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Adventures of a lead dog

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Missing Coco Rose

May 19th 2014 11:43 pm
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I have put off writing this entry for a couple of days. Sometimes a sad event happens that even makes it difficult for my secretary to take my dictation. Another one of my friends has crossed over the bridge, and that friend was a shih tzu named Coco Rose. Coco Rose and I had been friends for quite a while and I will miss reading her diary. We dogs just don't get to spend enough time here on Earth with our humans. Yes, I know that we are happy when we cross over the bridge, but who is there to watch out for the humans when we are gone? We all know the humans are too stupid to take care of themselves. We can only hope they can find another dog to show them the way. However, a new dog can never replace that dog who has crossed over. In my life, I have had to say goodbye to my favorite human which is something most dogs never have to do, and I can tell you from my own experience, it is not easy. Therefore, my thoughts and prayers go out to the humans Coco left behind, her brother, Puffy, and her special friend, Hobo. I know I'll see Coco again, but it sure would be nice if Coco never left!

Demon Flash Bandit (Mourning the Loss of Coco Rose)

 

Angel's Planting Eggplant

May 14th 2014 8:14 am
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Thanks to dogster HQ for choosing my dairy as a diary pick today. I also want to conpawtulate my pal, Sir Freckles-Licks-A-Lot for also being chosen.

I do not eat eggs, but Angel Zoom Smokey loves them. She is outside now planting some eggplant seeds. She says she plans to grow her own eggs so that she can enjoy them anytime she is in the mood. I don't think that eggplant is actually eggs, but I'm not going to tell her. Why ruin her fun digging her garden?

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Does Not Eat Eggs)

 

Can Dogs Buy Vodka?

May 13th 2014 8:23 am
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I recently wrote a diary about the ads to the side of the diary I'm writing. That day it was for some hair product for dyed hair (aimed at the humans). I suggested that advertising human stuff on dogster might not be a good idea since we dogs are the ones reading the diary entries. I doubt that the humans even know how to read. My entry must have had some impact because todaqy it is for vodka. I have never drank vodka, but I wouldn't mind giving it a try. I have noticed that it is very popular among the humans so it is probably good. I just hope there is no law against a dog buying it since I think it is illegal for miners to buy it which does not seem fair holding a human's vocation against him!

Yesterday was my brother,William's, birthday. I'm still waiting for my gift!

Demon Flash Bandit (Make it a Double Vodka--Whatever that Means)

 

Can Dogs Buy Vodka?

May 13th 2014 8:23 am
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I recently wrote a diary about the ads to the side of the diary I'm writing. That day it was for some hair product for dyed hair (aimed at the humans). I suggested that advertising human stuff on dogster might not be a good idea since we dogs are the ones reading the diary entries. I doubt that the humans even know how to read. My entry must have had some impact because todaqy it is for vodka. I have never drank vodka, but I wouldn't mind giving it a try. I have noticed that it is very popular among the humans so it is probably good. I just hope there is no law against a dog buying it since I think it is illegal for miners to buy it which does not seem fair holding a human's vocation against him!

Yesterday was my brother,William's, birthday. I'm still waiting for my gift!

Demon Flash Bandit (Make it a Double Vodka--Whatever that Means)

 

Dog Commercial

May 12th 2014 2:29 pm
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Thanks to Walker and family for the trophy cup on my page. I also want to thank Sushi, Freckles-Sir-Licks-a-Lot and the Jo family--Sammy, Toby, Cory, and Jo Jo for each sending me balloons. Now I have a total of 8 bunches and I am able to keep a very keen eye on the evil birds in their natural habitat.

Mommy was sharing some old television commercial jingles with me today, and we came upon one I decided to share with my readers. It has been slightly modified to make it more pertinent to today's dogs. By the way, it is a kid singing my dog is better than your dog. I have not changed those lyrics, but all us dogs are great so don't get the wrong idea. Here is the song:

My dog's better than your dog
My dog's better than yours.
My dog's better cause he eats chicken
My dogs better than yours.

That's because chicken is made from a dead bird
A bird that's no longer heard.
When my Mom goes to the store, she buys a bunch of birds and more

My dog's better than your dog
My dog's better than yours.
My dog's cause he eats chicken,
My dog's better than yours.

Feel free to add bacon to the chicken!

I hope all the moms had a nice MOther's Day--that includes all the fur kid moms!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Eats Chicken)

 

Dogs Can Read !!!!!!

May 11th 2014 8:23 am
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Dogster HQ chose my diary as a diary pick yesterday, and I was so honored that I spent the day partying, and I didn't have time to write a new entry. I'm sure all of my readers understand--a dog has to party when he gets an honor like that!

I see that, as I write this diary, there is an ad on dogster for hair products to use with hair that has been dyed. I hope this is meant for the humans because I am happy with the color of my fur, and I am in no mood to have the humans decide they want to dye it. Isn't it sad that the companies who spend money on advertising on dogster don't understand that humans can't read, and dogs can? This is why the only effective advertising on dogster is for dog products. We dogs can read!

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy With My Fur Color)

 

Beggin' Poppers

May 6th 2014 10:06 am
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Conpawtulations to my pal, Amazing Grace, who was chosen as dog of the week on dogster! I would like to thank Holly for the ladybug on my page. Conpawtulations to my pal, Sir Jack Freckles Licks-A-Lot on his human brother's graduation from the University of Michigan as a bachelor in engineering. I want to state up front that I have already inquired as to whether or not his bro will let me help him drive the train so, if you have the same idea, get in line. I asked first. Of course, I"m sure Sir Freckles will get to be first, but I am second in line. I just hope he doesn't let any of the cats help him. Cats just drive off cliffs.

I just finished writing an important blog on outsourcing for those of you who are concerned about the subject. I'm tired of humans being hired to dig when it is a dog's job.

Mommy bought us some Beggin Poppers, which are delicious. They are in a pig that the humans use to throw them across the room. Throwing treats through the air is the best game the humans ever invented. The poppers are bacon and cheese (cheddar and monterey jack flavors) Just be sure you get the poppers and not the new product on the shelf, poopers. I don't even want to tell you what flavor the poopers are.

Demon Flash Bandit (Beggin' Popper Treats)

 

The Punishment Should Fit the Crime, and I Think My Idea- Does That

May 2nd 2014 8:37 am
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I want to thank my pal, Jack Freckles, Sir-Licks-A-Lot for sending me another bunch of balloons. Now that I have a total of 5 bunches of balloons, the birds are beginning to get nervous which makes me very happy. The only thing better than a scared bird is a dead bird. Notice how poetic that sounds. Obviously the English language was made up by humans who dislike birds.

This dog is angry at a news item I saw today. There is a veterinarian in Fort Worth, Texas who told a dog's humans that the dog was too sick to get better and should be euthanized. The family thought the dog had crossed over the bridge. This dog was not put down, but instead was kept alive to give blood to other dogs. This is inexcusable, but I think I do have the proper punishment for the vet. I think they should lock him up and take blood from him everyday to give to other humans--or to flush down the toilet. Some humans just never learn until they are put through the same experience themselves. By the way, since dogs do occasionally need blood, why not have doggy blood drives. I'm sure many dogs would not mind helping other dogs who are sick.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Bad Human)

 

The Punishment Should Fit the Crime, and I Think My Idea- Does That

May 2nd 2014 8:37 am
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I want to thank my pal, Jack Freckles, Sir-Licks-A-Lot for sending me another bunch of balloons. Now that I have a total of 5 bunches of balloons, the birds are beginning to get nervous which makes me very happy. The only thing better than a scared bird is a dead bird. Notice how poetic that sounds. Obviously the English language was made up by humans who dislike birds.

This dog is angry at a news item I saw today. There is a veterinarian in Fort Worth, Texas who told a dog's humans that the dog was too sick to get better and should be euthanized. The family thought the dog had crossed over the bridge. This dog was not put down, but instead was kept alive to give blood to other dogs. This is inexcusable, but I think I do have the proper punishment for the vet. I think they should lock him up and take blood from him everyday to give to other humans--or to flush down the toilet. Some humans just never learn until they are put through the same experience themselves. By the way, since dogs do occasionally need blood, why not have doggy blood drives. I'm sure many dogs would not mind helping other dogs who are sick.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Bad Human)

 

Demon Flash Bandit: Television Producer

May 1st 2014 10:30 am
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I'd like to thank dogster HQ for choosing my diary entry the second day in a roll as a diary pick. Also, conpawtulations go out to my pal Anya for also being chosen as a diary pick. I also want to thank my pal Mr. Jack Freckles Sir-Licks-A-Lot for sending me another bunch of balloons. The set of 4 is making it easier to spy on the birds in the yard. This is important work since the birds are always up to no good.

Mommy has been watching the television show, How I Met Your Mother, and I like it myself. They have the good sense to have dogs on some of the episodes. Watching this show with Mommy has given me the inspiration to write my own show. It is called, How I Trained my Humans. I thought of naming it "meet" my humans; but as you know, all humans require serious training in order to be good humans for dogs. The show will be entertaining and also informative. A dog can never train the humans too much!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Television Producer)

 
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