January 7th 2013 9:28 am
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I have had trouble the past couple of days even posting comments on my friends' dairy entries. Yesterday, I tried to let Zoe know that her sister being replaced by a space alien was probably the proper conclusion. Today, I was unable to tell Whitley that I have an bit of advice to ask Whitley. Since we dogs are so cute when we shake our butts, what can you do to help the humans not be overwhelmed by our cuteness?
I have a funny item to share with my readers involving a dog standing in snow. I think it was a delightful photo, but this dog is not a sled dog, and did not seemed as happy as I would be in the same situation. Here is the link:
I hope this diary entry makes it through because dogster was really having flea problems yesterday on my end.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Snow)
January 5th 2013 12:00 pm
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I didn't get to write yesterday because my secretary took the day off to go to a movie--without my permission!!! However, I am happy to report that today I am back--the champion, the legend, the Demon Flash Bandit!!! Go ahead with the spotlights Mom. Why is the spotlight a small flashlight? What do you mean we don't have any spotlights? How do these humans expect a star like myself to live in a house that does not have spotlights. I have to go and do some reserch on the Internet. Someone has to order my spotlights because the humans don't have the brains to do so. By the way, check out my blog today. I wrote about how the humans need to have a dog accompany them on shopping trips. My Mommy bought a pasta boat--yes, a boat made from pasta. No dog would have been dumb enough to buy a boat made of pasta! My blog address:
Demon Flash Bandit (Star Dog)
January 3rd 2013 11:00 am
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I want to thank dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick today. I also want to thank my pals, Hershey and "Winkie" for giving me a blue ribbon for my cabinet.
I hope the new year is going well for my pals. As usual, I was doing some Internet research for my diary, and I came across this wonderful item that I have to share with my readers. It is a piece of "plush bacon". It is not actually meant for dogs, but I'm sure most dogs would love to get their paws on it, and at $19.99, I think it is a bargain. It even has an animated mouth that says, "I'm bacon" when you squeeze it. I think this is something that any human would be thrilled to have so, if you need a birthday gift or you just want to give someone something cool, this is truly a great gift idea. Or you can order one for yourself-you'll be glad you did. Here is the link:
Tell them Demon Flash Bandit recommended this product!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon-Real or Plush)
January 2nd 2013 8:37 am
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I would like to conpawtulate my pal, Biscuit, for being chosen as a diary pick today!!!
Mommy went to the store yesterday and she brought home a bunch of bananas. This made me worry that she might be planning to get a pet monkey since monkeys like bananas. Sure, you may think I'm being paranoid, but I was once the only pet besides the rabbit in this house, and the humans took me for a long ride to Ohio and brought home Angel Zoom Smokey. They did not even consult me and ask whether I wanted Angel Zoom Smokey or not. Naturally, a dog like myself is going to get a little worried when I see too many bananas enter the house. I am happy to report that the bananas were bought to make banana pudding which was delicious. Sometimes a dog's worries are unnecessary!
Demon Flash Bandit (Banana Pudding--No Monkeys)
January 1st 2013 10:36 am
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I hope the new year is starting out right for my readers. I have pawsonally made a few resolutions. Not that any dog needs to because we are already perfect, but I made a couple to make the humans feel better about themselves. I resolve to nap more, watch television more, and eat more treats. I have a feeling that it will be a lot easier for me to keep my resolutions than for most of the humans to keep theirs. As usual, we dogs are the superior intellect. Why make resolutions that are too hard to keep? Happy new year everyone!!!
Demon Flash Bandit (New Year's Resolutions)
December 31st 2012 6:50 am
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Since today is New Year's Eve, that makes it sort of a holiday, and I'm sure all my readers know how seriously I take holidays. This dog doesn't usually want to work on "work days". Although writing my diary is a lot of work, I still do it because I know how much my pals depend on my words of wisdom to get them through the day. Dealing with humans on a daily basis is not exactly easy for us dogs, and sometimes a dog needs to know that other dogs understand what they are going through. This is why, when I saw this bit of news on msn's home page, I knew that this would be the perfect day to share it with my pals. I know some of you have already seen it, but I think it is worth watching again and again. It is a Pit bull puppy who has ripped off the head of a Michael Vick toy. Since I consider Michael Vick to be a jerk who hurt a lot of dogs, and I don't even think he should still be playing football, this video warmed my heart. Here is the link:
I hope all my readers have a happy new year, and where do we find this Michael Vick toy so that the rest of us dogs can have some fun with one?
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Michael Vick)
December 30th 2012 9:56 am
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I would like to thank Dogster.com for choosing my diary as a diary pick today. I also want to conpawtulate my pal, Anya, who was also chosen for the honor. I want to thank my pals, Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon. As usual, it will look great in my trophy case!
Today's diary entry is going to have a more serious subject. Sure, I prefer to write about fun things, but sometimes a dog has to inform other dogs about the things going on in the world around us. There is a report that 92 shorebirds have been killed on a Washington state beach. Wildlife officials say that they were the victims of vehicular birdslaughter--okay, they didn't put it that way, but isn't that the proper way to refer to birds being killed by a car? These birds are "protected", and that means that no one is supposed to hurt them. Is this fair to the dogs in Washington state? Let's say that you and your human are out on a walk, and the bird drops a bird bomb on your head. A dog is just supposed to keep walking and possibly even face a bath from the humans while the bird sits back and laughs. Many areas won't allow us to leave our dog art without our humans having to clean it up so I think birds are being given preferential treatment by the law. There is a $500. reward for information that helps the government find the person responsible. If you ask me, they should be giving a $500 reward to the person who killed off the stupid birds. That person is a hero in this dog's book. Wait until the wildlife officials get hit on the head by a bird bomb and see how much they love the stupid birds then!!!
Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Should be Killed)
December 29th 2012 8:43 am
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I want to start by conpawtulating my pal, Mini Mischief for being a dogster dog of the day pick. I hope Mini has a wonderful day!!!
Many years ago, there was a television show on one of the networks called "Different Strokes", and today I am going to give you my opinion of that show. After exhaustive research involving hours and hours of watching the show so that I could write about the quality of the program, I will now share my opinion with my readers. DRUMROLL!!!! I found the show boring because this dog is not a big fan of golf. I pawsonally prefer baseball and football. This program spends hours showing it's viewers different strokes for the golf game, and which club you should use for different shots. If you are like my pal, Zoe, who hails from Scotland, you will love the show because all Scottish dogs like to play golf, but for dogs like myself who originated in Siberia, we would prefer to throw snowballs at each other. I happen to be a champion at Snowball! I will admit that watching the dogs stand on their back paws and play golf is cute, but the game itself is so boring that I am surprised that cats have not taken over the game. I might add that my human was actually right....a dog does need to watch the show to give a proper review (like the humans could ever be right about anything).
For my readers who might be planning a trip in the future, my blog today has a review of an airline, Arrive or Crash Airlines. Be sure and read my blog before booking a flight on this airline so that you will know what to expect when flying the Arrive or Crash skies! My blog address is:
Demon Flash Bandit (Different Strokes)
December 27th 2012 12:47 pm
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I'd like to conpawtulate my pal, Zoe, who was a diary pick yesterday. I want to thank Mr. Jack Freckles Sir Winks-A-Lot for the wonderful stocking on my page filled with delicious treats. I also want to thank my pal, Reilly, for the snowman on my page. I had so much fun playing in the snow with him. We actually had a decent amount of snow yesterday, and I am sure that the snowman brought it here with him. I was thrilled. My humans weren't quite so happy about it.
Christmas is over so I have decided that 365 days is just too long to wait for the next Christmas so I have decided that we dogs need to start whining for Christmas to come at least once a month. Once a week would be better, but you have to get the humans used to these great ideas slowly. Just sit in front of the tree and whine. After about 100 hours of constant whining, I'm sure most humans will think Christmas once a month is an idea whose time has come. Then we can start whining for Christmas every week. If we are really good at whining, and believe me, I am, we might even get it everyday!!! It is only right that Christmas should at least be celebrated in "dog years", which should be about 7 times a year for a dog. I'm really not sure about the amount, but 7 sounds a lot better than 1. I hope everydog had a great Christmas, and remember, drink a lot of water and keep your throat moist for all the whining you are going to need to do.
Demon Flash Bandit (Christmas Doesn't Come Often Enough)
December 26th 2012 5:08 pm
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I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Santa Paws was very good to me this year. I got lots of toys and treats, and ham for dinner. Angel Zoom Smokey is still annoyed that he didn't bring her millions of dollars which she asks for every year, but I think he was good to her too no matter what she thinks.
Pizza Hut has come up with a new idea which it is not using in the United States. That idea is pizza stuffed with pizza. I don't happen to be a big fan of pizza--too much bread for my taste. However, I do think that their idea can be modified to please us dogs. I want to see bacon stuffed with bacon stuffed with bacon stuffed with bacon....it can go on into infinity. Bacon.....it is always good!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon)