One more year without you

From Mom

Neely, my heart dog. Today marks 6 years without you. It seems like yesterday for the pain my heart but an eternity for the void you left in it. I miss your goofy smile, our Sunday morning walks for ice cream, the love you so freely gave us and so many other things. Most of all I miss you so much it hurts after all this time.

I know you are in a better place because you were in so much pain and I couldn't help you any longer. I still see your face the last seconds we had you. You looked at me with so much love and thankfulness. You welcomed the end to your suffering as did we but we ached so much for having to let you go.

Very fitting, today is Rottweiler Day around the world. It is like the world is celebrating you. If every person in this world met you, they would all feel the same about you as we do. You were one of those souls that touched everyone you met.

I know where you are, you are welcoming all new commers as if you have known them all their lives. You would be taking care and protecting them as if they are family.

I hope with all my being, when my time comes, you will be there waiting for me as you were always waiting for me here. I can hardly wait til I get to see your sweet face again and be able to walk side by side for eternity.

So my sweet Neely, with all the love in my heart, I want you to know everyday you are thought of and missed. You are loved more today then ever and tomorrow will be more.
Happy Rottweiler Day sweetpea

Love Mom.

Got lost

Well Diary, I thought mom forgot me on April 1st. It was my birthday and the Bridge Memoral. I waited and waited for my letter. It never came. I was so sad. BUT, it did come. Seems it floated to the other side of the bridge from where I was waiting. Anyway, it was later after everyone got theirs that I got mine. Don't matter, it came and this is what it said.

My Darling Neely;
Today is both happy and sad for us here. April 1st was ( still is ) your birthday. We are happy to celebrate it but sad you are not here with us to do so. Do you know how much you are still loved and missed? I see your face everywhere I go. I can hear your voice when you grumbled at dad for anything he was doing that you felt was dumb. I look at your collar everyday and remember how beautiful you looked in it. I hold the ball that you loved to play with and remember all the fun times we had. When we go to a outdoor concert I always say " Neely would love this" or the fireworks how you would lay there and watch them. How you loved to go to our camp and swim in the lake. Every step we go when we are there I can feel your presence with me. The very first snowflake falling makes me look for you with your leash in your mouth to go for the walk. Ohhh, how you loved the snow. All your toys are still here and no other dog will ever have them. Your collar is above my pillow and I touch it everynight before I go to sleep. You are in my day dreams and my night dreams. You are my waking thoughts. You have left a gigantic void in my life and only your memories can fill a small part of it. There are times I wish I would leave this planet to be with you because to this day I miss you so much. To have one more day with you would be my greatest joy. Every second of your life with us gave me so much. You never asked anything in return. I just hope and pray everyday that you knew and know now how much you were loved and more to day. We never had you long enough and I don't think you could ever live long enough. So my precious Neely, our househippo,sweet cheeks, baby girl, funny munster, even though I would give anything to have you with me forever, I didn't want you in any more pain. Please forgive me and understand it was because I loved you so much I couldn't bear to see you suffer. I had to let you go. I made a promise to you while we were holding each other in your final moments and I am keeping it. We miss you more today then ever. I know you are taking care of Kitt, Dal , Fig and all of our doggie / kitty pals that has come to join you. That is just the way you were here. You took care of everyone. One day I will be there to take care of you again. Until them my sweet Neely, remember and know, we love you deeply today and always. Forever in our hearts and minds.
Happy Bithday , Love mom, dad, sis, Bullet, Daisy,Squeak.
We are apart but our hearts will always be together.

Sad day

This is a sad day for mommy. Her heart is so broken. Today is my birthday or would have been had I not gone to the bridge. My fur sisters and brother are doing their best to cheer mom up but it isn't working to well. We have been apart for 51/2 yrs now and mom still thinks and talks to me everyday. A part of mom died with me and I am not sure she will ever heal. She misses me so much and I miss her. The one wish in life that mom has to to have just one more day with me. She thinks she never told me enough how much she loved me. She did. She thinks she never showed me everyday how much she loved me. She did. If only I could let her know that I will be at the door waiting for her. I am saving everything to show her what I have been doing since I went away. I would love to give mom just one more kiss and one more rotty lean. Mom said I was the best at it. I miss my mom as much as she misses me. I wanted to stay forever with her. But I will have to settle for forever in her heart as she is in mine.

Happy Birthday to me.

5 Years Today

Neely's mom here

One of the saddest days of my life is July 13 / 02. That was the day we had to let our beautiful girl Neely go. Five years later ( today), my heart still breaks for her. Yes, memories can make me smile, yes they still make me cry. Five years without her has been an eternity. Five years with pain seems like yesterday. The joy this dog gave us is and always will be unmeasurable. Neely wasn't just a dog. Neely was family, our child,our heart and my soul. She reached me so deep inside. I have had many dogs in my life. Some for years and some that depending on my job could be a few hours. Being involved with dogs my whole life, you try to never get " that attached" to any animal because of dealing with foster / adoption. Sometimes because it hurts so bad to say good bye to those going to their new home you don't want to become attached. Not that you don't care or love every one of them. Because there are so many scars on your heart. I got burnt out for awhile and never had my own dog or fosters. I needed a break. One day Neely came into our lives and instead of walking just into our home, she walked right into my heart. The void that I didn't realize was there was suddenly filled with the most gentle , loving , funny big goofy Rottweiler I have ever met. While we were honored to have her as our family, I cherished each second with her. Our whole family to this day miss Neely as much as that day. She was a lady in life and she will always be. She had taught me so much. So my darling Neely, our house hippo. Please know we miss you more today then ever. You are never forgotten and thought of everyday. I would give just about anything for one more day to make sure you know how much you are missed and still loved. Just to make sure you are free of pain and illness. To see you are happy. We love you Neely. Please wait for us to be together again.
Love Mom

I am flying

Well mommy got a surprise this morning in the email. A very sweet and kind person made me my wings. I promise I will take very good care of them. I really needed them because I kept tripping over the clouds with my big feet. I don't know why but my wings made mommy cry. She had a smile while crying so it made me confused. Anyway... I got to go show them off now to my other winger friends up here. There are so many that don't have their wings yet and I will give them a lift to wherever they want to go. I guess I could be a taxi. BOL. Anyway, to the special person and their doggie..... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Neely and mommy

Scarey

this is from my mom

I had a real scarey experience New Years Eve night. I was rushed into the hospital just before midnite.

I had a migraine ( not a bad one ) all day. We had tickets to go out to celebrate and I didn't want to miss it. Anyway, About 11:30 pm we went outside for a smoke and then came in. I had just sat down when the DJ turned on the strobe light and it flashed in my eyes. Then a sharp pain in my head made me feel ill. All I remember from then is standing up and saying I needed some air. (I was told the rest of this) I made it outside and my husband was worried and followed me. I told him I was ok but just needed some air, when all of a sudden my legs buckled from the hips behind me and I went down hitting my head against the brick wall. So not only did I pass out, I was knocked unconscious too. My husband thought I was dead, until he could find my pulse. Then even the EMT's thought I had a stroke ( I couldn't move , talk or anything ) My eyes were open but I couldn't do anything and I don't remember it ) Anyway I woke up 3 hrs later while going for a CT scan.
Turns out good and bad..... I never suffered a stroke or heart attack, I suffered what is called a MIGRAINE EVOLUTION. This is where something triggers the blood vessels NOT to open ( in my case the strobe light )which makes you pass out until they open again. You can be unconscious for 2 - 72 hrs. You look like you had a stroke and even feel like it. If they don't open... in rare cases you can die.
I am still recovering from the headache, the knock on the head and from my legs buckling up behind my back. My speech is getting better along with my walking. I still have memory lapses but that is getting better too.
Just thought I should warn anyone who suffers migraines to watch out for sudden triggers... strobe lights are dangerous to migraines. This can happen even without having a migraine at the time.

Wishes

I wish I could be with my sis today. It's her birthday. She is 20 yrs old now and has grown into such a beaurful lady. Here is 2 of our last pictures together. The first one was the day she found out that I would be leaving anytime and the next picture was our last night together. She was comforting me because I was hurting so bad. I miss my girl so much.
Happy Birthday my sweet sis.


http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p304/bulldaisym om/neelyTara1.jpg

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p304 /bulldaisymom/canadaday6b.jpg

It's fall

Well diary... it's fall now and I loved this time of year. Almost as much as winter. The smells and sights are great. Mommy and daddy always took me in the woods to explore at this time because it wasn't so hot. We use to have picnics, play ball, I could walk in the lake and just watch the fish swim around me. That was sooo cool. We would be gone all day. Mommy and daddy worked all week so they devoted the weekends to me and getting me outside to do fun things that I liked. I miss them alot and I know mommy and daddy still miss me alot too. I can still feel their heartbreak when they think of me... which is all the time.
I can't wait for the first snowflake. I loved the winter the most. Mommy use to laugh because she never had to look to see if it was snowing. I would get my leash and tell her I wanted to go for a walk. I didn't care how bad it snowed or how much. I JUST LOVED SNOW. I would roll and make doggie angels, dig forts and lay in it, just lay on the snowbank that mommy did to clear the driveway. I loved it when mommy would bury me ( cept my head ). I would stay there and relish the coolness of it. Dog I loved winter. I wish I could do that now. Just to walk with mommy in the snow was so perfect. Mommy and I both loved snow so we would stay out for hours ( unless it was really cold ). I know mommy missed that with me too. Boy I miss mommy.

mommy's videos are done

well HERE THEY ARE..... THIS I SWEAR pt 1, 2 & 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8bkP6A2Zoo

http://ww w.youtube.com/watch?v=da6QJrCnTQE

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=R3BBDG--zxU

please watch all 3... BOL I can't tell you who is on which video

She worked really hard

Mommy is soooooooo happy and proud. She got the video done of adopted/rescued rotty/pitty doggies done. She has been working soooo hard to get the pics just right and the right song. She hope everyone likes it and votes alot. The more votes the higher the rating...the higher the rating the more people will watch it.