All Day I Sit and Wait
July 8th 2009 4:31 am
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Beezer, today is the day you boarded that bus heading for the Rainbow Bridge. Today I remember laying on the floor with you watching you struggle to take a breath and your back paws swelling up! I remember how I talked to you to let you know that I knew you were going to a beautiful wonderful place where the pain would end and you would be free to run and play and be happy. I remember knowing (and still know) that where your pain was ending mine was beginning. I fell asleep with tears last night remembering our last night together and then today our last day together. My heart so torn between doing what was right for you and wanting you to stay. Why does it feel like I blinked and your time with me was over! I woke up this morning and even though I fell asleep in my bed, I woke up, in my mind, on the floor with you in the living room. I have so many different emotions running around my brain. Today marks so many things for me. Not to mention it is your G'pa's birthday! I didn't want to write to you about the sadness I feel on the day you went to the Bridge, instead I wanted to talk about all the joy you brought me while you were here. From the long walks, to the countless hours you spent "fetching" the ball, to all the places we went together. I remember how when I would cry you would lick away my tears and sit by my side never leaving for even a minute, I remember how you would talk in the morning when I would get up for work I think complaining that it was too early to be up, I remember how you would dance around the closet when it was time for your night treat. I remember how you busted through the fence at Aunt Trisha's house to come after me when we went to the store. I will always be honored that I was chosen to be your mommy and to care for you throughout your life. I will always be grateful that I was with you when your journey here ended. I will always cherish each and every minute we got to spend together. Most importantly, I will always feel safe knowing that you are my angel watching over me. I miss you with an intensity that I can't define. A one in a million animal and friend you touched my soul in a way that can never be doubled. So today on your cross anniversary, I celebrate the special bond between us that only you and I could ever understand. I love y0u and to this day and always know you were truly my once in a lifetime best friend.