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Puppy puppy

October 11th 2007 10:22 am
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The Japanese poodle, she scared me. She was chasing me and her oblivious owner let her. We ended up in a tangled mess and Ah bee got a rope burn on her shin from the retractable leash. And Fomfomfom is still gaga over her. So soft so soft, she kept saying. Grrr. I’ll have all of you know that I am so soft so soft too. Grumble grumble.

Ah bee taught me a lesson today. Cha had cooked a packet of Myojo beehoon and I smelt chicken. So I told Ah bee that I want the chicken from her packet if she cooks. Ah bee solemnly tells me that there is no chicken in there. Are you telling me not to trust my nose, I asked. She nodded and informed me that things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes, bad bad people will deceive you on purpose- they’d make noodles smell like chicken when there isn’t chicken in there. Fomfomfom said that it’s too early for me to learn that but Ah bee said I’m almost 4. I understood all that Ah bee was trying to tell me. The next time, I will ask Fomfomfom to buy the expensive Taiwanese instant noodles. They have real meat in those.


Is no more

October 10th 2007 10:30 am
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Today is my birthday. I am three years and 10 months old. *giggles* Fomfomfom bought me a slice of walnut cake this time and it was delicious! Don’t tell Cha but Ah bee pinched the cake and gave it to me when she wasn’t looking. *giggles* Ah ma said no one celebrates monthly birthdays. No one likes celebrating birthdays that often. But that’s not true; it’s only the mouldie oldies who hate birthdays. Young things like me, we love birthdays.

In other news, the green sofa in the dining room is no more. I have no idea where it went but I know the strange men took it away. I loved the green sofa. I would sleep on it, puke on it, pee on it and use it as my little yellow handkerchief to clean my mouth. Green Sofa, you have served us well. I am not sure how the red sofa they carted down from Ah ma’s room will fare but I don’t really like it- it doesn’t quite have the depth you have. You will be missed.


Ah bee's PVFT

October 9th 2007 10:26 am
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Just now we were in Cha’s room and she was letting Ah bee play with futures. Simulated trading of course. So Fomfomfom asked Ah bee, “Long or short?” And Ah bee screamed, “Long!” She made fake US$50 in a coupa of minutes. Ah bee wants me to emphasize it’s banana money she made so don’t you all go asking her for treats. Then, Ah bee declared that she was going to short it. It was a painful 40 minutes after that. There is nothing worse than watching the market which doesn’t move, Ah bee said. Sort of like watching paint dry, Cha offered. So we watched the paint dry. For 40 minutes, I think them traders went off to lim teh. Then thank goodness it went down 7 bids and Ah bee decided to take her $35 banana money and run. That was the end of her Pseudo Virgin Futures Trade.

Fomfomfom asked Ah bee how she decided where the market was heading. She replied she would ask herself that question and a little voice in her head would say UP or DOWN and that is how she knows. Fomfomfom told her that when the little voice gets too loud, she should go see a shrink. *giggles* actually, there is no little voice in Ah bee’s head. It’s me pretending to be the little voice. I would tip-toe into the room when I hear the question and I’d whisper UP, DOWN or STAY. Then I would quickly sneak outta the room before she turns around and sees me there. I tell you, she would be clueless, helpless and bankrupt without me. She was happily telling Fomfomfom that the US market would suit her fine since she works late into the night anyway. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it will never work out. Because it is way past the bedtime of the little voice in her head.


A cup of wine

October 8th 2007 11:10 am
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Recently, Ah bee would meet us at the gardens after her class. And I love seeing Ah bee at the gardens; it’s an altogether different feeling. I would race towards her when I see her. It’s like a surprise you know. I love surprises.

Whoever is holding me would drop the leash so that I can charge towards Ah bee. Today Fomfomfom dropped the leash and I flew in Ah bee’s direction. I overshot a little but I turned around and kissed her. Then Ah bee dropped the leash too and said, “Run to Fom!” So I ran. But I ran passed Fomfomfom, past Cha. Then they were all a little horrified coz I was running wild. Cha started chasing me and I darted around her. She couldn’t even lay hands on my leash. Then I ran towards Ah bee and she couldn’t catch me either. It went on for a while- we were just playing catch there. I was most nimble and agile. Those clumsy oafs didn’t even come close. Fomfomfom was laughing hysterically at this point in time coz she realized that I was just playing the fool with them. Cha had landed on her skinny backieside trying to catch me while Ah bee fell forwards and landed on her knees. *giggles* all these time, the useless Fomfomfom was just laughing her head off. At least she knew I was playing and that there wasn’t really any danger. I was just being playful. Cha got me eventually. It was real tiring playing this way. They said we can do this again but we got to choose a nice patch of grass and check that there are no big dogs around. Yay! I love playing catching.

So happy.

Fomfomfom came up with the first line of a couplet just now in the kitchen. She was inspired by the pot of water on the counter. She thought that Ah bee wouldn’t be able to complete it but boy was she wrong. Ah bee gave her, not one but three more lines. Fomfomfom was duly impressed.

But somehow I have a feeling she’s the only one.


Xiao Ping er er

October 7th 2007 10:32 am
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Today was a first for Ah ma- she defrosted the chicken in the microwave. Ah ma has never done this before you know. That’s coz my Ah ma, like all good housewives, is a very organized woman. She plans everything. So she has never met the situation where she would be staring at frozen meat in the face. But she didn’t count on me being so hungry today. Usually, I’d get meat for lunch and kibble for dinner. So there wasn’t any meat left at dinnertime. But I was so hungry that I sat at Fomfomfom’s feet while she ate instead of playing out at the garden. She took pity on me and went to ask Ah ma if there’s meat in the fridge. So Ah ma stopped watching the news and came down, only to find herself staring at frozen meat. But that didn’t unfaze my Ah ma- she put it in the microwave. And stood there waiting coz she was worried that the microwave might blow up. We all know that the microwave has a defrost function but that is beside the point. The point, let me reiterate, is Ah ma defrosting the chicken using the microwave for the first time. FOR ME. Kiss kiss Ah ma.

Cha asked me if I’ve got double eyelids. Pffft! What’s double, I told her I have triple eyelids. Double is for commoners. I also have the most beautiful eyelashes. And gorgeous eyes. It’s a pity though- all these years I have been trying to grow eyebrows but to no avail. My boyfriend at the corner of the street, he has lovely blond eyebrows that contrast so wonderfully with his black fur. I should get him to teach me how.


Every dog needs a home; every home needs a dog.

October 6th 2007 10:29 am
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Today we went to the condo to get Ah ma. So I took my walk there instead. It’s not a bad place but there aren’t many friends there, unlike at the gardens. We got back relatively early so I got to welcome passers-by at the garden too. So happy.

Later at night, Ah gong, Ah bee and I were out at the porch looking at the red red sky (which Ah bee still thinks is a sailor’s delight). Some clunker of a taxi pulled up outside the neighbour’s and was sputtering away. It totally disturbed the tranquility of the lovely autumn night. So I barked at it. It went away. Then it came back. So I barked at it again. It didn’t go away. So I barked and barked at it, until it went away. That showed him who’s boss around here.

Ah gong decided he wanted some wine so he told Ah bee to open a bottle for him. So Ah bee took out the corkscrew- Jan yiyi has a real crude name for this device but I shan’t repeat it here- and attempted to open it. She’s real lousy and the cork broke halfway. So Ah gong had to dump the entire bottle of wine. I hope she is ashamed, wasting good wine like that. At least the second bottle opened fine.

Oh there is this new shop near the gardens- Karma, Kettle and Rhapsody. I don’t see any kettles hanging in there and I don’t think they even know the meaning of rhapsody. So my powers of deduction tell me that this is a shop where they sell karma. It is about time someone start a shop like this. People, if you know that you are low on your accumulation, do visit the shop.



October 5th 2007 11:42 am
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I am so used to cleaning my ears every night I can’t seem to rest easy until it is done. And I can’t get anything done- I can't eat, wouldn’t go into my room, and was distracted all night. And it was with an apprehensive heart I finally settled down.

Ping ping pa pa.


Gong xi gong xi! Cha Cha Cha!

October 4th 2007 7:33 am
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Today is my Cha’s birthday. Gong xi gong xi, lao cha bor! That’s how I greeted her this morning. She likes it this way.

I forgot to mention that I touched Ah ma for a spot of $30 that day. My Ah ma is such an easy touch.

And I got the all clear at the vet's today. There was a Shih Tzu there who was just lounging on his mummy's tummy belly up; that's zen.

We spent a long time at the gardens today. We first ran into these 2 Caucasian girls. They came to ask Ah bee for permission if they could pat me. They were given the go-ahead and they started patting me and gibbering. How old is she? Is it a girl? What’s her name? What’s her full name? Does she bite? We have a puppy too; her name is Lulu. (How old are you?) Two! And I am five! What’s that you have in your hand? Can I give your doggie water? Can I hold your doggie? AWwwwwwww doggie! Your doggie kissed me! *giggles* Your doggie kissed her on her teeth! *giggles* CUDDLE!

They almost knocked Ah bee over when they decided to cuddle me. They also planted many many kisses on my head, body and ears. Even on my lips. I kissed them too. Ah bee and Fomfomfom were most amused. Me too.

We saw Sister Yakity Yak but I didn’t play with Magic and Diva. I barked at them though and Sister YY hollered something incomprehensible. They also laughed at me. Later we saw them five (Magic, Diva, Melmel, Chipchip and some random German Shepard) walking together. It’s a pity I am so scared of them otherwise we could have walked together.

Then we ran into this redheaded boy with his beagles. I was scared of them so I wanted Ah bee to carry me. She did but she squatted down so that I can be closer to the beagle. Then the beagle tried to sniff my backside so I wanted to get away from it. I tried to climb higher up Ah bee, to the top of her head. She didn’t realize I was that scared and when I wriggled up to her shoulder, I fell over and landed on my side on the grass. Then that boy, instead of holding his beagle, he let his beagle chase me and he was laughing hysterically away. Fomfomfom said she will kick him the next time she sees him.



October 3rd 2007 10:07 am
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And really, they must take us for idiots.


Ja Jang Myeong

October 2nd 2007 11:25 am
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Cha complained that I kept farting today. And she says that my farts are lethal. She doesn’t know what she is saying. My farts smell so good. When you’re as pretty as I am, even your farts smell good. Remember you heard it here first.

I have something to say about Fomfomfom’s tummy- it’s not big enough. She needs to find some way to develop the kind of tummy Ah ma has- big, round and most importantly soft. A flat tummy is no good for sleeping on.

Ah bee was telling Fomfomfom some sob story about the hamsters she used to have. They all died if you must know. Just like my fish- Fish, Phish, Xiao Hong and Xiao Lan. All of them. Frolicking in that big playground in the sky. Speaking of playgrounds, the children’s garden opened yesterday. I didn’t go in there but I’ve heard only good things about that place. I shall have to check it out soon.

Anyway, today at the gardens we bumped into Magic and Diva. They lunged at me but Sister YY screamed at them to sit down. Then she turned and said to me, “How Xiao Ping, which one you want?” *giggles* I am undecided so I didn’t tell her. Maybe next time. Hmmmm.. I think I want Magic. Diva is my rival in love. Just now Ah bee asked Melmel where his girlfriend is and he pointed to Diva. *grumbles* I thought I am his girlfriend. Then Sister YY said that us Doggies of the Gardens have most complicated relationships. Makes life more interesting don’t you think so?

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