Why my mom is mean!
May 18th 2009 1:18 pm
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Want to know a sure sign you go to Tim Horton's too much? Keep reading! My mom took my cousin Justin to Tim Horton's on Saturday morning. After waiting 20 minutes they get thier turn in line. My mom orders a Iced Capp, a large coffee, a plain bagel with vegetable cream cheese and a dozen donuts. The kid is totally baffled at this point. You see, my mom thinks that they just go out on the street and grab some unsuspecting kid, throw a shirt on him and tell him to work the register. This poor kid does not know where ANYTHING is on the register. So, sure sign number one: my mom helps him by showing him where the correct buttons are. Then he goes to get the donuts, he reaches down and grabs a box made for 6 donuts and then proceeds to cram 12 donuts in it. He then turns to the other employee and says "Don't we have bigger boxes than this?" Sure sign number two: my mom says "They're right down there." And points to where they keep the bigger donut boxes. The boy behind the counter and my cousin Justin were duly impressed! Know what I want to know? If she's there that much how come I'm not getting more sausage biscuts and chicken wraps???? PEACE!
May 15th 2009 8:55 am
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OK, finally, I got to Tim Horton's to try out the Iced Capp. Let me tell ya, it's pretty good, but not as good as Dunkin Donuts. It's not as creamy, more like a slush rather than a shake, if you know what I mean. And there is very little foam on top, which was my favorite part about the Dunkin Donuts Coollatta. So, the Iced Capp gets 2 out of 4 paws. In other news, I gotta tell you guys, you are good! So are Mom and grandma. So far I have not been able to garner any details about my birthday celebration. I thought for sure one of you would slip when mom sent you your travel vouchers and iteneraries, but no! You've all done a really good job keeping it hush hush. And mom, she's the best at it! I'll ask her "So who did you invite?" She'll say "Nobody Lou" I'll ask "Will there be fireworks, a clown, pony rides?" She says "Are you crazy?? I can't afford that stuff!" She's sooo good at keeping things a suprise. I can't wait!!!! PEACE!
May 12th 2009 11:22 am
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OK, so I got mom a Mother's Day gift. I figured this close to my birthday I better keep her happy. I enlisted the help of my cousin Jeffy and together we made her a plaster cast of my paw print. On it I had Jeffy write, Mom, I "heart" you. She was touched. This bodes well for me because I want the biggest, best party you can imagine. I hope she got everybody's travel vouchers in the mail, I would hate for any of my friends to miss out on the party of the year!! I have no recent food reviews, would you like to know why?? I thought so. Mom took me to McDonald's on Saturday morning and she ordered me a sausage biscut. I said "Mom, get me a McGriddle with sausage and cheese, I've already had the biscut but I haven't reviewed the McGriddle yet." She says "Just be happy with the biscut Lou!" She is jealous of my new found career and the accolades I receive because of it, I know it. She's trying to sabotage me. But don't worry guys, I'll figure this out, the reviewing will continue!!! And then today, grandma and I went and picked mom up for lunch. What a treat for her, right?? I'm embarassed to say that when she got in the car I got a little wiggly and I kissed her, but that's beside the point. We went to McDonald's, mom got me a McChicken and we went down to the park to enjoy our lunch. Well, you can't imagine the people, dogs, bikes and skateboards that I saw. I had to let them know to stay away from the vehicle. The entire time we were there. Every so often mom would give me a bite of my sandwich, I would take it quickly, sometimes her fingers would get in my mouth, making her precious little fingers all slobbery. For god's sake woman, you kiss me all the time!!! Now you're grossed out by my slobber??!! Whatev, I'll remember that when you want a kiss. I'll be like "But my slobber grosses you out!!" And turn my little head away. So, I screamed and yelled and slobbered on Madame President's hand for about 20-30 minutes and you know what she has the nerve to say to me?? "This is SO much more relaxing than the nap I planned to take, Lou." Snotty, isn't she?? She just better come through with the birthday party, or else all my patience will be for nothing. Then she'll really be sorry!!! Gotta go, I'm worn out and my throat is scratchy. PEACE!
May 8th 2009 8:33 am
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Mother's Day?? This close to my birthday??? I'll have to give this some thought. Frankly, I am a little busy planning my birthday party, and I think she should be too. Didn't she just have a "Mother's Week" in Las Vegas?? How many days does this woman think she gets? Especially with a little guy about to turn 10 on her hands. I mean, she has to get the clown, the pony rides, a caterer, a cake, arrange airfare and accomodations for all of my friends (particularly one from PA), and I think this year I would like a moon walk. I don't think she has time to loaf around the house pretending that it's her special day, do you? AND she expects a GIFT???? Geez!! Her selfishness makes my head spin, I have to go lay down. PEACE!
May 6th 2009 8:38 am
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I stumbled onto this little gem quite by accident. We were in the car, Jeffy left his Coffee Coolatta unattended and guess who decided to give it a try?!! That's right, yours truly! The Coffee Coolatta is a blended coffee drink, they take a shot of coffee, lots of cream, mix it with ice cream and then blend it. I must say folks, it's not a mix that I would normally think of but, man, is it good!!! The ice cream gives the Coolatta the consistency of a milkshake, while the cream and coffee create a little foam on the top. A perfect treat for summertime. Or, a perfect treat for a little dog left unattended in the car. 4 out of 4 paws!!!! Mom was a little angry that I helped myself to Jeffy's 3 dollar cup of coffee but I make no apologies. If I am to be a true food critic then I must try everything, EVERYTHING!! She has a very undistinguished pallate, I don't expect her to understand. Gotta go, PEACE!
May 4th 2009 8:47 am
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Boy did I miss you guys!!! Madame President was off gallivanting in Las Vegas and doesn't even think to log on to keep me posted about my friends. At least this time she remembered to bring me something, it was a really cool keychain with my name on it, which went directly on my collar and now I'm a cool Vegas-type guy!!! The fact that mom came home instead of sending for me should be a clue to everyone that she did not win, by the way. Enough about her, guess what? When mom was gone I got sick, yes, sick. I threw up and I was quite listless, at least that's what grandma says. On Wednesday grandma told me "Momma's coming home today" and guess what? I perked right up. Maybe sometimes a little dog just misses his mom, I guess. Mom came rolling in at about 1:00 a.m. and I was a waggy tailed little guy, kisses, hugs, the works. But in other quite sad news, I logged on today to see what everybody has been up to and discovered my friend Mulligan has gone to the Bridge. Mom is kind of beside herself about this, his diary was always one of her favorites, if you haven't read it I suggest you do. Godspeed, Mulligan. I'm sure he has completely taken over at the Bridge by now. Let's all send his mom and his family some love, shall we?? PEACE!
April 24th 2009 8:46 am
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My mom told me that I'm not going to be able to get on Dogster for a week!!! A WEEK!!!!! I'm going to be completely out of the loop! Everyone will forget about me!! Then one day someone will say "Remember that one dog who always did the food reviews? Can't remember his name right now." This is unfair and unjust. She has no right, no right I tell you, to keep me from my friends! All so she can go lose my college fund in Vegas. I'll never get into an Ivy League school at the rate she's going. I don't care if she bought me a KFC Chicken Snacker 2 days ago and a Whopper Jr. yesterday, I want to be able to talk to my Dogster friends whenever I want. I may have to call the ASPCA about this, a little dog forced to give up his friends for a week, A WEEK!!! I just may not be here when she gets back, maybe I will have taken a train or a bus to PA, Sunny will take care of me, and NOT go running off to Las Vegas, leaving me all alone. With only grandma and Uncle Dave to tend to my every need. I mean, my god, there are only 2 of them, how are they going to manage??? This is just terrible. I have to go, I'm getting choked up. If I don't talk to anyone before the end of the day let me say this: I love you all, my Dogster pals, don't forget me, PLEASE!!!!! I will be back on May 4th, unless I can get my little fanny to a computer before then. And as always, PEACE!!!
April 21st 2009 1:06 pm
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As you can see, mom woke me up at lunchtime to have my picture taken. I refused to open my eyes, I'm not her trained seal!!! She promises a better picture later. PEACE
April 20th 2009 8:38 am
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Today, I love mom. They had a euchre tournament at the American Legion yesterday, which my mother runs. There is always a meal after the euchre and yesterday it was nachos. Well, guess what my mom made to go with the nachos??? CHORIZO BEANS!!!!! I have not had those since we moved out of our old house, and anyone who knows me knows I love me some chorizo beans!! As a matter of fact, when mom cut open the package to cook the chorizo I came trotting into the room. She thinks I recognize the smell. And guess what? I do! After euchre yesterday she brought me home my very own bowl of chorizo beans to enjoy over the next few days, as she will not give them to me all at once because they are a bit spicy and could lead to trouble, if you know what I mean. I think this is mom's way of softening the blow, you see, she's leaving on a jet plane this Sunday. Going back to Las Vegas. Without her baby. Maybe this time she will remember to get me a souvenier, we'll see. And poor little me, I have to stay home with grandma and Uncle Dave. So what if I'll get everything I want, be allowed to stand at the door and scream at the neighbors, take a car ride wherever I want to go, be taken through every drive-thru in town, have my little back scratched endlessly, it's not Vegas with my mom. She told me that kids aren't allowed in the casinos, know what I say? Then stay out of the casinos! My god, it's not like that's all you go to Vegas for, is it? See a show, for god's sake! Take a NASCAR thrill ride, see the Hoover Dam, get a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon!! Then I could go. Know what she told me? "Shut up Lou." Amazing how I can adore her at the beginning of my diary and resent her by the end, isn't it? Anyways, I have an idea of my own. When Miss Thang goes to Vegas I will be hopping on a train and going to PA to stay with the one I know truly loves me! I have a jar of change, do you guys think 40.00 is enough? We'll see. If not, maybe I could hop a train here and ride the rails like a real hobo!! Boxcar Louie, that's me!! PEACE
April 17th 2009 8:17 am
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Me? A diary pick? On a Friday?? I thought so. When I went out this morning I kept hearing "Louie, over here" "What designer are you wearing?" "Where's Sunny?" And the flashbulbs!! Oh my god! I thought my food reviews were finally getting the recognition they deserved and maybe I would get to be a guest judge on Iron Chef or something. When I called Mom at work to tell her to book my flight she said, "No, honey, you're a Dogster Diary Pick! And on a Friday so we get to see it right away!!! I'm so proud of you!" So, I would like to thank the powers that be at Dogster for bestowing this honor upon me. I would also like to thank Mom for making ham and cheesy potatoes for Easter. For without ham and cheesy potatoes I would not have gotten this honor. And most of all, I would like to thank my friends at Dogster for all of the congrats and well-wishes. And I would especially like to thank my sweet Sunny Lee for simply being my sweet Sunny Lee. I was so happy and proud today guess what I did? I made grandma put me in the car and cart my little fanny to Tim Horton's, where I got myself a sausage biscut and I suprised my mom at work with a coffee. See what a good boy I can be?? I can't wait to see what mom gets me to reward my generosity! OK, gotta go. PEACE!!
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