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November 21st 2007 7:45 am
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Ah ma said I look like a stray kitten. A stray! And a kitten at that. And then she went on to call me lazy and useless. She said I don’t know how to clean up after myself, how to eat my food myself, how to wipe my mouth, bathe myself, clean my own ears. The only thing I know how to do, according to her, is to lick my nose. That Ah ma, she can’t even lick her nose. She’s just jealous I know. And I know she loves me all the same. She gives me the longest belly rubs, even when her arms are aching. I heart my Ah ma deep deep.


Got onions no carrot

November 20th 2007 9:07 am
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We met Phoebe in the gardens today. I haven’t seen her in a really long time, maybe months. She didn’t have to vacuum the house nor did she have to look after the baby today so she could come out to take a walk. Phoebe is really tiny for a Beagle- she still looks like a puppy when she’s only a year younger than me. But again, everyone mistakes me for a puppy too. All the time. I can’t help it. I’m too cute. Fomfomfom said I look like something exploded in my face. Ah bee screamed, “Cuteness!” Fomfomfom was referring to my luscious locks but I really do prefer Ah bee’s version.


What's your poison

November 19th 2007 9:40 am
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I didn’t have an appetite for lunch today coz I didn’t poop yesterday. Space was a little tight. But the good news is that I shate twice my normal amount today. And so I had space for dinner. A heavy dinner. Burp!

Ah bee and Fomfomfom were talking about Amy Winehouse. And then they moved on to talk about addictions, what of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and coffee. Ah bee asked Fomfomfom if she’s addicted to anything. Fomfomfom hugged me and said, “Only this one.”



Merrilyn is my best friend

November 18th 2007 11:49 am
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I didn’t get to go out today. It krong krong-ed the whole day. I was plenty upset. And so constipated. It wasn’t all that bad though- I had emperor’s chicken for dinner tonight. It was tender, it was tasty. It was wonderful. I should have this everyday. Fomfomfom was feeling all nostalgic- Ah gong used to buy this a long long time ago. Ah bee said nostalgia is when Ah gong goes out to buy fish head bee hoon, bringing along our own tin container for it. I’m not old enough to get nostalgic about anything.

Cha had another wedding to go to today. She said she has another one on Thursday. Ah bee asked who’s getting married. Ping Ping, Cha said. I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS GETTING MARRIED ON THURSDAY. No one told me. I must write it down somewhere lest I forget.

When Cha was on her way out, Ah ma and Ah gong asked her where she was going. She said to a classmate’s wedding. It was envy I saw in their eyes.


Woof woof! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiii! Woof woof!- Eeeeeeeeeooooooooow! *repeat*

November 17th 2007 10:43 am
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I was out in the garden today. I watched for a really long time but there weren’t any dogs. I was a little bored and so I started barking at nothing in particular. It was fun. I’m sure everyone in the neighbourhood heard me. Then this little girl from across the street, came out from her house and started screaming after me. I would bark and then she would scream. Together, we destroyed the tranquility of a lovely Saturday evening.


Zhai na ni?

November 16th 2007 9:46 am
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We went to the gardens early today coz Cha had another wedding to go to. Sandy yiyi came over to play with me before going to the hotel together with Cha. So happy, I haven’t had friends over in a long time. Pity they left real soon. And without me. I told Cha that I wanted to go too; I’d wear my brand new suit there. I wanted to say gongxigongxi to Zhen yiyi. But they didn’t wait for me. So I stayed home to welcome passers-by.

No cartoons tonight. What a let down.


I have arrived

November 15th 2007 8:16 am
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I got myself a new suit today. It’s a present from Ah bee’s pak tor. Actually, it looks more like a coat. It’s really pretty and everyone loves it. I think my old Tigger suit will have to retire; it’d be worn only for Halloween and The Wildlife Stampede. Other formal occasions, I will wear this new one from Coach. Much more befitting of my status as queen.


The Hamburglar

November 14th 2007 8:41 am
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I couldn’t find Fomfomfom last night so I woke her up at 9 this morning. I think I know what is wrong with Fomfomfom. I think it’s the sinseh, or rather what the sinseh told her to do. She was supposed to tape a vial of water to her deep v and knock her meridian points together 99 times in 15 minute intervals for, I dunno, 2 hours or something. Very outlandish but it made Fomfomfom scurry to the toilet 5 times today; she wasn’t in pain though. I reckon this is the best way to clear the system. Works better than laxatives anyway. Pretty powerful stuff if you ask me.

Random ramblings:

1.) There’s Pringles in the fridge. I do not understand why there are chips in the fridge. What I do understand is that potato chip tastes good. That is all I need to understand.

2.) Ah ma wants to spank the little mouse in thee cartoon again. So naughty. Ah ma, not the mouse.

3.) Cha locked in the toilet today. And switched the lights off too. She needs to be spanked.


20 tonnes of cuttlefish

November 13th 2007 12:07 pm
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We met my attacker at the gardens today. He was far far away. And far far away he stayed. That’s fine by me.

And Fomfomfom really almost fainted today. I think she’s very sick. I didn’t hear from her for the longest time. I knocked on her door but she didn’t answer. Yes, a very ill woman that Fomfomfom. I shall kiss kiss her tomorrow to make her feel better.


Remember the dog that looked like it eats little dogs for- breakfast?

November 12th 2007 8:13 am
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Well he tried to eat me today. I was kissing Melmel and he suddenly lunged at me. There was no time to react. If he hadn’t been muzzled, that would have been the end of me. No more. I was so terrified I let out a yelp. And Queen Ping doesn’t yelp. Then Melmel joined in the fray. Cha said he was trying to protect me but from where Fomfomfom was standing, it was just a horrific mess. Methinks she would have fainted if not for the fact that her maternal instinct told her to protect me first. I was so scared I didn’t want to walk anymore so we came back home. I got plenty of lovin’ and I’ve sort of forgotten about it already. But I don’t think any of them will forget this. And no one should.

My Ah yi mama from HK came today. So did the mahjong gals. I also went to the vet. But really, these are insignificant in light of the attack.

I need something to calm my nerves. And them.

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