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Adventures of a lead dog

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Birds Should Not Be Allowed to Buy Guns

October 23rd 2013 1:15 pm
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Conpawtulations to my pal, Zaidie, and myself for being chosen as dogster diary picks today. The humans at HQ are a lot more likely to pick your diary as a diary pick if they learn you have a gun. LOL Of course, I found out after the humans confiscated my weapon that it is a non-working bb gun. I think that is a rotten trick to play on a dog, but I suspect they never thought I'd decide to carry a gun. Maybe I should go to the gun store across the street and buy one that works. With my blue eyes, I'm sure they would assume I am a human. From what I've read in the news, everyone can buy a gun-even birds. I personally think that birds should not be allowed to buy guns! I call it bird gun control.

Demon Flash Bandit (Diary Pick)

 

Birds had Better Run: Demon Flash Bandit has a Gun!

October 22nd 2013 10:48 am
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I want to conpawtulate my lovely wife, Savannah Blue Belle for being chosen as dogster dog of the week! Savvy has not been on dogster as much as she used to, and I have missed her presence on here. I also want to conpawtulate my pal, Anya for being chosen as a diary pick again today! I am so fortunate to have such wonderful pals!

I had put a few new things in my new "closet den", and Mommy cleaned out the stuff that I had carried in there. The humans were a bit surprised when they found a pair of "camo" binoculars and a gun that I had brought in there. What do they expect? A dog needs to protect himself. My blog is www,demonflashbanbit.blogspot.com if you want to read the details.
When you read my blog, I think you'll see my point about why I need the items I had.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With a Gun)

 

October 21st 2013 10:41 am
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I would like to conpawtulate my pals, Mr. Cutter and Anya for being chosen as diary picks today!!!

A fantastic movie just came out on dvd, and I gave it a movie review on my blog today. That movie is Alpha and Omega 2: A Howl-aday Adventure. This is the sequel to Alpha and Omega. If you want to read my review, here is the address:
www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com
This movie is fantastic because it not only has Alpha and Omega--2 very gorgeous wolves who look a lot like dogs particularly huskies, However, to make this movie even better, Alpha and Omega have 3 puppies. I don't think I have to tell you that, when you really want to make a movie great, add puppies,. It works every time! There are 2 more sequels in the works. I am very excited to see them!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

 

Don't Take the Dog's Brain You Stupid Zombie!!!

October 19th 2013 8:44 am
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I would like to conpawtulate my pal, Mr. Cutter for being both a dairy pick and the dog of the day!!!! There must be some major celebrating at Mr. Cutter's house today!!!

Did you know that there are humans who think that a zombie apocalypse is inevitable? This worries me because zombies eat brains. What if they realize that the human brains are not nearly as smart as a dog's brain? I'm keeping my paws croseed that this never happens, but a dog can't keep from worrying. I've grown rather fond of my brain, and I'd like to keep it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Plans to Keep my Brains)

 

Puplitzer Prize Would be Nice!

October 18th 2013 9:35 am
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I would like to thank dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick two days in a roll!!! I also want to apologize for not writing yesterday. My brother, William, was hogging the computer most of the day. Yes, this is the brother who petted a bird and thought the cockadoodle doo would make a good pet. Perhaps I need to keep a close eye on that kid!!! Conpawtulations to my pals, Zoe and Ella for being chosen as diary picks yesterday, and to Zoe for being chosen again today! I also want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon on my page. Thanks for suggesting that I should be getting a Puplitzer Prize for my work. I also want to thank all the wonderful dogs who sent me bones. They are delicious!

I thought you might like to read an excerpt from my new television show that I wrote about yesterday.

The theme song has just played and I come in and sit down on the floor and I start changing my shoes. I am putting on sneakers that are more comfortable, and I'm talking to the puppies in my neighborhood.

Yes Puppies, no matter how many times you tell a squirrel that he does not belong in your yard, he will show up again the next day. Whether it is because he is stupid or just a smart aleck, I'm not sure. I suspect it is for both reasons.

Demon Flash Bandit (Future Winner of the Puplitzer Prize)

 

Dogs Make Good Neighbors!

October 16th 2013 9:44 am
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Most puppies are taken from the dog parents at an early age and given to humans so I think it is about time I make a television program for young puppies to teach them the ways of being a dog.

My show is the Demon Flash Bandit Morning Dog Show, and it airs every weekday at 3:00pm. You don't expect me to get up before noon, do you? Besides I am supposed to be bringing up these puppies properly and sleeping through the morning is one of the first lessons a puppy needs to learn!

Here is the theme song:

It is a beautiful day in my neighborhood
A beautiful day for dogs and cats
But if you see a squirrel or bird,
They have got to go!
Grill them or fry them, they make a good dinner or even a snack!

The humans appreciate out educating the young pups so that they keep their home values high. Humans, you are welcome!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Teacher and Star)

 

Fine Dining: Eating Birds

October 15th 2013 8:16 am
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I heard a lovely song on the stereo today whose lyrics I am sharing with my pals on dogster. Here they are:

Things are swell
Things are great
Gonna eat every bird on a plate
Eating Bird every meal
Everything's coming up Bird Meat for me
and Angel Zoom Smokey

I think Mommy played this song deliberately to help soothe my nerves from the run-in with that awful bird on the Kroger parking lot yesterday!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Eater)

 

I've Been Traumatized!!!!

October 14th 2013 8:39 am
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I'm sorry I haven't posted for the past 2 days. I was busy the first day doing dog things. You know what I mean: guarding the house, barking, and sleeping--you know all serious dog activities! Yesterday I was too traumatized to write and tell you what had went on in my life. We went to Kroger to buy a Sunday newspapaper. Yes, you are correct--humans are unable to read things for themswelove. That is one of our jobs as the family dog--to read it to them!
When we got to Kroger, there was a man out of his car on the parking lot and he had a bird in his paw. The bird was a "cockadoodledoo" which I assume must be some breed of chicken so I thought maybe the man was going to throw him on a tailgate barbeque and give all us dogs a taste. The human was not so sensible. He was letting people pet the bird (incidentally, the bird was white--not even colorful like some birds). There were a bunch of people surrounding the stupid bird waiting to pet him. By the way, the bird was a male who is 10 years old. How do I know these details? Because my idiot brother, William, went over to pet the stupid varmint. He came back to the car and said the bird was soft, and he would like to have one!!! I was mad and traumatized at the same time over William fraternizing with the enemy!! I have to go now, and try to find a doggy psychiatrist who specialized in trauma treatment!

Demon Flash Bandit ((Traumatized Dog)

 

Demon Flash Bandit, Collector, "Connossewer", and Owner of- Closet

October 11th 2013 9:27 am
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I want to thank dogster for choosing my diary entry as a diary pick for the third day in a roll. I hope the humans at dogster have a good weekend!

I do appreciate all the comments supporting my collection that I am keeping on the floor of Mommy's closet. Dogs know that if we keep something, it is a collection, but the humans think we are hoarding, and tend to get all upset about it. Just the other day, I was chatting with my pal (and dog), Chester. Chester has a massive collection of dog poop which he has amassed over the past decade. Another dog named Jasmine, wants one of his valuable pieces to decorate the new dog house her humans are buying for her. Although it is very valuable, he is wiling to part with it for 20 dingo bones. What is my point? My point is that you never know when someone will want something from my collection who will be willing to pay a lot of bones for it. Besides, my human was cleaning the house last week, and she thought I didn't see her, but she threw away a trash bag full of my old toys. This is why I have her toy and Jeff's toy in my stash! If you mess with my stuff, I take your stuff! Another thing....it is not funny when I leave the closet and the humans say, "Demon is out of the closet". I don't know why they get so tickled over that line, but I don't like it and I don't think it is funny at all!

On a more serious note, the humans are working on a new sensor that a dog can wear if they have elderly owners to help keep check on the elderly human's general health! Here is the link:
http://www.gizmag.com/dog-sensor-elderly-care/29327/




Demon Flash Bandit (Collector)

 

Confessions of a Hoarder

October 10th 2013 10:15 am
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Mommy cleaned out one of the closets in her bedroom, and there was absolutely nothing on the floor of the closet. I'm talking nothing whatsoever-not shoes but just totally empty space devoid of stuff. Thus, I claimed the closet for myself. I've been crawling in and out of the closet because I like the feeling of solitude. Mommy has also left the door open so I can get into my "spot". I have to admit that Mommy has noticed that the floor of the closet has stuff on it now. I had a new, still in package Barbie doll, General Zod from the Superman movies (the action figure--not the actual Kryptonian), and now one of Mommy's new shoes is gracing the closet with its presence. I hope the humans don't call that Hoarders show to get me to get rid of my stuff. I like stuff, and I plan to keep it with me. If any of those annoying anti-hoarder television people show up here, I might just have to show them my teeth. I think the dogs reading this know what I mean. I guess it might increase the ratings of the show so I better not advertise that is what I would do!

Demon Flash Bandit (Hoarding Dog)

 
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