December 5th 2008 3:08 pm
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Going to the mountains is always hard because you loved it so much.

While we are up there, the stars are always so bright. Looking up at them, one gets the overwhelming feeling of being so very small and insignificant.

But after I lost you, dear Bernadette, we went there, and I looked up and just cried. I saw all those stars and felt like I was looking at my own heart, broken into infinite pieces. And still, at night, when I can see the stars, I wish I could see your little face.

You came to Auntie Alison in a dream last night, sweetie. She just told me. She said she saw Sammy too. He was laying on his bed, and you had your red and green toy in your mouth, then went to lay with him, and curled up in his belly. She said it was a strange feeling to see you both together like that.

I wish you would come to my dreams, but maybe I'm not ready yet. I love you so much, little girl.

I always will....