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August 24th 2008 7:51 am
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I was so innocent today. Ah ma kept feeding me pork and liver and all sorts of nice food, and fomfomfom practically threw me off the couch. She was so fierce about it. Ah ma also kept enticing me to walk through the newly installed barrier into the kitchen. I didn't dare to, I was only standing in front of the barrier listening to ah ma, and cha scolded me terribly. I felt so abused for nothing.

Later fomfomfom said sorry to me and told me it's all ah ma's fault. I told her I suspected her love for me is not all that she professed it to be. I felt so hurt at her physical manhandling. Fomfomfom was so apologetic she gave me lots of loving. Later, she asked me for a kiss but I refused to give it to her. She was a little sad.

I think fomfomfom is going to be on the warpath with ah ma for a while. I don't know whose fault it is, I only know I'm innocent.


Shut out

August 23rd 2008 7:51 am
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Today fomfomfom brought home a strange contraption. I couldn't tell what it is by its smell, so I waited for them to install it. It is a swinging gate, and it is fitted at the kitchen doorway.

I went to read the box it came in, and it says it's a safety barrier for toddlers. Now that is strange, coz we don't have any toddlers in the house. I only know that now I can't go into the kitchen like before, and I am very angry at this non-existent toddler.

It's all his fault. I am inconvenienced.


Don't cry

August 22nd 2008 9:55 am
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We didn't win a medal. We were placed fourth. Our Li Jiawei lost both matches and later when I saw her in the news being interviewed, she was crying. I felt sad for her but I was also very proud of her. I thought she was so flaky during all previous matches, but this morning when she was playing world number 1 Zhang Yining, I was so impressed.

I think if you had done your best, you shouldn't cry. When I think of our singapore table tennis girls, I almost burst with pride. I think they are entitled to swell their chests and walk tall and proud coz they have done their best for singapore and singapore is grateful.

We love you, Jiawei.


We love Feng Tianwei

August 21st 2008 5:55 am
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We were watching table tennis today. It was the women's quarter finals, or perhaps semi finals, I can never make head or tail of the rounds. Anyway, there were 16 women playing. There was Hongkong versus Austria, Singapore versus Netherlands, and such, a wonderful array of countries. But I noticed they were all chinese women. It was a little bit funny.

But no matter. Coz Singapore has 2 players in there, and we won both matches. It means we have 2 out of the 8 best female table tennis players in the world. Isn't that something? I'm so proud I'm on the verge of exploding.

And now we have one singaporean in the best 4 female players in the world. It would be great if we can get one more medal here. But it's ok even if we don't coz we are already showing very very good results.

Did I tell you I'm so proud I'm on the verge of exploding?


Sherlock Holmes

August 20th 2008 8:36 am
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Ah ma alerted all of us to the presence of something in the night sky tonight. It was there, looming large and mysterious, red and romantic. They wondered what it was. I could have told them in a heartbeat what it was. It was the moon. Duh.

Their only redeeming point is that they eventually concluded it was the moon. And they only took 5 minutes.


They say I look like a toy

August 19th 2008 6:57 am
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Everyone was so merry. Cha brought back the photos from that photo shoot a week and a half ago, and everyone looked at the photos and laughed. I heard my name many times, and they would look at the photos and then tickle my chin and laugh boisterously.

I couldn't help being offended. It was only my first photo shoot, of course I wasn't quite professional. I thought only the 1st two photos looked silly, coz ah ma didn't know how to carry me, but the rest of the photos were good.

Still they laughed loudly. Ah ma was especially merry. She even wants to bring my photos out tomorrow to show her sisters. If making fun of people were an olympic sport, this household would get the gold.



August 18th 2008 8:36 am
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Fomfomfom and her friends were talking about who washes their own underwear and who let their mothers do it. They expressed shock in both camps.

I'm in the third camp and let me express my incredulity at above 2 camps. My stand is, you should wash your panties when you are bathing. You don't even take it off. Just wash yourself together with the panties and it is practical and convenient. That's what I do.



We are Singapore, Hear the lion roar!

August 17th 2008 8:33 am
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Right under my nose, there was a cat. So goes fomfomfom. She claims I didn't see the cat that was hiding in the drain under us. So that's why she pressed my head down and went, cat cat cat! I scanned the horizon at that, but didn't think to look under my feet. Now that she mentioned it, the drain did smell of cat, so I sniffed there for an hour.

Then we went home and waited for the historical women's table tennis match against china. We gave them the good fight, and fomfomfom made me promise to give my panties to the women's team should they win the gold medal. I was rooting for our team, but I was contradicted. I didn't really want to take off my panties. Afterall, I've been wearing them since I was born. They're of a black sexy style.

But don't be mistaken, I wasn't happy when we lost the match. I was accepting. I think our players were accepting too. I'm just glad I got to keep my panties.

It was wonderful how everyone is so supportive of our women's team. Ah ma reports there were no cars on the road. I wiped a tear when our team received the silver olympic medal.

We are Singapore, hear us roar!



August 16th 2008 8:29 am
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These days I found something new to play. It's like a game. I would refuse to pee before bed, and watch my fomfomfom and cha go "shhhhhh..." all night. Then I would circle my toilet and then lounge by its side, watching them go "shhhhh...." with my big brown eyes.

Then it's more "shhh...." and maybe I would deign to give them a little pee. Sometimes not. It's to keep them on their toes.

The aim is to drive them up the wall a little higher each night. Giggles.


Singapore Singapore Singapore!

August 15th 2008 8:54 am
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This morning we met a woman who said her daughter loves petting dogs, but they didn't have one at home. So she told her daughter to drape a rug over her little brother, pet him and feed him tidbits. The daughter protested it's not the same. I agree. But the woman gets points for trying.

In the afternoon I was trying to get them to bring me for my afternoon walk but they were all glued to the tv. Like GLUED. For 4 hours! It turns out my mamas were all watching the women's table tennis olympic game, and they were groaning and throwing their arms up and cheering and doing ESP and making pacts with the tv. And they all boo-ed ah ma loudly when ah ma emerged from her room and announced Chen Shui Bian is resigning from his political party, like it is something important.

Finally, we won and it's a real big deal for singapore, coz it's the 1st time in 48 years we're getting an olympic medal and it's at least a silver, no less. My mamas were real happy and I was real happy coz I finally got to go for my walk.

And since we'd won, fomfomfom has to honour her pact with the tv. She will have to go to the airport to receive the winning player Feng Tianwei and throw her panties with her phone number at her. Whee.

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