WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
Dogs understand what no means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Gift Wrapping with a Puppy

1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room
floor.
2. Get tape back from puppy.
3. Remove scissors from older dog's mouth.
4. Open box.
5 Take puppy out of box.
6. Remove tape from older dog's mouth.
7. Take scissors away from puppy.
8. Put present in box.
9. Remove present from puppy's mouth.
10. Put back in box after removing puppy from box.
11. Take scissors from older dog & sit on them.
12. Remove puppy from box & put on lid.
13. Take tape away from older dog.
14. Unroll paper.
15. Take puppy OFF box.
16. Cut paper being careful not to cut puppy's foot or nose that is
getting the way as she "helps".
17. Let puppy tear paper remaining to be cut.
18 Take puppy off box.
19. Wrap paper around box.
20. Remove puppy from box & take wrapping paper from her mouth.
21. Tell older dog to hold tape so he will stop stealing it.
22. Take scissors away from puppy.
23. Take tape older dog is holding.
24. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from older dog &
sitting on them again.
25. Fend off puppy trying to steal tape & tape another spot.
26. Take bow from older dog.
27. Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy ran off with.
28. Take scissors from older dog who took them when you got up.
29. Give pen to older dog to hold so he stops licking your face.
30 . Remove puppy from present & hurriedly slap tape on to hold the
paper on.
31. Take now soggy bow from puppy & tape on since the sticky stuff no
longer sticks.
32. Take pen from older dog, address tag & affix while puppy tries to
eat pen.
33 . Grab present before puppy opens it & put away.
34. Clean up mess puppy & older dog made playing tug-of-war with roll
of wrapping paper.
35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell dogs what good helpers
they are.

Dear Santa: All I Want For Christmas

Bark the herald angels sing! Best wishes this holiday season! I was sleeping soundly (while visions of Greenies danced in my head), when my human looked up from her mug of cocoa and asked me, “So, Melody, what do you want for Christmas?” Ignoring my first instinct, which was to snarl and go back to sleep, I decided to come up with a list of ten things I would like to see under my tree this year. And so without further ado, I present to you All I Want For Christmas by yours truly, Melody Belle.



A Bigger Bed: While it is nice to sleep in the big bed with my mommy, daddy and sister Emma they tend to take up too much room. I would like to have a bigger bed (complete with soft feather bed and clean duvet) in which to stretch out and snooze.

A car: Sure walk-walks are fun, but I don’t get to where I need to be fast enough on four paws. I don’t ask for much: just a 2005 Volkswagen Beetle (chrome) with a booster seat so I can reach the pedals. And a snack bowl complete with snacks.

A Kitty Slave: Luckily for Santa, the house already comes equipped with a kitty. All he has to do is make it my slave. She should bring me toys, bone-bones, blankets and errant bugs upon my request.

DVDs: Specifically, Otis and Milo, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Lady and The Tramp, Cats and Dogs, Benji, Snow Dogs, Dogma and Monty Python’s Holy Grail. (I know there are no dogs in that one, but it’s funny and it makes me howl.)

A Gilded Crate: Don’t get me wrong, I love my crate (it’s equipped with every possible canine amenity) but I could do with something fancier to impress the other pups.

A Cat Torture Device: Otherwise known as a “squirt gun.”

Peanut Butter Flavored Water: Santa is crafty; I expect he’d know a way to work out the logistics.

Eau de Rodent Morte: Scent of dead squirrel or mouse is a classic in doggie perfume and I would be the toast of the town!

A Kitty Slave: Ok, I know I said this already but I really want this!

Adoration: Actually, my humans give me all the adoration I could ever desire, but I just want Santa to make sure it never stops!!! Kisses and squeezes are my favorite gifts!


So, if you see Santa or one of his elves, pass this list along! When my human read it she laughed and I’m afraid she thinks it was a joke. Be sure to tell him I won’t bite him again this year! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

A Dog's Christmas Promises

Christmas is for humans, and I will not ruin the surprises by opening all their presents.

Christmas light bulbs, Christmas ornaments, Christmas stockings, and tinsel from the Christmas tree are not food.

I am the alpha dog, therefore I do not need to protect my new Christmas rawhide from the omega dog by taking it outside to eat when the wind chill is -10 F.

I will not demolish the Christmas tree and drag the string of lights out into the backyard through the doggy door.

I will not dive into the Christmas tree to get the candy canes (which I will eat -- paper and all).

I will not eat my Christmas doggie treats until after they're out of the stocking!

I will not even THINK about going underneath the Christmas tree and piddling on the dining room rug.

I will not get into a fight with the bigger dog next door, making my human have to call the vet's at Christmas.

I will not get tangled up in the Christmas tree lights and pull the tree down while trying to get at a cat through the conservatory window.

I will not pee on Grandma's Christmas presents that are under her tree as soon as we enter her house.

I will not pee on the Christmas tree.

I will not steal the neighbor's Christmas light bulbs.

The bowl underneath the Christmas tree is not a dog dish. I will not drink from it. It will make me sick.

July 4, 2006

Today is 4th of July hip hip hooray lets celebrate are nation’s birthday! Sorry just a little excited today. It is going to be so much fun, and mommy is feeling a lot better so we get to go out today. Well we all dressed up festive and went to downtown Hannibal. They still have National Tom Sawyer day’s thing’s going on. Well we watched the National Tom Sawyer fence painting contest. That was sure fun, they got paint all over them. And then we looked at all neat stuff people were selling. Everyone thought we looked really cute. And had to stop and pet us are talk to mommy about us. Which she is use to it because she gets that all the time.

After we looked around we headed to the riverfront mommy deiced we should take some picture’s before it got to dark and before we had to get seat’s to watch the firework’s. Well we found some good seats, but it took forever for the show to start. Me and Mia got kind of tired while we were waiting. Mia started to fall asleep on mommy’s lap and I started to fall asleep on daddy’s lap. And shortly after the show started it was great. Mommy say’s it is the best one she has ever seen. After the show was over we headed back to the car and went home to go to sleep. That was the best 4th of July ever!

July 3, 2006

Well today we were supposed to be in a Pet Show and Parade. But mommy got sick. And could get anyone to take us. Which was ok, we were kind of disappointed but we knew mommy did it feel good and we just wanted her to get to feeling better. She felt really bad, but we told her it was ok and we would go next year. We just hope she gets to feeling better for tomorrow’s 4th of July celebration.

June 30, 2006

GUESS WHAT I WON BEST BECKY!

Well today was the day for the Tom Sawyer Day's Pet Show! It was great I won Best Becky, and Mia got Honorable Mention. She was it disappointed though because she win's thing's all the time. And she was so proud that I won something for a change. But I got a nice shiny plaque and t-shirt. And it was so much fun to see and meet all the other dogs in the contest. We did it even think we were going to win. So it was a shock when they called are name out.

After the contest we all went out to eat. And talked about the Pet Show. After that we went to are local groomer's to show her are costume's she had to work so she asked us to stop by. And after we got done there we all went home to relax. But we could go to bed early we had to stay up to watch both local news stations 10:00 news and guess what?! We all were on both of them. It was such a good day and what make’s it better is that I have never won anything before!

June 29, 2006

We are so exited tomorrow is the Pet Show! We are so nervous but exited at the same time. Mommy and daddy have are costume’s all ready. And they are getting ready to give us baths tonight so we smell good and look clean. Which I don’t like bath’s, but it is better then smelling dirty. Well got to go we have lot’s of thing’s to get ready for to be ready for tomorrow.

June 27, 2006

Sorry for not writing in awhile we have been really busy lately. Summer time can do that to you. Well I thought I would let you al l know that we are going to a pet show this Friday. Not just any pet show either it is the National Tom Sawyer Day's Pet Show! We are so exited, Mommy and daddy are taking the time this week to get are costume's ready. And mommy's friend's niece's are taking us. We are going to dress up like Becky and the girl's are dressing up as tom. We are really exited and can't wait to go. Well will write more about it later.

My Tail of Devotion for ~*Missy*~

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