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Hama hama

September 5th 2007 10:04 am
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Apparently, Trouble is in trouble now. That rich bitch has got suits going her way; everyone wants a piece of her USD12mil. It’s disgraceful you know. Those greedy greedy people. Shame on them. Preying on a little doggie. Shame on them. Pui!

We met this local artiste in the gardens today. She was with her children, Sage and Parsley. She said, “Oh what a sweet doggie!” Thank you, thank you very much.

Just now when I was outside with Ah bee, I spied a maomao. So I darted down and Ah bee came chasing after me. I didn’t catch the kitty but we didn’t go back empty-handed. Ah bee saw that there snails on the grass and she was so amazed. She started counting the number of snails and she stopped at 15. It was really mind-boggling. Where did them snails come from? Where were they going? Why are there so many of them? Do they do this every night? Ah bee and I, we were so excited. She lined two of them snails in front of me and I sniffed at them. I wanted to be friends with them so I gingerly picked them up with my teeth and kept them in my mouth. One at a time. Don’t you all worry, I didn’t hurt them; I merely kept them in my mouth. The only thing was their shells got a little wet. When I spat them out, Ah bee picked them up and returned them to their mummies. Oh, and we saw a toad too. I sped down the steps to chase the toad and Fomfomfom screamed for Ah bee to go chase me because she is terrified of all reptiles. Well, technically they aren’t reptiles; they’re amphibians I think but Fomfomfom, she’s scared of them too. I love the garden. Isn’t it wonderful how one square patch of grass supports so much life? I shall make it a point to observe the snails every night from now on.

 

Ping Ping Pao Pao Pha!

September 4th 2007 10:26 am
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I went to the gardens at 330pm today because I overspent yesterday. The parking at the gardens is free for the first hour before five so I had to go before that. Usually I cannot take advantage of that because it would be too hot at 3 in the afternoon. But it was perfect today- it looked like it was going to rain and I didn’t have money so we went way early. Perfect.

Ah ma is a little crabby today and has been for the past few days. Everyone stayed out of her way except Ah bee. Because Ah ma wasn’t crabby to Ah bee. She even left her food so that she would have something to stuff her face with after class. Ah ma may be crabby but there aren’t many like her around.

Even I got scolded today. I was in the room with her and I barked to get her to open the door for me to go out. She grudgingly did and after a short stint downstairs, I went up and barked at her to get her to open the door once again. I decided that I wanted out again and so I barked again. That was when Ah me threw me out of the room and that was the last I saw of her tonight.

But it is okay. I forgive her. Because I lub Ah ma.

 

La pluie

September 3rd 2007 9:50 am
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It means the rain in French. Ah bee got a postcard from Italy today and half of it was in French. Cha and Fomfomfom were reading the postcard but they didn’t understand half of it. Serves them right for reading others’ stuff. I didn’t offer to translate for them coz that would be wrong. I was a good gal and I waited until Ah bee got home and I read it together with her.

So I was saying, the rain. It started raining after lunch and did not let up till 530pm. I was plenty upset but I finally got to go at 6pm when Ah bee dragged herself home from class. I told Fomfomfom that I wanted to take a nice long walk coz it was really cool and I wouldn’t tire out so easily. My wish was her command. So we walked. We walked twice as long today. It wasn’t until they turned on the lamps at the gardens that Ah bee decided it was way too late and we should really be heading home. I told Fomfomfom I like the gardens when it’s dark and I suggested spending the night there. We can hide behind the trees when it’s midnight so they wouldn’t catch us when they close the gardens. And we’ll leave at 5am when the gardens open. I thought it was a brilliant idea but apparently I was the only one who thought so. Anyway, when we got home, everyone was worried and they thought something had happened. *giggles* it was just that I was playful and wanted to stay out longer.

 

Ah gong dong dong dong!

September 2nd 2007 10:17 am
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I think my Ah gong is mad. He has this thing about his blood pressure and he keeps taking his measurements. I dunno, at least 20 times a day. I’m not kiddin’. At least. And he has 2 machines. He sat Cha down to take hers last night because he thought that the new one she bought for him was malfunctioning. Then just now, he started telling Ah bee about the WHO standard of readings. That’s obsessive behaviour too. And the first thing to fixing that is to recognize the problem. He doesn’t seem to realize it.

Even more incredible, no, make that incredulous- he told Cha to buy him supper from Newton just now. Pray tell, why does a man obsessed with his blood pressure want supper from Newton?

Silly old man aside, I met many friends at the gardens today. We saw Magic and Diva, a stupid Shih Tzu in drag, a Cocker Spaniel and a couple other random big dogs. It was really crowded at the gardens and I absolutely love it there.

Sho happy!

 

Sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never- hurt me

September 1st 2007 12:11 pm
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Lynn yiyi messaged Ah bee to tell her that Daniel Wu is at the Expo filming. Ah bee immediately told Fomfomfom as Daniel Wu was the object of her fantasies. Fomfomfom’s, not Ah bee’s. Anyway, I say was because she sort of gave up hope; she concluded that Daniel likes the tall leggy types ala Maggie Q and Lisa S. I told her that she shouldn’t throw in the towel so soon. The first thing she should do is to start calling herself Fom K. There must be something in the name that turns Daniel on. He liked the only two women who go by the initials of their surnames. Fom K is the way to go.

We met Vivian and his family at the gardens just now. Vivian as in Balakrishnan. Yes, that Vivian. His wife is really pretty and we didn’t even realize he was around because we were all staring at his wife. His baby said, “Doggie!” and he said, “Yes doggie!” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me coz like I said, I was looking at his wife.

But I digress. This entry is about names, not wives. So let’s talk about his name. Vivian. I don’t think I know any guys called Vivian. Neither does Fom K. She asked Ah bee and Ah bee said, “Same reason why Sharon Arafat is called Sharon lor.” Sigh. I don’t even want to talk about it.

Fom K went to Wendy’s house just now to look at her new puppy and also to celebrate their birthdays (Wendy is 27 and the puppy is 2 months old). The puppy is a little black Schnauzer and her name is- brace yourself- Bling-Bling. Bling-Bling?!?!?

 

Diet diet

August 31st 2007 11:05 am
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I went to the vet today. I got my backside squeezed and my ears looked at. Fomfomfom says that I have a mushroom farm in my right ear. Technically she’s wrong coz those are bacteria in my ear, not fungi. I know coz I had to do a culture today at the vet’s. Anyhow, I am back on ear drops twice a day. I knew I shouldn’t have said that my ears are clean yesterday.

I have news to break to all of you. I am now 50g shy of 6kg. I know I know, I put on about 400g. They kept calling me Xu Pang Niu that I refused to eat anything after I came back from the vet’s. And I didn’t. All the way till past midnight. Then Ah bee gave me meat from her chicken wings and I caved in. And I ate my kibble after that. I think I overate. Now I know how my sigui feels.

 

Those were the days..

August 30th 2007 10:11 am
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Fomfomfom started reminiscing about my past. For those of you who are unaware, I was taken away from my Sugar mummy, brothers and sister when I was a month old. The first few days I was here, they didn’t know that I should have milk so they didn’t give me milk. Incredible I know. And I ate only kibble for the longest time. And I missed my mother so badly I cried for a couple of nights. Then Ah ma came home with Ah bee and she hated me. She said I stank and bathed me 4 times in 4 days. She didn’t talk to me like she does now and she would scold me all the time. But it was okay. I love Ah ma and it was unconditional. Slowly, I won Ah ma over and now she loves me as much as I love her. Kiss kiss Ah ma.

For a long time I was confined to the house. I didn’t get to go out to the garden to welcome the passers-by for some time. And I only got to walk around the estate when Ah ma was out playing mahjong. My ears were funky for many many moons and I had to endure the numerous vet visits and cleaning sessions. It was after three years they discovered the botanical gardens. I used to sleep in the living room by myself, with only my toys and a shoebox for company.

It wasn’t easy but I made it here now. I get to go to the gardens everyday and play with my friends. I get nutritious meals prepared lovingly every day. My ears are clean and my Ah ma, what more can I say about my Ah ma. She gives me so many belly rubs that her arms are all sore. I sleep with Cha in her room at night. Fomfomfom brings me out to sun/moon tan everyday and Ah bee and I, we go crazy playing games at night.

And I only have to bathe once a week now.

 

Whatever!

August 29th 2007 9:26 am
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I have myself a new collar. It is neon pink and yellow. I like it a lot. It’s the most vogue colour this season and it doesn’t hurt that every colour is my colour. There is also another reason why I like the collar- the bell is very soft. So when I move really slowly, no one can hear me. It’s like my invisible cloak. So I tiptoed around the house and no one knew where I was. Then Ah ma and Cha decided that it is too risky and so I had to wear my old collar. But Cha didn’t remove the new one so I was wearing two collars. I kinda liked that too- one can never do with too much bling. It was, sadly, too heavy for me to be wearing 2 collars and so I had to give the new one up.

Fomfomfom was at Wernie’s house just now and she had Rusty in her arms. Until he started screaming and wriggled out of her hold. The gate was open and he darted out of the house in a flash. Fomfomfom and Wernie had to chase him for quite a while and it was only when he tired out that he walked back to Wernie. She promptly scooped him up and dealt him a couple of swift hard blows on the backside. Ouch. And so Fomfomfom came home with a shirt full of his fur and utterly wasted because of the unexpected run.

Have you all heard? Helmsley, this billionaire in the States, died and left her doggie USD$12 million. I think she’s the richest doggie in the world. I only get 50cents a day for my allowance and I spend most of that in the gardens. But it’s okay because I have my Ah ma and Ah ma is worth the sky to me. We should all be contented and happy like me. Remember, colour is emptiness and emptiness is colour. It is only when you can see the world in black and white like me that you will achieve erm.. fullness.

Whatever!

 

Wet wet day

August 28th 2007 11:11 am
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The sky went krong krong today. It started pouring at about noon and didn’t let up till hours later. It was really heavy and many roads along Bukit Timah were flooded. This Tuscani stopped in the middle of the road and caused a jam. You see people, Korean cars. They are no good. They stall when it rains. And Japanese cars, they go up in flames when you drive them into walls. That is why I say everyone should drive a Volvo. It’s hardy. You can’t go wrong with it. It’s not pretty but still prettiness is not everything. You have to be alive before you can be pretty. Dead people. Not pretty.

Fomfomfom is worried that water will go into the exhaust pipe and the cars will be no more coz she saw that the huge canal outside our house is overflowing. So I told her to park the cars, backside to backside, then I will stand in the middle and stick my paws into the exhaust pipes to cork them up. I said loudly that I will only leave my work station when the water level retreats. Fomfomfom was so touched she praised me for being a good gal. It really really doesn’t take much.

 

Dah-ling!

August 27th 2007 10:59 am
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They call me their little monster. I’m no monster. Just because I demand to be fed kibble by kibble, 3 times a night doesn’t make me a monster. The fact that I take an hour to get ready for bed, because I have to eat, drink water, pee pee, wipe my mouth, eat somemore, drink more water, refuse to pee anymore, wipe my mouth, doesn’t make me a monster. And chewing on the sheepskin doesn’t make me a monster either. If anything, they should call me their little darling. I’m such a darling. I know.

 
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