Adventures of a lead dog

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Commentary on News Headlines

May 10th 2008 9:27 am
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There are some internet news headlines that are just barking out for a dog to comment on. Before I start with the headlines. The Furminator is flashing their ad on dogster which I am viewing as I write this. The photo is of a handsome dog who is either a husky or malamute. I would like to say that I can understand why they picked our breed because they are trying to please the women (I supposed Johnny Depp wasn't available--I hear all the women talk about how handsome he is. Personally I don't see it although I do approve of his hairstyle and the fact that he is trying to grow fur. So few humans can grow fur all over their bodies. They look so sad in their fur-less bodies.) Anyway, back to the subject, a lot of dogs shed so I just want to point out that we arent the only dogs who shed, and don't get any ideas of shaving us like those poodles who look so silly. Why do you think a lot of poodles are so snooty? They are just hurt from being made fun of by all the other dog breeds. I know some people who have a poodle mutt, and they shave her all over. She is a totally bald dog. I really feel sorry for her.

Now for the internet news headlines. San Diego has made the news twice today. There was something about an explosion in a courthouse there, and another over an anti-illegal alien group wanting a highway sign. There was also a big drug bust at the San Diego University recently. At first, I decided to think like George W. and I came up with a relationship between the stories since they are all from the same place. The group that is anti-illegal alien has formed because all the aliens are on drugs. The illegal aliens got high and decided to blow up the courthouse because they are terrorists. Therefore all aliens should be shot on sight just in case they are illegals. If they happen to have a green card in their pocket, oops. Now that I've given you the official George W. stance on the news, I will give you an intelligent perspective from Demon Flash Bandit. Why do you need an anti-illegal alien group? I think the whole definition of illegal means they aren't supposed to be here in the first place. I think the problem will soon be solved, and I give the W. full credit for this one---it won't be long until the U. S. citizens in San Diego will be heading across the border for a higher standard of living in Mexico. I do think much of the problem in San Diego (from what I've heard) is that aliens can come there to work and go home at night which will tend to cause resentment among the regular citizens who happen to be unemployed. I understand that people are just trying to make a living, but they tend to be silly and get mad at each other instead of putting a dog like me in office who has the brains to fix the situation. See what happens when you let the humans run things too long!!!! Personally, San Diego is so close to the border of Mexico that is is almost part of Mexico anyway. Detroit is on the border of Canada, and you don't hear the people here getting upset when the Canadians come over the border. Mommy came here from Georgia, and Canada is much closer to Michigan than it is to a lot of the other 49 states. By the way, if this southern CA place is such a paradise, there would be a lot more snow there. I think the birds there have stolen all their snow. I think the people there should be more concerned with the theft of their snow than with the other issues.

There was also a headline about a lady in Arkansas who is having her 18th child. I don't even know why this has made the news. My Mommy has had far more than 18 puppies, and you don't see her in the news. Is there no end to the prejudice against us dogs? Let a humans have 18 kids and it is newsworthy---BIG DEAL!!!! I bet she didn't have 8 or 10 at a time. The humans are so egotisitcal. They make a big deal out of everything.

I hope you dogs are having a good weekend, and don't forget to hug your Mommys tomorrow.

Demon Flash Bandit (Keeping Dogs Up-Dated on the News)

 

Happy Mother's Day!!!

May 9th 2008 5:27 pm
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I would like to take the time to thank Sam for the star, and also to thank Samoa and Savvy who are planning a rally for me at the Pier next week. It is very important that you vote for the right person. The minority decided the person who is in office now, and look what a mess the world is in. It is bad enough you keep putting humans in, but why did the Republican party decide to run one of the dumbest of the human species? I know humans will never be as smart as us dogs, but George W..... really, whose bright idea was it to run him? I suppose the humans out there are a lot more trusting than I am. I am always amazed that people seem surprised about the rising cost of gas. The man has to get it up there before he leaves office and loses control of the situation. I will run things a lot differently than George W. when I get into office. I happen to have more brains in one of my paws than he has in his whole body.

I hope all the dogs out there have a good weekend, Be sure an give your human Mommys big kisses and hugs because Sunday is Mother's Day, and we are so lucky to have nice Mommys.

Demon Flash Bandit (Hoping all Mommy Have a Good Mother's Day)

 

Racing

May 8th 2008 2:36 pm
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Mommy just brought me dinner--grilled chicken. I told her to go to Burger King, but that silly Angel actually prefers grilled chicken. I told you dogs that she was silly. Anyway, since I had to wake up from my nap to eat, I might as well write my entry so I can get it done and go back to my nap.

Several of my pals have asked me about the whole horse race situation. Some people think that the horse races are not humane to the horses. This is something that I have to think about because huskies have their own races. We huskies do enjoy running, and I suspect that the horses might even like it. I hate to say that running a race is wrong. Some people even enjoy running in races. I think the problem becomes when their is a large monetary sum for winning. Some of the owners care more about winning the prize, and if the animals happen to die, they will take chances with the animals that they wouldn't take if money weren't involved. I'm sure some of the owners do care about their animals, but there are always people who are rotten. Look at the whole puppy mill situation. There are a lot of responsible breeders who love their animals, but there will always be some people who care more about money and they will do things they shouldn't do to get it. I don't know if the whole sport should be banned, but perhaps there could be punishments for those who go overboard trying to win, and hurt the animals in the process. There are some stupid humans who are so competitive they will do anything to win even if money isn't involved. Thank goodness there are a lot of good humans who do watch out for us animals. Thanks to those of you who care.

I will give this matter a lot of thought before I have an official campaign stance on it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Horses are My Friends)

 

I Should Be A TV STAR

May 7th 2008 6:42 pm
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I think it is about time I, Demon Flash Bandit, have my own variety hour on tv. I think it would be a big hit. I happen to be very entertaining. I can have the Howling Huskies perform, and I think that Samoa Sunnybear Belle's raggae group would also be willing to make guest appearances. Perhaps they might even want to be a regulars. Angel Zoom Smokey could appear--if she is a good puppy and stays out of trouble. I think it would be a great show. It would also give me the opportunity to run my Presidential campaign without having to actually pay for tv time. I have mentioned in past entries how I told Mommy to go take a couple of million out of the bank for me to run my campaign, and she said she didn't have a couple of million to take out. Because of Mommy's lack of wealth, I have to come up with more ingenious methods to get the word out about my campaign. As it is, I can't get into the debates. The candidates are afraid to go up against a dog of my intelligence. George W. kept asking someone to tell him the meaning of the word degate. Someone told him it was "De Gator", and that idiot believed him. There is no end to the fun you can have fooling George W. with words to which most people know the meaning. McCain then bopped him in the head. I wish I could have gotten that on film. I know a lot of people who would laugh at that. I could have entered that in a film festival, and it would have won best picture.

Be sure and write the networks (including cable) to let them that Demon Flash Bandit should have a variety hour.

Demon Flash Bandit (Potential TV Star)

 

Jeff Left Without Permission---AGAIN!!!!

May 6th 2008 4:19 pm
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Mommy just got back home with Burger King. Life is good. I'd like to thank Katie and Raja for the special gifts they have given me the past couple of days. Sometimes I forget to thank the dogs who give me special gifts, but I always appreciate all the gifts I receive.

It is one of those "beautiful spring days" which makes a husky really mad to see the lovely winter weather disappearing. I doubt that we will have any more snow this year, and that really makes me mad. I bet Alaska still has snow. Does my Mommy want to move to Alaska? No, she doesn't. How can they let people run things when they don't even have the common sense to love snow?

Jeff is out with a friend. He didn't get my (or even Angel's) permssion again today. It was okay that Mommy went out because Mommy had to have an MRI done. Angel and I allow occasional medical related outings, but Jeff gets all silly and thinks it is okay for him to go out for no good reason.

I have to go, and do my watch at the window for Jeff to come home. He has been gone at least 10 minutes. Shouldn't he be home by now?

Demon Flash Bandit ( Dog Who Thinks Jeff Should Ask a Dog's Permission)

 

We Need a Doggy Hero

May 5th 2008 6:34 pm
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Mommy and Jeff went to a movie last night called Iron Man. The main problem I have with this movie is that Iron Man is the super hero and he isn't a dog. I could understand if the movie were Iron Dog. A dog super hero is something that makes sense. Mommy and Jeff both said it was a good movie. I do have to question their taste. Iron Man didn't even have a dog to help him. Can you believe a human could actually be smart enought to build a robotic outfit without a dog's help? I don't believe it. I live with humans, and they are pathetic. I am going to call some Hollywood producers and ask them why there aren't more doggy super hero movies. It is about time we got credit for saving the world. The humans don't even know the birds cause global warming. How can they save the world? They can barely microwave their dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Thinks Dogs are Super)

 

Bird Suicides

May 4th 2008 9:08 am
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My pal, Rosie wrote to me with a common problem. There was an easily accessible bird, but her Mommy told her not to hurt it. This is a common problem for us dogs, but one that is easily remedied. Do not kill this bird (at least not when the humans are looking). Wait until they can't see you, then pounce on the bird, and kill it, but do it very neatly without leaving any teethmarks. When the humans questions what happened, it was a very unhappy bird that committed suicide. Be sure the bird leaves a note. Make the bird write one before you kill it. Tell it that a note will make it a quick painless death, but not leaving one will make it a painful death. Birds always fall for it. Of course, without a note, it isn't wise to kill it because the humans might get suspicious. Luckily for us dogs, the birds are too stupid to know this. One final note, make sure there are no video cameras recording you because those can get a dog into trouble. Good luck with the bird killing!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Are Evil)

 

Ninja Turtles vs. Pokemon

May 3rd 2008 10:19 am
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Have any of you dogs noticed how human children will play with very odd toys? There is this toy called Pokemon. I think it goes around poking people. I actually have no idea what it does, but that is the connotations I get from the name. Jeff isn't into Pokemon probably because he is 22 years old. I think he actually thinks he is superior because his age group wasn't into Pokemon. Of course, he is so superior---NOT. I guess he doesn't realize how silly his toys were. He had a bunch of toys called NINJA TURTLES. Yes, turtles in a "half shell" which were taught ninja skills by a RAT. I think the young children today will grow up okay despite the whole Pokemon thing. I must admit, I'm not fond of Polemon, but then again, my idea of toys it to rip them apart. I love my toys, but there is always a silly plush thing that has eaten my squeaky. The squeaky is the real toy--not the stupid stuffed piece of fabric.

I hope all the dogs reading this have a wonderful weekend. I know I plan to.

Demon Flash Bandit (I Do Actually Prefer Ninja Turtles)

 

You can Help Fight IMHA--an Awful Doggy Disease

May 2nd 2008 9:03 am
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Normally I only write one entry a day, but I think this merits a second entry. My pal, Angel Mica died of IMHA. Her Mommy has been working on raising money to raise awaremess of this awful doggy disease that can affect any dog out there. I am not asking for money, but if my doggy pals can take a little of your time, if you could as Angel Mica to be your pal and corral Mica. Mica has to be first. Then ask Mirra to be your pal, and corral her, and then finally do the same for The Purple Girls of Oregon. This needs to be done by May 30. It is a contest, and if they get the most pals and get corralled the most, they get some money to help fight this awful disease which has taken so many of our doggy pals. It would be nice if you could also ask your doggy pals to do the same. Thanks for your help. All 3 dogs are linked in Lena Malik's diary entry which was diary of the day today.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Cares)

 

Alaska Night at Samoa's Pier

May 2nd 2008 8:51 am
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It is Friday which means that a lot of you dogs will be looking foward to a weekend of fun with your humans. I am particularly looking forward to Alaska Night at Samoa's Sea Serpent Sighting Pier. Every dog who attends has a fantastic time there. Since I'm a husky, Alaska Night is something I know I'm going to love.

I'm hoping Mommy will go with me and have a great time at Alaska Night. She needs something to make her happy since it is one of those bad anniversaries. My human brother died 6 years ago. I'm sure he is healthy and happy, and I bet he misses Mommy too. I will have to make sure I do a lot of funny things today to make Mommy laugh. Fortunately, Mommy prefers to laugh.

I hope all you dogs have a wonderful weekend, and make sure your humans don't get into any trouble.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Approves of Alaska Night)

 
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