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Melmel smells wonderful

March 5th 2008 8:28 am
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I wasn’t happy today. There were three things that upset me. First, I waited 5 hours to go to the gardens. I thought that we were going when Fomfomfom and Ah bee changed. But they went out without me. It started raining soon after they came back. We went only after Ah bee got back from her class. Coz Cha wasn’t around. Which brings me to the second thing I’m unhappy about.

Cha was supposed to buy me honey chicken coz she had an open position and so she couldn’t bring me to the gardens. Then she had the audacity to come home without my chicken. So I ate her chicken for dinner. Soya sauce chicken. I like. And she’s not supposed to scold me today coz she let me down twice. Lalala.

It was terribly lonely at home today and that’s the third reason why I was unhappy. Ah bee was out the whole afternoon and Cha went out at about 4. Fomfomfom was out for a couple of hours too. But the thing that upset me terribly is that Ah gong and Ah ma disappeared for a good half of the day. I didn’t get my belly rubs and Ah gong didn’t watch tv with me. Sigh.

But luckily they came home in the end. With two visitors in tow. I understand that the man is my Ah ma’s uncle and the woman is his wife. So that makes him my great granduncle. But he’s younger than my Ah ma. Hmm.

Like I was saying, I love having people over. I was so excited when they came back I forgot how miserable I was the whole day. I bounced about showing them around. And I kept licking them. My great grand uncle wanted to carry me but they said I’d bite. Silly. I won’t bite if he doesn’t carry me the wrong way. They left really quickly though and while we were waiting for Ah ma and Ah gong to come back, the three of them taught me how to squeeze myself through the grille. So stupid. I’ve known how to do that since I was 2 months old.

I also got my belated Valentine gift from my sigui. Kiss kiss sigui!


I don't quite like the Cat Mountain King

March 4th 2008 8:47 am
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I had to wash my belly after my walk today because it was wet at the gardens. And then I had to take a bath in the evening because Ah ma doesn’t have time for it tomorrow. So I was wet for almost the whole day. Brr.

Just now at dinner Ah bee was holding a duck bone and I was licking it. Then KIAK I bit the bone in half. They were so shocked and wanted to pry my mouth open to remove the half which was in my mouth. But I was already happily chewing on it and they didn’t dare make a move in case I choked. So I chewed and chewed and then it was gone. Yummmmmmy! But Cha scolded me coz she said that the bone will tear the insides of my stummy if I didn’t chew on it properly. Silly. Of course I did. That thing was how tasty. I wish I had more.

Ah bee stole my milkstick so we got into a quarrel. Things got a little heated and everyone gathered to watch us. Of course she lost. So I picked up my milkstick and went to complain to Ah ma. I hope she cuts her allowance. Serves her right for bullying me.

Fomfomfom and I we have a new game to play. It involves her holding my paw and shaking it vigorously. Then I would look at her disapprovingly and slowly remove my paw from her grip. And then we repeat.


The nasi lemak that turned bad

March 3rd 2008 8:24 am
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There are now two si dong xis at the gardens. Oh what a bloody idiot.

Ah ma is so so crabby today and Fomfomfom bore the brunt of it. Poor Fomfomfom, she kenas everything.

Ah bee was watering the plants at 1130pm. Because Ah gong was throwing handfuls of fertilizers around. So she was trying to dissolve those pellets. We cannot have them lying around like that; I walk around in the garden every morning and it would be disastrous if I ate one of them tiny pink pellets. You know, I’m surprised they aren’t all dead yet- he fertilizes them like I dunno every other day. Too much of a good thing isn’t always wonderful.


"See you later calculator!" Er right.

March 2nd 2008 8:36 am
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We spent the entire afternoon watching the Lydia Sum Memorial Ceremony. It’s very sad you know. Everyone shed tears. I know Ah ma did. And she even watched the repeat telecast at night and cried somemore. I wanted to bring tissues to her but I can’t reach them coz I’m too short.

Mas Selamat is really short too. He’s the fella who escaped from the detention centre. He’s only 158cm tall; that’s like Ah ma’s height. And Ah ma is a short woman. So yes, he’s terribly short. They haven’t caught him yet. Maybe he’s hiding in a spider hole like Saddam was.

I had rice, fish and deu dor for dinner. Xp is a happy camper.

And Fomfomfom ate half a chicken for supper. You should have seen her.


Ahhhh deu dor.....

March 1st 2008 8:37 am
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Lemme tell you about the detox regime that Fomfomfom is on. Her sinseh told her that she must avoid caffeine, wheat, fried foods and er two other things which I forgot. And today Ah ma cooked those yellow noodles. Made of wheat. Which she can’t eat. But she wasn’t about to tell Ah ma about it. So she went out and bought a whole chicken for lunch. And her noodles? Ah bee had to eat them. On top of her own share. And you know the way my Ah ma cooks; her portions are huge. So poor Ah bee, she had those noodles for lunch, dinner and supper. No wonder she looked like she was going to throw up.

I love deu dor. I really do. I ate Fomfomfom and Ah bee’s. And when Fomfomfom tried to eat one, I carebear stared her until she removed it from her mouth and gave it to me. Yummy.

Cha is now known as the Champion Mokeeto Killer.


We're not as weird as we sound

February 29th 2008 8:42 am
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Cha says she has an ulcer in her mouth and it’s making her foot hurt. What’s not to get?

I caught Ah gong and Ah ma watching cartoons together just now.

Ah bee twisted her neck just now while doing stretching exercises with Fomfomfom. Orh bi.

And I know why Ah bee got a shock when she saw Fomfomfom with the gooey stuff on her face the other time. It’s hideous. It’s so hideous I had to bark at her. But she didn’t go wash it off like I told her to. So I went to bed. I couldn’t bear to look at her. And I didn’t get my goodnight kiss from her. Coz she had all that stuff on her face. Absolutely hideous.

Oh lemme tell you about Merrilyn and her flowers. She’s so cute I tell you. Ah ma had a pot of flowers in the prime spot on the porch. Merrilyn had the flowers removed from the pot and she planted her own flowers in that pot. Ah ma’s flowers- dying yes but still!- are somewhere in the corner of the garden now. Merrilyn has absolute control over the garden now. I wonder if she’s making progress with her bitter gourd.



February 28th 2008 8:45 am
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Something huge happened. The leader of the JI militant network escaped while in custody in a detention centre. He’s a very dangerous man- he wanted to crash an airplane into our Changi airport. Thus began a massive manhunt for him. There were so many soldiers and policemen stationed around the area near the facility. In fact, the papers said that thousands of military personnel were mobilized. Ah bee didn’t know what had happened and she had even wanted to stop one of the soldiers to ask him what had happened. I am so glad she didn’t; they would probably gun her down considering how tense the situation is now. The police even came by our neighbourhood in the evening, which is a 5 minute drive from the detention centre, to distribute flyers with his mug shot. When we went to the gardens, I was a little scared coz the fugitive might be hiding in the bushes somewhere. Fomfomfom said it’s okay; she can take him on since he’s unarmed and walks with a limp. We didn’t see Magic and Diva and I was a little worried because they live even nearer to the facility than us. I told Fomfomfom that she should call the police in case the fugitive took Sister YY hostage. She says Sister YY would probably yak his ears off. But he’s so dangerous I’m afraid he would just stab her to shut her up. Luckily when we were on our way back, we saw Sister YY & Co. Phew. No need to call the police.

We were outside at the porch just now and I sneezed three times in succession. It was really loud and I gave everyone a fright. And then two police vans roared by with their flashing lights. I wonder where they were headed. He’s probably fled to Indonesia by now but I will keep my eyes wide open. We must all do our duty and be vigilant in times like this.

All this excitement is keeping me awake.


What can $28 buy you?

February 27th 2008 8:30 am
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Ah ma was really crabby today. And Ah gong kept pissing everyone off. Fomfomfom is very pleased with herself. Cha kept going out without me. Merrilyn was really busy moving her flowers from the ground into pots. And Ah bee was exceptionally hungry.

Me? I smell wonderful. I am sure to give Cha a headache tonight.


I did a raindance, that's why.

February 26th 2008 8:48 am
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It rained for the first time in weeks last night. Cha woke me up so that I can keep her company and together we listened to the rain fall. You know, just in case the roof leaks. I am very happy it rained. The plants at the gardens were starting to wilt already.

Melmel gave me a fright just now. I think it’s coz I haven’t seen him in a long time. He came straight for me and kept wanting to sniff my backside. I was scared so I kept running from him. But he kept chasing me. Melmel is actually the gentlest one around but still he’s a big dog so we’re scared of him. He can just take one bite at me and I’ll be finito. One can never be too careful.

Fomfomfom says that I am the sole recipient of her love. I am afraid I cannot say the same. Because the only person I love deeply is my Ah ma.

Because dogs are like humans and machines.



The Flash in the flesh

February 25th 2008 9:03 am
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I almost fought with a little terrier just now. I wasn’t scared of him but he just kept coming closer and closer and I wanted to tell him to back off so I growled at him. And then he growled back. And we went at each other. Lucky for him, Ah bee picked me up by my harness immediately. I would have eaten him up. Cha scolded me when she heard that I almost got into a fight at the gardens. But it wasn’t my fault. Really.

There is now a new rule in the house. Every door and window is to be kept shut after 7pm coz we don’t want that bat to come into the house anymore. No one forgot coz Ah bee kept bugging everyone to close everything. She managed to freak herself out by looking at information on bats online last night. And she was so terrified she asked Fomfomfom if she could sleep with her. Fomfomfom told her too bad and shut the door in her face. One day I will catch a few lizards and put them in her bed, Ah bee says. Then just now when Ah bee said she was hungry, Fomfomfom told her to go eat a grilled bat. Tough love here. Very tough.

And just now they got into a debate about whether hens can lay eggs without the cock. Fomfomfom informed Ah bee that the cock only comes into the picture when the eggs are to be fertilized so that they can hatch into little chicks. Ah bee wasn’t convinced. She says all that has to be done is for the hen to sit on the eggs and hatch them. So Fomfomfom told her to go sit on a couple of eggs and see if they’d hatch. You know, if Ah bee’s right, I would go sit on a couple of them chicken eggs myself and hatch a few little chicks of my own. Then they will have to call me Mama. That would be fun.

Thanks for the star Lexie and Buddy Grau!

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