Mulli of the MidWest

How I, Mulligan, pawsonally, was a Global Warming Warrior

Now Dogs are being blamed for Global Warming. Or at least contributing to it. I take great offense at this. If I were alive, I would give one of my great Mulli Huffs.

I, Mulligan, felt that I was a Global Warming Warrior.

I pooped in my backyard. This created my own pawsonal "Fertile Crescent" of lush green landscape. Then Pennie came, and further created a Chemical Free Lawn that, if Mom allowed the Lads to go barefoot, they would have loved to sink their toes into the greeness of it all.

That was my first contribution to Global Warming Warrior. The 0.6 acres of the Mulligan Compound grew lush and green, contributing valuable Oxygen, yes Oxygen, NOT Carbon Monoxide or Dioxide, to the Atmosphere.

Two. Mom and Dad did not need to use ANY outside fertilizer source on the yard. The run-off from chemically-enhanced yards causes the nutrient level in creeks, then rivers, and ultimately lakes and oceans, to be off-balanced, allowing non-benificial plants to grow instead of optimal plant life.

Three. I ate a varied diet. Aluminum grill pans. Hershey's Kiss wrappers. Diaper Delights. (Oh, the memories of those moist creamy centers, each one a different surprise, like a variety box of Fine Chocolates.) Nintendo Games. Therefore my poop RE-Cycled precious minerals BACK into the soil. Yes. Someday Nations will be fighting for the Mineral Rights to the Mulligan Compound.

Four. Warmth. I, Mulligan, was a veritable Space Heater. Mom is a naturally "cold" person. Dad always had to keep the house warmer for Mom's benefit. With me around, the thermostat could be set lower at night as Mom snuggled in with me.

Five. Exercise. One never knew when I was going to go on a Mulli Rampage, doing great Mulli circles around the house. This further raised the heat level in the house.

Six. Cooling. The accumulation of my shed hair provided valuable insulation to the Mulligan Compound. This reduced temperature variations in the house, allowing the house to stay cooler despite warm temperatures outside.

Oh, my great Mulligan Ego and Brain can easily come up with a multitude of more reasons why I was a Global Warming Warrior, but I do believe that I have already made my case.

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Barked by: Kirby (Dogster Member)

October 27th 2009 at 9:00 am