Adventures of a lead dog

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Bacon is Good!

January 31st 2013 9:32 am
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Step right up puppies to get the latest innovative dog food on the market. Is it kibble? No, it is not! Is it canned food? No, it is not. Is it bacon cooked and packaged just for dogs. Now, finally, the flavor that dogs crave!! Come one and come all for the best flavor of the century. Be sure and tell your humans to buy you the new dog food that every dog loves: Goodbacon. You'll be glad the humans bought it for you!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing New Dog Food)

 

Dog Food Should be Bacon

January 30th 2013 11:04 am
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I was invited to a dog food company meeting, and I think the humans might finally be making some sense. They were having a meeting about how to make dogs like kibble more. One of the humans said that some dogs don't really enjoy kibble and would prefer human food. I suggested that they wrap the kibble in bacon. That had been tried, and it was found that the dogs were eating the bacon and leaving the kibble. Therefore I went with my original idea and said, "why not wrap bacon in bacon and take the kibble out?" I might add that the bacon without kibble went over very well with dogs in the test group so I hope the humans come to the conclusion--as they should- that they should just feed the dogs bacon and everyone is happy!

Demon Flash Bandit (Getting Dogs to Eat Kibble)

 

Secret Service Dog Dies on Duty

January 28th 2013 11:59 am
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I would like to thank my pals, Scarlett, Elise, and Anya for the blue ribbon on my page. I always appreciate all the gifts from my wonderful pals. I would like to conpawtulate my pal, Pepper, for being chosen as dog of the week which I discovered upon reading Zoe's diary. I can't see the dog of the week or the daily diary picks. I also need to accept some friends, but I keep having problems with dogster and am unable to do so. If you have sent me a friend request, be patient. I have tried to accept, but have been unable to do so--or send pawmail either. I hope dogster's fleas are eradicated soon. Fleas are so annoying yet all the news ever talks about is bed bugs.

Today I read that a secret service dog died an accidental death while on duty. I think it is ironic that dogs are helping secret service protect the President and Vice-President, but not Bo Obama, the first dog. I hope this is a situation that will soon be changed because this dog things that Bo is part of the first family ever bit as much as the humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sticking up for Bo Obama)

 

I Have Artistic Integrity

January 26th 2013 11:30 am
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Conpawtulations to my pal, Coco Rose, for being a diary pick today. I would also like to thank dogster for choosing me as a diary pick today. I am in good company with Coco Rose.

I'm sure many of you have heard that there will be a new trilogy of Star Wars movies. My brother Jeff is excited, but Mommy, after having watched the prequel movies doesn't care one way or the other. She was not a fan of the prequels. This is why, when they approached me to play the lead role of Demon the Snow Runner, I turned them down. I would not want to disappoint Mommy in case they are like the prequel, nor would I want to disappoint my public. Sure, I know it was a lot of hamburgers and dingo bones, but I have my artistic integrity to consider.

For those who haven't checked out my blog www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com
my subject today was the humans and their advanced degrees. As a dog, I do get tired of the ones who have Phds bragging about how they can pee in high definition. We dogs pee in high definition every time and you don't hear us barking about it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Artistic Integrity)

 

Time for Dinner!

January 25th 2013 10:44 am
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I am planning my dinner menu. Today I plan to have McDonalds. Mommy has not yet went out to get them, but she will leave soon--if she knows what is good for her.LOL A dog does need his food!

Demon Flash Bandit (Waiting For Dinner)

 

I'm Happy To Have Cold Weather

January 24th 2013 1:57 pm
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Finally, we get some lovely cold weather here, but I'm worried that the humans are going to jinx it with their complaining. Therefore, I have sent a letter to Mother Nature that I will share with my readers so that you can see what a polite dog I am.

Dear Mother Nature,
Thanks for finally giving us great weather. I've been waiting for this lovely cold for a long time. Please pay no attention to the ungrateful humans. They complain all the time about everything. When it is hot, they complain that it is too hot. This is why you should only worry about making us dogs happy because we appreciate your efforts.
Love, Demon Flash Bandit

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Enjoying Cold Weather)

 

Secret Service Should Protect the First Dog!!!

January 23rd 2013 10:46 am
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I would like to thank the nice dogs at dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick today. I would like to thank my pals, Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon on my page. Of course, it is not too late to sign up for bacontacopalooza. It is still going on, and will continue for the next month. When bacon is involved, a dog does not want the event to ever end!

Did you know that the Secret Service does not protect our first dog, Bo Obama? I just found out that they only protect the humans, and I am one super angry dog!!!! You know that Bo (and all the past first dogs) are the ones who are making the important decisions, and the Secret Service does not feel that it is their job to protect the first dogs. I think it is time for all us dogs to write our representatives and tell them that this is wrong....WRONG!!!!! I, Demon Flash Bandit, think that the first dog should always be protected, and as usual, I am right. In fact, I am even for protecting the first cat even though the cats don't actually help run the country because, if they did, the country would be a real mess!!! For those who want to read more about this sad situation, here is the link:

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/explainer/2013/0 1/does_bo_the_obamas_dog_get_a_secret_service_detail.html


Demon Flash Bandit (First Dog Needs Protection)

 

Cats To Go Campaign Needs to be Stopped!

January 22nd 2013 10:26 am
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I would like to thank my pals, Louie, Bella, and Miller for the adoption ribbon on my page. It would be so nice if all the dogs who need a home could find adoptive humans.

Gareth Morgan, a man who lives in New Zealand, has started a campaign to ban cats from the country because they kill native birds. "Cats to Go", the anti-feline campaign that he has started to protect the native birds is yet another example of how stupid the humans can be. Killing birds is one of the things that cats are supposed to do. It is one reason I like them because they understand that birds are evil and also a good snack. I think the people of New Zealand need to stop this man before he helps birds take over the planet which is what the birds are trying to do--and the humans are so easily fooled. Who cares about hearing them sing anyway? They are probably just trying to wake a dog up from his nap with their music!

 

Fly "Hit Those Birds" Airlines to Bacontacopalooza

January 20th 2013 9:13 am
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Move over Doritos tacos at Taco Bell. There is a new taco in town, and it is being served at a restaurant in Philadelphia. It is a taco with a BACON shell. Normally, I'm not a fan of tacos, but I would try that one even if I just ate the shell. I am chartering a flight to Philadelphia for my friends and myself on "Hit Those Birds" Airlines--the airline for dogs so let me know if you are planning to attend the bacontacopalooza event so that I can make sure you get connecting flights to the main flight out of Detroit metro airport. Remember, the Hit Those Birds Airlines does not charge a dog to fly which is why more dogs fly Hit Those Birds Airlines than any other airline. Watching the plane hit and kill birds is just a bonus!

Demon Flash Bandit (Announcing Bacontacopalooza)

 

Squans, Pythons, Dogs, Rabbits, and Cats as Pets

January 19th 2013 10:54 am
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Thanks for the comments about the squan. I always want to let my pals know when I see a new creature hanging out in my yard. So far, I have not approached the squan just in case he has some weird poison that can kill a dog. It is better to be safe just in case. I am quite sure that some of the humans will try to catch one and make it a pet. The humans' logic makes no sense to me. Flordia now has a bunch of pythons hanging out in the state because some stupid human got a python as a pet, and then decided to let it loose when they were tired of the python. It makes no sense to me that anyone would want a python as a pet, but to be irresponsible and let that python loose makes it even worse. I think humans should stick with their best friends as pets--us dogs, and possibly a rabbit. I guess they can get a cat if they want a pet who does not appreciate them at all.

Demon Flash Bandit (Humans Are Stupid)

 
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