Adventures of a lead dog

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Vote for Me

May 21st 2008 5:56 pm
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As most of you know, the Presidential campaign is heating up, and I am the underdog. I think being the underdog is a good thing. It sure beats being the underhuman. Anyway, I want all you dogs to know that I am planning to run a clean campaign. Even if I wanted to sling mud, Mommy gets mad if you do that in the house anyway, and you know how silly the humans are about such things. The other candidates are okay, but remember, they are human. To get the proper representation, you need to be represented by a dog. I know our issues, and I will work my hardest in between naps to make sure that this country becomes more dog friendly. The years of dog discrimination will end under my watch. I promise that you can have high hopes for the future with Demon Flash Bandit as President. Yeah for dogs and down with birds.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Will Make a Brighter Future for Dogs)

 

Critic of TV

May 20th 2008 10:56 am
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I want to know why so many tv shows feature humans instead of dogs. Even the newscasters are human. I've never watched the news and been informed of the day's events by a dog. What is going on in the world of tv when so few dogs are being used. Sure, there is the occasional Lassie or The Morry Show (or whatever the dog's name was) which the humans called Mad About You. There is no doubt in my mind that the dog was the star of the show. Did he get the proper credit? No he did not. I want some answers from the tv executives. There a plenty of us dogs watching tv, and seeing those commercials. I am going to start boycotting all the products that advertise and only have humans on the show. That's right. I'm not going to eat any dog food until I see more dogs on tv. I will have to sacrifice and eat Burger King, but that is the kind of sacrifice this dog is willing to make in order to get more dogs on tv. If dogs all over the country would start eating at Burger King and quit eating dog food, the tv executives would be forced to put on more dog shows. I think a show with only dogs would be great. That would be a show worth watching.

Demon Flash Bandit (TV Critic)

 

Critic of TV

May 20th 2008 10:56 am
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I want to know why so many tv shows feature humans instead of dogs. Even the newscasters are human. I've never watched the news and been informed of the day's events by a dog. What is going on in the world of tv when so few dogs are being used. Sure, there is the occasional Lassie or The Morry Show (or whatever the dog's name was) which the humans called Mad About You. There is no doubt in my mind that the dog was the star of the show. Did he get the proper credit? No he did not. I want some answers from the tv executives. There a plenty of us dogs watching tv, and seeing those commercials. I am going to start boycotting all the products that advertise and only have humans on the show. That's right. I'm not going to eat any dog food until I see more dogs on tv. I will have to sacrifice and eat Burger King, but that is the kind of sacrifice this dog is willing to make in order to get more dogs on tv. If dogs all over the country would start eating at Burger King and quit eating dog food, the tv executives would be forced to put on more dog shows. I think a show with only dogs would be great. That would be a show worth watching.

Demon Flash Bandit (TV Critic)

 

Foul vs. Fowl

May 19th 2008 11:52 pm
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I'm finally got the paw mail answered. The computer was giving trouble. I blame it on the birds. Have you noticed that when a person is murdered, the police suspect foul play? Foul sounds just the same as fowl which is another word for birds. Why can't the humans see how evil the birds are? They aren't fooling Demon Flash Bandit or the rest of the dogs out there.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hater)

 

Tree Jumping and Birds Almost Dying--Almost Perfect Day

May 18th 2008 9:01 am
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I had such a fun time yesterday when I was out with Mommy. Angel and I came up with a new, fun game. There was a small tree within the reach of our leashes, and we would jump up to see if we could get some leaves. Life doesn't get any more fun than that. On the way home, a stupid bird flew in front of the car, and Mommy almost hit it. It would have been so great if she had hit the stupid, evil bird. I was personally rooting for the car, but that stupid bird got away. I hope he flies in front of another car, and gets what he deserves. Birds are the worst thing on the planet.

I have to make this short. I"ve been having trouble answering my paw-mail. I don't know if it is Mommy's internet service or dogster, but the respond thing didn't seem to work yesterday. Hopefully, it is okay today so if I owe you a paw-mail and you haven't heard from me, that is the reason. I've got to try to answer the paw-mail after I write this.

I hope all the dogs out there are having a great weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Exhausted Dog)

 

Human Celebrities--No Dogs

May 17th 2008 7:05 pm
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Jeff has went to a Comic Convention for the past 2 days. He worked yesterday, and I had to babysit William. Today he went, and I got to ride there with Mommy. Angel and I got to play and have a great time waiting in the parking lot. I, as usual, was a perfect dog, but Angel got into a bit of trouble. Her collar came off, and she took off, but she came back in a couple of minutes. Mommy was really worried for a minute there. I got into the car so Mommy could go get Angel. I told Angel she is a bad dog, but Mommy was just glad she came back.

Meanwhile Jeff met celebrites and got some autographs. He got Mommy an autograph of Mickey from the Monkees. I'm not believing that Monkeys are smart enough to write. I think we dogs are a lot smarter than monkeys. They didn't have any important celebrites there. I could name many more important celebrities---Demon from Snow Dogs, Max from Eight Below (I believe it is the same dog), Underdog, Hooch, from Turner and Hooch, and Shasta from Snow Buddies to name a few. I guess they are too important and are way too busy to show up at a show like that.

We had Burger King for dinner. YEAH!!! Angel and I have both been napping. We had a very busy day.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Had A Fun Day)

 

Airlines

May 15th 2008 12:37 pm
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I'm getting fed up with hearing from other dogs out there about our unfair treatment on airlines. Judging from recent headlines, many of the airlines are folding. I think it is time to start a Dog Airline. This will be an airline where dogs are not only welcome, but invited. Our humans don't have to ride in the cargo area--they can ride up in the cabin with us dogs. It will be great fun to be able to fly to different locales. We dogs enjoy our vacations just like humans do. I think this is part of the reason that the airlines aren't doing well--they don't include us dogs. They want to treat us like we are luggage. I am not luggage. I'm a living, breathing, pal to the humans. We dogs should and will be treated better. Wait until I become President---there will be changes.

I will promise that when I become president, the country will become a more dog friendly place. I think we dogs deserve nothing less.

Demon Flash Bandit (Fan of the UnderDOG)

 

I Want to Get the Sea Serpent's Political Support

May 14th 2008 9:55 pm
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I'm a bit late writing my entry today. Sometimes a dog just has problems getting some time on the computer. The humans think they should have first dibs on the computer. They have so many silly ideas.

Mommy had to go to the pain clinic today. I think that shows how stupid the humans can be. They have a clinic that causes pain. You wouldn't catch a dog paying to go there. I often wonder how the humans have enough sense to get up in the morning. Judging from the ones in this house, they don't. They are definitely not morning people.

I had Burger King for dinner tonight. I do love my burgers. Mommy bought some dog food which she put in a large plastic container. The food ended up on every stair down to the basement because Angel carried it downstairs, and spilled it all the way down. I told you dogs that Angel is always causing trouble. I'm the good dog around here. Mommy thinks Angel is very cute. She thought carrying the dog food to the basement was funny.

It rained some here today. I like it because it has been a bit colder. I keep hoping winter will return, but the way those stupid, evil birds keep singing, I doubt that will happen.

I hope all you dogs are having a good week. Don't forget my political rally at Samoa's Pier Friday night. I hope the sea serpent will show up so I can ask him to vote for me. I can use the sea serpent vote. By the way, I think Samoa is interviewing some Poodles for the bar to serve as barmaids. I know all us male dogs will enjoy seeing them in their bar maid outfits. Be sure and be generous with the tips. Angel is the buyer for the gift shop. Watch for the opening announcement. She is hiring some rabbits to sew plush sea serpent squeaky toys, and I'm sure all us dogs will enjoy playing with them.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With A Mission)

 

Cheeseburger Chips

May 13th 2008 11:52 am
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Yesterday was William's 25th birthday so Mommy took him out to dinner, and they went to see a movie. The movie was, of course, written by humans since it had the highly imaginative title, 21. In case you are wondering, yes I'm being sarcastic. A dog would come up with a more interesting title. I think they had a good time. Mommy came home with new dog toys--rubber type squeakies and plush squeakies. Angel and I were both pleased. I also got Burger King for dinner. YEAH Burger King. I also highly recommend trying Pringles cheesburger flavor potato chips. Angel went nuts over them. Mommy wouldn't give her too many--something about salt content. Angel said she should have an entire canister herself. I think I even tasted ketchup on the burger. I have only one word for those chips---YUM.

I hope all the dogs out there are having a good week. Don't let the humans push you around. Remember, they are only humans but you are the DOG!!!!

By the way, for the nice people at Proctor and Gamble, I'm availabe for Pringle advertising. You have a wonderful product.

Demon Flash Bandit (Fan of Cheeseburger Flavor Pringles)

 

Demon Flash Bandit (Human Trainer)

May 12th 2008 9:50 am
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Mommy went out for Mother's Day, and I'm glad she had a good time. She saw a movie called Maid of Honor. Jeff watched some silly kung fu movie. Jeff has no taste. There were several dog cameos in Maid of Honor. I bet there weren't any dogs at all in Forbidden Kingdom. Mommy said there is a new dog movie coming out in Sept. It is called Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and the movie poster has 2 dogs in the photo. Okay, I'm not sure that chihuahuas are officially dogs. I suspect they are large rats who have learned to bark, but any rat who would go to the trouble to learn to bark is okay in my book. Don't get upset, little guys, it is only good natured teasing. I know some nice chihuahuas. I also got such a laugh out of the chihauhuas getting into the tequila at Mexican night at Samoa's Pier. It took 6 of them to lift the bottle, and it was a miniature airline size bottle. They don't need much to get drunk. They spent the rest of the night barking for the sea serpent to show up. I think all their barking scared him and he didn't show. Perhaps Samoa will have to limit the amount of alcohol some of the little breeds can consume since they get drunk easily. Cho, the Chow did a fine job as bouncer. You know the chihuahuas are drunk when one of them tried to pick a fight with Cho. The little guy wasn't really being mean. He was trying to impress Meagan, my next door neighbor, and a very beautiful cocker spaniel. I hope all the dogs out there will join us at the Pier next Friday night for my political rally. It is going to be a very fun event--as all the events at the Pier turn out to be.

I think Mommy has lot her mind (and she didn't have much to lose if you ask me). She stopped in at some Store that specializes in bows and arrows. I know this because it is called Target, and its logo is a target. I don't yet know why she never comes home with bows and arrows, but I guess they must sell other things too. I want to know why they sell books. Mommy bought one that upset me. It is a book by a guy named Cesar, and he is called the "dog whisperer". Mommy was reading the first chapter, and I have a couple of comments for Cesar. I do happen to be a human in fur. I even talk. I do not want to run for 8 hours a day. That would seriously interfere with my nap time, and I do work for my food. Last night Mommy also bought a bag of bacon and cheese flavored Milkbone, and I had to get it out of the bag myself. Mommy didn't bring it to me. Mommy brought us dingo bones, and I had to walk away from my dingo bone to retreive the Milkbones. Alright, I admit, I'm exaggerating a bit. I finished my dingo before I got the bag. Angel would have stolen it if I had left it unguarded. I know he is good with dogs, and he has saved a lot of dogs that would have been euthanized so I know he is a good man. However, I, Demon Flash Bandit, am a happy dog who enjoys being spoiled. How could I run the country if I'm out running everyday. However, I do think Angel Zoom Smokey should be out running all day because she keeps trying to become the leader of the pack so sending her packing would be a wonderful idea. If she happens to get lost, so be it. I think I can go on without her. She spends most of her puppy life trying to annoy me anyway.

I hope all your Mother's had wonderful Mothers Days, and I hope you remembered to give lots of wet, sloppy kisses. They really love it if you lick your butt and then give them one of those kisses--a bit of advice for the future.

Demon Flash Bandit (People Trainer)

 
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