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Pudding and pie

September 12th 2009 11:30 am
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I did a Georgie Porgie today.

I kissed the girls - the hairy girl, her maid, Eliza's friend's brother who looks like a girl (so he counts as a girl too), and his maid. *beams* But I didn't make them cry. They laughed most happily.

The only person who cried was Nicky. And he cried twice too. I'm not sure why he did but maybe I should have kissed him too.

 

No prizes

September 11th 2009 12:33 pm
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for guessing who is too busy watching Taiwanese news to give me a belly rub.

But I forgive her. It is not often she finds something she's so passionate about. It's important to have passion; I know all about passion.

And if you don't have one, maybe you can try eating some deu dor.

 

A birthday without cake.

September 10th 2009 8:56 am
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We met Eliza and her siblings at the playground. She asked Ah bee, why does Sushi have such big teeth? Ah bee told her, all the better to eat sushi with. She frowned and asked, will she eat me? Maybe, Ah bee replied. She looked genuinely horrified.

What I would really like to sink my teeth into, is a slice of banana cake, since it is my monthly birthday. Alas, there was no cake. And no deu dor in lieu of cake.

I need to speak to someone about this. It's unacceptable.

 

Where's Fomfomfom?

September 9th 2009 11:09 am
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Fomfomfom gathered up her bags and bade me a teary goodbye. She is going to see the sheep and the cows without me. The good news is she'll be back in less than a week.

I hope she brings me a sheep.

 

Bandits, murderers and other felons

September 8th 2009 8:54 am
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Today the security guard asked me if I wanted to adopt a dog. Someone in the condo is moving away but he hasn't included his dog in his wretched plans.

In my fantasy, I will shoot him, and draw and quarter him, then tar and feather him and then sell him in the market as pig feed. And then I will run away and hide coz no doubt he is toxic and will cause the next deadly pandemic. And the nice government men will track the source down and burn down his bloody new house coz it's ground zero. But that's ok coz his doggie won't be in it.

 

My new computer

September 7th 2009 8:00 am
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Fomfomfom bought one of those netbooks that are all the rage. It's for me to write my diary entries and I must say it's just the right size.

 

At home with Ah ma

September 6th 2009 6:52 am
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We went to the groomers this morning. Evan doesn't work there anymore so Jane took over. She's not too sure what my usual is, so I ended up with a much bushier tail and she shaved the hair on my upper lip. Fomfomfom and Ah bee said I look like Hitler, the other way. I'm not sure what they mean by that but they assured me I am still beautiful

Then we went home. It feels so good to be at home where everything is familar. We bumped into the hairy girl downstairs and she has discovered her running legs. And Amanda seemed to have grown much taller in these 10 days or so. Amazing how fast they grow.

 

Stupid neighbours suck

September 5th 2009 9:25 am
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The neighbours above us have been very un-neighbourly for a few days now. There's a constant noise like they're pushing their dinner table from one end of the house to another. We can't even begin to imagine whatever on earth it is they're doing. And it's 1130 at night and they're still at it.

We're almost going to go and knock on their door to politely tell them to resume shifting their furniture about tomorrow at 9am.

 

Long hair

September 4th 2009 7:47 am
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Cha keeps washing my backside every morning after my walk and poop. She says it's just in case my poop sticks to my fur. And then fomfomfom would wake up and go, who gets her backside washed every morning?

It's so insulting. I need a haircut fast.

 

Incompetent

September 3rd 2009 7:54 am
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Fomfomfom opened the door today to see 3 policemen and a security guard. So she opened her mouth and gave them all a tongue lashing. It's just that we had become suspects in the case of a missing/ kidnapped dog. Apparently, a rubbish truck driver had given the security guard fomfomfom's carplate number and said she was the dognapper.

Only of course she wasn't. Our car was in the parking lot at the time of the alleged crime. I was snoozing and fomfomfom was mopping the floor around me. The guard and an employee of the distraught owner had already come into the house earlier for a look-see and had found no dog. We were still seething when the policemen knocked an hour later.

We threw them all out on their collective ear and told them to for goodness' sakes develop some brains and check the footages of all those cameras all over the place in this very high class condo. If it won't nail the culprit, at least it would eliminate us as suspects.

We think the policemen were just doing their job and the ultimate incompetent fool is the security guard. And the final touch to this farce--the carplate number given by the witness wasn't even ours.

 
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