Adventures of a lead dog

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Demon Flash Bandit: Boss Dog~

August 16th 2013 8:41 am
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For those who have been wondering why I haven't written, check out my blog at www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com. Several days ago, I got my 2 quarter pounders with bacon at McDonalds, and my bacon was burned. I know it is hard to believe that a human could make bacon taste bad, but they managed to do so. Therefore, I got a job as a manager at the local McDonalds so that I could fire those responsible for burning my bacon. My 2 more recent blog entries cover my time as the "undercover manager" there. In addition, my lazy human has some "tooth Infection" and claims she isn't feeling like getting on the computer. If I had that attitude, I would never have become an undercover manager at McDonalds because I missed a lot of great naps over that job! However, my new reality show, Demon Flash Bandit: Boss Dog would have never made it onto television.

Demon Flash Bandit (Boss Dog)

 

One Dog Outsmarts 7 Humans!

August 11th 2013 9:51 am
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I received a very tasty ice cream cone from my pal, Anonymous. I was supposed to be trying to find the identity of "Anonymous", but I have to admit that I was too busy eating the delicious ice cream so I was preoccupied and never got around to finding the dog who sent it. Don't tell me I'm the only dog that has happened to on dogster. You send us dogs ice cream, we get excited.

A couple of days ago, Mommy was driving down the street, and a dog ran out in front of Mommy's truck (luckily she was able to stop in time), and the dog, who was limping decided to walk in front of the truck while looking around at Mommy every now and then. When he finally got out of the street (after causing quite a traffic jam), my brother and 7 other humans stopped to try to help the dog. The dog got scared and ran into a forest so the humans couldn't get him. Yeah, as usual, 7 humans out-smarted by a dog...why do I not find that hard to believe? LOL Anyway, I hope the dog made it back to his humans, and it feels good to live in a place with so many dog lovers!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Smarter than Humans)

 

There is Only Room For One Genius Around Here, and that- genius is me, DFB

August 9th 2013 9:05 am
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I'm getting VERY annoyed at Angel Zoom Smokey. The humans had a new mattress and box springs delivered yesterday. Therefore the humans have been cleaning out Angel's "dog-made bed" which was on the floor beside the bed, and that cleaning has made her very angry. Quite frankly, I was surprised she didn't turn green and go after the humans for messing with her stuff. Anyway, it turns out that she had been hoarding mail that was intended for the humans including a title search to the house we are living in at the moment. Angel says that means she owns the house and I must start paying her rent. I think this says more about the humans around here and their lack of organizational skills than Angel being some kind of financial wizard like she is now claiming. If there is one genius in this family, it is me. I'm the one who was chosen to win the Sears Genius Award awhile back. They know who the real genius is!

 

New Quarter Pounders With Bacon

August 5th 2013 6:29 pm
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Angel Zoom Smokey is in an eating frenzy today. She ate 3 pieces of fried chicken (1 breast and 2 thighs), a couple of my hamburger buns, and she was begging for cottage cheese. I guess the cottage cheese was her way of watching her "diet" so she won't get fat. I let her have the buns from my burgers because I usually just eat the meat. I might add that this dog heartily approves of the new Quarter Pounder with bacon at McDonalds, which I have found to be quite delicious! I've always said that if you add bacon to anything, it will taste better, and once again, I'm right as usual. Bacon added to a hamburger makes it even more delicious. I'm wondering if the humans have thought of chocolate dipped bacon. I bet a dog would love it!

Demon Flash Bandit (Thinking of Good Food Combos)

 

Birds Are Annoying

August 2nd 2013 3:16 pm
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Why are birds so annoying? I saw one today, and I suggested, ever so sweetly that the bird commit suicide. The bird did not care for my suggestion and told me that he plans to live a long and happy life. That proves that birds aren't smart enough to do what a dog tells them to do. This is why birds should be eradicated from the planet They constantly annoy a dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Birds)

 

The Great Dingo Crisis of July 29!

July 31st 2013 11:51 am
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I'd like to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon on my page. I also want to thank Dogster for choosing my diary entry as a diary pick today. I would say I don't deserve the honor, but all us dogs know I would be lying.LOL

Today I am going to discuss an event that happened a couple of days ago on July 29, which is why I'm calling it the "Great Dingo Crisis of July 29". Mommy gave each of us (Angel Zoom Smokey and myself) a dingo bone, and Angel immediately started eating hers. I guarded mine and refused to eat it so that I oculd spend the entire time she was eating hers crying for her dingo bone. The following day, her dingo bone was gone, but I still had mine, and I was still guarding it. Angel proceeded to take my bone and eat it too. Again, I cried the entire time she was eating my bone. Mommy said I should have eaten it when I had the chance. Can you believe my human's total lack of sympathy with me on the theft? This is why I say that Angel Zoom Smokey is so hard to live with--she eats my bones.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Dingo Crisis of July 29)

 

Dogs Should Avoid Human Germs

July 27th 2013 9:51 am
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I noticed that the front page of dogster's website has an article written by a veterinarian who gets nervous when observing photos of dogs and children together. I know exactly what that vet is saying: I don't like seeing those photos either. Sure, they are cute (aren't all photos involving dogs?), but it bothers me when I see those human children drooling and getting their human germs all over a dog. Children also tend to be stickyl Many children are perpetually sticky! Children have been known to hurt dogs so you don't know what is going to happen, and if a child hurts a dog, and the dog bites the child, that is just a waste of time. The humans are always going to take the humans' side! I might add that it is not a dog's job to watch the humans' children. Our job is to nap and eat treats. If the humans want to make us work, they better come up with some better ideas than child care. Maybe candy clean up, but not child care. The next time you see a human taking a photo of a child and a dog, you lift your paw and tell them off. Sometimes they do listen to a dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Avoiding Human Germs)

 

One in Six Americans Work at Walmart

July 26th 2013 10:17 am
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I was going through some stuff the humans had lying around, and there was a Walmart ad that said Walmart was fighting hunger in America, and that 1 in 6 Americans do not have enough food. Far be it from me to criticize Walmart--okay, I enjoy criticizing big companies that have super rich owners while they pay their workers very little. It just doesn't seem right to me that the people who make the money for them are so unappreciated. Anyway, the ad was interesting because, if I were to venture a guess, probably about 1 in 6 Americans work for Walmart...so are they saying that their employees don't make enough to pay for food? That is how I interpreted it, and Walmart is making a big deal out of their work at helping to feed the humans who are hungry. I bet it has nothing to do with tax breaks and good publicity. Yes, I do shop occasionally at Walmart and I do not hate the store, but I have watched them go down hill so much since the man who started the store died. I think it is being run by a bunch of spoiled children who don't appreciate their dad's legacy and probably think they could have done better.

I want to add that I have addressed a serious issue in my blog today (www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com), which is about stores not offering insurance or extended warranties on a dog's candy. I consider this a serious issue that all us dogs need to get behind.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Walmart)

 

Little Chocolate Doughnuts

July 24th 2013 12:04 pm
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I'm glad that my pal, Misty, won the ebay auction for my paw bandage. I was pleased that one of my pals won it. Check out Misty's dogster plus album to see the photo of the package that she won! The money went to Taysia Blue Siberian Husky rescue in Nebraska which was not my idea. I thought the money should go to buy me dingo bones since it was my bandage, but the humans did not agree with me. As usual, the humans do not listen to their dogs! However, they did buy me a dingo bone so I'll let it slide--this time!

Some good news today:
Mommy bought a bag of Hostess doughnuts from the store, and there was about 1/3 of a package left. Guess who managed to grab the bag and take off with it without the humans knowing about it? If you guessed Demon Flash Bandit, you would be correct. The bag of doughnuts was good. I did the humans a service. They didn't need the extra calories anyway! I don't know about other dogs, but little chocolate doughnuts have been on my training table since I was a puppy!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Doughnuts)

 

Heat Wave Not Fun!

July 23rd 2013 9:33 am
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I must apologize for my lack of being on dogster recently. The central air in the house is not working and we had such a nasty heat wave that this dog stayed in the bedroom with the emergencey window air conditioner. My tail didn't move out of that room unless it was just to take care of business, and I won't say what the business was since I am a very gentlemenly dog who does not like to speak of such things.

Otherewise, things have been going okay around here, and thank dog, the hot air has moved out of the area and it has been replaced by cooler weather. Mother Nature had better not send another heat wave this way unless she wants to get bitten by a very angry Siberian Husky named Demon Flash Bandit!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Prefers Cool Weather)

 
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