September 29th 2009 2:13 pm
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Hurry! the weather is turning colder AND October is Adopt-A-Dog Month. Obviously, in America October was chosen as Adopt-A-Dog month in preparation for winter. With Cap and Trade set to add at least $1200 per family in energy bills, plus the general state of the economy, now is the time to add another Green Energy Thermal Device to each home. That of course, would be a Dog!
I am quite disappointed that Mom is not ready to begin interviewing my replacement (s) in order to save on her heating bill this winter.
This just caps off my Ultimate Disappointment that the Pending Healthcare Reform Legislation does NOT include Compression Therapy! In the 8 million pages of Healthcare Reform, surely there could be at least ONE little paragraph mandating that each family have at least ONE Dog to perform Compression Therapy, especially with the imminent H1N1 Epidemic! This truly solidifies my belief that none of the elected officials are interested in saving ANY money for the common taxpayer, as having a Dog to perform Compression Therapy adds Zero, yes Zero, dollars to the Federal Deficit.
Anyhoo, with Adopt-A-Dog Month just around the corner, I have come up with further arguments why Dogs are better than Children.
You do not have to let the Dog drive your car.
Once dogs reach adult size, usually within a year, they stop growing. No emergency trips to Macy's because it is Autumn, the weather is suddenly cold, and Middle Lad has suddenly outgrown all his pants. In fact, other than the dogs with the shortest hair (who can get by with just one or two jackets) NO clothes are needed for a dog.
Dogs don't have homework which you have to force them to do.
Dogs may "whine," but you don't have to take them to Target, the grocery store, Church, or anywhere else and LISTEN to them whine.
Dogs do not use too much toilet paper and cause it to "rain" into the kitchen below.
Oh, sure dogs aren't perfect, but we are far more perfect than any child. Go to the shelter and grab a "Green" Energy Device before it gets too cold!
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Your wisdom is appreciated!
No one could replace you, dear Mulli. Still, it will be a lot of work for Pennie to compress every member of the family at once should the denizens of the Mulligan Compound all come down with Swine Flu simultaneously. Just sayin'...
My pop says if you want to be green "don't have kids".