Adventures of a lead dog

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Birds Fly: Dogs Don't

April 16th 2014 9:12 am
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I ran across a piece of news today from Louisiana of which this dog approves. If a dog is to ride in the back of a pick-up truck on the Interstate highway, the dog has to be secured so he can't go flying out of the truck. We are not birds and should not be flying. As far as I'm concerned, this should be common sense thinking, but when dealing with the humans, you can never be too careful. They aren't smart like us dogs. Here is the link for those who want to read more about it:

https://mail.google.com/mail/?pli=1#inbox/1456ad0d033 71190

 

Public Service Announcement

April 13th 2014 8:25 am
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I see that the big news on the Internet is that there is a new virus affecting computers called the heartbleed virus. This is similar to the heartworm virus that has been annoying dogs for years. As a public service, I am going to tell you how to avoid this virus. Don't let your computer play or eat other computer's poop. I know this is common sense, but so many computers do as they please and don't listen to their humans--very much like us dogs. LOL Also, avoid contact with mosquitos, flies, and birds. Basically, if it flies, keep it away from your computer. With these guidelines, you should have no problem with the new virus. I'm sure some of those computer people will start talking about "virus protection", but if you follow my common sense rules, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Demon Flash Bandit (Public Service Announcement)

 

MY DINGO BONE

April 11th 2014 10:18 am
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Thanks to dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick today!!! I also want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they sent me a couple of days ago, and I loved the dingo bones Mr. Jack Freckles-Sir Licks a Lot sent me. I'm still trying to figure out how to get them out of the computer. Thanks for sending bones to me too. It is always nice to get on the computer and see new bones being given to me by my pals. I want to conpawtulate my pal, Buddy, who is also a diary pick today so I'm in good company!

For those of you who are wondering what I've been doing since my last diary entry, I am going to tell you. Who am I kidding? I'm sure all the dogs are wondering what I've been doing. Mommy got us a new dingo bone last night which is called a dental mega bone. Angel Zoom Smokey proceeded to eat hers immediately, and she said it was delicious. I am still carrying mine with me everywhere. I believe that a good bone is best savored. I make sure Angel sees me with and. I lick it and smell it and then I guard it. Annoying Angel is almost as much fun as eating the bone. I'm sure the dogs who aren't "only" dogs know what I mean. When you get a treat and can torment your fellow dog with that treat, life is good!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Bone)

 

I'm an Inspirational Dog

April 9th 2014 10:10 am
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Once again, I have been given the honor of being chosen as a diary pick. I have to attribute my many honors due to my howlingly good looks, and to writing a diary that barks information that is crucial to the life of dogs. For example, my last diary entry covered the story of my horrible neglect that Angel got a new collar while I did not. Some dogs would have just taken such abuse, but I managed to get myself out of the old collar so the humans would have to buy me a new one. I have been told by many dogs who read my diary entries that I have been an inspiration in their lives. One dog told me that he was hungry and wanted some human food. He read my entry about counter surfing and helped himself. The steak was good, and he was quite sure the humans were okay with the hot dogs they had to eat. After all, he is the family dog, and as such, deserved the steak. Obviously, they didn't eat his kibble. Anyway, thanks to the dogs at dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick today. Rest assured, I will continue to inspire dogs everywhere to properly train their humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Inspirational Dog)

 

Time for a New Collar

April 7th 2014 10:19 am
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I was promised a new collar after the incident in which Angel Zoom Smokey got a new collar and I was NEGLECTED!!! Mommy promised to get me a new one too, but it had been 3 whole days and she had not gotten to the pet store to get my new collar. Therefore, I had to take matters into my own paws, and I managed to get out of the collar I had for years. The humans still don't know how I managed it, but they saw me do it. Mommy should know better. Many years ago, she tried to put a rabbit leash on Flash the bunny (my first pet), and he ran through the house making noise (which is every unusual for a rabbit) and he got the leash off all by himself. He told me his secret in case I ever needed such knowledge. Anyway, Mommy got her tail to the pet store, and got me a new collar. I like it. It is leather and Angel said it smells like a dead animal. I'm hoping it is a dead bird! Sometimes if a dog wants something done, he has to make the humans do it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Has a New Collar)

 

Giant Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich!

April 6th 2014 1:18 pm
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I haven't been on here in a couple of days, but according to Mommy's email, I was a diary pick a couple of days ago. I don't mean to brag, but when you get as many honors as this dog, you get to the point where you can't keep up with all of them. LOL

Today I have a site to share with you involving a giant 51 foot peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I don't know about the rest of you, but this dog is going there to get my share! Here is the link:

http://on.aol.com/video/students-build-51-foot-pban dj-sandwich-518183294?hp=1&playlist=127173&icid=maing-grid7% 7Cmain5%7Cdl15%7Csec3_lnk3%26pLid%3D461043

See you there!

Demon Flash Bandit (Planning to Eat a Sandwich)

 

Typing-- Good for Pain Relief

March 30th 2014 3:54 pm
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I would like to conpawtulate my pal, Doo, for being chosen as a diary pick today. Also, I want to conpawtulate my pal, Puff, for being chosen a couple of days ago.

I bet some of you are wondering why I haven't written a lot lately. My secretary, Mommy, has been in more pain than usual so she says it is hard to sit too long at the computer when the pain is bad. Yeah, I know. She should realize that my diaries and blog are far more important then pain. I just hope she gets with the program and learns to "type it out".

Demon Flash Bandit (Important Dog)

 

Historical Facts

March 26th 2014 11:33 am
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I would like to thank the nice dogs at dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick yesterday. I couldn't write a diary because I had to get on an airplane and do a quick tour for all the dogs who bought tickets to my "diary reading tour". It was so nice to meet so many of you in pawson. I'd like to thank the family of Sammy Jo, Toby Jo, and Joey Jo for the St. Patrick's Day hat and Riley for the 4 leaf clover. I am already lucky that I have so many wonderful pals. I also want to thank the family of Charlie, Harry and Lucy for the blue ribbon. Hershey and Van Winkle also sent me a blue ribbon. I guess I'll be having to buy a new cabinet if I get many more blue ribbons. Maybe Mommy will buy us a bigger house to hold all the cabinets.
Mommy has been watching a television program called "Drunk History". This shows the danger of allowing humans to relate historical facts because they tend to get them wrong even when they are sober. I'll admit the show can be funny which might explain why it is on Comedy Central. I am annoyed since Mommy just finished watching one about Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders. If a stuffed bear can be president, then why is it that I have yet to win an election? Wouldn't a dog make a better president than a stuffed bear? I think only dogs should be allowed to vote and that would make things better for everyone....milkbones for everyone!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Historical Facts)

 

Angel Got a New Collar and I Didn't!

March 24th 2014 8:16 am
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What does it take to get through to the humans that they have annoyed this dog? Yesterday, Mommy went to the pet store and brought me a salmon stick and a special cookie with frosting on it. Of course, Angel Zoom Smokey got the same thing. However, she was given preferential treatment because she also got a new collar. Supposedly that is why Mommy went by the pet store because she said Angel needed a new collar because the one she had was frayed. I spent the day sulking in the living room and would not enter Mommy's room to spend time with her. Finally, after about 6 hours, Mommy finally realized that I must be upset about something. Why did it take her so long to figure it out? I will just assume it is because most humans are stupid when compared to a dog's advanced intelligence. She knows that we always get the same stuff. When I have a wolfday, Angel gets gifts too, and vice versa. I forgave Mommy when she finally put it together and told me that she would buy me a new collar too if I want one. I kissed her and told her I loved her so it turned out okay. Still, how long does it take for the humans to realize that they have made their dog mad? They wonder why dogs have to bite them sometimes. It is the only way to get through to the really stupid humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Upset Dog)

 

Phantom and I had a Great St. Patrick's Day!

March 22nd 2014 4:28 pm
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I didn't thank dogster for making me a dog of the day earlier this month. I wasn't on the computer for several days so I wouldn't know if some of my pals hadn't sent me gifts and pawmail. I want to conpawtulate my pal, Biscuit for being a diary pick today, and my pal Scooter for being the dog of the week! I am always happy when one of my pals gets a dogster honor!

Mommy stopped by the pet store near our house today, and bought us some salmon jerky. That salmon jerky is delicious. I highly recommend it to all the dogs out there who enjoy salmon.

I have to tell you that Phantom Fast Snowman had a nice St. Patrick's Day. I had a bottle of brandy in my area, and Phantom spent a lot of time with me helping me empty the bottle. Phantom is very nice that way. I do think he got a little silly when he declared that all food that dogs eat should be green, and he is going to wear his beer mug hat year round. When it comes to silliness, I always expect it from Phantom on St. Patrick's Day.

Demon Flash Bandit (Had a Great St. Patrick's Day)

 
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