The Life and Times of Ms. Texas Belle, Mini-Dachshund Extraordinaire

THE BIG WEINER DOG RACE.............NOT!!!

January 28th 2008 10:35 pm
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I'M SO EXCITED!!!

It's RACE DAY, and we leave in less than an hour. Mummy hasn't even gotten out of her jammies yet, and I keep telling her to hurry up!

Did I say I was excited??


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Yes, those were the words I wrote last Saturday morning, the 26th of January. I had grandiose visions of the races at Ascot, and was very excited at how my day would unfold.

Hoomans. I shall never understand them. Here is a brief account of my afternoon at the races, as I described it to my FUNDAWGS in my group Dawgs Just Wanna Have Fun...

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Where in the WORLD do hoomans come from???

The Queen Mum got me all excited this morning, telling me we were going out for a car ride with Daddy Pete's Dad, and that I was going to see some handsome young hockey players and some fellow doxies.

I was still excited when we arrived at this huge building just as hoomans were singing Oh Canada . Oh Boy. Oh Dawg. There were lots of both...little boys and girls wanting to pat me, and of course I stand erect and look majestic, giving the little furless ones a thrill when I throw in a lick or two. And lots of doxies arriving, little ones, fat ones, skinny ones, curly ones, wire-haired ones...

No familiar smell yet of my beloved Thoroughbred horses...

I was getting a bit suspicious when I did not see any royalty, just commoners actually touching me...a few I know and am polite to, but...I AM the Queen, and must maintain my dignity.

I was carried down a huge flight of stairs to a closed glass wall where there was a lot of noise, horns, whistles, people yelling, and this weird sound I couldn't quite identify coming from the ice (skates scraping on ice). It was cold, and I was not amused.

Just as Mummy took me close to the glass to see what the noise was, BANG CRASH... ...two young men in different coloured clothes with sticks flying up and hitting the glass came crashing into the glass right in front of us! Even Mummy jumped and yelped, 'cuz we sure weren't expecting THAT!
Daddy Pete laughed and said something about a cross check...well, I don't know what a 'check' is, but it sure sounded CROSS!

THEN....
DP and Mummy and the rest of the dawgs and hoomans were told to go onto the ice. DP was holding me, 'cuz Mummy was supposed to go to the FAR END of this icy surface with other hoomans. She almost went flying the first step she took!!! (Mummy and ice DO NOT get along...) The hoomans at the far end waited patiently while Mummy took baby steps the whole way down the ice. I couldn't even look at her I was so embarassed...not MY Mum I was telling the other weinies.

There was this young teenager on the ice announcing to the crowd that the race was about to start, and the 'weiner dogs' were supposed to RUN the entire distance of the arena to their Mom or Dad, whoever decided to be at that end.

PPPPPULLLLLLLLLLLLLEASE!!!! The Queen RUN? with a bunch of commoners? Heck, Mummy could come to ME for heavens sake, I was not going to run all that way to see HER. I see her at home all the time! And it was much more exciting at my end with these two big zamboni machines and nice new people I had met!

So, I turned and walked out.

Not once, not twice, but THREE times. DP kept coming after me and saying go see Mummy! while he squeaked Pinky. Is he mad? I had him, I had Pinky....I had the zambonis...

And the race was over, anyway....

 
 

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