Adventures of a lead dog

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Salute to Military Dogs Who Gave Their Lives.

May 26th 2008 11:12 am
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It is Memorial Day so I want to take a moment to salute all the dogs who have given their lives in the military. The humans don't mention it much, but there have been many brave dogs who have assisted the soldiers. Of course, it is important to remember the humans who have died, but don't forget that there have been dogs also. We have always been there for the humans, and we always will be there for the humans--even if it does endanger our lives.

Demon Flash Bandit (Salute to Dogs in Uniform)

 

Sequels to Snow Dogs and Underdog

May 25th 2008 9:12 am
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I want all the dogs out there to start barking for a sequel to Snow Dogs and Underdog. Underdog didn't just catch one villian and stop. There can be many sequels to that movie. I would also like to see more adventures of those nice dogs in Snow Dogs. Cuby Gooding doesn't seem to be very busy these days, and I'm sure he would enjoy being knocked down by Demon, the husky. He could even potentially win an Oscar for the actor knocked down most by a dog in a movie. There is no way he could win best actor since that would go to one of the dogs. There are so many movies that the studios spend lots of money producing, and a lot of them don't even include us dogs. Indiana Jones has a new movie out and it involves a crystal skull. Indiana was his dog's name so why is the human starring in this movie? All the movies could have been about a dog professor/archeaologist who trots around the globe searching for antiquities. Can you imagine how much better most movies would be if dogs were in the leading roles instead of humans? Forrest Fido, Lord of the People Food, Chronicles of Malamutes, The Great Sled Race, Saturday Night Bath, My Big Fat St. Bernard Wedding, and Mr. Beagle's Vacation are just a few examples of movies that could have been even better had they cast dogs instead of humans. I think Wishbone showed that a dog can do anything he wants. Wishbone was a very talented actor. I bet he didn't win any Academy Awards because they are all rigged to go for humans. This prejudice has got to stop, and it will when I become President. Remember to vote for me.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants Sequels)

 

Forget Pooh--Get a Real Dog

May 24th 2008 10:19 am
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I saw a book about a bear called Winnie the Pooh. I don't think he is a good example of the bear species since he wears a jacket, and I don't think any self respecting bear wears clothing. In fact, I don't think there are many humans who would want to try to dress a real bear. He had some friends that seem a bit odd too. I never thought rabbit, pigs, and donkeys would want to be pals with a bear. I won't even bother mentioning that tiger issue since most of them are in zoos. I wonder if Pooh is actually a stuffed toy bear that the boy pretends is a real bear. If so, that boy needs a dog. A dog can play with the boy, and they can have real adventures together--not just made up ones. I think it is great that boys and dogs can have so much fun together. I'm not leaving the girls out. Girls and dogs have adventures also. I say forget about Pooh and go for the real thing--a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs are Fond of Children)

 

Acme Run By Birds?????

May 23rd 2008 8:40 am
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I think naps are vitally important to the sanity of all us dogs. The humans don't tend to take naps, and look at how they act---I rest my case. Obviously, I have just won the argument that naps are wonderful. They give you a chance to relax, and they give a dog the energy needed to tackle the tough assignments--whatever they may happen to be. I have gotten some of my best ideas when I was asleep. In fact, that is when I thought ot the invisible paint idea. Of course, I would have invented it myself until I found out it was already invented, and on the Coyote's Acme web-site. Imagine my disappointment when I ordered several gallons of the paint, and it has yet to arrive. Acme says it is on back-order, but that was a month ago. My pal, Alley has invented a bird zapper, and it would be very useful to have the paint to make the bird zapper easier to use. In case you are wondering if the bird would get suspicious if a zapper is moving toward it by itself. I have only one answer for that. No, the birds don't get suspicious. They aren't called bird brains as a compliment. I think all us dogs need to get onto the Acme company and find out why no one is getting the invisible paint they ordered. I am beginning to wonder if the company is cheating us dogs. They actually haven't been very helpful to the Coyote. Do you think Acme might stand for Allbird Criminals Managingmore Evil? I bet the whole Acme company is run by birds!!! The roadrunner is a bird, and he is constantly annoying that wonderful, kind coyote. I think there should be a Congressional Investigation into the Acme Company. I will push for that when I become President. Until then, continue complaining to Acme until we get our invisible paint.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not Fooled by Birds)

 

Vote for Me

May 21st 2008 5:56 pm
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As most of you know, the Presidential campaign is heating up, and I am the underdog. I think being the underdog is a good thing. It sure beats being the underhuman. Anyway, I want all you dogs to know that I am planning to run a clean campaign. Even if I wanted to sling mud, Mommy gets mad if you do that in the house anyway, and you know how silly the humans are about such things. The other candidates are okay, but remember, they are human. To get the proper representation, you need to be represented by a dog. I know our issues, and I will work my hardest in between naps to make sure that this country becomes more dog friendly. The years of dog discrimination will end under my watch. I promise that you can have high hopes for the future with Demon Flash Bandit as President. Yeah for dogs and down with birds.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Will Make a Brighter Future for Dogs)

 

Critic of TV

May 20th 2008 10:56 am
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I want to know why so many tv shows feature humans instead of dogs. Even the newscasters are human. I've never watched the news and been informed of the day's events by a dog. What is going on in the world of tv when so few dogs are being used. Sure, there is the occasional Lassie or The Morry Show (or whatever the dog's name was) which the humans called Mad About You. There is no doubt in my mind that the dog was the star of the show. Did he get the proper credit? No he did not. I want some answers from the tv executives. There a plenty of us dogs watching tv, and seeing those commercials. I am going to start boycotting all the products that advertise and only have humans on the show. That's right. I'm not going to eat any dog food until I see more dogs on tv. I will have to sacrifice and eat Burger King, but that is the kind of sacrifice this dog is willing to make in order to get more dogs on tv. If dogs all over the country would start eating at Burger King and quit eating dog food, the tv executives would be forced to put on more dog shows. I think a show with only dogs would be great. That would be a show worth watching.

Demon Flash Bandit (TV Critic)

 

Critic of TV

May 20th 2008 10:56 am
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I want to know why so many tv shows feature humans instead of dogs. Even the newscasters are human. I've never watched the news and been informed of the day's events by a dog. What is going on in the world of tv when so few dogs are being used. Sure, there is the occasional Lassie or The Morry Show (or whatever the dog's name was) which the humans called Mad About You. There is no doubt in my mind that the dog was the star of the show. Did he get the proper credit? No he did not. I want some answers from the tv executives. There a plenty of us dogs watching tv, and seeing those commercials. I am going to start boycotting all the products that advertise and only have humans on the show. That's right. I'm not going to eat any dog food until I see more dogs on tv. I will have to sacrifice and eat Burger King, but that is the kind of sacrifice this dog is willing to make in order to get more dogs on tv. If dogs all over the country would start eating at Burger King and quit eating dog food, the tv executives would be forced to put on more dog shows. I think a show with only dogs would be great. That would be a show worth watching.

Demon Flash Bandit (TV Critic)

 

Foul vs. Fowl

May 19th 2008 11:52 pm
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I'm finally got the paw mail answered. The computer was giving trouble. I blame it on the birds. Have you noticed that when a person is murdered, the police suspect foul play? Foul sounds just the same as fowl which is another word for birds. Why can't the humans see how evil the birds are? They aren't fooling Demon Flash Bandit or the rest of the dogs out there.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hater)

 

Tree Jumping and Birds Almost Dying--Almost Perfect Day

May 18th 2008 9:01 am
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I had such a fun time yesterday when I was out with Mommy. Angel and I came up with a new, fun game. There was a small tree within the reach of our leashes, and we would jump up to see if we could get some leaves. Life doesn't get any more fun than that. On the way home, a stupid bird flew in front of the car, and Mommy almost hit it. It would have been so great if she had hit the stupid, evil bird. I was personally rooting for the car, but that stupid bird got away. I hope he flies in front of another car, and gets what he deserves. Birds are the worst thing on the planet.

I have to make this short. I"ve been having trouble answering my paw-mail. I don't know if it is Mommy's internet service or dogster, but the respond thing didn't seem to work yesterday. Hopefully, it is okay today so if I owe you a paw-mail and you haven't heard from me, that is the reason. I've got to try to answer the paw-mail after I write this.

I hope all the dogs out there are having a great weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Exhausted Dog)

 

Human Celebrities--No Dogs

May 17th 2008 7:05 pm
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Jeff has went to a Comic Convention for the past 2 days. He worked yesterday, and I had to babysit William. Today he went, and I got to ride there with Mommy. Angel and I got to play and have a great time waiting in the parking lot. I, as usual, was a perfect dog, but Angel got into a bit of trouble. Her collar came off, and she took off, but she came back in a couple of minutes. Mommy was really worried for a minute there. I got into the car so Mommy could go get Angel. I told Angel she is a bad dog, but Mommy was just glad she came back.

Meanwhile Jeff met celebrites and got some autographs. He got Mommy an autograph of Mickey from the Monkees. I'm not believing that Monkeys are smart enough to write. I think we dogs are a lot smarter than monkeys. They didn't have any important celebrites there. I could name many more important celebrities---Demon from Snow Dogs, Max from Eight Below (I believe it is the same dog), Underdog, Hooch, from Turner and Hooch, and Shasta from Snow Buddies to name a few. I guess they are too important and are way too busy to show up at a show like that.

We had Burger King for dinner. YEAH!!! Angel and I have both been napping. We had a very busy day.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Had A Fun Day)

 
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