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A McChicken makes a good supper.

November 6th 2007 8:11 am
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I was watching cartoons with Ah ma just now when Fomfomfom came back Ah ma started telling her a story and so no one paid me any attention. I went out to the balcony to look at maomaos but there weren’t any. I saw the coconut brush lying out there so I picked it up and brought it into the room. Ah ma saw that I was playing with that and went back to telling her story. I got bored pretty quickly and I spied Ah ma’s beautiful bedroom slippers. I have been eyeing them for a year now. She didn’t protest when I gingerly picked one up. So I chewed on that one. And flung it around. Then I went for the other one. Still no protest so I thought it was fine. Then Ah ma started screaming and tried to snatch it from me. I refused to give it to her. She had missed the chance and so the slippers are mine now. I ran into Fomfomfom’s lap for refuge and set the slipper down. I didn’t know that Fomfomfom worked for Ah ma; she gave the slipper to Ah ma. Then Ah ma started chasing me with her Beg-No-One, pretending to beat me up. It was real fun. We both got a good workout. Wheeee!

We should do this every day.

 

Remember remember the 5th of November

November 5th 2007 8:37 am
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Today is Fomfomfom’s birthday. The night before, I was minded enough to write a little note to remind myself to wish her a happy birthday first thing in the morning. So I wrote the slip of paper and took it to bed with me. But when I woke this morning, I didn’t see the note and I went down to welcome the mahjong gals. I forgot about wishing Fomfomfom a happy birthday. When I saw her, I said, “Hello.” And I didn’t realize it until Cha saw the slip of paper from the corner of my mouth. No one knows how it ended in my mouth. That was when she reminded me and I only wished Fomfomfom at this later time. Fomfomfom was very happy though; she said, “A for effort Pingping!” I will try harder the next time. I pwormise. I’d paste “Happy Birthday” on my forehead so even if I forget, they will still see the message. I’m so brilliant. *beams*

I was bitten by the ants in the gardens today and so I bit Fomfomfom. It’s my present to her. *giggles*

Just now Merrilyn got a call. We didn’t know who called but she started tearing after a while. Everyone was so worried, me included. So I went to lick her feet. Then when she finally hung up, Ah gong asked her what had happened. She said it was her aunt from Canada whom she hasn’t heard from for years and she is just so happy that she cried. Phew. I just wish she would smile and laugh instead the next time.

I think I will go into the business of selling flour. It’s risen 46% you know. I’d steal some flour from Ah ma and sell it. I’d sell it cheaply so everyone will buy from me. And I’d establish goodwill too. *beams* but Ah ma’s flour is limited so I will grow corn in our garden. Ah bee’s tasked to clear the land starting from tomorrow. There is a slight problem though- the resident iguana will have to go. I will get Cha to type out an eviction notice and serve it to him tomorrow. But I am not a nasty landlord; I will source for alternative lodging for him. I think, the best place for him to move to, is the garden next door. It’s near and convenient. And he can come visit me from time to time. Perfect.

Fomfomfom said that I can grow rice too. Wonderful idea. Then I’d make rice wine and sell. Shoju is very good- 50 million Koreas cannot be wrong. And since I am at it, I will grow potatoes too coz 2008 is Year of the Potato. I will open a mama shop first- Corner at Ping’s. Then I will expand until I hit Walmart size. I’d be Pmart. Then we will be listed. Fomfomfom will be CEO. I will pay her 100 million a year. And then I will sack her and give her 200 million for her golden goodbye. Then Ah bee will be the CEO and I will pay her the same. And then I will sack her. Then we will repeat the process until there is nothing left in Pmart. Then we will migrate to New Zealand where I would buy myself 2 sheep to chase around. Sounds like a plan.

 

eeeeeeeeeeeei eeeeeeeeeeeear

November 4th 2007 9:10 am
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I’ve been getting requests for photos of the Wildlife Stampede. I was so engrossed in watching it I forgot to take pictures. I found a video for all of you but the link doesn't seem to be able to work. So just go to straitstimes.com and look for it under vodcast.

It’s a shame they didn’t manage to get me on film.

It’s a greater shame that I didn’t get to wear my Tigger suit at the stampede. That was the perfect occasion to wear my Tigger suit. So next year, I will participate in the stampede for wild animals. I’d be a tiger. Raaaaaaaaa!

Fomfomfom discovered an ants’ nest in the sofa. And she was so crept out. So is about everyone else. No wonder there were always those humongous garden-variety ants in the living room. Now we all know why. Ah gong wanted to sweep them up and throw them into the garden but he’s no match for Ah ma’s lightning Baygon-armed hands. Those ants. They are finito.

 

Num3ers

November 3rd 2007 12:16 pm
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Today at the gardens:-
1.) We saw 16 dogs.
2.) We know 2 of them.
3.) I sorta played with 1.
4.) We walked for 57 minutes.
5.) And paid $1.14.

0 poopie. *giggles*

In other news, Ah bee woke up waaay past 12, (Fomfomfom says it’s disgraceful, waking up in the afternoon with morning breath), and took 2 naps after. She tried to disguise her laziness by saying she was bitten by the Tse Tse fly. What, do we look stupid to you?

 

I've never seen anything quite like this

November 2nd 2007 9:18 am
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We knew something was fishy when we saw that the carpark was closed. And when we went in, we saw NPCC people standing around. So Fomfomfom asked one of them gals what the deal was. She said, “Erm Wildlife Stampede.” Huh, said Fomfomfom. Er, the children are dressing up as animals, she answered. Okaaaaaaaaay.

So we took our usual route but we didn’t see no animals. Until we were at the pond and in the distance, we saw hordes of people walking in our direction. Then the band started.

Dum dum dum dum dum DA! Dum dum dum dum dum DA!

Is pretty infectious that beat. It was a procession. So many kids, with their parents. Marching to dum dum dum dum dum DA. And they were in costume. I saw cats, birds, lions, jellyfish, starfish, snakes, centipedes, tortoises, seahorses and elephants. It’s too wonderful for words. We stopped to watch them. And some of them stopped to watch me too. It took half an hour for the whole motley crew to pass us by. They disappeared without a trace after that and tranquility returned to the gardens. So we carried on our walk. But really, I can’t say how happy I was- everyone was happy and giggling and jumping around. Was such a beautiful scene. You really should have been there.

Dum dum dum dum dum DA!

 

Bewildered

November 1st 2007 10:16 am
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This is really interesting you know. I didn’t read the papers today but I overheard Ah bee and Fomfomfom talking about it. The fellas who did the Madrid bombings, they were sentenced to 40000 years of imprisonment each. 40000 years. The judges must have been very very angry. Chinese history buffs would know that our wonderful Chinese history dated back to Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors 5000 years ago. That was when demigods were the kings and everyone could fly. Aye, it was a wonderful era. And a mighty long time ago. But a mere fraction of the sentence melted out by the courts. And the best part is that under Spanish law, the maximum jailterm for anyone is 40 years. I must be missing something here.

In other news, Ah ma made walnut cake today. We haven’t had that in a long time now. The price of flour has risen 30%. Again, I must be missing something.

But I do love the walnut cake. Yummy.

 

Twit or Twit!

October 31st 2007 9:38 am
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Happy Halloween! Fomfomfom says Halloween is when you go to people and say, “Hello!” and then you’d get sweets from them. I didn’t get sweets coz I can’t have them so I got KFC instead. Not a bad deal if you ask me.

They forgot to carve my kibble so we had to improvise on the spot. They drew on a piece of tissue and used it to cover my kibble. Voila! A little ghost! And we took many pictures too.

Kuangqiekuangqiekuangqie…..

 

Black Eyed P in da house

October 30th 2007 9:10 am
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I don’t usually feel very loved by Ah gong- coz he doesn’t indulge me with bellyrubs like everyone else- but I do feel so today. I “swung” my lunch out this afternoon. And he was so concerned. Coz I puked yesterday’s lunch out too. He said this cannot go on and so Chachacha has been tasked with ensuring that I don’t jump around too much after lunch tomorrow. He suggested leashing me and tying me somewhere. That’s not going to work, I tell you. I’d just jump jump jump! And out my lunch will come!

So fun.

 

This is a long entry coz I had a long day

October 29th 2007 8:57 am
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I had a bad day. It was mahjong day, and I threw up my lunch. Ah gong was going out when he realised I was lying beside the 3 unattentive mahjong girls and a pile of regurgitated food. Fomfomfom and ah bee were horrified and they grumbled to each other, 6 ears among them and not one was working.

Then it was a visit to the vet. I had a blood test first. I was a brave girl, i didn't even flinch when they stuck the needle in my arm. I got the blue bandage, which I was unsatisfied with coz I like pink.

Then it was ear cleaning by Eric. He was rough and cleaned my ear like he was stirring soup. My ear was all red when he was done.

Next on the menu was the emptying of my anal sacs. Eric opened a new box of kleenex, put on gloves and padded his gloved hand with tissues. Like he was a lady. Like he was handling something very dirty. He doesn't know enough to lubricate his fingers. He couldn't produce much juice. 3 tries. Fom asked if he wanted to ask someone else in to do it instead. Cha said there's usually a lot of juice, so he tried 2 more times. Mumbled excuses that the juice was very deep inside. He did it 5 times! And then he said he was finished and fomfomfom was red like a beetroot. Cha was real displeased too.

Then doctor doctor told me my blood test results are perfect, that my ears have to be treated with panalog for 2 weeks, and anything else? Fomfomfom and cha said yes, then complained about the incompetent Eric who was rough and slipshod and obviously paid no heed to a dog's distress. They insisted doctor doctor check my anal sacs again. The doctor doctor was embarrassed to find that my sacs were still quite full and she knew enough to use lubricant and was gentle. She was shocked to learn that Eric didn't use lubricant.

Then fomfomfom asked for my nails to be clipped and doctor doctor said she would do it herself, coz fomfomfom threatened to throttle Eric if he so much as lay a finger on me again. Then doctor doctor said my nails were still short so only one or two were clipped.

Then we went to the gardens straight away coz everyone was so upset and I was upset and they wanted to cheer me up.

At home, fomfomfom and cha told ah ma and ah bee about the incompetent nurse and everyone was outraged. Someone suggested assassinating him on a moonless night but we're law abiding citizens.

Then the last unfortunate thing was ah ma was too tired from the mahjong to give me lovin'.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

ps. In a hollow victory, we discovered the doctor doctor didn't charge us for the anal gland expression. Take that, Eric!

 

And they keep laughing

October 28th 2007 10:45 am
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They kept laughing at me coz when I sighed just now, two lines of mucus flowed down my nose. And then they converged to form er a lot of mucus. Like they’ve never seen mucus in their lives.

And they laughed at me too when they saw how I propped my feet against the wall while I slept. And they laughed again when they thought I didn’t know they shone a torchlight on my head to look for that elusive mitemite. Of course I knew. I know everything. I just don’t let them know that.

And have I told you I hate Sundays? The TV shows are just getting longer. They used to end at 10 past midnight but now they’re pushing on one. And I can’t sleep till the show’s over. It’s waaaaaaaay past my bedtime. And I have to be up early tomorrow to welcome the mahjong gals too.

Sigh.

 
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