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Adventures of a lead dog

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Happy Halloweeen and watch out for YOUR CANDY

October 31st 2007 8:25 am
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Halloween Day is here. I don't even have to warn Angel. Since the awful day when Mommy decided to try her costume on her, Angel bolts away whenever she sees Mommy pick up the hot dog cosutme. I told her to be particularly vigilent today because Mommy will be extra sneaky. She might even enlist Jeff to help so you have to watch him too. Why do humans think we look cute when we look so ridiculous? By the way, Mommy and Jeff don't usually dress in costume. It doesn't seem fair to me. What do you dogs out there think? Do you little dogs really like to dress up or are you just too small to fight back? For centuries, doggie philosophers have been pondering questions like this. I, being far more practical, think doing some surveys might help answer this question once and for all.

Mommy and Jeff went shopping last night, but the good thing about it was they went to Petco, and got us our favorite doggie cookies--they even had the ones that look like chocolate chip cookies. We also got rawhide bones and squeaky toys. I always enjoy getting the "loot" when they get home.

Angel and I are trying to devise a plan to keep those pesky trick or treaters out of OUR CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Angel wants to give them puppy slaps of justice, but I told her that our humans won't let us get close enough for puppy slaps of justice. Then she said she could develop super powers like the Fantastic Four's stretchy guy, and stretch out her paw and puppy slap them from a distance. I told her that I didn't think her plan was practical because, even if she could get those powers, Mommy or Jeff would notice a furry paw going past them to slap a kid. I have to give her credit though--she is trying to think of a way to save our candy. I think I will give them my scary wolf stare and see if they are too scared to come to the door. I am trying to think of something better because some of those kids dress so scary that they scare me which means it will take a lot to scare them away. I'll let you know tomorrow if we came up with anything that worked so you can use our ideas next year. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Trying to Keep Trick or Treaters from MY CANDY)

 

The Indignities Continue

October 30th 2007 9:01 pm
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Before I start a new topic, I have more information about a subject I covered in yesterday's entry. I have to relate something that I overheard Jeff tell Mommy last night. In the movie, 30 Days of Night (or whatever its silly name is) the huskies didn't die heroically--they just died. He said he made up the heroic part to make Angel and me fell better. I was appalled. How could they just let dogs die for no good reason. Sure, humans died also, but humans could choose to be in the movie. I bet they didn't tell the dogs what part they were going to play. Dogs wouldn't sign on to play in a movie where they die because we dogs aren't as dumb as humans. I don't want to hurt the human's feelings, but that is just the way it is.

Mommy stayed home yesterday. I had to eat left over BK from the refrigerator. I wasn't very happy. Angel ate some ham. BK is not her favorite food anyway. I didn't want ham. I wanted BK, but I wanted it fresh, and I like to go through drive-thru to get it. If Daddy were alive, he wouldn't allow such indignity--micro-waved BK from the day before. What is this family coming to? If they put BK in the freezer section, will Mommy think it is okay to buy it frozen? Let's hope BK never comes frozen.

Halloween is going to be here soon. I think we should pretend we aren't home, and keep all the candy for ourselves. I know Mommy and Jeff won't agree, but they should. Remember, dogs aren't supposed to wear costumes on Halloween or any other day.

Demon Flash Bandit (Non-costumed Dog)

 

Don't go see 30 Days of Night

October 29th 2007 9:45 am
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Angel and I were riding to get our dinner yesterday. Mommy said she doesn't know how getting in the car and going for a ride became how we get dinner. Evidently, for some dogs, it involves a bowl and food, and no car. Angel and I are intrigued over that concept, but decided Daddy's way was the best. Angel said Daddy had to have been a rare genius, and I told her he was great. For some odd reason, Mommy says something about Daddyspoiling dogs rotten. Angel and I are looking for the spoiled dogs, but we haven't found them yet. They must be hiding somewhere. Anyway, we were on our way to Arbys, and we got in a slight disagreement over who should sit in the front seat-okay on the console between the seats because our brother, William was sitting in our front seat. I don't know who allowed him to sit up front when there are 2 back seats for him. Anyway, William had the nerve to tell us that he isn't going to put up with us fighting in the car, and if we don't cut it out, we will have to stay home. He has nerve. Angel puppy slapped him and she gave him her scary wolf look the whole way there and back, and it didn't do any good. I'm sure Mommy will realize how rotten William is and make him stay home. We are always having to babysit for him, and he is 24, and he should be able to take care of himself. The things we dogs have to put up with.............

To make matters worse, Mommy and Jeff went to the theatre where Mommy saw Dan in Real Life. Jeff chose to see a horror movie called 30 Days of Night. Mommy warned him that we wouldn't like it because it takes place in Alaska, and all us huskies know that Alaska is a wonderful place. Anyway, when he got out of the movie, he told Mommy some huskies DIED in the movie. I think this movie should not only be banned but as long as it is in the theatres, dog owners should be picketing with signs that warn people not to see it. Jeff was given a stern lecture from both Angel and me for watching such garbage. He said the dogs were heroes. We think the humans should have died heroically protecting the dogs. Now I"ve got to go and write a movie script. I'm calling it 30 Days of Not Killing any Huskies. What is Hollywood coming to?............

Demon Flash Bandit (Screenwriter)

 

Good Dogs Follow Orders

October 28th 2007 8:48 am
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I had to wake up from my nap to write this dairy entry. I am still trying to decide if it was worth getting up for. Mommy was giving Angel and me some instructions on what not to do this morning. I'll give you a run-down: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH and then Jeff added BLAH BLIB BLIB BLAH. I would wonder if I heard wrong, and I did. I checked with Angel and Jeff actually said: BLAH BLAB BLAB BLAH. We discussed the instructions at length and here is our translation into dog: HOWL WOOF WOOF HOWL, and HOWL, YAP YAP HOWL. Now to translate dog into English: Do Whatever you want. You dogs are wonderful. We have proceeded to do whatever we want to do today. It is no wonder that Angel and I love living here so much. Angel is in the hall--she mentioned something about Mommy wanting her to create a puddle. I guess Mommy appreciates creativity. I hope she just creates a puddle and not a flood.

Mommy said I was cute when I was sleeping because I was holding a squeaky toy hamburger. I think that I would look cute no matter what I hold or don't hold.

It is gettting a bit cooler outside (and inside). Let's give a Husky Howl for the cooler weather.

I've got to get back to my nap. If I don't get at least 20 hours of sleep a day, I get really grouchy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Carefully Follows Mommy's Instructions)

 

I Would Not Attend a Baby Shower.

October 27th 2007 7:09 pm
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Mommy went to a baby shower today, and I am still trying to understand the concept. Evidently, she drove an hour and a half from here to go to a shower when we have 2 of them here in our house. Humans wonder why we dogs think they are nuts. I might add that although there are 2 showers in the house, I have no love for getting a bath in either of them. If you asked a dog to a shower, you would have no guests because no sensible dog would show up willingly for a shower. We would have to be dragged in barking and biting. I wanted to go with Mommy. I love going bye bye, and I could just sit in the car and let the humans get the shower. How long can a shower take?

I had a nice day with Jeff. Men supposedly aren't supposed to go to showers. Men must be smarter than women. I heard Mommy tell Jeff that they played Baby Bingo, and Jeff said men probably banned themselves from showers. He didn't seem impressed with the idea of playing that game. Being a male myself, I can relate to him. I wouldn't want to play puppy bingo. Angel might. Being a girl, she gets a little silly at times.

Mommy put the Halloween stuff for the trick or treaters in bags last night. Angel and I were watching, and our looks of disaproval didn't seem to register. I still see no excuse for children stealing our candy on Halloween. I asked Mommy why they are taking candy from dogs, and Mommy said they aren't stealing. She likes giving it to them. Why is she so stingy giving candy to me? It doesn't make sense to me. I wonder if what the humans do will ever make sense to the Deemster. Oh well, I love them anyway.

I hope you dogs and your families are having a good weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Hates Showers)

 

Dreams

October 26th 2007 9:51 am
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I have been napping all morning. I have some serious dreams to dream. Why don't humans sleep more? It is a lot more interesting that being awake. I do manage to wake up for the important stuff--like if MOmmyis heading out the door, I"ll wake up for that. I wouldn't want to miss an opportunity to go bye bye. Today I decided I'd cover the topic of dreams. I'll start with the bad ones called nightmares--these involve scary things like dressing a dog in a costume for Halloween. Good dreams involve all your favorite food, snow and ice, and lots of squeaky toys and dingo bones. I don't tend to daydream because, since I'm a dog, I can sleep anytime I want. You humans might be a lot happier if you were dogs. I've observed you humans. Most of the time, you aren't having any fun. I'd suggest a good nap.

Mommy tried once again to put a Halloween costume on Angel. You should have seen her zooming around the house to avoid it. She really hates costumes. I am still hoping that MOmmy won't be giving our candy away. Maybe if I sit in the window and look mean, it will scare the kids off. I'll use my scary "wolf" look.

I will be such a great president. When a problem arises, I will take a nap and dream a solution. Remember to vote for me.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dreamer)

 

Why does Mommy give out my candy?

October 25th 2007 10:34 am
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I was just laughing at Angel's post on the Husky Heaven group. There is a contest involving dogs being dressed in Halloween costumes. Angel wrote to express her total disapproval of the contest, Halloween costumes in general, and suggested a contest called "photos of husky tails running away from the Halloween costume" which both of us think would be a far more popular contest. Halloween should be a great holdiday since it involves my favorite food item---candy. Mommy is planning to put the trick or treat stuff in little Halloween bags which is a total waste of time since Angel and I don't care if our treats are bagged or not. I had to explain to Angel that Mommy has been giving the candy away to kids in the neighborhood on past Halloweens, and I'm hoping she has more sense this year. Angel was horrified. She couldn't believe that Mommy would give away our candy. She doesn't even ask us if we care--she just gives out the candy. I'm already drooling over the Milky Way and Snickers. Angel said it is okay to give out the play dough the little parachute guys the little "lunch boxes" of candy we don't like", and the Doritos, but not the candy. I was chatting with another dog, and their humans also give out candy. It must be some sort of human mental illness that strikes on October 31. Last year Jeff had to take me inside because I was outside so I could enjoy the children. Normally I love children, but then I saw Mommy giving away MY CANDY, and I got very upset. That is when Jeff took me inside. Wouldn't any self respecting dog want to run after the little theif who took his candy? Now I know why I've heard the expession "taking candy from a baby". It must have been a dog who is getting his candy back from the little theif. I can't believe human society would allow kids to steal candy just because it is "Halloween". When do dogs get to go out and get candy? If we have costumes on (which the humans are trying to push), shouldn't we get candy from everyone in the neighborhood too? When I become President, dogs will get to go trick or treating, and those humans better give us candy. Happy Howl-oween!

Demon Flash Bandit (Victim of Crime)

 

Don't keep me waiting on my food.

October 24th 2007 6:47 am
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I was so happy to get Burger King yesterday. I couldn't believe Mommy would make me miss a day of drive thru. I know it happens on Christmas. I have no idea why they think they should close the restaurant--like Demon Flash Bandit doesn't get hungry because it is Christmas. Mommy usually gets me some the day before and refrigerates them, but it just isn't the same as getting them fresh at drive thru. I love the whole experience--the ride to the restuarant, the employees talking to me (they love the Deemster), and even the fun of blowing the horn when they are too slow. I have no idea why it embarrasses Mommy when Angel and I do that, but we both know how to blow the horn, and sometimes you have to let the employees know that you are very hungry. Now they know we can do that, and they think it is funny unless there is a new employee who hasn't met us yet and then Mommy explains it to them. I have no idea why--if they were faster, we wouldn't have to blow the horn, would we? Angel isn't as fond of BK as I am, but she has tried to jump out of the car and into the window to help them. She does love the oreo shakes. Mommy and Jeff let us have what is left of theirs (like those pigs leave us much) and we both love them. I would like to know why they have combo meals, kid's meals, and big kid's meal, but no doggie meals. I should call their corporate offices and ask about that.

Mommy went to see the movie, Across the Universe last night. I asked if there were dogs in it, and she said no. I wonder why they bother to make a movie without dogs in it.

I need to close with a serious note--I hope the fires in southern CA will be under control today. Mommy has relatives and friends who live there, and I have pals here on dogster. Phoebe, I hope you are okay. Perhaps if all you dogs could pee on it at the same time, it might help. Its too bad you don't have the help of Angel. We don't call her Puddles without reason. HAHA

Until tomorrow.........

Demon Flash Bandit (I Honk the Horn on the Car Because I Love BK)

 

Happy Birthday Jambalaya

October 23rd 2007 10:32 am
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I want to wish Jambalaya a happy Gifts and Treats Day (translation: birthday-what's a birthday without gifts and treats). Hold out for candy. If your humans refuse to give it to you, make them feel guilty with sad faces. It isn't hard to wrap the humans around your paw.

Yesterday Mommy got some stupid idea about eating at home, and I didn't get Burger King. I refused to eat all day. I refused both ham and roast beef. I wanted Burger King. Mommy should have been worried about me and she should have rushed me to drive-thru, but she didn't. She said I could eat what she had. I have my standards. Of course, last night she found my stash of dog cookies. Why does Mommy always find things like that? Now she doesn't think I'm about to starve. How can she not be worried? It was only one bag of Halloween dog cookies. I have always had a fondness for Burger King. However, don't take me to McDonalds---their burgers don't meet the Demon Flash Bandit standards. Mommy says I am way too picky for a dog. I don't know why she says that. I just happen to know what I like, and I like Burger KIng. I think I should be on their commercials. Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, give Demon the meat, forget the stupid bun. I only like buns when they are old and hard like a dog biscuit from Burger King....you get the idea. I'm sure the humans would eat there more if it met my approval. I am far pickier than most humans.

The good news is that Mommy isn't planning to eat at home today so its Burger King for the Deemster. YEAH. Mommy tried to put Angel's hot dog costume on yesterday, and it didn't happen. Angel saw the hot dog coming and wouldn't cooperate. I didn't think it was possible that a dog could be even more un-cooperative than me, but Angel has me beat. I wanted to see her wear the hot dog. I'm sure she would be adorable. Besides, I don't want them to decide to dress me as a hot dog.

I've got to get back to my napping. I hope all of you have a good day, and that goes out particularly to my pal, Jambalaya.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who LOVES Burger King)

 

I Get the Dundee Award.

October 22nd 2007 8:08 am
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Mommy said it was a nice day yesterday--a lot she knows--I didn't see even one snowflake. Mommy and Jeff went to see a movie, Comebacks. Mommy said it was funny. I might have enjoyed it too, but I had to babysit. I think Angel Zoom Smokey is a vacuum cleaner. I know some of you are probably asking why I would say that about Angel. Mommy bought us Arby's roast beef and Angel didn't savor the flavor or enjoy the food. She "vaccuumed: it down. She is quite a good vacuum cleaner. I haven't seen food vacuumed like that since Mommy gave Flash (the bunny) lettuce.

Angel got into trouble several times yesterday. First, she "ate" a new pair of leather shoes, then she found a belt, but Mommy caught her with it before she could do any damage. Then she got Mommy's "The Office" squeeze ball of Dwight's head. Luckily, she was also caught with that. Mommy has no idea why she is so fascinated with chewing leather. Mommy also can't understand our love of "The Office". What's not to enjoy? It is a great show. The reason Mommy knows we love it (in addition to Angel with the Dwight item is that she has found both me and Angel with the DVD, and we both have gotten the Dundee award and the Booblehead out of the box they came in. Mommy bought the special set, and we discussed it, and Angel said the "gifts" must be for us. It makes sense to me.

I'd better get back to my nap. I was about to take the Oath of Office, but we had to stop the ceremony for a MIlkbone Break.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dundee Award Winner)

 
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