March 8th 2009 6:41 pm
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My Mom leaves me in a great state of worriedness at all times. One of her fiendish modes of manipulating the fears of the members of Mulligan Compound is simply through her choice of TV shows. One of Mom's favorite shows to watch is "Snapped." "Snapped" is a show about Women who "SNAP" and kill off their husband, lover, or other significant other. I am certain that Mom is carefully watching and learning from all these shows so she will eventually discover the penultimate way to do in the members of the Mulligan Compound. Or perhaps she is just trying to keep us "on our toes" with this ever looming threat that she now has these methods stored somewhere in her female brain. Now that the economy has smashed into the sewer, I suppose the Mulligan Compound can feel a little less worried, as any money motive to do us in has gone, along with all our investments.
If "Snapped" was not bad enough, today Mom forced me to watch "Untold Stories of the ER." In this episode, a woman comes into the ER thrashing and writhing about, in a complete state of mania. Her chief complaint is of a helicopter in her ear. Oh, I, Mulligan, knew that I must run and hide, must turn away my head, but no, I stayed fixed and watched as the Ear Doctor looked into this woman's ear and discovered a: Live June Bug!
Oh, it was hideous, one could see it buzzing and thrashing and flailing it's wings inside this poor woman's ear.
Now, I, Mulligan, am blessed with HUGE EARS. A Jumbo Jet could easily land inside one of my ear canals. A Bat could fly into my ear. An entire colony of wasps could build a nest inside my ear.
How could I be tortured so! I can not stop thinking about what hideous creatures may invade my luxurious, supple ears, and become denizens of my ear canals!
Oh dear. It just occured to me. With all the money gone, there is NO Motive, and from watching all those "Snapped" shows, I do know that motive is very important. Mom might think this the perfect time to do us in as the police would look elsewhere.
I am sleeping with my paws tight over my ears and my eyes open!
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