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May 20th 2008 7:39 am
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Today they were talking about ah bee. What is an ah bee?


Happy Vesak Day!

May 19th 2008 8:35 am
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It is a story about the gardens again. We met so many dogs today, it is a public holiday, see? There were people playing soccer and having picnics. I met many big dogs, but fomfomfom always carried me when they approach. The owners would be quick to assure that their dogs are friendly. Then fomfomfom will inform them that I am NOT friendly and that I suffer from small dog syndrome. Then fomfomfom would wink and the owners would all smile knowingly and wave bye bye.

I feel maligned. Fomfomfom suffers from anti-socialism and she heaps it on me. So I demand compensation. I want a pizza. I want a macaroni and cheese pizza. Cha says how can a pizza taste nice without meat? We will have to add bacon and sausages to my pizza. But I said no. Today is Vesak day and I am a vegetarian for the day. I am pious. Om.

The price of my gram of gold went up again. I am sitting on a profit of a whole 70 cents, no kiddin'. But my parking bill today at the gardens is 80 cents so I am a little sad, not to mention in the red. So I asked fomfomfom for more gold and she said ok.

Now I have 5 grams of gold.


Sticks and stones may break my bones but beware the fury of- a woman crossed

May 18th 2008 8:42 am
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It was like a party today at the gardens. There were lots of people playing and having picnics. I was just doing my thing when this boy walked towards me and with a rock in his hand, was all poised to throw it at me. Neither me nor fomfomfom saw him, but I was saved by cha's timely action. Her deadly glare reduced the boy to pieces and now he's just a pile of dust in a remote corner of the botanical gardens. Just as well. Were he not a pile of dust now, fomfomfom would have torn him to shreds, ground him into powder and then fed him to the swans then killed the swans and incinerated the gardens until her fury is assuaged.

And then she would kill the boy's mother.


Of fish and fishes

May 17th 2008 8:28 am
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Fomfomfom frowned and said my breath smells terrible today, like fish tank and salted fish. She said I will have to start brushing my teeth very soon.

Cha sniffed me and pronounced my breath perfectly normal, it smells just like a fish tank. Nothing out of the ordinary, she beamed.

What? Am I supposed to be happy?


Less one leg

May 16th 2008 8:19 am
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I went to the gardens today and saw 3 dogs running around without adult supervision. So I avoided them and took another route. But suddenly, one dog bounded out from nowhere and gave me and fomfomfom a fright. Fomfomfom quickly picked me up and shook her fist at the maid in charge of the 3 unleashed dogs. How irresponsible, fomfomfom fumed. Supposed he attacked me?

Anyway, I have seen those 3 dogs before. One of them has only 3 legs. But he seems oblivious to that fact and runs as fast as the other 2. So I am quite happy for him.

Alas I am less happy for the quake victims in china. Today in the newspaper, there was this woman trapped under rubble and rescuers could neither reach her nor pull her out. So they gave her a saw and she amputated her own leg before she was freed and got pulled out.

Such despairing news day after day after day.


Cute little chinese girl

May 15th 2008 8:11 am
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Last night fomfomfom and ah ma were channel surfing and they went to channel 8. It was a chinese drama serial, made in singapore! Fomfomfom wanted to watch it so she can giggle but ah ma couldn't stand it and changed the channel. Fomfomfom was disappointed.

Today we went to the gardens and there they were again, filming another drama serial. Fomfomfom was reminded to catch the same show tonight, but alas, she forgot. There is always tomorrow, promises to be always painful to watch, always good for giggles.

Talking about tv, today we were watching the news again, about the china earthquake. There was this girl being interviewed, she must be younger than me, maybe just 3 years old. She donated 1000 rmb to the quake victims, and it was her own money. She told the camera it was her chinese new year ang pow money from her parents, and she hopes they will use it to buy water, food and flu medicine for the victims. Flu medicine! Well.

The price of gold went up today. I am rather happy.


Cruel world

May 14th 2008 8:12 am
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I was watching the news with ah ma just now. The earthquake 2 days ago in Sichuan, it is bad. The Prime Minister of China went down and he was speaking to a girl who is slightly older than me. She had lost both her parents in the quake and is now an orphan. The Prime Minister was comforting her and she was crying and crying and crying.

I feel like crying myself.


Mutter mutter...

May 13th 2008 8:24 am
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Fomfomfom gave me a gram of gold today. Now that I am invested, I shall have to watch CNBC constantly for the price of gold. When it goes up, I will sell it back to fomfomfom. If it goes up further, I'll take it back from her and sell to her again at the peak. Then I will put the money into my shoebox and ask for another gram of gold from fomfomfom. Investing is such tiring business.

Cha had something to say about my business plan, and I wasn't happy with her. We investors do not tolerate people second-guessing our decisions. So I scolded her and she kept quiet in shame.

So unsatisfied I am with her. Mutter mutter.


I am the Queen surveying my land

May 12th 2008 7:50 am
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It is mahjong day today. Auntie Chris came early so I gave her my bottle and asked her to rub my belly. Later I didn't want my belly rubbed anymore so I asked for my bottle back but she won't give it back to me. She insisted it's hers. I complained to ah ma and ah ma got my bottle back for me. Next time I'll have to find something less valuable to give to the mahjong girls, like tissue paper filled with fomfomfom's snot or something.

Then I made some investments. I told fomfomfom I'll give her a dollar and I'll have a share in her investments. I'll take all the profits and she'll be in charge of all the losses. Fomfomfom agreed and we shook hands. We're partners.

It is my habit at night to roam the house and knock on Merrilyn's door. She'll put down all she's doing, open the door and I'll walk around the room and then come out in 5 seconds. Fomfomfom saw it for the first time tonight and gasped that I was so naughty. What does she know, the ignoramus. She always wonders why I come out of the room so fast, does Merrilyn spank me or something. Now she sees that I don't allow Merrilyn to even pat me. I just want to survey the room.

I am the Queen. It's always on my terms.


Happy Mother's Day, ah ma!

May 11th 2008 7:24 am
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It is Mother's Day today. I love ah ma! A long time ago, I made a card for ah ma, with my paw print. But this year no one helped me so I had no card for my ah ma this year.

In the gardens today there were lots of people. I think they were having picnics and parties as it is sunday, and I found a piece of chicken on the ground. Fomfomfom and cha were horrified when they saw that I had it in my mouth, and fomfomfom immediately hit it out of my mouth. I thought that was so rude, she could have asked politely. I was about to discard it anyway, I am used to eating only hand-fed-bite-sized food. Only a mongrel knows how to eat a big piece of stray chicken. The unsatisfactory cha and fomfomfom then went on muttering about how the meat could be poisoned. Can't be bothered with them. I am pedigree princess ping.

My rashes got a little itchy today so I tried to scratch using my teeth. Ah ma was so anxious she summoned fomfomfom and ordered her to play with me so I may be distracted from the itch. Cha played with me while ah ma interrogated fomfomfom about what can be done about the itch. Fomfomfom shrugged and went to bathe.

But I still like fomfomfom more than that ah bee, who's still missing. She called back to speak to ah ma coz it is mother's day but I refused to speak to her. I only love ah ma.

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