My new "Friend"

Dear Diary,

A couple of days ago mommy bought me a new toy. He is a stuffed yellow frog, but he has a funny looking face. Not that I am one to judge, but it looks like he has a black eye and as though he's been through the ringer a few times! Mommy swears to me that it IS a new toy and the face is just a joke and part of the toy. I don't know what to think. All I know is it's a face only a mother could love, so please don't call me momma!

Mommy started having my new toy sleep with me. However Buddy used to sleep with me. I suddenly noticed that Buddy has been MIA a few days. I decided to retrace my steps and try to remember the last time I saw him. Then it hit me last night. He was in "The land of forgotten toys"! Oh no! I recalled when mommy was holding me to clean doodie off me (don't ask, that's another diary entry in iteself) that I saw him in that BOX! So last night, and all morning, I have been scratching at the box and barking to try to get Buddy's attention so he comes out. I keep barking " I know you are up there buddy! Don't ignore me!". ...BUT he is ignoring me. Don’t you hate when that happens!? I even tried barking at mommy as well so she would go get him, but she keeps saying "Where is your froggie?". Completely ignoring me as well. I think it's a conspiracy!

Eventually I decided to give up. I sat on the floor, just staring in space trying to remember if I insulted Buddy in any way or what it is I could have done wrong resulting in the banishment of Buddy to "The Land of Forgotten Toys". Mommy took notice of my sulking and tried to explain to me that my new toy was fun and better for me. I would like to know how he is BETTER? I then overheard her telling my grandma that I EAT buddy and that my new toy would be safer. Hey! I don't eat buddy! I am just kissing him... aggressively! Just because I kiss him hard and rip his fur out with my teeth, while pulling off a few limbs- doesn’t mean I eat him! Do I make comments about how you kiss? Especially kiss me... I mean for example: what about when I am resting or playing nicely with my toys. It is not an invitation for you to swoop me up in your arms and kiss me like a maniac as I dangle upside down! Or when I am TRYING to groom your foot and out of no where you grab me and start kiss ing me as I try to get free for what feels like a lifetime! Don't get me started! So, Yeah... I swallow a piece of buddy here and there. I'm a puppy!

Well I now started trying to bond with my new toy froggie. I have to admit, don't say anything to Buddy, but I sort of like the new toy. It is soft like a mini pillow and lighter to carry! Last night I even carried him into my bed by myself, as mommy said goodnight to me. As I lay there with my head on my new toy, I decided I should at least give him a proper name. So he is going to be named "FRIEND".

Friend and I are best buds now. I even tried to hump him this morning, but I guess I am still going through 'the motions'. I sorta gave him this look after 'trying' twice but I think I need a few days. I mean, granted their names are the similar in meaning, BUT no one can replace my Buddy.

Arf! ARF!!
-Cujo

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