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Cooper cooper, mini cooper

October 17th 2008 7:26 am
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Ah ma instructed Merrilyn to wash everybody's cars today but no one mentioned my cars so I got angry. I threw a hissy fit and then I insisted Merrilyn wash my 2 mini coopers too. To placate me, fomfomfom said she'll wash my cars. I pointed to the cabinet so that fomfomfom would know where my cars were. I told her she had to be extra careful with my red cooper. If water gets into the sensitive parts, it would turn into an ornament like the yellow cooper.

Then I told cha it's time I changed cars. I only go for mini coopers coz they are cute and luxurious, like me. I would want the orange and electric blue ones. Cha nodded and said she would jot it down.

At night I was sleeping on the sofa while ah bee and fomfomfom watched tv. I had a bad dream and when I woke up, they were sniggering with ah ma about how I was wagging my tail and whining in my sleep. I thought that was so rude of them all.


Too sexy

October 16th 2008 7:59 am
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Cha and fomfomfom were watching a latin dance show today and fomfomfom groaned that kids doing latin dance was kind of gross. All that twisting and trying to be sexy and adulty and it seemed all wrong. I had to defend the kids. I'm always very sexy, too sexy and I'm just a baby.

Cha and fomfomfom then decided it's ok for me coz my sexiness radiates from my very core while those kids doing latin dances are merely trying to emulate adults. That's why they are gross and I'm not.


I'm too sexy

October 15th 2008 5:59 am
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Cha told me to help assemble a DIY clothes rack. I told her I'm too sexy, too sexy for any kind of work.

Then ah bee told me to go over and sit with her. I told her I'm too sexy for her. So ah bee said next time I want to go down for a walk, I should ask my tail to bring me downstairs. I then apologised for making a mistake. I was only too sexy for my tail, not for ah bee. It was a freudian slip of the tongue. And that's coz my tongue hasn't been getting much nourishment recently, that's why it slips easily.

Ah bee was appeased and ah ma gave me some nourishment for my tongue and I'm confident I won't be making any more slips of the tongue tonight.

And my tongue, now it feels so sexy too.


K9 to 5

October 14th 2008 8:50 am
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Fomfomfom and ah bee were watching this horror documentary on tv at lunch. It was about dogs with jobs. There was a volunteer at a hospital, there were some who retrieve baseballs from the water, and others with similar distasteful jobs. I only liked the part about the dogs who get on the schoolbus to go to day care. At least when the schoolbus went, they could look at the scenery and their ears flapped.

The show was so lousy I decided to focus on the boiled egg in ah bee's hand. I only like the yolk, and fomfomfom tried to make me give my paw in exchange for some yolk. I thought the egg was in ah bee's hands, why would I waste any time on that stupid fomfomfom. Evidently that thought didn't occur to fomfomfom. I ignored her and she muttered something under her breath and went back to her stupid show.

Ah bee called me K9. I told her I'm only in K2. Actually that was a stretch. I didn't even pass level 1 of kindergarten.


The doggie in the window

October 13th 2008 7:21 am
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I made a great discovery today. There is a dog living in the window pane. I was out in the balcony this morning with my toy shiu shiu. I wanted to look into the house but I saw another dog staring back at me. I dropped shiu shiu in alarm and started barking at the dog, who barked right back. The dog had a shiu shiu too.

Fomfomfom looked out to see why I was so fierce, and she didn't understand why until she stepped out into the balcony. I showed her the dog and told her I don't bark for no reason. Fomfomfom nodded knowingly and giggled and told ah bee and cha to come and see this new dog in the window.

I was having the fight of my life and there they were giggling. They said I was a good girl and asked me to come in. It was so patronising. I should be barking at them instead.


Profits II

October 12th 2008 8:46 am
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I thought about it all weekend. Something wasn't right. How can my profits on 500 ounces of gold be only one lollipop? So I confronted fomfomfom. She was shamed and contrite. Almost in tears, she admitted my profits on last week's great rise in gold was in fact 3 lollipops.

I was pleased that my rightful profits were not denied me. Yet unsettled. Speculation as such could bring about such lewd profits! No wonder people get greedy.

I can feel greed devouring me right now. I'm already thinking of my next great trade. Can't wait.


My stummy

October 11th 2008 10:04 am
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Last night at about 2a.m, I rushed out of the room in a great hurry. I ran straight to the balcony and started pacing up and down. Then Cha chased me in but I continued darting around the house. They couldn't quite understand what I was doing; they thought I was hyperactive. Perhaps due to the sugar overload from the pandan cake I had. That is until I started sniffing around in circles. That means I have to go. It took me quite a while to find a satisfactory spot but I went at least. I had the runs. My poor stummy. Must be all the pork. And cake. And crab. Oh that beautiful crab.

So this morning, I went to Ah ma and told her about my rumbling stummy. I got meself some lovin' from Ah ma.

I feel better now.


Happy birthday to me!

October 10th 2008 8:03 am
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It is my birthday again today. I am 4 years and 10 months today and I got a slice of pandan chiffon cake. I shared it with fomfomfom and we had it for dessert after dinner.

It was shih tzu day at the vet's today. We had one here, one there, even one baby sleeping on the magazine table. It was disgraceful. But he looked less than a month old so we didn't scold him. We went to see the vet coz we received a rabies vaccination reminder. We thought it was dodgy coz it came with other irrelevant reminders so we thought their computer system probably had rabies. Indeed the vet confirmed the clinic had rabies. And I finally put on some weight. Now I am 5.55kg, fomfomfom is pleased.

At night ah ma came back from her gambling spree and she rang the bell and we opened the door to see her standing with 2 tall caucasian girls. They are our neighbours, on school exchange programmes. They were making pizzas and wanted to borrow a cup of flour. A cup! ah ma exclaimed. Take the whole bag! They were happy and we were happy and we settled to ah ma's heroic tales at the gambling tables.

I waited all night but the girls didn't come by to give me a pizza.


One night only

October 9th 2008 8:30 am
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Ah ma is in another country gambling up a storm, and ah gong seems a little lonely. We were all in cha's room, and ah gong was hovering at the door, asking this, then that, then giving advice. Ah bee was entertaining him, fomfomfom was not talking, I was listening carefully, and cha finally threw him out.

I thought he's just a lonely old man who wanted to talk. Ah bee suggested I sleep in ah gong's room tonight, I will listen to him talk all night and then he can tuck me in. It will only be for a night coz ah ma comes back tomorrow and they can go back to enjoying each other's company.



October 8th 2008 8:46 am
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I heard ah ma go off again early this morning, when it was still dark. I scratched the door to ask cha to let me out so I may say goodbye to ah ma, but cha didn't open the door for me. Sigh, ah ma was off on one of her numerous trips, I guess not saying goodbye is no biggie. She does it all the time. The more important thing is I forgot to tell ask ma to bet $50 on big for me.

But I had profits elsewhere. It seems the price of gold went up today, so I told fomfomfom that I will take the profits on the 500 ounces of gold I told her to buy yesterday. Fomfomfom tried to protest I didn't tell her to buy anything yesterday but I would not have it. I asked ah bee to calculate the profits and--was that a wink I saw from fomfomfom to ah bee?--after some intense mindwork, ah bee grandly declared that the profit is a lollipop. Satisfied, I told ah bee to remember to collect my lollipop and put it in my shoebox.

Trading is such satisfying business.

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