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Atten-shun!

January 29th 2010 8:09 am
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Ah bee's been working so late I'm thinking that can't be legal. Perhaps she should go to the police training school and become a superintendent or something. Then I'll ask her to make me the head of the K-9 unit, my underlings will go searching for drugs or cadavers and I'll supervise. Maybe we'll go on tv together too, me and ah bee, on crimewatch, so telegenic we are.

I'll tell ah bee about our plans when she comes back. She's still slaving at her desk.

 

Australian toddler

January 28th 2010 8:31 am
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There was this australian-chinese toddler walking with bean bean today. 2 babies, 2 maids, it was a sight to warm the heart. So we joined them and went to the pond to look at fishes and bark at passers-by. Fomfomfom asked the maid how old the girl is. The maid said she didn't know, the baby didn't belong to her, she only borrowed her from another maid. We thought that was hilarious, the things maids loan out these days!

The toddler didn't talk much, but she pointed to the pond and said "fish" to fomfomfom. So fomfomfom pointed to me and said "kang-ga-roo". The toddler nodded gravely and, hoping the damage is permanent, we sat back and I fought with bean bean.

I wonder if we can borrow the toddler tomorrow.

 

My paw

January 27th 2010 8:24 am
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I've been itching all over for weeks. My mamas think it's the new beef joystick they gave me to chew. So cha banned all tidbits, including my favourite kangaroo jerky. I was unhappy but shouting was to no avail. 2 weeks, we struck a deal, i should have stopped itching by then.

At night, they looked at my front paw and gasped at how red it had become. I like licking my front paws, it's a ritual whenever I become bored. My mamas thought it was almost bleeding from my constant licking so they became stern with me and scolded me whenever i started licking again. Ah bee declared my paws shall have to be checked and cleared before I can go for my morning walk tomorrow. Fomfomfom says she's going to put chilli on my paws tomorrow. Cha says she's going to wrap it up with bandage.

Gloom.

 

Pappadam!

January 26th 2010 8:17 am
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That's an indian snack. Fomfomfom gave me a taste coz I told her to. Then she didn't give me more even though i told her to. It's selective obedience, and that's the worst kind. Coz you lull people into believing you, and then you betray them. Next time I'll just wring her neck and I can have the whole container of pappadam. And then I won't give her any.

 

Heartworm medicine

January 25th 2010 7:45 am
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Fomfomfom and cha put heartworm medicine on me today. It's a liquid that goes on my back, and we have to do it every month. I struggled and made a fuss and they said I'm being so naughty about it. I said, what do you 2 know? It hurts. There's a burnin' sensation. Fomfomfom said she only feels a foolin' sensation, coz I'm making a fool of her. I told her she accomplished that on her own and I don't interfere with nature. They called me a wretch.

They are so rude.

 

It seemed like a good idea

January 24th 2010 8:06 am
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We met rachel and her hamster today. The hamster was in a ball and the ball was on a leash. Her name is Chocolate, the hamster not the leash. I thought that was such a good idea coz the hamster gets to go around in a sterile environment and doesn't have to wash her feet later when she goes home. I told fomfomfom I also want a ball like that. She can leash the ball while I go zorbing around the condo.

But one can't pee and poo in the ball. I mean, one can, but.....hmm. I think I'll just leave the zorbing to hamsters.

 

Yums!

January 23rd 2010 6:59 am
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I got egg rolls to eat today.

That means Chinese New Year is coming.

Which means lotsa goodies.

Can't wait!

 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorders

January 22nd 2010 8:00 am
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I was watching tv with my mamas. It's about people with OCDs. It's so interesting. Like the show we previously watched about hoarders. So real life, but so far out. We love the bio channel.

 

My new handbag

January 21st 2010 8:10 am
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I met mr dead rat again today. He's like all dried up in the wind and sun, I thought perhaps I can take his nice fur and make me a new handbag. In my hairy handbag I can put coins and buy snacks from the minimart.

But fomfomfom won't let me go near mr dead rat. Boo.

 

Just let me sleep

January 20th 2010 7:55 am
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They always talk non-stop and not let me go to sleep. My eyelids keep getting heavier and i have a hard time keeping my eyes open. Ah bee suddenly accuses fomfomfom and cha of putting me to hard labour in the day when she's not at home, that's why I'm always so sleepy at night. They deny it vehemently and ah bee promises me she'll bring me to work tomorrow so we can do some civil paper pushing and not be treated as a slave at home. But I told her I'm not well-educated and can only do menial work.

Oh my poor pingping, she cooed.

 
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Xiao Ping


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