February 15th 2013 11:56 am
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Its been three days now that we discovered that you were losing the battle. You are my brave beautiful boy. I love you so very much. You have taught me such loyalty and enduring love and patience. I have always promised you that I would be as strong as you if it came to this. Baby boy..mommy is not strong. I find myself weak in heart when it comes to making this decision. You have so many times fought back and survived. You whom we were told would probably not make it to five....You will be eleven in April. That is a miracle in itself and shows me how long you have fought to stay with me. How can I be so weak now? The tears will not stop and if I could trade places with you I would. That is how much I love you. You are my best friend. My protector and the love that fills my heart. I pray for a miracle...another day or year or two. I ask for peace of heart to know what is right. I will not allow you to suffer. If you continue to refuse to eat and the IVs do not help....I will let you go. Not by choice but because I have to do what is right for you. I love you my baby boy. I love you more than you will ever know. YOU are my heart. Please fight for me Rio. Please try and eat and try to stay with me if only for a few more moments in time. I do not know what I will do without you. With you by my side I have never been afraid to be alone. Lexey just left us in June...its to soon for another loss that cuts my heart so very deep. I am still not over losing Lexey...I can not lose you not now. Fight my baby boy. Mommy loves you so much.