Dear Max

Dear Max,

Today is your birthday, your 6th birthday to be exact. Four short years ago I thought I'd never see you again.....I thought you were already dead at the hands of a sick, sadistic madman that we had once called "family". I missed your 2nd birthday that year and that hurt worse than I can even explain. I sat and cried for hours knowing that where you were, they didn't know, or care it was your birthday, and even if you were alive you might've been better off dead. I know what happened to you, and I'm sorry.....I am SO, SO, SO VERY sorry. There will never be anything I can do to make it up to you except be the best mommy I can be. I hope I've done that job well so far because I plan on doing it for a lot longer, that is, if you'll have me.

I'm sitting here in Pop's office, watching you you on the futon eating your birthday treat pig's ear. You're oblivious to everything around you and you're blissfully happy at this moment. I wish I could keep things this way for you, forever; but I know that life and the world have to creep back in, so I sit here watching you, with total enjoyment and praying that this moment will never end. I know that with us, you'll never be hurt again, you'll never feel pain again, you'll never feel grief, or neglect, or loneliness. You'll never suffer and you'll never want for anything. You'll never be hungry or thirsty again, you'll never be beaten or suffer anymore. You are my baby.....my baby boy and I swear I'll protect and love with with my dying breath.

Enjoy this birthday my sweet angel, enjoy this day, this weekend, and this life you have now, and feel safe in knowing that nothing bad will happen to you ever again! I love you, I love you, I love you!!!!!!!!!

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