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Barks to the future!!!

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Because you loved me, thank you, my Portos

July 16th 2007 7:15 am
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Because you loved me

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Thank you, my dearest, best, beautiful, and forever shining friend Portos, until we'll meet again.



May 23rd 2007 1:13 pm
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I've been tagged by Vincent, Missy and Sassy!

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their Diary the rules & their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to bark them a pmail that they have been tagged and to read your Diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!?

1. I was born in Asuncion, Paraguay, on January 19th 1995.

2. The first human who touched me was mom, and I was the first of us to come to life.

3. Despite my size and (now) my age, I still sleep on mom's bed (and between mom and dad!)

4. I have two GSD girlfriends, one is french (Talys), and one in Italy (Brigitte).

5. I have always been a very serious GSD, but I'm terribly naughty.

6. My favorite things: to eat and to sleep

7. I've lived in Paraguay, Brazil, France, and Italy

Off to tag

Pawnee de la Maison du Soleil


Through the years (from mom to Portos)

April 26th 2007 5:21 pm
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I can't remember when you weren't there
When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is
Can't imagine anything weve missed
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... through the years
I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted whom, I listened to before
I swear you've taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had, I've always been so glad
To be with you ... through the years
It's better everyday, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belonged
Right here with you ... through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what loves about, by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... through the years
It's better everyday, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years!

(thanks to Kenny Rogers)


How not to be a demo dog (a lecture for adult and senior- dogs dealing with puppies)

March 20th 2007 7:22 am
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Part one

The "I won't" tecnique

Very basic but powerful tecnique. If misused, may lead humans to histerical reactions, from pulling out their hair to catatonic behavior. Applies to any command humans may try to give to you


Biped: "Portos, sit" (routine voice)

Portos: "I won't" (looking at the birds in the sky)

Puppy: "I know how to sit, but why should I?" I'm not tired (wandering and jumping around)

Biped: "Portos, sit" (louder, as I were deaf)

Portos: "I won't" (taking a deep look at the car that is passing by)

Puppy: "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down..."

Biped: "Portos, sit!!!" ( very firm voice, as learned in those books humans love to read about us)

Portos: "I won't" (sniffing at nothing)

Puppy: Did the biped say "eat"? There's nothing to eat here!

Biped: "Portos, I'm getting tired, SIT!!!"

Portos: "I won't" (wrong, dear biped, "getting tired" is not a command, I don't understand if you want me to get tired or to sit)

Puppy: May I chew on your tail?

Biped: "Portos, will you please please sit down to show the puppy how to do it?"

Portos: "I won't" (wearing an idiotic look)

Puppy: I'm hungry!

Biped: Last time I'm asking you...SIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!

Portos: "I won't" (giving a mass murderer look to puppy)

Puppy: Are you going to bite me? Are you? Are you?

Biped: Ok, let's go, we'll try tomorrow

Portos: I'm tired, I need some rest, I'll sit for a while, just take that puppy away from me, thanks! (finally sitting perfectly)

As you have seen, you are dealing with a puppy and a human at the same time, so be very patient with both of them. Whether the puppy will understand almost inmediately that you "won''t", it may take several hours to humans to get to it (canine researchers have demonstrate that human brain works slower).

Always remember to give some positive reinforcement to your bipeds after these exercises, by wagging your tail and giving kisses to them AS SOON AS the exercise finishes, otherwise they may not be remembering why you are greeting them.

Good luck and have a nice "I won't" day!!!

End of part one


Today I'm 12 years old!!!!

January 19th 2007 5:12 am
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Well, I know the last time I barked on my diary was soooooo long ago, since Toby arrived home my secretary was very busy. Moreover, she decided to go back to work again (sigh!!!!), so she has been traveling a lot (without my permission), even if every time she brought treats of course.
I'm thinking about firing her, but spoke with Toby who convinced me that she only needs some new special behavior training (again).
Some days ago I found out that crying every time she is at home but not with me works great, I only cry if she IS at home, if she's not I just take my absolutely necessary naps (it's hard to be a GSD, you're always supposed to be watching for everybody!), and watch Disney Cartoon Channel (my favorite).
Yesterday mom took me to the vet for my shots (a new vet, the other one was depressing mom with comments about my back legs), and what a great surprise we had!!!! When he saw me, he said "wow, he looks great, I'd never told he's 12 years old!". I looked at mom and she had a stupid shiny big smile on her face (never understood why humans show their teeth when they are happy, aren't teeth made for showing anger???)
The vet told me my heart and lungs are fine, gave me a new med for my back legs (bleah!!!), changed my food (put me on diet again, how he dares!!!), and said I'm a very healthy boy. This is a grrrrrrrrrrrreat birthday present!!!!
So now I can say I'm JUST 12 years old, I'm a senior just in age!!!!
Toby told me that mom bought some meat for my birthday cake (I promised him to share a slice with him for the info he gave me), so no diet today.
I was that I'm I supposed to be wise?
NO!!! NEVER!!!! Naughty forever!!!! Since I'm absolutely perfect (mom tells this to me every single day), perfection must include all, and all includes
I'm a very happy pup who is having a very happy birthday!!!!!!


My new brother Toby (or "The Fairy Tale of the Rescued- Maremma)

February 10th 2006 5:32 am
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That day seemed to be a normal day. We woke up as usual at 7:00 am, dad took me to the park, then left to work. I stayed at home with mom and sis Chia, and as usual mom "dogstered" until 5:00 pm.
Dad called mom for their daily capuccino at the coffee shop and she left, leaving me with my sisters. And then it happened...
At 5:10 pm mom opened the door, ran into the kitchen and picked up some of my food. She was smelling of dog, and like a very dirty one! She looked very nervous and sad, and ran away with my food. She had just the time to tell my sisters that there was a lost dog in the park and that he looked very thirsty and hungry. After 5 minutes she called sis Irene and asked her to bring something for the water to the park. Sis Irene left, and I stayed with sis Chia. After a while she left also and I stayed alone at home. Well, you have to know that I NEVER stay alone at home, so I knew something was going on. The 4 of them came back at about 7:30 pm smelling terribly. Mom was covered by white fur and looked more relaxed. They sat in the living room and started to talk about a dog. They said the dog was starving to death and was dehydrated, that the poor thing was terribly dirty and smelly, was full of fleas and ticks, and that they had taken him to the vets for a good bath, blood tests, and shots.
Well, let me tell you, I really know my family, so I knew what was about to come. Mom and dad told me that the dog needed a home, and that may be our home could be his new home, but only after my permission. I agreed to meet him at the doggie park the next morning and we went to sleep.
Next morning mom woke up at 6 o'clock (oh, my dog!!!) and looked very anxious. At 11 am mom and dad left to the vets and after a while mom called sis Chia asking her to take me to the park.
When we arrived he was there. He wasn't anymore the smelly dog of the day before, he looked like a polar bear and was very friendly. It was the first time in my life I was meeting a dog without a name, a home, and that was so skinny! We stayed together for a while and then mom and dad took the both of us home.
It's one week now Toby is with us, and I'm still trying to get used to him. I ADORE to growl at him,but I'm just showing him who's the boss here!!! Mom says I'm jealous, but who is jealous? Me? Naw, not me!!! Mom always said I'm perfect, therefore perfection can't include jealousy. But...
1) they bought a ball, a huge bone, a toy, two bowls and a big bag of food for him (and I just have two bones, 4 bowls and a big bag of food, I don't like toys);
2) mom feeds him 3 times a day "because he needs to gain weight" (and feeds me just twice a day + the treats + the ham + the cheese + what I steal + extras);
3) mom says he is a puppy...Mom, will you please wear your glasses and take a REAL look to Toby? HE IS HUGE!!! He acts like a puppy, but I'm sure he's trying to fool you, he's too big for being a puppy!
4) mom says she has two hands, one for each one of us. Mom, may I remind you your TWO hands belong to me, just to me, they are only for me, they are my exclusive property? Just DON'T PET HIM, ok?
Conclusion: I'll have to take mom to some behavior modification classes, she's not behaving at all!!!


Human Training Part II: High Advanced Tecniques

January 31st 2006 5:07 am
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These are very useful tecniques for improving the self-confidence of humans, their characters, and for dealing with some behavior problems.

Bones and Toys Retriever Training: Lost bones? Toys stolen by other dogs? Teach your human to get them for you.
Hide your bone in an unreachable place for a human. Moan and cry desesperately while faking a search for it and making the targeted human notice you are very sad. Lay down and switch to "I'll never be happy again" look. As the biped find the bone and get it to you, switch inmediately to "total happiness" look and reward the creature. Same exercise applies to stolen toys.

Stress-tolerance exercises: Be sure your human is calm and relaxed (sleeping hours or TV hours are the best). 1) Bark histerically for no reason for about 2 minutes (if this exercise is done during TV hours never bark during commercials). 2) Stop. Wait until the human relaxes again. 3) Bark neurotically at nothing for about 4 minutes. 4) Stop. Repeat steps 1 to 4 for about 2 hours. If during this lapse of time your biped becomes unstable, nervous or anxious, reduce barking time.

Bed and couch training: Humans consider beds and couchs as their exclusive territory and may become bed or couch aggressive. Give a stop to this undesirable behavior! Human puppies are very easy to train, while adults may present several difficulties at training. Excuses as "pawprints on sheets" or "too much fur" are unacceptable. The "only the cat" excuse should be considered as absolutely incorrect, and you should consider some Behavior Modification classes.

For this advance exercise, humans must be divided in two groups:
A) Easy to train:
Jump on the bed or couch. Wait for the biped reaction to it. If the human pets you, accept it as submission act and roll on on your back (this will be erroneously considered by the human as YOUR submission and so his permission to get into his territory will be granted forever).
If the human looks very dissapointed or worse, yells at you to come down inmediately, DO IT and consider your human as part of group B.

B) Very difficult to train: Wait until your human is out for working or other. Grab (paying attention at not to chew them) some of your human personal clothes and bring them with you at the bed or couch. Put them between your front paws and lay there until the human comes back. Don't move or greet him when he/she enters the house. Don't respond at calls and don't raise your head. Let the human find you. As the biped aproaches, swicht to " I'm a defenseless little puppy, I missed you so much and here is the only part of the house where I can feel you beside me" look (you know exactly what I mean!) and wait for the human reaction. As studies demonstrate, in 99,9% of the cases it works!. The human will be deeply touched by your sadness and feel guilty for not taking you with him/her.
Repeat this exercise until the biped gets used to find you in his/her territory while coming back home, then consider the human as belonging to group A.

High Advanced: scratch yourself making 1 or 2 tons of fur spread over the bed or couch. Wait until the human cleans it. Repeat.

Have a happy training day!!!


Training humans: useful commands and tecniques

January 28th 2006 8:23 pm
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Owning and training a biped is one of the most gratifying experiences for a dog. Human mental structure is not very complicated, so few basic commands will be enought to assure you a very happy and confortable life. Try to start the training as soon as you acquire the biped to ensure quick and good responses to it (to those who have recently acquired a human, congratulations on your new biped!).
Make the human feel comfortable by making him/her believe they own you (this is a "sine qua non" condition).Be very patient and never force the human to obbey. The trick is to convince them, using repetitive tecniques, that they are not following commands but deciding by themselves to accomplish the task. I personally recommend to repeat basic exercises at least 10 times a day, while advanced should not be repeated more than twice a day.

Basic commands

Come: used to make humans move towards you. Walk away from the human. Bark loud as if you want to play. When the human aproaches, greet him by wagging your tail. (Normally used by owners to test the obedience level reached by their bipeds).

Paw: used to make humans walk beside you. Take your human for a walk. Leash him/her. Walk rapidly (don't run, running is only for agility exercises) while firmly dragging your human. As soon as the biped reaches your back legs, slow down and greet him.

Bring me: used to make humans bring to you things or food. Wait until your human calls you for a treat or toy. Lay down. Don't move or respond. Switch to "too tired" or "poor puppy" look. When the human aproaches carrying the toy or the treat, don't stand up and let the biped give it to you. Celebrate his sharp genius by giving some doggie kisses.

Advice to puppies and new owners: work a lot on the "bring me" command, humans are lazy and if not well trained, could pretend YOU to come to them.

Pet me: the easiest command. Make sure the human is looking at you. Switch to "little puppy" look.Bipeds will inmediately begin to kiss and hug you. Greet them by laying on your back (very useful for getting your belly rubbed).

Take me out: Stand up. Whine, moan or cry. As the biped aproaches, walk to the door and/or show him the leash. If he understands you want to go out, greet him by making a short dance on your 4 paws. If the command is misunderstood, use the floor as bathroom. This command has to be used under any weather condition and at any hour of the day or night, in order to train the human for a quick response. To test your human, use this command when snowing or raining, preferibly at 3 or 4 am.

Advanced exercises: Agility

Agility is essential for good human training and health.

There are mainly two good exercises for humans that will help for keeping them in good shape.

Indoor obstacle course (recommended for young owners as puppies and dogs under 4 years old): Plan carefully your humans course. Include in the course: crawling under or over chairs; crawling under a table, sliding under the bed, avoiding objects on the floor. Begin the course by stealing your human's favorite underwear or shoe; make sure the human sees you; while holding the object between your teeth, let the human aproach you. As he gets near you, run away making sure the human is following you. The course ends a) when you get tired; b) when the human gets tired; c) you get caught (in this case greet the human by giving back the object and switch inmediately to "very guilty and so sorry" look).

Sprint (100 m): while walking your human, suddenly pull the leash as if you were pulling a heavy sledge. Be sure the biped is still attached to the leash. Run at full speed not paying attention to the human complains for about 100 m. Stop and greet your human by letting him breath normally again.

I've been using these tecniques since my puppyhood. My 5 bipeds are very well trained and have won several awards at many International Championship Obedience Shows. Flo, my 46 years old human (aka "mom"), has been considered by many judges as "the perfectly well trained human", and Juan Ignacio (aka "dad") has now completed his last high advanced training level (including the "buy the car that most suits your dog" command), being ready for an International Championship.
Remember: work hard and you'll get amazing results.

For further information on human training, don't hesitate to pawmail me.


Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!

January 19th 2006 6:22 am
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Today I'm 11 years old!!!!! And I'm still a puppy (all my family say it). It was very touching when, at 12:01 am, my bro Max and my sis Chia came into mom's bedroom to greet me. They told me sis Irene had put her alarm to wake up and greet me too but didn't hear it and they don't want to wake up her, it's too late for a child.

Mom will prepare a big meat cake for my dinner, and I have had cheese and lamb for lunch.

HQ sent me a very nice mail, thanks for remembering my birthday and for the gifts!

Talking about gifts...where are my gifts, mom? I want two boxes of cookies and the sofa Santa forgot to bring for Christmas!No money, no sofa? I understand, but what about the cookies? No problem with that? Great!!!

Portos mom here:

my dear son, we all wish you a wonderful birthday, thanks for being such a great son and brother to us. Your birth has been a gift from God to our family, we all love you very much. Happy birthday, Sweetie!!!!


Park issues

January 16th 2006 5:23 am
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Well, I love the park. I go there every morning with dad, and then both mom and dad take me there in the afternoon and evening. It's great to play with my italian friends, never had problems (except one little "discussion" with a male rotweiller). But today...I wonder, why these humans just don't stay at home while dogs are having fun in their park? Why humans always want to talk and say stupid things about us?
It happened that I was playing with two dogs. A lady owned by a schnautzer arrived to the park and started to talk with mom and dad. The doggie was very friendly, so joined our group, and I approached the lady to say hello. She looked at me, told me I was very cute, pet me, and then...asked mom what was my weigth! Mom said "about 86 pounds"; the lady replied "I don't think so, he has to be around 100 or more, he's a little bit fat". FAT?????? Am I fat???? I thought. Mom looked at me and said "No, sweetie, you're not fat, but may be dieting a bit won't hurt you". Do they think I'm an idiot? Diet means less food, less treats, less extra human food, less of everything! Diet! Me on diet! Listen, mom, I won't stant it, I may become a vampire if you put me on diet! Now I'm suspecting mom is cheating with my food, my bowl looks lighter!

9 p.m.

Confirmed, mom is cheating, I'm too hungry! I have had dinner tonight and I'm still hungry! Now I'll show you what a very experienced food stealer can do! Let me see...Yummy, dad is eating some "porchetta" (roasted pork)... Let me calculate...he's eating in bed, watching the news...there is still some pork on his plate...I'll jump on the bed...done! Approach the tray...done! Distance to cover: 20 cms...angle...52 degrees...concentration of dad on the news: full. Calculating necessary speed for stealing...done! Now...action!!!Mmmmmmmm, that pork was tasty!!!!

9:02 pm

I'm not on diet anymore. Dad is starving, his dinner is gone. And I'm happy again!!!

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