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I've never seen anything quite like this

November 2nd 2007 9:18 am
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We knew something was fishy when we saw that the carpark was closed. And when we went in, we saw NPCC people standing around. So Fomfomfom asked one of them gals what the deal was. She said, “Erm Wildlife Stampede.” Huh, said Fomfomfom. Er, the children are dressing up as animals, she answered. Okaaaaaaaaay.

So we took our usual route but we didn’t see no animals. Until we were at the pond and in the distance, we saw hordes of people walking in our direction. Then the band started.

Dum dum dum dum dum DA! Dum dum dum dum dum DA!

Is pretty infectious that beat. It was a procession. So many kids, with their parents. Marching to dum dum dum dum dum DA. And they were in costume. I saw cats, birds, lions, jellyfish, starfish, snakes, centipedes, tortoises, seahorses and elephants. It’s too wonderful for words. We stopped to watch them. And some of them stopped to watch me too. It took half an hour for the whole motley crew to pass us by. They disappeared without a trace after that and tranquility returned to the gardens. So we carried on our walk. But really, I can’t say how happy I was- everyone was happy and giggling and jumping around. Was such a beautiful scene. You really should have been there.

Dum dum dum dum dum DA!

 

Bewildered

November 1st 2007 10:16 am
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This is really interesting you know. I didn’t read the papers today but I overheard Ah bee and Fomfomfom talking about it. The fellas who did the Madrid bombings, they were sentenced to 40000 years of imprisonment each. 40000 years. The judges must have been very very angry. Chinese history buffs would know that our wonderful Chinese history dated back to Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors 5000 years ago. That was when demigods were the kings and everyone could fly. Aye, it was a wonderful era. And a mighty long time ago. But a mere fraction of the sentence melted out by the courts. And the best part is that under Spanish law, the maximum jailterm for anyone is 40 years. I must be missing something here.

In other news, Ah ma made walnut cake today. We haven’t had that in a long time now. The price of flour has risen 30%. Again, I must be missing something.

But I do love the walnut cake. Yummy.

 

Twit or Twit!

October 31st 2007 9:38 am
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Happy Halloween! Fomfomfom says Halloween is when you go to people and say, “Hello!” and then you’d get sweets from them. I didn’t get sweets coz I can’t have them so I got KFC instead. Not a bad deal if you ask me.

They forgot to carve my kibble so we had to improvise on the spot. They drew on a piece of tissue and used it to cover my kibble. Voila! A little ghost! And we took many pictures too.

Kuangqiekuangqiekuangqie…..

 

Black Eyed P in da house

October 30th 2007 9:10 am
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I don’t usually feel very loved by Ah gong- coz he doesn’t indulge me with bellyrubs like everyone else- but I do feel so today. I “swung” my lunch out this afternoon. And he was so concerned. Coz I puked yesterday’s lunch out too. He said this cannot go on and so Chachacha has been tasked with ensuring that I don’t jump around too much after lunch tomorrow. He suggested leashing me and tying me somewhere. That’s not going to work, I tell you. I’d just jump jump jump! And out my lunch will come!

So fun.

 

This is a long entry coz I had a long day

October 29th 2007 8:57 am
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I had a bad day. It was mahjong day, and I threw up my lunch. Ah gong was going out when he realised I was lying beside the 3 unattentive mahjong girls and a pile of regurgitated food. Fomfomfom and ah bee were horrified and they grumbled to each other, 6 ears among them and not one was working.

Then it was a visit to the vet. I had a blood test first. I was a brave girl, i didn't even flinch when they stuck the needle in my arm. I got the blue bandage, which I was unsatisfied with coz I like pink.

Then it was ear cleaning by Eric. He was rough and cleaned my ear like he was stirring soup. My ear was all red when he was done.

Next on the menu was the emptying of my anal sacs. Eric opened a new box of kleenex, put on gloves and padded his gloved hand with tissues. Like he was a lady. Like he was handling something very dirty. He doesn't know enough to lubricate his fingers. He couldn't produce much juice. 3 tries. Fom asked if he wanted to ask someone else in to do it instead. Cha said there's usually a lot of juice, so he tried 2 more times. Mumbled excuses that the juice was very deep inside. He did it 5 times! And then he said he was finished and fomfomfom was red like a beetroot. Cha was real displeased too.

Then doctor doctor told me my blood test results are perfect, that my ears have to be treated with panalog for 2 weeks, and anything else? Fomfomfom and cha said yes, then complained about the incompetent Eric who was rough and slipshod and obviously paid no heed to a dog's distress. They insisted doctor doctor check my anal sacs again. The doctor doctor was embarrassed to find that my sacs were still quite full and she knew enough to use lubricant and was gentle. She was shocked to learn that Eric didn't use lubricant.

Then fomfomfom asked for my nails to be clipped and doctor doctor said she would do it herself, coz fomfomfom threatened to throttle Eric if he so much as lay a finger on me again. Then doctor doctor said my nails were still short so only one or two were clipped.

Then we went to the gardens straight away coz everyone was so upset and I was upset and they wanted to cheer me up.

At home, fomfomfom and cha told ah ma and ah bee about the incompetent nurse and everyone was outraged. Someone suggested assassinating him on a moonless night but we're law abiding citizens.

Then the last unfortunate thing was ah ma was too tired from the mahjong to give me lovin'.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

ps. In a hollow victory, we discovered the doctor doctor didn't charge us for the anal gland expression. Take that, Eric!

 

And they keep laughing

October 28th 2007 10:45 am
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They kept laughing at me coz when I sighed just now, two lines of mucus flowed down my nose. And then they converged to form er a lot of mucus. Like they’ve never seen mucus in their lives.

And they laughed at me too when they saw how I propped my feet against the wall while I slept. And they laughed again when they thought I didn’t know they shone a torchlight on my head to look for that elusive mitemite. Of course I knew. I know everything. I just don’t let them know that.

And have I told you I hate Sundays? The TV shows are just getting longer. They used to end at 10 past midnight but now they’re pushing on one. And I can’t sleep till the show’s over. It’s waaaaaaaay past my bedtime. And I have to be up early tomorrow to welcome the mahjong gals too.

Sigh.

 

Hot and humid

October 27th 2007 10:27 am
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Today Cha asked Ah ma of what colour my belly is. Ah ma was stumped. After 4 years of rubbing my belly. It’s unbelievable. I am terribly hurt that Ah ma doesn't know as much about my belly as I know hers. I only felt slightly better when she gave me extra lovin' to make up for it.

We bumped into he rabid Shih Tzu at the gardens just now. Cha praised him for being so dignified and calm in face of my exuberance. Er, hello, he's only pretending. Why do you think he's called The Rabid Shih Tzu?

They cleaned my right ear just now because Ah ma complained that it smelt like salted fish. I know I should be angry with Ah ma but I’m not. Coz Ah ma loves me and I love Ah ma.

 

Xu Su Ping = Shih Tzu Ping, Ahammaandaguanaformymama, Laomi,- dami, ermi, sanmi and xiaomi!

October 26th 2007 10:56 am
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I was terribly upset when I couldn’t find Fomfomfom and Ah bee this afternoon. I kept going into Fomfomfom’s room to look for her coz I wanted to go to the gardens. I kept telling Cha that aliens must have beamed them away but she didn’t get what I was trying to tell her.

Luckily the aliens returned them. Even the aliens didn’t’ want them. But I didn’t get to go to the gardens until it was almost 6 coz they complained that it was too hot. Actually I will have to agree. Today is a scorcher. None of my friends were there. We did see Patch in the distance but I didn’t get to play with him. And we saw a pretty Shih Tzu too. He’s too pretty. And that is just wrong. Boys aren’t supposed to be pretty.

That stupid duck at the gardens is simply asking for it. It tried to attack me again. Ah bee was quick to scoop me up. Lucky for that duck I say. It wouldn’t want to go up against me. It would have been embarrassing. For the duck of course. One of these days.

 

Apple! Vinegar! Tomato!

October 25th 2007 10:42 am
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I’ve been sitting in front of the computer for the past 30 minutes and I can’t think of anything interesting to write. I didn’t do much today. We went to the gardens and bumped into Melmel, Chipchip and the rabid Shih Tzu. There was also this gigantic dog but he was muzzled. They say he doesn’t like small dogs. He looks like he eats small dogs for breakfast so we didn’t linger.

I had chicken wings for supper just now. They are quite quite wonderful.

Burp!

 

That innoncent sleeping posture

October 24th 2007 9:23 am
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Ah ma went out and bought a book on Shih Tzus. She was all excited and started reading the book aloud when no one was exactly listening to her. Then she would point to the pictures of the Shih Tzus in the book and comment on them.

She was so busy reading the book she didn’t pay any attention to me. So I went to sit next to Fomfomfom and sulked.

I had to take a bath just now and I bit Ah bee. Ah ma kept saying that she will beat my backside coz I did something wrong. That’s what the book says, she informed everyone.

I should just burn that book.

 
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