Adventures of a lead dog

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Dogs Can Read !!!!!!

May 11th 2014 8:23 am
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Dogster HQ chose my diary as a diary pick yesterday, and I was so honored that I spent the day partying, and I didn't have time to write a new entry. I'm sure all of my readers understand--a dog has to party when he gets an honor like that!

I see that, as I write this diary, there is an ad on dogster for hair products to use with hair that has been dyed. I hope this is meant for the humans because I am happy with the color of my fur, and I am in no mood to have the humans decide they want to dye it. Isn't it sad that the companies who spend money on advertising on dogster don't understand that humans can't read, and dogs can? This is why the only effective advertising on dogster is for dog products. We dogs can read!

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy With My Fur Color)

 

Beggin' Poppers

May 6th 2014 10:06 am
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Conpawtulations to my pal, Amazing Grace, who was chosen as dog of the week on dogster! I would like to thank Holly for the ladybug on my page. Conpawtulations to my pal, Sir Jack Freckles Licks-A-Lot on his human brother's graduation from the University of Michigan as a bachelor in engineering. I want to state up front that I have already inquired as to whether or not his bro will let me help him drive the train so, if you have the same idea, get in line. I asked first. Of course, I"m sure Sir Freckles will get to be first, but I am second in line. I just hope he doesn't let any of the cats help him. Cats just drive off cliffs.

I just finished writing an important blog on outsourcing for those of you who are concerned about the subject. I'm tired of humans being hired to dig when it is a dog's job.

Mommy bought us some Beggin Poppers, which are delicious. They are in a pig that the humans use to throw them across the room. Throwing treats through the air is the best game the humans ever invented. The poppers are bacon and cheese (cheddar and monterey jack flavors) Just be sure you get the poppers and not the new product on the shelf, poopers. I don't even want to tell you what flavor the poopers are.

Demon Flash Bandit (Beggin' Popper Treats)

 

The Punishment Should Fit the Crime, and I Think My Idea- Does That

May 2nd 2014 8:37 am
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I want to thank my pal, Jack Freckles, Sir-Licks-A-Lot for sending me another bunch of balloons. Now that I have a total of 5 bunches of balloons, the birds are beginning to get nervous which makes me very happy. The only thing better than a scared bird is a dead bird. Notice how poetic that sounds. Obviously the English language was made up by humans who dislike birds.

This dog is angry at a news item I saw today. There is a veterinarian in Fort Worth, Texas who told a dog's humans that the dog was too sick to get better and should be euthanized. The family thought the dog had crossed over the bridge. This dog was not put down, but instead was kept alive to give blood to other dogs. This is inexcusable, but I think I do have the proper punishment for the vet. I think they should lock him up and take blood from him everyday to give to other humans--or to flush down the toilet. Some humans just never learn until they are put through the same experience themselves. By the way, since dogs do occasionally need blood, why not have doggy blood drives. I'm sure many dogs would not mind helping other dogs who are sick.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Bad Human)

 

The Punishment Should Fit the Crime, and I Think My Idea- Does That

May 2nd 2014 8:37 am
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I want to thank my pal, Jack Freckles, Sir-Licks-A-Lot for sending me another bunch of balloons. Now that I have a total of 5 bunches of balloons, the birds are beginning to get nervous which makes me very happy. The only thing better than a scared bird is a dead bird. Notice how poetic that sounds. Obviously the English language was made up by humans who dislike birds.

This dog is angry at a news item I saw today. There is a veterinarian in Fort Worth, Texas who told a dog's humans that the dog was too sick to get better and should be euthanized. The family thought the dog had crossed over the bridge. This dog was not put down, but instead was kept alive to give blood to other dogs. This is inexcusable, but I think I do have the proper punishment for the vet. I think they should lock him up and take blood from him everyday to give to other humans--or to flush down the toilet. Some humans just never learn until they are put through the same experience themselves. By the way, since dogs do occasionally need blood, why not have doggy blood drives. I'm sure many dogs would not mind helping other dogs who are sick.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Bad Human)

 

Demon Flash Bandit: Television Producer

May 1st 2014 10:30 am
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I'd like to thank dogster HQ for choosing my diary entry the second day in a roll as a diary pick. Also, conpawtulations go out to my pal Anya for also being chosen as a diary pick. I also want to thank my pal Mr. Jack Freckles Sir-Licks-A-Lot for sending me another bunch of balloons. The set of 4 is making it easier to spy on the birds in the yard. This is important work since the birds are always up to no good.

Mommy has been watching the television show, How I Met Your Mother, and I like it myself. They have the good sense to have dogs on some of the episodes. Watching this show with Mommy has given me the inspiration to write my own show. It is called, How I Trained my Humans. I thought of naming it "meet" my humans; but as you know, all humans require serious training in order to be good humans for dogs. The show will be entertaining and also informative. A dog can never train the humans too much!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Television Producer)

 

Demon Flash Bandit: Television Producer

May 1st 2014 10:30 am
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I'd like to thank dogster HQ for choosing my diary entry the second day in a roll as a diary pick. Also, conpawtulations go out to my pal Anya for also being chosen as a diary pick. I also want to thank my pal Mr. Jack Freckles Sir-Licks-A-Lot for sending me another bunch of balloons. The set of 4 is making it easier to spy on the birds in the yard. This is important work since the birds are always up to no good.

Mommy has been watching the television show, How I Met Your Mother, and I like it myself. They have the good sense to have dogs on some of the episodes. Watching this show with Mommy has given me the inspiration to write my own show. It is called, How I Trained my Humans. I thought of naming it "meet" my humans; but as you know, all humans require serious training in order to be good humans for dogs. The show will be entertaining and also informative. A dog can never train the humans too much!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Television Producer)

 

Buy me an Igloo---PLEASE

April 30th 2014 10:08 am
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I'd like to thank Dogster HQ for choosing my diary as a diary pick today. I also want to conpawtulate my pal, Ella for also being a diary pick. I have some sad news to share about my pal, Spuds Potato Head who passed over the bridge. Spuds, you will be missed, and my prayers go out to you and your family. I want to thank Walker and family for the balloons. I also want to thank Mr. Jack Freckles Sir-Licks-A-Lot who also sent balloons. Now that I have 3 sets of balloons, I can do a great job of spying on the birds. Thanks to Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they sent me today!

There is a large igloo for sale in Anchorage, Alaska. Imagine living in a cool place like Alaska! Living in an igloo in Alaska would be paradise for a husky. I am hoping to persuade my human to buy it. Maybe if I tell her it is in Florida, I could get her to go for it. Here is the link so you can see it:

http://news.yahoo.com/landmark-urethane-igloo-alaska-sale-20 2034690.ht

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants an Igloo)

 

Buy me an Igloo---PLEASE

April 30th 2014 10:08 am
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I'd like to thank Dogster HQ for choosing my diary as a diary pick today. I also want to conpawtulate my pal, Ella for also being a diary pick. I have some sad news to share about my pal, Spuds Potato Head who passed over the bridge. Spuds, you will be missed, and my prayers go out to you and your family. I want to thank Walker and family for the balloons. I also want to thank Mr. Jack Freckles Sir-Licks-A-Lot who also sent balloons. Now that I have 3 sets of balloons, I can do a great job of spying on the birds. Thanks to Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they sent me today!

There is a large igloo for sale in Anchorage, Alaska. Imagine living in a cool place like Alaska! Living in an igloo in Alaska would be paradise for a husky. I am hoping to persuade my human to buy it. Maybe if I tell her it is in Florida, I could get her to go for it. Here is the link so you can see it:

http://news.yahoo.com/landmark-urethane-igloo-alaska-sale-20 2034690.ht

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants an Igloo)

 

April 29th 2014 8:36 am
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Finally, I am able to get past the opening page of dogster which is why I haven't been writing lately. I thought maybe it was fleas and birds causing mayhem at dogster HQ. However, I am using a different browser so, this time, the problem might have been from my end of the Internet.

I want to thank Hershey and Winkie for sending me the cool balloons on my page. Since they are filled with helium, I plan to use them to fly up around the trees and do some espionage on the birds around here. I'm sure they are up to no good as usual. It is such an honor to be a spy for the DIBA (Dogs Against Birds Agency). It is a top secret organization, but I know I can trust my pals on dogster to keep my secret.

I want to let my pals know that my Mommy recently ordered us some treats from A Pawfect Dog which is a bakery and store run by my pals, Chance, Titan, and Destiny. I think their humans help with the business, but I'm sure that the dogs are the ones in charge of making all the important decisions. The treats are spectacular, and I am not getting any kind of gratuity for this endorsement so if you want to try a delicious treat made with love, here is the link:
http://www.apawfectdog.com/

I hope to be writing more often in the future now that I can get past the opening page of dogster!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Spy)

 

I've Got a Treat Order for the Bunny

April 23rd 2014 7:00 pm
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I enjoyed Easter so much that I have been looking in the yard for a bunny so that I can order some more treats. Those bunnies really know how to make a dog happy!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loved Easter)

 
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