Lazy Cat Video

I would like to thank Dogster HQ for choosing my diary as a diary pick yesterday. I didn't even realize that I was a diary pick until I got on the computer today. I never had a chance yesterday to put my paws on the keyboard because I was helping Mommy and napping--mostly napping!!! You know I enjoy my naps!! I would like to thank my pals, Duncan Fife and Hamish McDuff for the steak on my page. It was delicious!!! I also want to thank my pals, Hershey and Winkle, for the blue ribbon they sent me. I have already started another award cabinet thanks to my wonderful pals!!!!!

Today I have a video to share with my readers that was on both msn and aol's main pages. It shows a swimming cat who does not enjoy other types of exercise. It is nice to know that some cats have sense! Here is the link:
http://msnvideo.msn.com/?channelindex=9&from=en-us_ms nhpvidmod&form=msnrll#/video/27cdbfa3-5074-914f-a3d3-0544913 996cb

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing "Lazy Cat" Video)

Cheeseburger Emergency!

I found a very disturbing item in the news today. A man named Gregory Jackson Sr., was arrested in New Castle, Indiana for calling 911 nine times to order a cheeseburger. A tip from Demon Flash Bandit: don't call 911 if you have an outstanding arrest warrant against you as did Mr. Jackson. However, as a dog, I do think that needing a cheeseburger should be a legitimate reason for calling 911. Ask any dog, and that dog will tell you that sometimes it really is an emergency when a dog needs a cheeseburger. Jackson didn't even get a cheeseburger, but he did get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in jail. Here is the link for dogs who don't believe that the humans don't consider the craving for a cheeseburger to be an emergency:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/27/gregory -jackson-sr-calls-_n_2773038.html?ref=topbar

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Has Experienced Cheeseburger (Emergencies")

Give Good Treats or the Dog Will Shoot!!!!!

I would like to conpawtulate my pals, Reilly, Puff, and Pepper for being chosen as diary picks today!!!!

Many of the humans are well trained by their dogs to give them treats and good food. However, sometimes a dog has to take matters into his own paws to make sure the human knows who is boss and makes sure those treats keep coming. Case in point--News from Frostproof, Florida (no Siberian Husky would want to live in that town). Gregory Dale Lanier, age 35, was driving down the highway in his truck when his dog shot him in the leg with a gun that was lying on the floor of the truck. The dog was not arrested in the case and was allowed to leave on his own redognizance. Mr. Lanier thought it was an unloaded gun, and he was also wrong about the type of gun it was. He was also wrong when he got the dog those cheap treats. Next time, he knows better! Here is the link so you can read the story for yourself:
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/02/26/171073 43-florida-man-shot-by-his-dog-police-say?lite=

Demon Flash Bandit (Don't Annoy the Dog or He'll Shoot)

Demon Flash Bandit: Observer

I would like to conpawtulate my pals, Fizzy and Lucky Isabella, for being diary picks at dogster HQ. I am always proud to see my pals chosen as diary picks.

This diary will have to be short. The humans next door are having new siding put on their house, and I have to hang out at the window and supervise. You know how incompetent the humans can be if a dog isn't watching their every move. I know many dogs would bark at them, but I am very quiet. I feel that "stealth mode" makes more sense when watching the humans. Otherwise, they will know I'm watching and will try to stop me from seeing how they are actually doing the job. So far, they have my approval, but I will be watching until they are done. This dog does not trust the competence of any of the humans--except my humans. They are okay because I have taught them well.

Demon Flash Bandit (Observer)

Pigs: Walking Bacon!

I am going to share a bedtime story with my pals today, but stay awake until it is done because it is a great story.
Once upon a time, a dog left home to go to the supermarket to get some bacon. The dog loved bacon, and could never get enough of it. On the way to the supermarket, the dog met a pig. The dog was shocked to realize just how "bacony" that pig smelled. The pig started bragging about how pigs are bacon so the dog ate him. The pig was right. He tasted like the bacon kind of bacon, and he was delicious. Wasn't that a heart warming story?

Demon Flash Bandit (Relating Bedtime Tales)

I'm a Diary Pick Today!!!!

I would like to conpawtulate my pals, Fizzy, Zoe, and Demon Flash Bandit for being chosen as diary picks on dogster today. Yes, I am a diary pick which is good because after they didn't choose my diary Friday, Feb. 22 when I shared the CIA report of the dog who captured Osama Bin Laden, I was ready to write a "conspiracy at dogster HQ" entry in which dogster HQ was trying to keep dogs from reading about the CIA dog. I think it is lousy that the humans try to take credit when the dog was the helicopter pilot, the first one into the compound, and the one who shot Bin Laden with his special doggy gun that was made for him so that he could be the one who shot the bad guy. The humans were all standing around saying, "what should we do?", and the dog said, "don't worry humans, I got this". Let's face it, when dealing with the humans, isn't that always the way it works? I do want to add one thing about the movie, Zero Dark Thrity, and that is the part when they went to Area 51 (supposedly to get some special helicopters), but I know it was to check with the aliens there to make sure that the mission would be okay. When I saw area 51, I was thinking, this movie is going a whole new direction, and I think it would have been interesting to show them chatting with the space aliens.

I want to thank my pals, Hershey and Winkie for sending me the blue ribbon for my cabinet. I have a third cabinet filled now, and I will have to go out shopping for a fourth one for all my wonderful gifts!!! I want to thank Zaidie for the steak and for the "vending machine" filled with bacon. That has to be the greatest invention of all times. Push a button, get bacon. I know a dog had to come up with the idea for that machine!!! By the way, yes, it is the bacon kind of bacon! Coincidentally, I thought about writing a diary entry on bacon, but chose to write on a news topic instead. I can only add that bacon is always a good topic of conversation!

How am I going to spend my diary pick day? I am going to eat a lot of bacon, do some napping, and call and thank the CIA dog for letting me have the scoop....and for putting a piece of bacon in the scoop!

Demon Flash Bandit (Diary Pick Today)

Chuchi: Looks Like Buscemi, Depp, or a Dog?

Conpawtulations to my pal, MrJackFreckles Sir Licks-A-Lot for having his diary chosen as a diary pick on dogster today! I'm amazed that mine was not chosen since I scooped the media and had the CIA dog's report who captured Osama Bin Laden. I guess dogster doesn't appreciate fine journalism when they see it. I thought that should have received a Pulitzer Prize for dog journalism. I'm guessing that dogster HQ will turn it in for that prize.

Now onto another news item that annoyed this dog. According to the Internet, some dogs have human faces, and one dog in particular named Chuchi is supposed to look like the actor, Steve Buscemi. Additionally, his humans say he acts like a grumpy old man. How do they expect him to act when the humans are saying he looks like Steve Buscemi? I chatted with Chuchi, and he thinks he looks like Johnny Depp. Pawsonally, I don't see the resemblence myself, and my opinion is the only one that matters to me. Here is the link so that you can judge for yourself.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/20/chuchi -dog-with-human-face-steve-buscemi-grumpy-old-man_n_2724597. html?ref=topbar

Let me know what you think...Johnny Depp, Steve Buscemi, or not human looking at all. I vote dog myself. Chuchi is cute and does not need to be compared to the stupid humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Voting Dog)

CIA Dog Report on Finding Osama Bin Laden

Yesterday my humans went to see the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, which is a movie about the capture of Osama Bin Laden. This movie was okay, but I will warn you that it does get boring. The movie mainly centers on some CIA operatives. Finally, near the end of the movie, there is a dog. In my opinion, this movie would have been a lot better had they focused on the dog sooner in the movie. I have managed to get the CIA written report turned in by the dog, and I will share it with my readers now:

I Fly in Helicopter
I Find Osama Bin Laden
Osama Bin Laden is a Bad Guy!
I bite Osama Bin Laden.
Osama Bin Laden taste bad.
He tastes like disgusting diaper.
Thank dog I've had my rabies shots.
I need water to get rid of the flavor.
Humans say I'm a good dog.
I know I'm a good dog.
I don't need the humans to tell me that!
I want some steak!

Remember, you read the doggy CIA report here first!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing CIA Dog Report)

"You Can't Fix Stupid" (Ron White)

I am going to share the latest in the saga of Peaches, the police dog who was forced to turn in a written police report about a suspect he arrested. The humans "at the top" did not appreciate the report being written by a dog even though they didn't seem to mind the dog catching their suspect instead of the humans doing the job. Therefore, Peaches has another police report to turn in which Peaches was kind enough to share with me before it hits the Internet.

Police at HQ mad because Peaches is a dog who filed a police report.

Peaches did the work, but lazy, stupid humans want to take credit for dog's work.

Peaches decided to teach humans at HQ a lesson.

Peaches chased humans at HQ.

Peaches tried to bite the stupidity out of the humans.

Humans tasted bad.

Stupidity still there.

Good dog Peaches.

Good dog--some humans will always be stupid!

Pawprint!!!

Good going Peaches--you are truly a good dog!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (To Quote Ron White, "You can't fix stupid")

Humans Being Stupid Nothing New

I wrote a story yesterday about Peaches, the police dog, who had to write a police report about a human he arrested in the line of duty. This was written because the people "at the top" could not seem to grasp the concept that the person was caught by a dog. Evidently, the people at the top didn't care for the report, and they are annoyed at the people who wrote it. I think that the real reason they are annoyed is that it made them look stupid because they insisted on paperwork from a dog. I think they should just accept the laughter and get on with their lives. They looked stupid because they were being stupid. Now they just sound like a bunch of cry babies with no sense. You'd think after all these years of being stupid, the humans would know how to handle their stupidity and let "sleeping dogs lie", or at least not do police reports.

Demon Flash Bandit (Humans Are Stupid)