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New game

August 7th 2008 7:17 am
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I thought up a new game to play. I sat among my soft toys and asked cha to guess where I am. I thought she won't be able to find me so I can play it for a long time. But cha didn't even look up from her computer and she said, do you think you are a soft toy? Come out!

I was discouraged.

 

Fann wong goes insane in the gardens

August 6th 2008 7:36 am
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I object strongly to voyeurism. Fomfomfom told me while I was on my afternoon walk today, pooing, she observed me from 12 stories above. I find such behavior inherently objectionable, the stealthy observation, not the pooing. Therefore I told fomfomfom in no uncertain terms such behavior is to be abhorred, and I will look down on her until she changes. She was ashamed.

At night fomfomfom and ah bee were watching a tv show and I suddenly saw my friend the black swan from the botanical gardens! Actually I didn't know which swan, coz there are 5 of them, but one of them is evidently a star now that he's on tv. Now we know which tv show they were filming when we came across them filming in the gardens. We didn't know who it was we saw then coz we didn't approach near enough to see, but we thought it must be a scene of a woman getting stung by hornets coz she was flailing her arms about and screaming. Now in the context of the new tv drama, we conclude the woman is fann wong and she is going insane, not swatting hornets.

After the tv show I fell asleep beside fomfomfom and when I woke up, she told me I was wagging my tail in my sleep and my eyes were doing the rapid eye movement thing and I was twitching. She praised me for being real intense in my sleep and said it was one of the better performances she'd seen. She admired me.

But of course. Don't we all? Afterall, I have a friend who's a tv star now.

 

They abuse children here

August 5th 2008 7:50 am
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I woke up early this morning, and was eager to go on my morning walk. So I kept running about and ringing my bell to wake ah bee up. Unfortunately cha the disagreeable one thought she was so clever and she took off my collar. I was naked.

So I told cha I'm feeling a little cold without my collar. She didn't pay me any heed and I'm thinking that is child abuse and can someone call the police.

 

a man politely told fomfomfom I'm not supposed to be in the- swimming pool area and fomfomfom almost stabbed him

August 4th 2008 7:20 am
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Today we went to the vet. While waiting, I met a girl shih tzu. We're almost the same size and she also has a skin condition. But unlike me, her front teeth are straight and she has a barrel waist. Her owner asked how many months I am. Cha proudly informed her that I am four and a half years old. I was puzzled. Her shih tzu is six years old and I am supposed to be a few months old? Cha happily told me I have a baby face.

That must be true. I can't remember when people have ever called me a *gasp* dog. I am always a doggie or a puppy. And fomfomfom always says I'm just a baby. And no one stays angry with me for long.

Like ah ma today. She was forced to take an evening walk today by her firstborn coz she had the skin of half a peking duck for lunch today. She didn't bring me along and I ignored her for the whole night. Then she got angry with me for ignoring her so I dragged myself into her room to watch tv with her for 5 minutes and all was forgotten.

It's good to have a baby face.

 

National dog walk

August 3rd 2008 8:21 am
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We went to west coast park this morning for the national dog walk. But we didn't even manage to find the event, coz west coast park is so big. It was my first time there, I didn't like it at all. I don't like unfamiliar places so I was glad when we reached home and I took a walk around the condo.

But it wasn't totally uneventful at the park. I met a dog who looked exactly like what I would if I didn't cut my hair for 3 months. He's a boy and his name is Lucky. Fomfomfom and ah bee were so delighted coz we seldom see dogs with fur exactly like mine. But my face is prettier.

During my afternoon walk at the condo, a jack russell attacked me. She was playing fetch with her owner at the field and I was just passing by when she ran towards me and pounced on me. Fomfomfom was so shocked she froze for a moment and the rabid thing was upon me and I squealed and fomfomfom lifted me up by my harness and the stupid owner rushed up and said, "she doesn't bite, she doesn't bite", and she didn't apologise and fomfomfom wanted to flip her the bird but was too stunned by her lack of contrition.

Fomfomfom carried me and we went to sit in the breeze for a while and fomfomfom comforted me. I'm ok now.

 

My sorta new friend

August 2nd 2008 8:25 am
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I met a white girl terrier this afternoon. Her name is Mimi and we barked at each other. Then we got tired and sniffed at each other's noses and now I guess we are friends. Mimi is my first friend from the condo and I guess that makes her kind of special.

After establishing our friendship, we went our separate ways and we met again after a few minutes. We barked furiously at each other again and fomfomfom dragged me away.

But we're friends, I insist.

 

Child abuse

August 1st 2008 9:14 am
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Perhaps it was raining meatballs today. I found 2 during my afternoon walk. I had them in my mouth both times, but fomfomfom always gouged them out. Since I'd acquired a taste for meatballs, I found ah ma's plain egg fried rice wanting. I tried to trade up my fried rice for curry chicken, but no one would make the trade with me.

I would like to submit the above as evidence that the fried rice they are feeding me is nothing they would eat themselves, and therefore it is child abuse and can someone please call the police.

 

The xiaoping olympics

July 31st 2008 9:03 am
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I bugged ah bee to bring me for my afternoon walk real early, before 4pm. We merrily went downstairs. At least I was merry.

40 minutes later, fomfomfom came down. It was like a relay, and I was the baton. I dragged fomfomfom around for another 40 minutes. I do rather like this relay style of afternoon walk, I get a better deal. I awarded them a gold medal for their efforts.

When we came back, it was time for dinner and ah ma fried me an egg fried rice. It smelled lovely and I polished it off in a jiffy. It was gold medal material too.

 

My latest adventure

July 30th 2008 7:53 am
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Today, I got stuck in a lift. Fomfomfom was taking me home after our afternoon walk, and the lift door won't open. I could hear fomfomfom's heart sink. The lift was stuffy and we rang the emergency bell and we wondered if the lift was dead and if it would crash all the way to the first floor. Maybe if we jumped at the exact moment it hit the ground...

That was fomfomfom's runaway paranoia, and also the workmen who were fixing the lift all afternoon and making a lot of noise. Maybe they did something wrong. I could hear fomfomfom's imagination running away amidst that frantic pressing of the bell before the lift door suddenly opened after fomfomfom probed it. We were stuck for all of 2 minutes.

We flew out of the lift, into my bathtub. We shan't dwell on that unpleasant little interlude.

For dinner ah ma cooked tom yam soup. It smelled wonderful and I spent 2 hours begging for scraps from various people. I got nothing. So I decided to eat fertiliser. Twice. It was goat's poo, according to ah ma.

No one allowed me to kiss them tonight.

 

Ah ma brought me for a walk and met ngyak ngyak ngyak

July 29th 2008 7:29 am
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This morning I wanted ah ma's slippers so I took one off her foot. As I was playing with it I thought it was kind of wet, perhaps from my saliva, so I took it to the balcony and put it under the sun.

Since I then found myself empty handed, I went back for the other slipper. Who'd have thunk, I found it kind of wet too. So I brought it out into the balcony too, so the other slipper can have company and they can dry together. I arranged them like a chef would a dish, one on top of the other, at a pleasing angle, like foie gras.

Everyone praised me.

 
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