Adventures of a lead dog

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Demon Flash Bandit for President!!!

July 5th 2007 6:34 am
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I am so mad this morning, I can barely take a bite of my rawhide bne. First Angel wanted to copy my diary entries. Then yesterday, when I read her diary, flaming rawhide bits were flying out of my nose. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the point---I WAS FURIOUS!!!!!! She announced that she was running for president. Does that puppy ever have an original idea or does she just follow me around trying to steal mine? Then she had the utter nerve to start an Angel Zoom Smokey for President group. I then had to start my own group which is Demon Flash Bandit for President. I don't know why she puts herself in this position. I hate to see her hurt. She just isn't up to the task, and I'm sure all you dogs out there would agree with me.
Be sure and join my group. Feel free to ask me any political questions you have. I'll be more than happy to answer as soon as I finish chewing on my rawhide bone. Wouldn't you prefer a President who has his priorities straight? I know all you dogs out there would agree that there is very little in life more important than a good rawhide bone. Questions can wait.
I hope all you dogs and your families had a nice Fourth of July weekend.
Be sure and join my group. Angel needs to realize that she is clearly unqualified for the job. I'm too upset to write more right now so I'll get back to my diary later.
Demon Flash Bandit (Group Administrator---Demon Flash Bandit for President

 

Fourth of July Surprise

July 4th 2007 7:57 am
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Hello,
I hope all your dogs are enjoying the Fourth of July. For all you silly puppies out there, the hot dogs are okay to eat. They aren't made from dogs---humans just have a stupid sense of humor. Because it is the Fourth of July, I have decided to announce my candidacy for President of the U. S. For all you Dogsters that live in other countries, this could have far reaching effects for you as well. I think that dogs have been discriminated against for too long. We have been put on leashes, fed dog food, and not allowed entry into some of the most fun places on the planet. Why? Because we are dogs. The "man" is always trying to keep us down, and on a leash. Since no doggie lawyers have stepped up to try to help, I've decided to take on the job myself. You might ask yourself why you should vote for me, a dog, to be president. My answer is : what makes you think humans should be running things?
Demon Flash Bandit (Presidential Candidate)

 

July 3rd 2007 9:34 am
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Hi,
I haven't been able to add an entry for a couple of days because I had a few problems. I had this itchy spot that I had to bite and scratch. When Mommy saw blood on my paws and heard me crying, she took me to the emergency vet. (I feel any health problem should occur on Sunday so she has to take me to the 24 hour vet instead of across the street---it adds to the drama.) I am fine. Mommy has to put antibiotic ointment on it so it doesn't get infected. The main problem was I wouldn't let her see it. They sedated me to look at it. Anytime anyone got near, I would growl at them because it hurt. That is why Mommy took me in. She couldn't tell how serious it was because I wouldn't let her see it. Anyway, they sent me home in a silly looking collar to keep me from scratching. I hated that collar, but they said I could go without it if I didn't bother the owie, and I haven't bothered it at all.
Now to get to the serious part of my entry. Angel (yeah, right) Zoom Smokey now has her own page on Dogster. Yesterday she started to write her dairy entry, and I caught her on the computer trying to cut and paste one of my entries and use it as her own. I got mad, and gave her my plagierism speech. Did she understand? No, she said we live under the same roof, why should she have to make up her own dairy when mine is already written. She even planned to make me look like the bad dog. She had this evil laugh when she was at the computer. I knew this would happen if they took a photo of her. I suggested the photo go on E-BAY, but Mommy and the F-ster are attached to her. They are very gullible---remember, they also like birds. Due to my vigilance, she wrote her own entry. I know I'll have to watch her whenever she is on the computer. She will probably try to steal my entries another day when I'm not watching.
UPDATE ON BIRDS: Meagan still isn't home, and the bird is still strutting around the yard. I wonder how proudly he would strut with his head missing--you know like if someone happened to bite it off. Such a nice idea. . . . . .
Demon Flash Bandit (Keeping Angel Honest)

 

I'd prefer candy for dinner.

June 30th 2007 8:59 am
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I was one lucky dog yesterday. Instead of eating the food Mommy offered me, I didn't want it. I ate an entire box of mild duds (the size the theatres sell). It was sheer heaven. The taste of caramel melting in your mouth covered in chocolate. There was one little glitch. Mommy didn't give them to me. I had grabbed them out of a bag from the store. (I inspect all bags that enter the house, and even if Mommy doesn't let me see what is in them, I have an excellent nose for smells.) I hid them under the bed for a couple of weeks until Mommy forgot about them and didn't realize they were missing. Then when no one was around, I ate them. Mommy found me doing it after I had about 10 to go, and the box was in shreds. I think I'm doing Mommy a favor. She knows she needs to lose a few pounds. That is one box of candy that won't keep her fat. Do you think she appreciated my efforts? NO, SHE TOLD ME I WAS A BAD DOG-----A BAD DOG WHO HAD THE BEST DINNER EVER. i did what any smart dog would do. I took a nap. I dreamed about eating mild duds for dinner everyday. It was such a nice dream.
UPDATE ON THE BIRD SITUATION: I still haven't seen Meagan. I don't know what is going on, but I get more worried with each passing day. I wish Mommy would let go of the leash, and I would kill that bird. Of course, I know he wouldn't taste near as good as milk duds.
Demon Flash Bandit (CANDY EATER)

 

I hope skeets are some kind of bird.

June 29th 2007 8:21 am
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I think I know why I haven't seen Meagan. I think they are living in a big vehicle (Mommy calls it a camper). My guess is she is staying in the camper because the birds either bought their house or stole it. Maybe the birds got in and filled it with bird poop so they couldn't live there anymore. Poor Meagan. I hope Mommy makes sure no birds get into our house. I'll do my part. If one gets in here, it will never get out.HAHAHA Meagan's Daddy likes to go skeet shooting. I hope the skeet is some kind of bird. If it isn't, I hope he misses a few, and hits some birds instead. No MOmmy, I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to. I am just typing my diary entry. No, I don't think you want to read it. You know how diaries are---they are filled with a lot of personal stuff and dribble that you wouldn't enjoy reading. Remember that nice magazine you bought last night----yeah that's the one. Did you see the article on BLAH BLAH BLAH? That was a close call. She almost read that I'd like to kill birds. I think she suspects, but I try to keep it quiet because she likes birds. Do they ever learn?
Demon Flash Bandit (Concerned Neighbor)

 

Birds deserve the death penalty---I dont' care what the- humans say

June 28th 2007 8:02 am
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I'm still worried about the situation with the house next door. If that bird bought the place, then it is time to move. I refuse to live next to a bird. Who would want to live next door to such a sickening group? They get up early every morning to sing----and their songs have no lyrics. I guess none of them are songwriters. They sing the same tune over and over. They poop everywhere. I've seen them poop on the windshield of the car. Obviously, they have no manners. They eat worms which is disgusting--okay, maybe that is okay. I've eaten a few annoying bugs myself---but they aren't my main diet. Birds fly around and act like they are the only ones who can which is totally untrue. My brother flies me into the car a lot of daysl They are the inspiration for that stupid "I flew in from___________, and boy are my arms tired. How many times have we heard that stupid joke? It is the birds' fault. It was okay the first time, but after about 2 times it loses its edge--and I've heard ti about 10 million times They steal snow. I know to some of you short haired breeds, you might not care, but to a husky, stealing our snow is a crime worthy of the death penalty. When a dog carries out the death penalty on the birds, his humans usually get all upset. "You kilLed the sweet little bird." PLEASE=====like you have done something wrong. They should be giving you a medal-----and then leave the d out of medal and you have meal---another thing that could be given along with the medal. I've got to find out if that bird owns the house or not. I haven't seen Meagan in awhile; but, like me, she is a house dog so maybe I've just missed her. I sure hope she is still there. I wonder if she is there and the birds broke into the house and are holding her and her family hostage. The possibilites stagger the mind. I've got to take a nap.
Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Detective)

 

Birds deserve the death penalty---I dont' care what the- humans say

June 28th 2007 8:02 am
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I'm still worried about the situation with the house next door. If that bird bought the place, then it is time to move. I refuse to live next to a bird. Who would want to live next door to such a sickening group? They get up early every morning to sing----and their songs have no lyrics. I guess none of them are songwriters. They sing the same tune over and over. They poop everywhere. I've seen them poop on the windshield of the car. Obviously, they have no manners. They eat worms which is disgusting--okay, maybe that is okay. I've eaten a few annoying bugs myself---but they aren't my main diet. Birds fly around and act like they are the only ones who can which is totally untrue. My brother flies me into the car a lot of daysl They are the inspiration for that stupid "I flew in from___________, and boy are my arms tired. How many times have we heard that stupid joke? It is the birds' fault. It was okay the first time, but after about 2 times it loses its edge--and I've heard ti about 10 million times They steal snow. I know to some of you short haired breeds, you might not care, but to a husky, stealing our snow is a crime worthy of the death penalty. When a dog carries out the death penalty on the birds, his humans usually get all upset. "You kilLed the sweet little bird." PLEASE=====like you have done something wrong. They should be giving you a medal-----and then leave the d out of medal and you have meal---another thing that could be given along with the medal. I've got to find out if that bird owns the house or not. I haven't seen Meagan in awhile; but, like me, she is a house dog so maybe I've just missed her. I sure hope she is still there. I wonder if she is there and the birds broke into the house and are holding her and her family hostage. The possibilites stagger the mind. I've got to take a nap.
Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Detective)

 

Birds deserve the death penalty---I dont' care what the- humans say

June 28th 2007 8:01 am
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I'm still worried about the situation with the house next door. If that bird bought the place, then it is time to move. I refuse to live next to a bird. Who would want to live next door to such a sickening group? They get up early every morning to sing----and their songs have no lyrics. I guess none of them are songwriters. They sing the same tune over and over. They poop everywhere. I've seen them poop on the windshield of the car. Obviously, they have no manners. They eat worms which is disgusting--okay, maybe that is okay. I've eaten a few annoying bugs myself---but they aren't my main diet. Birds fly around and act like they are the only ones who can which is totally untrue. My brother flies me into the car a lot of daysl They are the inspiration for that stupid "I flew in from___________, and boy are my arms tired. How many times have we heard that stupid joke? It is the birds' fault. It was okay the first time, but after about 2 times it loses its edge--and I've heard ti about 10 million times They steal snow. I know to some of you short haired breeds, you might not care, but to a husky, stealing our snow is a crime worthy of the death penalty. When a dog carries out the death penalty on the birds, his humans usually get all upset. "You kilLed the sweet little bird." PLEASE=====like you have done something wrong. They should be giving you a medal-----and then leave the d out of medal and you have meal---another thing that could be given along with the medal. I've got to find out if that bird owns the house or not. I haven't seen Meagan in awhile; but, like me, she is a house dog so maybe I've just missed her. I sure hope she is still there. I wonder if she is there and the birds broke into the house and are holding her and her family hostage. The possibilites stagger the mind. I've got to take a nap.
Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Detective)

 

Even cats realize birds are evil

June 27th 2007 12:09 pm
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I still haven't found out if that stupid bird bought the house next door or not. Don't you juet hate it when birds strut around in front of you with that "I can do anything I want to because I'm a bird and I can fly away". Luckily some dogs who aren't on leashes (pay attention Mommy) can rid the world of their evil. Cats understand how evil birds are. Cats are better at getting birds than we are (as a whole---I know there may be individual dogs that are great bird hunters, but cats are fast).
Mommy went to see another movie last night. This time it was Evan Almighty. Of course, they didn't show 2 huskies. What is this world coming to? Giraffes, elephants, alphacas, sheep, chipmunks----NO HUSKIES. I guess the movie would have cost too much if they had to start hiring huskies--or any other breed of dog (they did have one dog). I think it would have been worth adding a few million to the budget. People like to see dogs. I know I do.Mommy said it was a good movie. I have to wait to see it on dvd. Dogs aren't allowed in the theatre. I bet giraffes, elephants, sheep, etc. are. . . . .
Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Philosopher)

 

Did a bird buy the house next door?

June 26th 2007 8:17 am
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There was a bird walking through my neighbor's yard yesterday like he owned the place. My brother said maybe he does. That made me realize that the bird could have bought it with all the money he gets from stealing my snow to sell to the penquins. That is my friend, Meagan's house. She is an adorable cocker spaniel. I don't want to see her homeless because a bird has bought her house. I HATE birds.
Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hater)

 
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