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Dor-zhai dor-zhai where art thou?

May 2nd 2008 11:13 am
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Wernie came twice today. She and Fomfomfom, they were due to meet some ex-colleagues for lunch but because they are stingy, they went in one car. I like having Wernie over. I can always smell Belle and Rusty on her. I haven’t seen Rusty in years; I still remember him and his watermelon stummy. I think he probably lost the watermelon stummy together with his dor-zhai.

We met Chipchip and Melmel in the gardens today after I pooped. Melmel was sniffing my backside as usual. After a few sniffs, he opened his mouth and licked my backside with that huge tongue of his. Everyone was horrified especially Fomfomfom and Cha who knew that I had just pooped. *giggles* But no one said it out loud though; we didn’t want to embarrass him. *giggles*


Labour day

May 1st 2008 7:50 am
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The gardens is always exceptionally busy on public holidays. We met 6 dogs the moment we got out of the car. I knew it was going to be a good day.

And it was. We met a maomao today. I’ve been searching for this elusive maomao for a long time now. Actually I am not sure if this one is the one I saw the other time but really who cares. Maomaos are fungible. Anyway, so we saw the maomao and the maomao saw us. Ah bee said hello to it and it started walking towards us. So Ah bee picked me up. No, I’m not afraid of that maomao. I can certainly take care of myself but you know how protective mothers are. Anyway, it was following us and for a while they were wondering if it would follow us home. Luckily it didn’t. We have no room for a maomao in this house. Not when I am head of the household.



April 30th 2008 9:06 am
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We didn’t walk around the pond today, like we usually do. Fomfomfom took one look and decided that it was way too hot. So we hung around my favourite plants. And who knew that the shade provided by the creaky tree would be so useful. The creaky tree is huge and its shadow, huger. We played catching there on the field coz we had time to kill. Ah bee started running away from me and I couldn’t resist chasing her. It was really fun. Fomfomfom says we should do it again, whenever there aren’t anyone on the field. Maybe we can bring her balls along and try to play fetch, she says. The operative word being “try” of course.

I got angry with Ah bee just now because she refused to give me some of her dinner. I’m so sick of this diet thingy. Yesterday, I tried to get a little of that chicken wings Ah ma fried but no one would give me any. I only found some crumbs on the floor. They tried to stop me from eating those but finders keepers I say. Two months. It hasn’t even been a week yet. Oh my goodness, yes it hasn’t even been a week yet.

I feel faint.


I lub my Ah ma.

April 29th 2008 9:54 am
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She told them not to let me outta her room lest I mope the afternoon away downstairs on my own again. She knows that I would just go to bed whenever I am in her room with her. And time would pass more quickly for me that way. She is right. She let me out when I ah-chooed at her though; I was never held in captive. I can’t say the same about the poor Austrian woman with her very sick father. That is incredible. I hate to generalize but what’s with all the underground dungeons in Austria? Unbelievable.

Anyway, back to my tale about my Ah ma. She brought me out to the garden to welcome passers-by even though it was only three plus and it was hot. Coz she was afraid that I would be bored. Cha ran down when she heard me barking. Are you mad, she asked Ah bee accusingly. Not me, came the reply. They decided that Ah ma is a little crazy. No, she’s not. Ah ma dotes on me, that’s all.

I love Ah ma.


So. Hot.

April 28th 2008 9:56 am
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We only went to the gardens at 5.30pm today. We saw this TV crew filming near my favourite plants. A woman darted across the stone footpath, screaming. There was a man hot on her heels. She would run past the camera and the man would stop right in front of the camera for his close up. It was really quite silly. We stuck around for a while watching, but we couldn’t tell whether there was anyone famous there. We were about to continue with our walk when Ah bee spotted Hf yiyi in the distance. She was going to print something in school. I wanted to kiss her but she didn’t let me. Ah bee is supposed to let her know that I am very hurt. Yes, I am very hurt.

Anyway, later when we were on our way back to the car, we walked past the TV crew again. This time, the woman was doing her close up. There were two guys holding huge reflectors standing beside her and the camera was in her face. I wonder if she felt silly, crying or doing whatever she was supposed to do for her close up. I guess not. It wouldn’t be acting otherwise. But it sure looked silly to us.


Sweltering summer day

April 27th 2008 10:03 am
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We didn’t go to the gardens till 5. coz it was like a steambath out there. We would have gone much earlier if I had my way but no one listened to me. It was a long wait but we went in the end. There, we met a little cocker spaniel. I saw him first and I barked at him. Then he barked at me. This went on for a while. Fomfomfom and Ah bee, his owners, an elderly couple, and this family of three just kept cackling while we barked at each other. His owners said he’s only 6 months old. Fomfomfom told them that I’m four. Four, they exclaimed. They thought I was a puppy. *giggles* Anyway he’s such a baby. I bet it’s the first time he’s at the gardens. His owners had with them a tote, in baby blue no less. It looks like a diaper bag to me. They had a bottle of water and his drinking bowl with them. I bet they also have food, tissue and maybe wet wipes in that bag of theirs. You can never be too preprared. And proud grandparents they are. They remind me of my Ah ma. Kiss kiss Ah ma.


Where's my dor-zhai?

April 26th 2008 10:19 am
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Today I had a heartworm pill. You eat it so that your heart will not be infested with worms. Self-explanatory really. I eat one on the 26th of each month. Don’t ask me why the 26th; it just happened to be that way. I never thought I would be so happy to be eating a heartworm pill. I mean it’s rather tasty and all; it’s beef flavoured but it’s just one of the many things I eat, if you know what I mean. But today, today was different. Today I was happy to be eating the heartworm pill. It’s variety, considering how I have been on a kibble-only diet for the past three days. Oh how I have sunk.

Yes I am very bitter about it.


Shh your head lah shh

April 25th 2008 7:30 am
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Today Fomfomfom came back with a pan/tray of sorts. She opened it up and put my peepee-stained newspapers in there. And then they kept making that shhshh sound at me. I obviously paid no heed. Then at night, when I had to go, I went out to where they would lay newspapers for me. But there weren’t any papers there tonight. In its place was that pan. I stared at it for a really long time, not knowing what to do. I decided that they must have forgotten to lay the papers so I sat there and waited. And waited. But no one did the task. Instead, they kept pointing to the pan and making shhshh noises. It was all very frustrating. I had to go but I couldn’t possibly just pee on the floor, could I? No, I’ve long outgrown that stage. I only go on papers now. Finally after many a bigeyestaresmalleye, Cha went to get papers and lay them on the floor for me. Where they were supposed to be. Many hours ago.



Day one of my new diet

April 24th 2008 8:50 am
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Today I started on my new diet. I was hoping that I would get my chicken drumstick rice combo for lunch but it never came. I waited till about 1pm and then i couldn’t take it anymore. So I ate the kibble. For 5 times today, I ate the kibble. They were starting to wonder if the kibble might actually be tasty so Ah bee bet Fomfomfom one dress that she wouldn’t eat my new kibble. Fomfomfom now has a new dress. And she concluded that my kibble tastes like cardboard. Anything that tastes like that must be full of goodness she says. So it's kibble and plain water. All I can eat. For the next two months sans one day. Sigh.



April 23rd 2008 8:59 am
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I had a really bad day. And that is an understatement. I haven’t been so upset in a really really long time. Today really stinks. I shall go to bed immediately after writing this so that I can forget all about today.

We went to the vet. We were there for almost two hours. I hate it there; I’d start shivering way before we’re even there. That vet woman knew that I was scared and she said, “Can I traumatize her? Can I carry her?” Ah bee handed me over to her and they said bye to me, that they were going home without me. Shame on them, scaring a little baby like me.

And so I got my blood test done. That came back good. Then I got my ears checked. They are beautiful so that’s good news too. Then she looked at my skin and she decided that I might have an allergy. She told them that I will either have to go on antibiotics or a prescribed diet. They chose the latter. So that means I can only drink water, and eat the prescribed kibble for the next two months. TWO DONKEY MONTHS! I am devastated. No more tidbits, no more treats. No food off the dinner table. No nothing. But kibble and water. For two months. TWO MONTHS. I can’t get over it. Two months. Two. Months.

And then I got my backside squeezed. That is always unpleasant but I got my revenge by shitting in the vet woman’s hands. And overpowering them with the stench. Orbi.

Then she looked at my teeth and she said they should start brushing my teeth. Yeah right, like that is going to happen. Fomfomfom says she will try to do it. I guess she doesn’t like her fingers much.

They thought that they would make me happier by bringing me to the gardens straight after the visit to the vet. Turns out that there was a cross country race at the gardens and the entire place was filled with runners and people standing around. This guy who was directing the runners started screaming when he saw me. He screamed like a little gal- Small dog, I’m so scared of small dogs! Argh argh ahhhhhh!- and he was trying to run away from me when I was a good distance away from him. We just looked at him puzzled. Me and Ah bee. Fomfomfom was staring daggers at him. It was really quite unnecessary. His friends were telling him to zip it but he kept screaming. Then his team leader who saw the whole thing from somewhere else yelled at him to shut up. I hope he was embarrassed. Later, the said leader ran up to us and apologized. Fomfomfom told him that it was very rude of him to be screaming like that. He assured her that he will be disciplined. That appeased her a little.

And that wasn’t all. While we were walking, we’ve got people heckling me. I don’t know what exactly they said but I know it’s not anything nice. And the runners were just stomping the entire gardens; I couldn’t take a proper walk. We met Melmel, Chipchip and Sidongxi Number 1 and they had to hide from all the runners by waiting on the bridge. They are never on the bridge. Come to think of it, I think they’re smarter. We were walking behind the runners and believe me, the air doesn’t quite smell of flowers like it usually does at the gardens.

Later, Ah bee and Fomfomfom spotted an ex-teacher and they were quite excited. But she yelled at them to get me off the path. Believe me, she was really rude. Barking orders at us, treating us like her students. That’s unacceptable behaviour. It’s not like they owned the gardens today. Holding the race there does not give them the licence to be rude to regular garden-users. She totally pissed us off. Besides, if they wanted the gardens for their race, they should have applied for a permit to keep the gardens closed to the public. It really spoilt the day for all of us. A bunch of kids had some outing planned but they were relegated to playing in a tiny area because of the race. Poor kids.

We were in no mood to continue so we just went home. Fomfomfom was so angry she forgot to dump my poop. It was the first time we actually brought my poop home.

And I threw up at night.

I’m going to bed.

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