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Ah ma lei hai bin ah?

June 7th 2008 8:49 am
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There is no sighting of Ah ma today. I was hoping that Japan isn’t that far away but I guess I was wrong. I wanted to call Ah ma to tell her to forget about marketing and just come on home but I can’t quite reach the telephone. I can only wait.

I told Fomfomfom that I want to go swimming at the condo but she told me that people would complain. So she suggested bringing my inflatable pool there and filling it up with the water from the swimming pool. What, have you gone crazy, I asked her. My luscious locks will be damaged by the chlorine. She promptly apologized and said that she would fill my inflatable pool with water from the Alps. Or milk if you like, she offered. Half part Evian and half part boiled water would be good, I told her. Otherwise it would be too cold. And no milk. Because I will have to take a bath after my swim. I won’t like that.


The japanese market

June 6th 2008 9:33 am
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This morning, merrilyn forgot to draw the barrier across the door to the garden. I saw it but I didn't go out. I knew I wasn't supposed to go out alone, so I just sat in the living room and waited for someone to bring me out. Ah bee and ah ma praised me for being a good girl.

Then as fomfomfom drove ah bee to work, cha brought me out to the garden to bark at passersby. I barked and barked for 20 minutes. Together with the other dogs in the neighbourhood, we did a symphony. Cha didn't quite enjoy our music at 830 in the morning.

In the evening I had a premature bath. No matter how I calculated it, it hasn't been a week since the last bath! Later at night I saw ah ma go out with a big bag, she told me she was going to the market. I asked ah ma which market it was this time and ah ma said it was in japan.

I feel sad. Coz the last time I saw that bag, ah bee disappeared for 3 weeks. Today marks the end of the first week that ah bee is working. She offered to let me tax her 10% of the money she's earned. So I did, but I wasn't cheered. I miss ah ma already.


Rule of law

June 5th 2008 7:45 am
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2 days have come and gone, and I have yet to see my new schoolbag. Ah bee asked fomfomfom pointedly why she hasn't bought me my bag, and fomfomfom finally buckled under pressure and confessed. She doesn't want me to go to work with ah bee. So touched I was, I decided to give up my career and stay at home to be monopolised by fomfomfom.

Cha decided to launch an investigation into whether ah ma gave ah bee her pocket money for the month. Ah bee has started work, and is not entitled to any pocket money. The relevance is, cha will give me my 50 cents that ah bee confiscated yesterday and confiscate ah bee's pocket money, if she took it, that is. The lesson is, the arm of the law is long in this house.

Ah bee needs a punitive sentence.



June 4th 2008 8:52 am
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Ah bee was late today in leaving the house and incurred some sort of gantry fee. So she told fomfomfom to deduct that 50 cents from my allowance, leaving me with nothing for the day.

So I had to improvise. I told fomfomfom and cha to bring me to the gardens at 11am so that we won't have to pay parking.

And that's how I made it through the day without pocket money.



June 3rd 2008 8:04 am
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It was looking cloudy, so I went to the gardens at two in the afternoon with fomfomfom and cha. It was the usual stuff, pee and poo, with hardly any friends around. But there were lots of kids, it's the school hols. They were running and screaming on the grass and the workers were cutting the grass with their noisy handheld machines. Scary.

Then ah bee came back at 430 and I told her to bring me to the gardens again. So we went. And it was a real adventure this time. I saw this tortoise in the middle of the path. It must have been lost, it was so far from the pond. I barked and barked non-stop at it for 20 minutes. And all the while there was a drizzle. The tortoise was a scare-dee cat. It hid in its shell and peered at me with half opened eyes, so lazy it was. Halfway through my admonition, it turned and looked at fomfomfom. But no one could save it, no siree. I let him know exactly what I thought of him.

Once we were home ah bee kept telling me to prepare my schoolbag before I go to bed, so I can go with ah bee to work in the morning. When I finally decided to get down to it, I realised that I don't have a school bag! I was close to tears but luckily ah bee said I can have an extra day at home tomorrow and fomfomfom promised to buy me a bag tomorrow.



Ah bee goes to work

June 2nd 2008 7:20 am
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This morning everyone woke up real early. Ah bee was dressed nicely and I heard it was her first day at work. Ah ma had already informed me last night. So this morning I was up early too so that I may bless ah bee before she leaves. In my haste, I almost tumbled down the entire flight of stairs. Luckily I managed to regain my footing halfway down. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, smug over my display of that nifty footwork, I saw fomfomfom and ah bee staring at me, mouths open in horror. I told them they had nothing to worry about, I was never in any danger. Just call me nifty ping.

But that footwork is not meant for menial stuff. Like walking to the gardens. I am always driven to the gardens. Just now we were watching tv and the tv station was looking for Singapore's most eco-friendly person. Cha informed me that my little feet leave behind real big carbon footprints.

I thought about it. Carbon footprint? I'll have to ask ah ma to buy me real good quality shoes so that I won't go around leaving unsightly footprints. Carbon indeed! Pfft, that's for dirty little dogs only.


I don't want to be mummified

June 1st 2008 8:20 am
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We met a Shih Tzu in the gardens today. Her name is Mika and she is white and brown. Her owners said that I am so pretty and that my colours are beautiful. That’s coz black and white Shih Tzus are rarer than you think. Anyhow, Mika got too close to me and so I barked at her to tell her to back off. She immediately ran away from me. Fancy that! Fomfomfom and Ah bee were so tickled because no one has ever run away from me before. That means that she is even more of a tortoise egg than I am. What a baby.

There were kids having a picnic on the pathway. The adult in charge told them, “Look, a puppy! Everyone say hello to the puppy.” And so they all did. We lingered a little to play with them. I like playing with kids coz they aren’t much taller than me. I wouldn’t have to strain my neck too much this way.

Ah ma was a lot less crabby after I had my bath. She even told me that I could step all over her big tummy. Kiss kiss Ah ma.


Score one for Fomfomfom.

May 31st 2008 9:24 am
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Ah ma has her hang-ups. Things none of us get. We usually try to ignore her but sometimes you can run but you just can’t hide. Nothing works on her. Nothing but Ah bee’s dour expressions, Cha and Fomfomfom says. Ah ma simply cannot stand seeing Ah bee sulk. I’m not sure about that so I will have to observe and keep all of you updated.

In other news, Ah gong met his match in Fomfomfom. He was going on and on about how she shouldn’t be drinking lemon with her honey water. In his mistaken view, lemons are evil and one can die from eating lemons. At least that was how Fomfomfom heard him. So she threw all his cigarettes into the sink and soaked them. Cigarettes kill, not lemons, she said. He shut up after that.


Nothing much

May 30th 2008 9:27 am
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Dear Diary,

Well, nothing really special happened today. Just that I got myself another 5 grams of gold and escaped the rain at the gardens today again, but that's all in a day's work, so I shall not mention it further.

Ah bee promised to buy me orange juice, but wasn't sincere enough to drop by the supermarket so I still don't have my few tons of juice.

I know fomfomfom went out and ate chicken knee cartilage for dinner and I shan't go further coz I fear I might throw up. Of all things to eat.

Then ah ma declined to do this very difficult sudoku puzzle ah bee copied back from europe and ah gong expounded on the dangers of the lemon.

Cha went out and ate a whole table of japanese food, while I nibbled on my kibble.

My day has been so boring I fear I might fall asleep if I go on, therefore bon soir.


All in

May 29th 2008 8:16 am
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My word! Who is that I spy, with my little eye? I rummage through my database.

My stars! It is ah bee! My tail, it wags.

You know, this morning I met a shih tzu who doesn't wag his tail. He's the strong and silent type. Pity he's only 2 years old. A mere babe.

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