February 26th 2008 6:09 am
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If a = b, and b = c, and c= d, then a = d. Simple Algebra. Even Mom can get that.

OK. I am a Male. It has been shown that males are actually more turned on to baking smells than to perfumes. This simple fact has yet to make it to the twenty something crowd; but the reality is that they would be far more likely to catch a mate by going to their local grocery store than to that expensive perfume store. Head to the spice section and buy a bottle of Pure Vanilla Extract. (Not the imitation kind.) Dab some on the neck, wrists, and behind the ears. Or pick up a jar of cinnamon sugar. This can be made at home from cinnamon and sugar or bought premade. Sprinkle liberally about oneself. Head out for the evening.

Back to the fact that I am a male. And I am a Dog. I have an even more acute nose than the average male. In fact much of the security, internal and external of this great Country depends upon Dogs with their keen senses of smell. Where would the Free World be without the Drug Sniffers, Bomb Sniffers, and Trackers of the Canine Breed?

This morning Mom made Cinnamon Toast for the Middle Lad to take for lunch. First off, this is flawed in and of itself in that said Cinnamon Toast is going to be a leathery mass by the time it is actually lunch time. Regardless, the Lad has eschewed the Ketchup Sandwich after all these years and His Royal Pickiness must eat something at mid-day.

While Mom was at the kitchen table serving cereal, I, Mulligan, swiped the Cinnamon Toast from the counter.

Now, considering that: I am a Male. I am a Dog. The toast was sprinkled liberally with Cinnamon Sugar, shouldn't Mom have been pleased, complimented; even been congratulating me upon my deed instead of saying &)( $$$%*, Mulligan!