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Under siege

November 27th 2007 6:00 am
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I got into 2 fights today. They were necessary. I have to earn my keep in this house by protecting Ah ma. Lemme tell you about the first fight. I was in Ah ma’s toilet when I spied the intruder behind the toilet bowl. It had brown and white hair and one long limb. I don’t exactly know what it was but one can never be too careful. So I snuck up on it. It didn’t move for a long long time and I wasn’t sure if my presence had been discovered. I grew a little impatient and so I decided to act on the offence. I let out the fiercest, most bloodcurdling bark I could muster but that thing did not move. What a ninny. I bet I scared it stiff. When you have the upper hand, you must continue on the offensive without letting up. So I continued barking and barking at that thing. Until Fomfomfom came in, picked it up and started chasing me with it. I underestimated that thing- it is more powerful than I imagine. It has powers and it got Fomfomfom under its control. Through my sheer determination and will power I got Fomfomfom to drop that thing back where I found it. Everyone is to stay away from that thing until I devise a counter plan.

I was lounging in the living room when this thing with giant wings flew off the table and started flapping in the wind. This time I had to defend the house against this evil thing. It was flapping furiously and trying to get into the house while I was barking furiously at it. Then Fomfomfom emerged again and picked that thing up and chased me around the living room with it. Once again, Fomfomfom has succumbed to the evil powers. I finally got her to drop it after a while. It was exhausting.

I don’t know what this house and that weak-minded Fomfomfom will do without me.

 

Those mysterious red spots

November 26th 2007 5:47 am
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They found them mysterious red dots all over dozens of cars in our neighbourhood. Here at our house, the red spots aren’t found on cars; they’re everywhere else. On the floor, on the chairs, on Ah bee and on Fomfomfom. No one knows what they are; we’d have to wait for the nice folks at the civil defence unit to carry out their lab tests. I think that will take a mighty long time. I mean, I sent in my application for my license a long long time ago. It’s been pending since a long long time ago. I shall stop here.

Anyway, I am glad the red spots aren’t on me. Everyone would think that I contracted the measles or something and I would have to go to the vet again. I wouldn’t like that.

Since we are on the topic of ailments, let me tell you about Fomfomfom and her sinseh. Fomfomfom has been seeing this sinseh (not in the romantic sense) who has been giving her medicine and vials of water to tape to her not-so-insubstantial chest. Fomfomfom has been following her instructions most conscientiously and that has resulted in her near death experience about 2 weeks ago. But it has also saved her the agony of taking panadol every month, which gives her giant sausage lips by the way. Ah gong and Ah ma thinks that she is a quack because she prescribes both Chinese and Western medicine. And they don’t come cheap. Ah ma thinks that if the doctor asks you to go back for another appointment, he must be out to milk you dry. Fomfomfom thinks her sinseh is perfect and she wants to set up a shrine to worship her. Basically we have polarized camps here. I am not taking sides. I only know that the next time Fomfomfom goes back to the clinic, Ah ma will never know about it. It’s for the better I tell you. My poor ears are still ringing from just now.

 

Pesky kids

November 25th 2007 9:33 am
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I was real lucky to have gone to the gardens today. It started raining after lunch and the rain let up for about an hour. It was during that hour that I went to the gardens. As usual, the garden was infested with children. I didn’t see that many of them but I could sure hear them. They were loud. Children should be seen and not heard. Noisy children should not get their Happy Meals.

Yet another Sunday night Korean drama has ended its run. The next one isn’t funny like the first 3 and it looks downright tragic. Hopefully they wouldn’t be watching this one. I don’t like Sunday night Korean dramas. They deprive me of lovin’. And my sleep.

 

Was hot.

November 24th 2007 8:57 am
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We went to pick Ah ma up today. There we met a little Shi Tzu. She’s just a baby, only a year old. But she looks very different. She’s brown in colour, and she’s got them brown eyes, brown nose and brown lips. I’ve never seen a Shih Tzu like her. She reminds me of a monkey somehow. Most strange.

Cha threatened to throw me out of her room if I try pulling what I did last night again. I don’t think she understands what’s going on here. That room is mine and she’s only allowed in there coz she has to wait on me. That woman doesn’t know her place.

 

I was a naughty gal today.

November 23rd 2007 8:18 am
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I demanded to be fed twice for supper, refused to sleep and gave poor Chachacha eyebags. They gave in coz I look so darn cute. Ah bee threatened to shave me so I’d look like a little mouse once again. I know she’d never bear to do that. *giggles* I don’t play fair but it’s okay. Janice yiyi taught me that the world belonged to the beautiful. The world belongs to me.

Ah bee wants to cook for everyone tomorrow. I am not too sure what is on the menu but I overheard something about peanut butter bee hoon (dry) and preserved vegetables pancakes. Then everyone muttered something about eating out. For once I am glad I’m not having what they are having.

 

La plus mignonne!

November 22nd 2007 4:50 am
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I had a haircut today. We had special instructions for Evan- Ah ma doesn’t like my mousey look anymore; so it’s ke ai xing for me. Ke ai xing is the same as the mousey look except that I get to keep my moustache. And no more butterflies for ears. Other than that, everything else is the same. But do not be misled; I assure you that the moustache makes all the difference in the world. I’m so cute I can’t stand myself. No one will dare call me a stray kitten anymore.

Turns out that there are more Ping Pings in this world than I am comfortable with. I would go congratulate that other Ping Ping but I thought I better not. What with my lovely coiffure and beautiful new coat, I’d definitely steal her thunder. We cannot have that.

 

Meow!

November 21st 2007 7:45 am
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Ah ma said I look like a stray kitten. A stray! And a kitten at that. And then she went on to call me lazy and useless. She said I don’t know how to clean up after myself, how to eat my food myself, how to wipe my mouth, bathe myself, clean my own ears. The only thing I know how to do, according to her, is to lick my nose. That Ah ma, she can’t even lick her nose. She’s just jealous I know. And I know she loves me all the same. She gives me the longest belly rubs, even when her arms are aching. I heart my Ah ma deep deep.

 

Got onions no carrot

November 20th 2007 9:07 am
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We met Phoebe in the gardens today. I haven’t seen her in a really long time, maybe months. She didn’t have to vacuum the house nor did she have to look after the baby today so she could come out to take a walk. Phoebe is really tiny for a Beagle- she still looks like a puppy when she’s only a year younger than me. But again, everyone mistakes me for a puppy too. All the time. I can’t help it. I’m too cute. Fomfomfom said I look like something exploded in my face. Ah bee screamed, “Cuteness!” Fomfomfom was referring to my luscious locks but I really do prefer Ah bee’s version.

 

What's your poison

November 19th 2007 9:40 am
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I didn’t have an appetite for lunch today coz I didn’t poop yesterday. Space was a little tight. But the good news is that I shate twice my normal amount today. And so I had space for dinner. A heavy dinner. Burp!

Ah bee and Fomfomfom were talking about Amy Winehouse. And then they moved on to talk about addictions, what of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and coffee. Ah bee asked Fomfomfom if she’s addicted to anything. Fomfomfom hugged me and said, “Only this one.”

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!

 

Merrilyn is my best friend

November 18th 2007 11:49 am
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I didn’t get to go out today. It krong krong-ed the whole day. I was plenty upset. And so constipated. It wasn’t all that bad though- I had emperor’s chicken for dinner tonight. It was tender, it was tasty. It was wonderful. I should have this everyday. Fomfomfom was feeling all nostalgic- Ah gong used to buy this a long long time ago. Ah bee said nostalgia is when Ah gong goes out to buy fish head bee hoon, bringing along our own tin container for it. I’m not old enough to get nostalgic about anything.

Cha had another wedding to go to today. She said she has another one on Thursday. Ah bee asked who’s getting married. Ping Ping, Cha said. I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS GETTING MARRIED ON THURSDAY. No one told me. I must write it down somewhere lest I forget.

When Cha was on her way out, Ah ma and Ah gong asked her where she was going. She said to a classmate’s wedding. It was envy I saw in their eyes.

 
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