Set the Record Straight

To set the record straight: I was trying to MOVE the end table. Not chew on it.

This is what today's Dogster tip had to say:

"For one reason or another, many dog owners have abandoned rawhide as the chew of choice. But dogs have a natural desire to chew and that urge may be realized on your antique wood furniture if ignored. As the need for healthy dog chews has increased, dehydrated sweet potato chews have emerged as an excellent alternative to rawhide. Sam's Yams sweet potato "Veggie Rawhide" chews are advertised to have many health benefits including high levels of phyto-nutrients, anti-oxidants and fiber all while being low in calories. The natural hardness of the dehydrated sweet potato and their rough edges are supposed to help keep teeth clean as dogs gnaw away."

Well excuse me, but I did not WANT to chew on the antique wood furniture. It was in my way. It was right before Christmas, and the living room had been rearranged to accommodate the Christmas tree. The Antique End Table was moved to my Sun Spot!

In the afternoon, the sun came in the bay window of the boys' office. Mom even laid out blankets on the floor for me to lay on. Where? Yes Where, did Dad move his Grandmother's (may her soul rest in peace) antique end table?

Dad put the Antique End Table smack on my Sun Spot. Naturally, I tried to move the End Table over, so that I could get my Sun. Dad did not want me to get Seasonal Affective Disorder, did he?

In my moving attempts, the End Table was chewed.

Meantime, I think I would certainly have enjoyed some sweet potato chews while laying in my Sun Spot. Personal Oral Hygiene, Vitamin D, and staving off Seasonal Affective Disorder all sounds delicious to me.

Pennie is NO Mulli.

Mom just finds that Pennie is no Mulli.

I was one strange, skittish dog, but when Mom needed me, I was there. I just had a knack for knowing when Mom needed me, and despite my quirks, I pulled it all together and was there for her.

Pennie is just not like that. Pennie is a great dog, there is no denying that. But as selfish and egotistical as I, Mulligan, was; when the chips are down, Mom just still misses me and Pennie just doesn't seem to be able to give herself to Mom like I did.

Campaign Donations: Vote for Me! For Free!

The hot topic on the news all this week has been about political donations to Campaigns for the American Elections coming up in just about two weeks.

I, Mulligan, am NOT soliciting any Campaign Contributions. Nope.

I want your vote, but it is totally free!

Oh, sure some Dogster members may have "Dogster Plus." Some may just have plain "Dogster." Still, everyone is free to vote for ALL the Dogster entered.

No money need cross any paws!

A dog can be a liberal dog.

A dog can be a conservative dog.

A dog can drink tea, or toilet water, for that matter.

A dog can be a dead dog. or a live dog.

Doesn't matter! Just get out and vote for The World's Coolest!

And please vote for Me, Mulligan!

Vote for Mulligan in the World's Coolestdog pictures & breed info

and vote for Pennie!

Vote for Pennie in the World's Coolest

Teaching the humans

National Geographic is running a show named "Dog Genius."

It brings to light, in language humans can understand, what us dogs have known all along: Dogs are Highly Intelligent.

It's not "entertaining" television, but really dogs, we should be encouraging our humans to watch educational television instead of all that Reality TV.

Then perhaps us Dogs can do a show called "Human Genius." Or perhaps not.

Finally entered! Vote for Me, Mulligan!

Vote for Me, Mulligan!

Vote for Mulligan in the World's Coolestdog pictures & breed info

Snuggle Up with your favorite Canine and watch this one!

Mom watched "No Dog Left Behind" today on the Military Channel. The show details the impact of Iraqi Dogs on American Military Personnel in Iraq AND the operation to bring some of the Dogs to America!

Mom did NOT want to watch it, for she knew it would be one of those shows that made her sad, but she was of course captivated by the story and the images.

Two Dew Claws Up!

I am forced to shamelessly campaign for my sister, Pennie, in "The World's Coolest Dog Contest." Mom has thus far not submitted any entries for me.

Vote for Pennie in the World's Coolest

Mentholyptus Mulli

As I read the Rainbow Bridge/Heaven RSS Feed today; I noticed that Pennie was A Diary Pick of the Day. Not the Coveted "THE" Diary Pick but "A" Diary Pick.
Oh, those pesky adjectives.
I suppose, living in Ohio, with "The" Ohio State University; as opposed to the non-adjectived Universities, such as Ohio University and University of Cincinnati, Pennie should actually be pleased she was not "The" Diary Pick, for then she would have to pay Royalties to "The" Ohio State University for the use of "The."
(Yes, I am aware that "of" is an adjective, but it is a "lesser adjective" and one does not need to pay Royalties to "The" Ohio State University when using it.

Regardless, Pennie commented that Mom was consuming once again those Mentholyptus Cough Drops.

One time I, Mulligan, got into Mom's stash of Mentholyptus Cough Drops. Cherry Flavor.

Mom's first clue that something was amiss was a large red stain upon the carpet. No wrappers; I ate them.

Mom noticed bits of red "crystals" in the stain. She immediately found me. One whiff of my luxurious breath just about knocked Mom across the room.

Mentholyptus Mulli. Enough to stop anyone's cough for days.

Genetically Engineered Mulligan

Recent news headlines have been all about Genetically Engineered Salmon. If one would ask me, there is something fishy about these Super Salmon.

But what about Genetically engineered dogs?

A Magnificent Mulligan?

There is certainly an abundance of Mulligan Genetic Material still laying about the house. Mom even has a bag full of my hair.

Who really cares about a school of stupid bubbly fish? Can one even imagine the wonder of a Magnificent Mulligan?

Auction

Word is that the Toilet that Famous Former Beatle John Lennon used for 3 years was recently auctioned off and sold for $14,470!

First, Wow, and then, Ewww! Who would possibly desire the Porcelain Water Bowl contaminated by John Lennon?

This does bring to mind, however, that most recently, Mom and Dad acquired not one, but two, new toilets. Mom and Dad had the bathroom off of their bedroom gutted and remodeled. The toilet was replaced not only by a new "low flow" toilet, but this new toilet has a "number one" button and a "number two" button. Shortly after this monumental occurrence, the toilet in the Lad's bathroom ceased to function. Dad discovered that the "number one/number two" toilets were only available by special order, and this was a rush job, so to speak. The Lads had to be satisfied with a plain old dual-function-handled toilet.

What did Dad do with these old Toilets? He threw them away!

I, Mulligan, DRANK from BOTH of those Toilets! Just think how much money could have been raised had those Toilets been auctioned off!

For Dog's sake, would one rather have a "Porcelain Water Bowl drank from by Mulligan" or a "Toilet sat upon by John Lennon?"

Those Mulligan Porcelain Water Bowls were priceless! Really, they should have been installed at the Smithsonian.

DAFT Pupdate

Pups, I believe that Dogs Against Facebook Threat (DAFT) must actively seek membership, UNITE, AND, I propose a Call to Action.

I first proposed forming DAFT after my Mom began posting on the public forum of Facebook, some personal items about me. Oh, I did not mind so much these personal items being shared amongst the "Dogster" community, but the Facebook community at large? Where these tender, sensitive items could then be sold off to credit card scams, Amazon.com, MSNBC, or FoxNews?

It has come to my attention that a certain Terrierista's Mom posted ON FACEBOOK, pictorial evidence of this Terrierista's Redesign and Remodel of a Window Treatment. Now this Window Treatment Design will no doubt be STOLEN, COPIED, and next thing a Dog knows, WalMart and Target will be carrying this Dog's Window Treatment, but with ZERO Credit, or more importantly ROYALTIES, given to the Dog Designer!

Pictures of a certain Dogster Sibling's Bedroom Redesign was also posted on Facebook. For Dog's sake, these Siblings worked on that for days! Now it will just be stolen by one of their Mom's less honest Facebook Friends. AND the Pup's Mom's criticized the design! Obviously this Dog Duo's Mom has NO Artistic Taste or Feng Shui.

This is my DAFT Proposal pups:

Begin posting "embarrassing" pictures and moments from your family.

I'll start:

Mom cannot back out of the garage without hitting the corner of the garage door opening. Heh, Heh, ever since Mom got the mini-van, in 2004, SIX years ago, Mom has been trying to nudge that garage door opening over, just a wee bit, but that stubborn garage door opening remains firm in it's spot. The bumper on the Odyssey, on the other hand, has not remained so firm.

Course the bumper on the Odyssey barely looks "nudged" anymore, since DAD drove OVER a concrete barrier at Christmas Time. Good News: One can hardly see the "Nudge" marks from Mom. Bad News: Alright Dad, it's now August, could you finally put on a new bumper, so Mom could start her "nudge" mark tally all over again?

There, I feel better already, after Mom posted those remarks about wiping my personal privates with baby wipes, on her Facebook page weeks ago.