Adventures of a lead dog

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I Like Terriers

June 16th 2013 8:43 pm
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I've been busy today contemplating a recent job offer from Homeland Security. Because of my history of being such an important "bird spy". they begged me to join them in keeping the world safe from terriers. However, many terriers are my friends, and I don't think it is fair to discriminate against any particular breed of dog. What did you say, Mommy.....? It is terrorists, not terriers they are after....that sounds like a lot of work, and I could mess up my fur. I think I'll leave that to antoher dog, and I'm going to take a nap.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Likes Terriers)

 

I'm Up Early Today!

June 15th 2013 8:23 am
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I have an important annoucement to make today! Drum roll please.....Demon Flash Bandit is awake, and it is only 11:21AM! Yeah, I'm up and I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed, and I feel like the world is mine for the taking. However, I started thinking about this big old world and decided that it is way too much responsibility so I'm going back to sleep! I am one super smart dog!!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With a Mission--Sleep)

 

Humans Need to Learn to Tell Time

June 14th 2013 9:29 am
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My brother Jeff is 28 years old so you would think that, at his age, he would know how to tell time even if he is human and not of the dog persuasion. However, yesterday I realized that the kid has a problem with time in general. Here is what happaned: he was supposed to work from 12:30PM until 8:00PM. It sounds simple enough on the surface, and it would have been simple if Jeff were a dog who understood such things. However, as you know, Jeff is a human which is where the whole thing broke down. Jeff did not get home until 3:00AM. To add insult to injury, Mommy left at about 11:30 and came home at the same time. What was their excuse for not being home....they went to see the midnight viewing of the "Man of Steel"! I was even madder when I heard that because you would think that, if the humans were going to stay out half the night to see a movie, it would at least be titled, "Dog of Steel". They said it was an excellent movie, but I thihk the time could have better spent here at home with Angel Zoom Smokey and myself. If they go to a movie that late again, I think they should have to take me with them....Angel can come too, but mostly I'm sorried about me.LOL At least William was home with us....and Jeff has the day off today...I guess I'll be barricading the doors!

Demon Flash Bandit (Humans Need to Learn to Tell Time)

 

Dogs Should Supervise!

June 11th 2013 10:14 am
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There are some humans working in the neighbor's yard trimming trees, and I am highly upset over this development. I have been crying at the window because I need to go out and oversee this process. Humans can't be trusted to do such a difficult jub without a dog's supervision. I will never understand why humans hire other humans to do these things because I happen to know that the neighbors have a dog who could boss those humans around, but she was inside. Why the dog wasn't outside where she could keep the humans in line is beyond me! My humans wouldn't let me out either--no matter how much I cried, and I hate having to cry because it isn't good for my he-man image. However, a dog has to cry to go out when he knows that the humans are working on their own without a dog's help. I do wish the humans were smarter and could figure these things out for themselves!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Supervisor)

 

I Want Treats Too!

June 10th 2013 8:57 am
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I saw something interesting on the news today about dogs being encouraged to attend church. Here is the link for those who didn't see it:

http://now.msn.com/church-in-wisconsin-opens-services -to-dogs-and-other-pets

I don't know why more dogs aren't encouraged to attend church services...or do the humans not understand what dog spells out backwards?

Mommy bought us some new treats yesterday--Beneful Baked Delight Snackers. I wasn't hungry so I haven't tried them yet, but Angel Zoom Smokey was delighted with them, and gives them 4 paws up! She actually grabbed the box and took off with it, but I am happy to report that I got it back eventually, and although she had eaten half of it, there is still plenty for me to try. If I like them, I'll order Mommy to buy another box! Perhaps if the church starts serving treats like the Beneful Baked Delights, they might get a lot more dogs to attend. In fact, if they start serving food, they might even get more of the humans to attend....some of the humans like to eat as much as us dogs do!

Demon Flash Bandit (Good Dog Who Deserved Treats)

 

Comforting Angel Zoom Smokey

June 8th 2013 10:39 am
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I have been having to listen to Angel Zoom Smokey complaining about her life, and the mistreatment she is enduring because of the humans and their stupidity. I think that, by age 6, she should know the humans are stupid and not expect much from them. However, she is one of those overly optimistic type of dogs who still have faith that the humans might actually have a working brain that they use. Here is her problem. The other day, the humans had to leave us alone for about half an hour in the house while they were gone to the post office. While they were gone, Angel Zoom Smokey got a little sick and had a case of pooparea. She tried to get out so that she wouldn't go in the house, but she couldn't make it because the humans had her in an extra bedroom. She ended up getting all of it on her favorite Santa Claus throw pillow which she carried to her "spot" at Christmas time and refused to give back to the humans when Christmas was over. This is the problem. She loves that pillow, and I can't blame her for loving it. The pillow is soft, and it has Santa's "face" on it so that she can tell him what she wants for Christmas anytime she feels like it. When the humans came home and saw the pillow covered with poop, they were nice about it. No on got onto her because they are wise enoough humans to know that she couldn't help what happened. However, their solution was to throw the pillow away. Yes, Angel Zoom Smokey's favorite pillow is now in the garbage waiting to go to a landfill. Angel is so mad...she doesn't understand why the humans don't just wash it. I told her that, when it comes to poop, the humans always act crazy. You'd think a little poop would kill them...or are they sneaking it aside for future snacks?

Demon Flash Bandit (Comforting Angel Zoom Smokey)

 

Krusty Burgers Opening in Orlando, Florida

June 5th 2013 11:40 am
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A new hamburger restaurant is opening at Universal Park, Orlando, Florida. Anyone who has watched The Simpsons will recognize the place because it is Krusty's Hamburger place run by Krusty the Clown. I have decided on my vacation destination for this year, and it is Krusty burgers. I think I would really enjoy eating there!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants a Krusty Burger)

 

Gym Dog!

June 4th 2013 10:15 am
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I just got back from the gym, and I feel much better after my "doggy workout". I started with some spinning (that is when you spin a rawhide bone around for a couple of minutes before you eat it). Then I lifted some weights. (I lifted a very heavy bone to my mouth, and it was delicious!) I walked on a treadmill for about 2 minutes until I noticed that I wasn't going anywhere so I got off that stupid treadmill. Then I had a big snack--after all, I burned a lot of calories while I was working out at the gym. Then I came home and took a nap. Okay, to be truthful, I took a nap when I got to the car, and another nap when I got home. I was worn out from all the work at the gym!

Demon Flash Bandit (Member of Gym)

 

Shake Paws: Good or Bad Idea?

June 3rd 2013 9:53 am
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I must share this video with my pals who haven't seen it because it is hilarious. It is called a Sad Dog's Diary, and it was shared by the same human(?) who shared the Sad Cat's Diary. This means that this human meets a lot of sad animals who write diaries. Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1C5T-fH2Y

This diary entry has made me think about something that we dogs don't normally worry about. That is-just what are we agreeing to when we shake paws with the humans. Perhaps it is just because cats are naturally suspicious compared to us dogs, but maybe we dogs whould be a bit more suspicious since some of the humans clearly do not act in a dog's best interests. I will contemplate this further while I drift off to sleep.

Demon Flash Bandit (Should We Shake Paws With the Humans?)

 

Tired Dog

June 2nd 2013 9:43 am
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First, I want to warn my readers of a scam involving us dogs and a business opportunity that is bogus. Here is the link in case you are interested, steer clear of this "business".

http://on.aol.com/video/stray-animal-service- a-scam-517798737?hp=1&playlist=127173&icid=maing-grid7%7Cmai n5%7Cdl21%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D320634

Some of the humans just can't seem to be honest, and now they are using the honest humans love of dogs to scam them out of money--money which could be better spent on bones for your dog!

It is a normal day around here. Angel Zoom Smokey is zooming around the house, and I'm trying to stay out of her way which means I'm about to lie down and take a nap. I don't know why a dog wants to zoom when that time could be better spent napping!

Demon Flash Bandit (Tired Dog)

 
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