Oh yeah, I've been meaning to tell you...

Hey guys,

I've moved on to a real blog. Come feel my flow at http://biggiepaws.blogspot.com/

Peace, puppies!

This *is* a blue state, after all.

The other day in the park, Louise & I were playing catch w/my favorite ball, a Planet Dog rubber glow-in-the-dark ball w/the Earth's land masses glued on. I popped off the continents months ago, but it's still the best ball for throwing and fetching purposes (easy to throw, sails far, fits snugly in my mouth, difficult to puncture).

Someone asked about the ball b/c it's so perfect & I was enjoying it so much and Louise told her that it was a rubber ball that originally looked like planet Earth, but I'd forcefully eliminated each of the countries one-by-one. The woman replied, "Oh, just like the President!" They thought that was hilarious and Louise immediately named it my "dubya" ball. Huh? What's that?

Liberals are so weird.

Can't I get a moment's peace??

Apparently not. Thelma & Louise carried out their threat to send Nestlé to day care with me. Her first day was last Thursday and she was sooo nervous when Todd came to pick us up. She didn't know whether she should leave w/him or not! Louise & I told her I knew him & it was OK, but she was still nervous when she got in the back of the van. Thankfully, she didn't embarrass either of us during the day, except she barked at everything--people, dogs, birds, trucks…it was ridiculous. And she didn't like nap time too much. But in the afternoon I went over to her & we played for a while & I introduced her to my friends. She played well w/everyone and was nice to Britta and Deb, who thought she was sweet.

At least Tuesdays are allll mine (they don't have room for her in the doggie van on Tuesdays). I need a break!

I'm a consecrated dog.

The girls took me & Nestlé to what Thelma calls "the hippie church" in the neighborhood for the Blessing of the Animals last weekend. A priest threw holy water on me two years ago during a celebration of St. Francis of Assisi, so I didn't need this blessing; Nestlé was the only heathen in the house. I guess they brought me too so I wouldn't feel left out. It's not like I *needed* another blessing. Just so you understand.

This time the man in the white robe didn't throw water on us; he bent down and hugged each of us and gave us individual blessings. I liked that. But Nestlé was totally embarrassing and actually stood on his scarf w/her 2 front paws when he bent over to bless her. (I think she believed she was blessing him back.)

I was annoyed b/c they wouldn't let me get close to this turtle someone brought. It didn't bark or move or anything and I didn't understand it. Apparently it's a variety of turtle that's normally used for soup in Asia. Nestlé got close enough to sniff it, but Louise got all worried and yanked her back, saying it would have been terrible had he been saved from being someone's dinner half a world away, only to be gnawed to death by a dog in Brooklyn.

It didn't smell at all soup-y.

Now she's going to school with me?!?

I went with Thelma & Louise to Nestlé's "interview" at my doggie day care and I'm sorry to say she passed the audition. The owners brought out a couple of their dogs to interact w/Nestlé and she lunge or bark or otherwise act up, not even once. I still have a few weeks of peace because they don't yet have a permanent slot for her to fill, so she has to cool her heels at home while I go off to school twice a week. But I overheard Louise this morning saying she's thinking about maybe cutting me back to once a week and giving Nestlé my 2nd day so we can both benefit from day care. But Thelma quickly said she imagined I'd throw a fit if the driver came by the house one morning and took Nestlé and not me--and she's right. That's MY van taking me to MY day care!

When is she leaving, anyway??

Call me The Bail-peedo™

This summer the weather's been BRUTAL and I don't get to go swimming nearly as much as I'd like. Those jokers Britta and Deb at day care took a picture of me swimming laps (below) in one of the 2 pools in the yard and just look at me: my form is terrific and there's very little water placement (considering), but don't you think I'd look better on one of those lap pools you see Rowdy Gaines advertising on TV? They have a constant current and you can swim and swim for hours. At least I could. Oh, that would be great. I wouldn't even have to *go* anywhere, really; just give me a vigorous toweling off afterwards & then play a little tug-of-war. And you could put a roof on it & heat it up a little so I could swim in the winter. Yay! (Or at least get a pool with a deep end. I mean, c'mon.)

Just what this house needs: another girl.

OK, it's been about 2 months and Nestlé hasn't gone anywhere. I thought I heard Thelma and Louise talking about ADOPTING her, but that couldn't be right b/c I didn't get to vote. I must have misunderstood.

She's nice enough I guess, but this is MY house and I've broken in the futon and the throw rug in the bedroom and the bath mat and I'd rather they didn’t smell like another dog, know what I mean? I'm the one who gets picked up for day care twice a week, I'm the one Grandma W gives smoked cow bones to, and I'm the one Grandma H bought the Kiehl's Grooming Spray for (which I found a bit insulting at the time, but still--it's mine so get off it).

Work smarter, not harder…or something.

Yesterday I went to day care & griped to some of the other doggies about that pain-in-the-flank Nestlé and how exhausting it was to always keep an eye on her & make sure she didn't try to swipe any of my wubbies or sit on my futon/cushion/cool pad or stick her snub nose in my food dish, and someone told me something smart: I should stop seeing her as an adversary and instead regard her as an ally in my efforts to get more stuff from Thelma & Louise.

('Cause that *is* the master plan. The Dogs' Master Plan, of course. You all knew this; don't look so surprised. We want More Stuff. More toys, more food, more time outside, more belly rubs, etc. etc. More good stuff.)

Anyway, those two have been such suckers for the new kid & she's been playing the cute card, which is MY card. Already people are telling Thelma & Louse how cute they think Nestlé is and how she has a teddy bear face. Well, she certainly *snores* like a bear--and drinks like a camel and pees like a racehorse. Louise even bought her a little bed, which Thelma wouldn't let me tear apart. She's very spoiled--already. And Thelma's even trying to teach her how to "shake." That's MY bit!

So yesterday I snapped at her only once, when I thought she was trying to join me in my spot behind the couch. But she was just going for my stuffed white cat...which I let her chew on. (That makes 3 wubbies she's slobbered on since she got here.) And she's lounged on my cool pad several times and has seen fit to drink out of my water bowl. But I let all of that go & last night we pooled our energy & resources and tried to wear the humans down during dinner by following them everywhere--into the kitchen, into the living room, back into the kitchen, even into the bathroom (Nestlé's relentless).

But the humans held fast & didn't give into our demands for shrimp with broccoli or scallion pancakes. We did get a nice long evening walk, tho, and Nestlé even slept on the new bed, so I guess I shouldn't be too sore about her getting it.

I don't know how long she's going to stay here, but I'm going to make it work to my advantage. And I suppose it wouldn't hurt me too much to be…gulp…nice to her.

She's still here.

They took her to the park w/me this morning to try & teach her how to behave like a normal dog around other dogs. They tried combing her, shampooing her, and combing her again to make her somewhat presentable. And they gave her a big ol' heartfelt, goopy good-bye as they dropped her off at the adoption site...but they *still* couldn't get rid of Nestlé. Actually, the lady told us there is "some interest" in her, but the bottom line is she'll be staying w/us until next weekend. As soon as she walked through the door I let her know who's boss (just a few quick barks) and both Thelma & Louise gave me grief. Big deal, so what?? What if she never leaves?!!? And now the mutt is lying at Thelma's feet with her eyes closed, snoring, like it's cute or something.

Life is so unfair.

Nestlé

Yesterday we got a foster dog. No, not Skipper, but a girl named Nestlé. She's a 6-y.o. Chesapeake Bay Retriever, about 55-60 pounds. She's a few shades of brown and has white "socks" on her front paws. Louise loves dogs w/socks.

Thelma & I went over to the spot where the folks from the Brooklyn Animal Foster Network were offering animals for adoption right before they closed for the day, and Nestlé was the last one there. They were about to take her back to the shelter! I have to admit, I was glad we picked her up. It's a no-kill shelter but still, I was relieved she didn't have to go back there.

Tomorrow we'll take her by the BAFN people's set-up in front of the high school, where she'll spend the day & see if anyone wants to adopt her. If not, we'll bring her back home & she'll stay with us for another week.

Nestlé seemed so happy to be in someone's home! She walked around for a while & sniffed everything in sight, then made herself comfortable on my cool pad. I barked at her when she got too close to one of my woobies (the fluffy white cat) and Thelma and Louise both yelled at me like *I* did something wrong! But Nestlé just walked away. We figured she was pretty stressed out; she ate only a handful of kibble for dinner. She's pretty quiet & a little underweight.

We all went out for a walk last night and ran into Enzo, this itty bitty Shih Tzu (maybe 8 pounds), and her teenager. Nestlé picked Enzo up WITH HER TEETH and everyone went bananas. Nestle didn't growl or shake the dog or look like she wanted to hurt her, but Enzo screamed and Nestlé put her down. The poor thing was covered with slobber, but otherwise okay. I don't know if Nestlé was just picking up the tiny little thing like a mommy dog, or if she thought the Shih Tzu was a ball of cotton candy (this is entirely possible). But after that little episode, everything went well. (I think I'm going to look like an angel all week in comparison to this dog.)

Now we're back home & Nestlé has curled up on my cool pad--again--and gone to sleep.

Our downstairs neighbor noted that we're both named for yummy foods: Bailey's Irish Cream and Nestlé's Toll House Cookies!

P.S. Nestlé snores.