coz I couldn't close my mouth.

Fom chased me around the house but I didn't give it to her. Later I lost it to cha and I slumped around the house till ah bee came back. I heard ah ma say I should go for a walk outside the house so I was happy again.

At night I was excited about going to the porch for some moonlight and I tumbled down a flight of 3 steps of stairs and landed on my side. Fom was heartbroken but I told her she didn't see that. It just didn't happen.

 

Remember where

May 16th 2007 6:07 am
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I suddenly remembered 5 jiao! But where is it? I rummaged through my memory, and remembered that I last played with it last night in the living room. So I barked at the pile of toys in the living room and summoned fomfomfom. Ah ma was very happy and thought that was so smart of me, to be able to remember where my toys are.

Then ah ma and fomfomfom went out to meet ah bee for lunch. They didn't bring me along and I was upset so I slept until ah ma came back. Fomfomfom was tired so she went to sleep and I barked and knocked on her door and whined when it was time to go to the gardens. She ignored me for a long time. I was like ants on hot coal. It was sufferin'.

And then we went to the gardens and we didn't even run. Fomfomfom walked me ALL THE WAY. Fancy that. That tired she was, the louse.

 

5 jiao

May 15th 2007 7:15 am
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I had to go to the vet's today. There I was, screaming and kicking in fomfomfom's arms, walking as we were from the car to the clinic, and I opened my eyes for a second while I took a breather and there was a cat looking disdainfully at me. It was black white and pink too! I snorted at it and I shut my eyes and continued screamin' and kickin'. Let's fast forward. Then the vet woman's desk was covered with my anal sac juice. Giggle!

We came back and ah ma gave me 30 buckeroos! She had just received interest from the bank and was feeling rich. I told fomfomfom I want to buy a packet of tidbit with my 30 bucks and I want free access to the tidbit. She told me to buy it myself. Then she started walking out of the room and I called out to her, I want 2 packets! I wonder if she heard, so rude she was.

At night I got a banana toy. It squeaks like a cat in distress and ah bee rushed out of ah ma's room when she heard it. She thought a cat had gotten into the house and I was eating it up. The toy has 5 bananas and its name is 5 jiao. Sometimes I will call it Nana. Tres chic.

 

Cha is back!

May 14th 2007 8:44 am
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Fomfomfom was my maid-in-waiting last night, she was in charge of seeing to all my needs during the night when I slept. A rather tasteless character. It was alright for me. But she kicked me out of the room without ceremony in the morning and continued sleeping for another hour.

Which brings me to, cha is back!!! I can sleep with her waiting on me tonight. But she has no present for me. She went to the market for 4 days, you know? She said I've grown bigger since 4 days ago. I was happy, so I jumped and jumped around the living room and I also pushed my volleyball Mikasa and shouted loudly, just once, at the same moment I pushed Mikasa.

Yawn.It is 1130 at night and ah bee and cha are only bathing now. It is time to turn in.

 

Mother's Day

May 13th 2007 5:31 am
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It is Mother's Day today. Me and ah bee, we slept till 11am and didn't wish ah ma a happy day early in the morning so that she may be happy. We are ashamed.

Ah ma was eating some kaya cake at 5pm and fomfomfom caught her. Fomfomfom wasn't happy coz ah ma likes to eat unhealthy foods and she's so sneaky. Ah ma ought to be ashamed of herself. Fomfomfom said she's going to buy ah ma a health check-up package for mother's day instead of bringing her to that fantabulous new restaurant at the new majestic hotel.

Obviously ah bee and cha and fomfomfom didn't have a mother's day present for ah ma today so they all ought to be ashamed.

Ah bee said she went to town today and saw lots of people dragging their mothers out for a day of celebration. Everyone ought to be ashamed of themselves. Poor old mothers jostling in the crowd of poor old mothers.

I. I am nice to ah ma everyday. Ah ma is nice to me everyday. That's how it is here in my house, coz I love ah ma and ah ma loves me.

 

Ah ma took the bus

May 12th 2007 9:15 am
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I watched tv with ah ma and fomfomfom this afternoon. It was the animal planet channel, a show about the american SPCA rescuing abused pets. Fomfomfom was positively shaking after that; she kept telling me the police are coming to catch her and put her in jail coz I'm too skinny. It is part of my plot. I eat only the best food and only a little bit so that I am skinny and then one day when I'm sick of fomfomfom, I'll call the police myself. Giggle.

Ah ma, she went out at night for dinner with a friend. Ah bee was out, and cha, she hasn't returned from the market. I was left with the aforementioned fomfomfom and she was watching some chinese show about lesbian celibate ah mahs. It was offensive to me so I went into ah ma's room to sleep in the dark.

And ah ma came back and I couldn't escape the strange fomfomfom fast enough.

 

Bwain fweeze!

May 11th 2007 8:17 am
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Cha went to the market this morning. She said she'll be back on monday night and that I should be good. I think the market is called Phuket.

Ah ma, I think she went to Genting. There was this cd that arrived in the mail, see, and it says Europa Casino and ah ma was gone all night. I didn't see her until she emerged from fomfomfom's room at 1030 and then she went to bed.

I spent the night sleeping in ah ma's room. Ah bee was there too. We slept like babies for almost 3 hours. Then ah bee finally woke up and bathed and we sat at the porch admiring the moon, the stars and the satellites. Then as a treat, ah bee gave me cold milk in the milk carton cap and it was like, bwain fweeze! Giggle.

Ah ma and fomfomfom brought me to the gardens today. I ran too fast and ah ma had to carry me some distance back to the car. Coz ah ma loves me and I love ah ma.

 

Stowaway to Norway

May 10th 2007 8:21 am
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It is my 3rd year and 5th month today. On this happy occasion, I received a package all the way from the united states. It is a customised car plate. It says, goddess. A tribute! Oh, countries have gone to war because of tribute demands. Peace to you, xiao papa.

Ah bee came back early today from work. Ah ma cooked up a storm. There were sharksfin soup, fish, fish and fish. The fish was good, so was the fish. And there was the fish, that was only for ah bee and fomfomfom was unhappy coz she also wanted the fish. And fomfomfom was further unhappy coz ah bee incited ah ma to scold her, and then when she tried to incite ah ma to scold ah bee, who said she wanted to burn ah ma's ugly blue blouse and ugly red blouse, it didn't work.

I watched a travel show with ah ma and ah bee and fomfomfom. It was to norway. I want to go to norway, but it would be cold so I would have to keep my hair long first. Then I'll have ah ma tie my hair up in bunches all over using ribbons so that I won't be unkempt. And there is also the problem of my passport. I don't have one. I think I'll be a stowaway to norway.

 

Shredder

May 9th 2007 8:36 am
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Ah bee keeps bugging me to go to work with her. I took MC today. I'm going to take leave tomorrow coz it's my birthday--my 3rd year and 5th month, don't knock it-- and I'll plead insanity from then onwards. I can earn my keep by working as a shredder, there are lots to shred where ah bee works, but I would rather stay at home and play with ah ma and go the gardens and meet up with all my friends. The economy will just have to hum along without my contribution.

I went on an excursion today. Ah ma brought me to see my mama! Mama was nervous to see me, and she kept drooling so I didn't want to stress her. I played neck-to-neck with my sister and sniff-my-backside with my brother. It was astonishing.

But then it rained and I didn't get to go to the gardens. So ah ma brought me to our own garden to bark at passers by and I didn't want ah ma to carry me coz I'm a big girl already so I ran out to my lookout and i went squish squish squish.

Small yellow fishes taste quite quite wonderful.

 
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