I'm BACK!!!!!

I would like to thank my pals Lady and the Tramp for the lips on my page. I also want to thank my pal, Raja, for the heart on my page. As always, I have such wonderful dogster pals, and I'm very greatful to have such wonderful dog pals. I want to apologize to the dogs that asked to be my pal and did not get a response from me. The old pony express computer that my human was using temporarily was having a lot of problems on dogster so I was unable to respond. I suspected it was the old computer and not dogster that was the problem. I suggested to the humans that they buy a new computer, but you know how badly they listen to us dogs. It also kept me from writing my entries and I know how much my pals enjoy hearing my adventures.

Today I am conpawtulating Banana Joe, who is the affenpinscher who won the best in show at the Westminister Dog Show. I do not enter dog shows largely because they expect you to do what the humans tell you to do, and that just goes against this dog's values. Why should I listen to the humans when they are so stupid compared to us dogs? I am happy for Banana Joe, and I hope Joe has a good year and is a great ambassador for us dogs.

I have to go now. I think I smell bacon cooking.

Demon Flash Bandit (Finally Able to Get on Dogster Again)

Impress the Girl Dogs With Garbage Skills

I have been having trouble writing a diary for dogster so I've been using the time to nap because I've discovered that a dog can never get too much sleep. I am going to try to write an entry today because I have something important to share with all the he-man dogs like myself out there. Normally, Angel Zoom Smokey is unimpressed with my behavior, but a couple of days ago, I did something that she finds irresistable. I went into the room where the humans have the computer and the garbage was full. I took my paw and knocked it over and I scattered garbage all over the room. In addition to the cool makeover the garbage accomplished, Angel was very impressed that I was strong enough to carry the garbage can out into the hall. Angel happens to be a very picky girl, so if it impresses her, it will impress any girl dog watching. When you are done, be sure and let her know that it was nothing....you could have done it with 3 paws tied behind your back and a blindfold over your eyes. Then do what we did---play with the garbage!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Garbage Skills)

Puppy Bowl Was GREAT!!!

I'd like to thank my pals, Misty, Scooter, Pepper, and Mr. Cutter for the lovely gift on my page which I think is called a flour (flower) de fancy. I've seen it at historical reenactments so it have been around for a long time. It is translated from the French which means "fancy flower". It was worn by knights, kings, queens, ladies in waiting (I have no idea what they were waiting for) and pages although why the pages in a book would want to wear jewelry is beyond my understanding. However, I think the Three Musketeers used to wear it when they were making and eating their candy bars, and as my pals know, anything that involves candy is loved by this dog!!! Thanks for this very special gift. Since it was a Mardi Gras gift, I am pleased to announce that Mommy brought home from paczis yesterday. The stores now have commercialed this Polish doughnut to the point where you can buy them for weeks now, but the best ones around here are still made at a bakery in Hamtramck, MI, which is part of Detroit. Of course, despite my advice, Mommy will not drive for an hour and a half to get some doughnuts no matter how special they are.

How many people saw that the Puppy Bowl, which was last Sunday was so popular that electricity for the stupid Super Bowl football games was diverted to the Puppy Bowl? Finally the humans made some sense. I don't even know why the humans get so excited over the Super Bowl anyway. Phantom Fast Snowman says that no one cares about the stupid game, but it is about the partying that goes with it. Phantom says that any excuse to drink excessively is important to many of the humans--and to Phantom. As you can see from my page, Phantom likes to pawty, and he tends to go wild at various events. In fact, you can buy the video, Phantom Gone Wild, in which Phantom takes off his Irish shirt on St. Patricks Day. Anyway, as usual, the Puppy Bowl was great!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoyed the Puppy Bowl)

Dogs: Smarter Than the Average Cat

The latest research among the humans is that dogs are smarter than cats. I think this research was a waste of time and money because any dog could have told the humans that. With a short observation of cat behavior, anyone with any sense can tell that they aren't particularly smart. For example, look at how they treat their humans. Humans take care of us pets and buy us good food, treats, and toys. Therefore,when a human walks into the house after an absence, we dogs greet them with the usual dog greeting, which can range from greeting the humans with a wagging tail to knocking them down to kiss them. How does a cat greet the humans? The cat walks away like he could care less about the human, and that the human is lucky he did not run away while the human was gone. If you want to continue getting good stuff, the dog's behavior is the most intelligent. If you want the humans to kick your tail out of the house, act like a cat. Of course, since the humans aren't as smart as us dogs, they usually let the cats get by with their lousy behavior. Most dogs would kick the cats out and eat their cat food because we are smarter than the average cat!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Dog and Cat Intelligence)

Groundhogs and Public Pet Restrooms

I have bad news about the groundhog's prediction. According to our local groundhog, Woody, who lives at the Howell Nature Center, Woody agrees with Punxsutawney Phil that winter will be over soon. Evidently, Woody enjoys a good prediction record so now this dog can only hope that he is wrong. Of course, the stupid humans are happy with Woody. I bet they give him groundhog treats for his prediction. Stupid, tasteless humans!!!

IN the Luohu district in Shenzhen China, 1,000 public pet toilets have been installed for use by dogs and cats. I don't know of many dogs who want to use a toilet so I'm going to assume that only cats are dumb enough to go along with the human's idea of keeping the city clean. Cats are obsessively clean creatures which is why I think most of them need psychiatric care. Dogs, on the other hand, enjoy some good dirt. We know how to have fun and pawty. It is a lot more fun to dig in the dirt than to clean oneself. The cats clean off all the souvenirs (dirt)of their fun. Since the humans here in the United States might come up with a similar idea, how many of my pals would use a public toilet if the cities provided us with one? I'm guessing there won't be many votes to use one.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Knows How to Pawty)

Everyone Poops Except Demon Flash Bandit

I would like to thank dogster HQ for making me a diary pick yesterday. It is always an honor to be chosen! I would like to thank my pal Zoe, for sending me a steak which was delicious. The only thing better than one steak is two steaks so I would like to thank my pals, Duncan Fife and Hamish McDuff for sending me a second steak! Thanks to Pepper CGC for sending me a blue ribbon. I want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they sent me. I also want to thank Abbie for the blue ribbon, and the kind words about enjoying my diary entries.

I wasn't able to write yesterday because I have been busy at the attorney's office. I am suing Fukuinkan Shoten Publishers for slander because they are the original publishers of the book, Everyone Poops. The title is erroneous, and needs to be changed. I want the title changed to Everyone Poops Except Demon Flash Bandit. This is a factual title because I do not poop. I have went into more details on this subject in my blog, www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com

The former first dog, Barney, who owned the family of George W. Bush, died yesterday. Barney was a Scottish Terrier, and I'm sure he will be missed. I have come to the conclusion that dogs do not live long enough. My humans have told me that I have to continue living for a LONG time because they agree with my thinking on the subject.

Punxsutawney Phil, who is the official weather groundhog predicted that there will be only 6 more weeks of winter. He made that prediction on Gobbler's Knob, a hill about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I guess this means that I will be having a little chat with Mother Nature because I think that is way too quick to have winter end when a sled dog is just beginning to enjoy some snow. I'm not a fan of summer!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog In Court)

Bacon is Good!

Step right up puppies to get the latest innovative dog food on the market. Is it kibble? No, it is not! Is it canned food? No, it is not. Is it bacon cooked and packaged just for dogs. Now, finally, the flavor that dogs crave!! Come one and come all for the best flavor of the century. Be sure and tell your humans to buy you the new dog food that every dog loves: Goodbacon. You'll be glad the humans bought it for you!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing New Dog Food)

Dog Food Should be Bacon

I was invited to a dog food company meeting, and I think the humans might finally be making some sense. They were having a meeting about how to make dogs like kibble more. One of the humans said that some dogs don't really enjoy kibble and would prefer human food. I suggested that they wrap the kibble in bacon. That had been tried, and it was found that the dogs were eating the bacon and leaving the kibble. Therefore I went with my original idea and said, "why not wrap bacon in bacon and take the kibble out?" I might add that the bacon without kibble went over very well with dogs in the test group so I hope the humans come to the conclusion--as they should- that they should just feed the dogs bacon and everyone is happy!

Demon Flash Bandit (Getting Dogs to Eat Kibble)

Secret Service Dog Dies on Duty

I would like to thank my pals, Scarlett, Elise, and Anya for the blue ribbon on my page. I always appreciate all the gifts from my wonderful pals. I would like to conpawtulate my pal, Pepper, for being chosen as dog of the week which I discovered upon reading Zoe's diary. I can't see the dog of the week or the daily diary picks. I also need to accept some friends, but I keep having problems with dogster and am unable to do so. If you have sent me a friend request, be patient. I have tried to accept, but have been unable to do so--or send pawmail either. I hope dogster's fleas are eradicated soon. Fleas are so annoying yet all the news ever talks about is bed bugs.

Today I read that a secret service dog died an accidental death while on duty. I think it is ironic that dogs are helping secret service protect the President and Vice-President, but not Bo Obama, the first dog. I hope this is a situation that will soon be changed because this dog things that Bo is part of the first family ever bit as much as the humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sticking up for Bo Obama)

I Have Artistic Integrity

Conpawtulations to my pal, Coco Rose, for being a diary pick today. I would also like to thank dogster for choosing me as a diary pick today. I am in good company with Coco Rose.

I'm sure many of you have heard that there will be a new trilogy of Star Wars movies. My brother Jeff is excited, but Mommy, after having watched the prequel movies doesn't care one way or the other. She was not a fan of the prequels. This is why, when they approached me to play the lead role of Demon the Snow Runner, I turned them down. I would not want to disappoint Mommy in case they are like the prequel, nor would I want to disappoint my public. Sure, I know it was a lot of hamburgers and dingo bones, but I have my artistic integrity to consider.

For those who haven't checked out my blog www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com
my subject today was the humans and their advanced degrees. As a dog, I do get tired of the ones who have Phds bragging about how they can pee in high definition. We dogs pee in high definition every time and you don't hear us barking about it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Artistic Integrity)