Detente

I have studied, I meditated, I have matured. I am an educated dog, a sensitive dog, and I have attained Understanding. I have done what many thought was impossible: I have learned to Behave Myself around Cows.

I am one with the Cow. No, that's silly, of course I'm not one with the Cow. But I'm not a slobbering idiot with the Cow either. I am Calm. I am Thoughtful. I am in control of my Emotions. I no longer have to be restrained and distracted. I walk by the Cows off leash, under my own power, guided by my own conscience.

I do not chase the Cows. I do not bark. I merely watch them, and drink in their scent. I have acquired a rudimentray knowledge of the Bovine language, and sometimes I converse with the Cows.

I say, "Hello, Bos taurus, I see by your red body and white face that you are a Hereford."

The cows reply, "Moooooo. Yoooooo are a Dog. Dogs chase. Dogs bark."

"It is true that I am a dog. But I do not chase Cows, nor do I bark at them. Be at peace, my friends, I mean you no harm."

"Moooooo. Doooooo not chase us. We are big, we are heavy, we have pointy parts."

"I will not chase you, good Cattle. You have my word on that. However, some day you will be slaughtered, and your parts will be placed on little styrofoam trays and wrapped in plastic and labeled and put on display at the Supermarket. Them my mom will go to the Supermarket and buy your neck bones, and she will bring them home for me and I will eat all the meat and chew on your bones and it will be good."

The Cows are not offended by this. They are simple creatures, who understand their place in the universe.

"Moooooo," They say, "You are not chasing us. We will ignore you and chew our cuds now."

I'm not sure why I was once so in awe of them

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