Mulli of the MidWest

Words of Warning!

Oh, I am sure, oh, sure that this could not be true. Can I even contemplated this horrid thought?

First off, I just don't think Mom is well, she is just not that smart. I, Mulligan, was the obvious Mental Giant of the Mulligan Compound, followed by Little Lad, whom we are certain is the next Stalin in the making. Short of stature (Stalin was only 5 foot 4 inches, Little Lad's predicted final height), giving the obvious "short man's syndrome," and possessing a keen intellect, plus Little Lad already has that same attitude of Repression that Stalin had; but without the abusive parents. Mom and Dad prefer psychological torture to beatings and deprivations.

Second off, Mom was as obsessively in beloved adoration of me, as I was of her. Yes, she loves Dad as a husband, the human she wishes to share her life. But she loved me as "Her Dog."

Anyhoo, Mom went to the Doctor this past week. She had her cholesterol and other blood work drawn and peed in a cup, complaining once again how much easier it is for men to accomplish this necessary evil. Mom was pleased that, for the first time in several years, when she stepped on the scale, the nurse murmured to her an approving "good." Mom had not lost much, but indeed had lost since her last visit, although not enough for Oldest Lad to not still label her "fat."

I do wonder why in the Human doctor's office, as well as the Vet's office, the scale must be in the middle of the high traffic area so that ALL may see the abject humiliation of the animal species, canine or human, subjected to this device. At least at the Vet's office there is a dog biscuit waiting for the Good Dogs that stand upon the scale.

Mom realized that her weight loss could only be attributed to her abject grief and mourning in her loss of me, Mulligan. Dare I to think that MOM HERSELF DID ME IN?

Oh, Fellow Dogsters, take heed. If your humans have a wedding, or worse still a High School Reunion coming up listen to Mulligan's Words of Warning! Mom has no social life whatsoever and would never go to her high school reunion.

Still, it is ever so common that as a Dreaded upcoming Major Social Event is coming up, that a Human will suddenly embark upon a Major Weight Loss Program. Watch your backs Dogs! Don't let yourselves be "Done In" just a few weeks before that Reunion in a twisted attempt by your Human to lose a few pounds before seeing "that old flame, or flamess," or the person that used to stuff them into the locker.

I am certain that Mom did not do me in. No, our love was too pure and Mom has no social life, but that doesn't mean the same for Normal Humans!