"The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost."

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One Year Today

June 19th 2007 4:51 am
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As I awoke this morning, I felt a lump in my throat and a heaviness in my heart. The memory of a year ago rushed suddenly to my mind, so vivid, like it was yesterday. The last time I got to hold you and tell you how much I loved you with all my heart.

I still feel you at my feet, and see you at every corner. With those big loving, devoted, trusting eyes. Eyes so full of love they overflowed and glowed. You were the most unique pup ever. So happy and loving and playful. Always a smile and a tail wag, even when you were feeling badly.

Not one day goes by that you're not on my mind. Some memory of you comes suddenly rushing in. Amazing how one pup, in one year, can make such an impact on your soul ... but you did just that! You were my soulmate. I pray that you can look down from heaven and know the love in our hearts for you will be there forever. I love you as much today as I did the first day I set eyes on you, the last day I held you, and will love you that deeply forever.

So rest well my dear sweet angel, until we're reunited again.

Today is 6 Months!

December 19th 2006 6:01 am
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Today is 6 long months since we've lost you sweet baby. Not a day goes by still that your not in my thoughts, or a tear is not shed. With the holidays nearing, it's even harder not to have you here. As I decorate and prepare, I think of last Christmas, and having you here and you and Earnie opening your presents on Christmas morning. You were so happy. You had finally found your furever home, and were safe with people who loved you with all their hearts. I still see you lying on the bed, or waiting for me at the top of the stairs. And sometimes I swear I even feel you here beside me.

I want you to know that I will always love you and you will forever be my special guy. I pray you're happy now and never sick. And I wonder if you can see us. If you can, then you know that I will forever love you. Like the saying goes .... I never wanted memories, I only wanted you ...! So rest well my love, and know that I always love you!

One Month Today.......

July 19th 2006 3:47 am
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It's been one month today that we lost our baby Sammy. In that month, many tears have been shed, many regrets pondered over, many memories revisited. Life isn't the same anymore without him. His blanket still drapes the footboard of our bed. Each night at bedtime, I look around to see if he's following me up the stairs. We never thought a sweet, innocent furball with "Grinch" feet could leave such a massive void in our lives. It seems just yesterday he was looking up at me with those big devoted eyes, all that love in them, and all that trust. Although his brothers and sister are still here with us, they are not, as they shouldn't be, Sammy. He was the most unique baby.

Our love for him will forever be in our hearts and souls.

We love you Sammy!

Mommy and Daddy

My Tail of Devotion for Sammy (In Loving Memory)

June 23rd 2006 4:02 am
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Our beloved Sammy came to us as a gift from God. We rescued Sammy from a local shelter where he had been for a long time, so long in fact, that the people who run the shelter wouldn't even take our money for him, they were just glad he finally got a good home. I was searching Petfinder.Com one day to find a playmate for our dog Earnie, and came across his photo at a local shelter. He immediately tugged at my heartstrings, his eyes so full of love to give, yet so frightened and lonely. It seemed I could look straight into his soul. My husband and I went and adopted him that very afternoon.

Within days of Sammy joining our happy family, he became ill. Everything he ate didn't stay down. I immediately called our wonderful Vet and took him in to be checked. He put Sammy on some medication to ease his stomach. Well, that only worked for a few days, then back to the vet we went. Our Vet is very knowledgeable, but suggested we take Sammy to a hospital that was more equipped to do more extensive testing. So off we went to Fairmont, WV, about an hour drive, for an endoscopy and sonogram. From what they could tell from the test results, Sammy had thickened intestines and Irritable Bowel Disease. But ..... we were also told that cancer in canines sometimes disguises itself and can be extremely had to detect. So, after both Vets consulted, the prognosis was to put him on prednisone and a diet of boiled beef and chicken with rice.

Well, after buying lunch meat by the pounds, because that's the only way I could get him to take his pill in the morning, as a treat, and cooking supper for him each day, we began the steroid regimine . The improvement was astounding! His weight significantly increased and he had very few episodes after that. We were delighted to see our Sammy happy and healthy!

For the next year, he brought us so much love and joy. He couldn't wait for nightfall to go to bed and sleep between us. His eyes were filled each day with happiness, love and undying devotion. Until the one morning he woke up and wouldn't take his pill, even with lunch meat. I looked in his eyes and saw a change of some kind that deeply troubled me. Although he didn't seem ill, and would improve as the day went on, I knew something was changing .... I felt it deep in my heart and soul, a sudden lump in my throat and sadness in my heart.

That fateful morning, I knew he was worsening rapidly, and off to the Vet we went. We both thought he had pneumonia. So he was admitted to the hospital for fluids, x-rays and blood work. No one, not my husband and I or our Vet thought that would be the last time we saw Sammy, but it was. He passed away a few hours later.

His blood count was near non-existant and his white count was tripled from the count taken a month before. Our worst fears were confirmed .... Sammy did have cancer. But he was so brave and strong throughout. Never a whimper or tear or growl.

Our lives now are not the same and he will always be with us in so many ways. I thank God daily that he brought Sammy to our lives and my heart is somewhat lightened by the thought that I know we gave Sammy the very best year of his short, too soon ended life. In that year, he was given more love, affection and care than most children ever get in a lifetime. But for all the love and devotion he was given, Sammy returned it a million fold. May God allow him to rest in peace until he is reunited with his family.

Sammy's Mommy - In Life,In Love and For Eternity

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