Wow - Has it really been six years?????

First I want to thank all of you who sent 'gifts' or dogmails. My little man has been gone six whole years & I still miss him. He was my rock & got me through a lot of hard times.

It may have been six years, but I STILL think of him daily & still have his pix all over my NEW home.....He was my best friend & will always be my first & foremost in doggie love. At some point in your life, one exceptional friend enters & they remain with you forever....Cracker is that friend...I want to thank him for all the love & devotion he gave me for the time I was with him - without him I could not have made it through a lot of rough times in my life & for that I was always be grateful.....He is & will always remain....my best friend....

Cracker's Mom

Wow - Five Years in Heaven...

I cannot believe I've been at the bridge for five whole years. Seems like yesterday I was tagging after mom & watching her every move. Hey mom - just want you to know I'm still watching your every move & looking out for you, even if its from heaven. I will always be your guardian angel. I want you to know that I welcomed Gino & Lucy when they passed....I know you miss all of us but we're all together again just like we used to be. And you know, they're hogging my darned dog bed again! Love you & miss you mom - we will be together again someday...

From Cracker's Mom - My little peanut...I still miss you like crazy. And even though my life has changed & I've moved - I still put your pictures up all over the house...You were my very best friend in the entire world & you helped me through a LOT of tough times. I hope you're taking good care of Gino & Lucy - they left me too soon (just like you). But you were the original threesome & can now wait for me together. Hugs, kisses & special secrets to you, my little man. Miss & Love you.

Can it really be four years???????

Gosh mom, it’s hard to believe that I’ve been here at the bridge for four whole years. That’s like forever. But in my mind it was only yesterday you were sobbing, bringing me to the vet making that final decision to give me the peace I needed. You did the right thing – it was my time & I needed you to be strong even though you didn’t think you could be. I am so glad that you were there comforting me when I passed – I wouldn’t have wanted to be alone. You begged me to just pass in my sleep but then I wouldn’t have had my last moments with you which I really needed (and I think you did too). I want you to know that I’m still okay up here at the bridge – I have soooo many friends that are all just like me - Waiting for their forever companions to join them, and watching over them while we wait.

I know my being gone is still hard for you even though you try not to show it. And I know you think of me often and are still reliving my stories with friends – we sure did have a lot of good times together, didn’t we. Remember the little job you gave me when you came home from work – I always had to pick up my water dish & bring it in the house – it didn’t matter that I’d spill it all over me – it was my job & I liked doing things to please you & make you laugh. Those wonderful memories will never vanish – they’ll always be with us.

I know you’ve been going through some rough times lately, I wish I could be there to lick your tears away and make things better for you. Know that I am watching over you and am here if you need me….Love you & miss you Mom…..

From Cracker’s Mom – Ah, my little man or should I say my main man – remember you were always my main man? You still are….Even though when you left I told Gino that he had to step up to the plate and be the new main man. Peanut – he took me sooo seriously – that kitty will protect me with his life – just like you. But between you & I – you’re still my main man. So little guy – I sure do miss you. It’s hard to believe that we had to say goodbye 4 years ago – it’s still so fresh in my memory & always will be. I think of you always – cherishing all the time we had together & thankful that we had it. Know that I will always love you & that you have that extra special spot in my heart that nobody can ever replace. Miss you, my little peanut.

PS – I want to thank all our Dogster pals for the thoughtful rosettes & p-mails. The thoughtfulness and caring is amazing and I really do appreciate it. I haven’t been able to get on Dogster as much as I would like in the past year, but hopefully that will all change when I get my life back in order. Thanks for thinking of us and caring……HUGS

Three Years in Heaven

Hey Mom - Just wanted you to know that I'm still looking down on you & will be until we meet again. I know its been three long, sad years for you. It seems like yesterday I was running around stealing your *woops* chewed up shoe...But at least you have the memories on video so you can watch me anytime you miss me & I know you do....And I know you still kiss my picture every day too. That's okay - it makes me feel loved and cherished just like I did when I was with you. You gave me the best life a pooch could have & I feel fortunate to have had almost 12 years with you.

I know you're sad today but just cherish all our fun times - we sure did have a lot - I heard you this weekend telling the story of how I accidentally got on the pool cover & was floating in the middle of the pool. I wasn't worried even though I could sense you were - I knew you were trying to figure out how you were gonna jump in & save me with those heavy shoes on....You should have known that I was just hanging out trying to get my stick & that I knew you'd eventually pull me out. Its nice that you still talk about me & tell my stories keeping my memory alive.

Don't worry about me mom, I have lots of dogster friends up here with me & they are keeping me company while I wait for you. We're all happy & whole again just like when we were pups. There is no pain here - only a sense of purpose - we are guardian angels after all.

I know three years ago, it was the toughest decision you've ever had to make to give me peace - know thats what it was about - giving me peace & saving me from suffering. I was ready to go even if you weren't ready to have me leave. I love you Mom & will always be watching over you.........

*****From Cracker's Mom******Puppy - My little peanut - you'll always be my favorite, my friend, my soulmate even though these other furries seem to keep me busy, not a day goes by that I don't think of you & your antics....I'm now able to smile through my tears. You may have been gone 3 years but it seems like yesterday that you were walking our mountain trail with me with a spring in your step. I still have a gazillion pictures of you all over the house & I still stop & kiss you when I walk by.........Your ashes sit in memorial on my nightstand. I still cringe at the thought that I didn't want a 'dog' (what was wrong with me). You came into my life & made me a better person - you made me feel unconditional love - you were always there for me no matter what - licking the tears from my eyes when I was sad & making me feel special by greeting me every day with a big smile on your handsome face. I was never alone - you followed me where ever I went - the void that I felt when you left was to big to even imagine & can never be filled. You had already passed when I found Dogster, but the support I found here was overwhelming & has helped me immensely. Thank you all my dogster pals for helping me through my pain & loss. But YOU Cracker, have helped me to open my heart to others - its because of you that I adopted not one but TWO doggies into my life. They'll never be you, but I now know that I have too much love to keep to myself & it should be shared with others.

Thank you, my peanut, for showing me what unconditional love is all about & know that I am always, always thinking about you. I miss you so much............Hugs & Kisses - Mom

Two Years without Mom

Wow, its hard to believe its been two years to date since I came to the rainbow bridge. It seems like just yesterday I was following my mom around the house & receiving lots of hugs & kisses. I may be in heaven but I know my mom is still sending me kisses & guess what, Mom - I'm getting them so keep em coming. I look down and see she now has not one but two new furbabies in the house - guess it took two to make up for missing me so much. I also see it isn't working cause I know you still miss me terribly, mom. I noticed that the new yella guy has sure been sucking up to you big time - I know he's trying to weasel into my spot & you're deadset against letting him - Keep opening your heart mom, I know for sure you have enough love to give a thousand furbies. I also know that I will always be first & foremost forever in your heart.

I just wanted to let you know I'm doing okay, mom. I'm healthy & whole again & the only thing missing here is YOU. You can't see me but I can see you. Luckily I'm able to watch over you every day & night. I'm your very special guardian angel.

Light a candle for me tonight, mom - Love your Little Peanut

PS - From Cracker's Mom: My little peanut, I know its been two years & my heartache is still as fresh as it was two years ago at this time. I miss you so. There will never be another like you - you were my soulmate, my best friend. I miss you, puppy.

Tagged so many Doggone times!!

I've been tagged Millie, Dakodah "Kodah", Daisy (In Loving Memory), Kaci, Jacob "Jake", Shelbi & Bandit.........Thanks guys, I really, really enjoyed reading your random facts!!

Here are the rules of the game!

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their Diary the rules & their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to bark them a pmail that they have been tagged and to read your Diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!

Here's my random facts:

1. I once jumped in a neighbors kiddie pool & ran soaking wet through their entire house as my mom watched in shocked horror.
2. I loved to carry my dish in my mouth (I always had to have something in my mouth at all times).
3. I loved going for walks with mom - they were the best! I'd carry a stick or pinecone in my mouth when we walked too.
4. I thought that cats were just miniatures of me that purred instead of barked.
5. I loved to swim any chance I could.
6. I once attacked the mail lady (she deserved it...Really).
7. My mom was my entire world (as I know I was hers)

I am tagging the following cool ANGEL pals of mine:

1. Sammy (1995-2007) #257163
2. Teo Angel of Love #333771
3. Mac (in loving memory)#304521
4. Aero (loved & never forgotten) #172585
5. BabyHuey (in memory of..5/8/06) #362676
6. Ben (in loving memory) #388848
7. Cosmo (in loving memory) #262124

** I'm also tagging my good friend Nutmeg #318854 as a bonus!

Its Been a Very Sad Year - From Cracker's Mom

One year ago today, my best friend left me for the bridge. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him & shed a tear. I cannot put into words how much I miss him still. When he was so sick, I foolishly thought that if I sat down & typed out my thoughts, it’d help relieve the pain I was feeling. How stupid - It just made me cry even harder. I found this in my computer a few days ago – it was something I wrote before my baby went to the bridge:

Dearest Cracker

As I sit here, the decision weighs heavy on my heart at what I must do. You lay by my side panting, barely able to raise your head. I feel I am being selfish holding on, hoping that the Cracker I once knew will reappear. I know you’re in there somewhere, and it breaks my heart that you’re not able to do the things you once did. You once followed my every move – now you just follow me with your eyes as if wishing you could still traipse after me. If I thought that there was anything I could do to help you, I would do it. The one thing that will help you is the one thing I can’t bring myself to do. I keep begging you to save me from this misery and quietly go to sleep if you are in pain. Yet, every morning you still greet me with a smile & a wag of the tail. The vet told me I would know when the time was right, but I still haven’t felt it was that time. You still come to greet me – hobbling & panting. On Friday, when I left you outside for a minute, you wandered off trying to find me. When you saw me, your face lit up in a smile & you actually ran to me. HOW could I possibly end your life when something as minor as seeing me gives you the ability to move the way you haven’t in days. Every day you just lay on your bed staring at me – are you trying to remember me or are you pleading with me to help you. My heart is just breaking. I know what I must do – your quality of life is not what it should be. I’m sure you’re sad that I have to carry you outside & that every three steps you take, you have lie down & rest. You sit outside just looking around as if wishing you could run around the yard like you once did. You watch my every move & I can tell you want to follow me, but don’t have the energy. So now the time has come, my loyal friend, I must make the biggest sacrifice ever.

I’m not making this decision because I want to. I’m making it because I HAVE to. You’ve been my best friend and have been wonderful to me through the years. What I’m doing, I’m doing for YOU. As bad as it sounds, I’m repaying you for all the love and joy you’ve brought to my life by finally giving you peace. You’ve been good to me, now I must be good to you & no longer be selfish. I know in my heart once you reach the bridge you will be healthy & whole again. So the decision I make is for you my little man…..Go in peace. Be whole & healthy again…..I love you.

PS. My sweetest baby – you’ve been gone only a short year & it seems like just yesterday we were walking in the woods together. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. I still expect to see you greet me when I return home, listen to the click-click of your toenails as you follow me through the house, and see you right next me where ever I go. I know you’re not here physically, but you will always, always be in my heart. You’ve taken the biggest chunk there is to have & it will remain yours forever. I miss you so, my little man & will always love you.

Earning My Kibble – Security is #1

Way back when I was just a little guy, my mom told me that I had to start earning my kibble. She gave me two jobs. The first was that I was to carry my water dish in with me every night when she came home. Boy oh Boy, I did that diligently. I’d hear the garage door open, grab the dish (usually spilling water all over myself), sit (dish in mouth) and wait for her to come get me from my run. I thought this was a very important job, and always trotted proudly into the house with my dish in my mouth. One day I made the mistake of picking up my full water dish IN THE HOUSE. You woulda thought I’d attacked the cat there was so much hollering. I never did THAT again.

The second job she gave me was SECURITY. She said that since it was just the two of us that I needed to watch over her & protect her. She said I had bigger teeth than she did, and she really wasn’t into biting someone’s butt. I took this job VERY seriously and protected her with all my heart until the day I went to the bridge. Nobody was gonna hurt my momma or get near anything she owned. She was my world. When I would go for car rides to the store with mom, I’d protect her car like it was an armored truck. I’d sit in the front seat and watch for attackers. If anyone came near it, I’d bare my teeth & go for the window. They weren’t going to get ME or anything in that vehicle.

I guess I kind of took this job a little too seriously some days. One day the mail lady was delivering packages to our house & I decided that she shouldn’t be on our property. Mom wasn’t home – nobody should be there. I, er um, went after her and uh, um kinda, sorta tried to bite her. The only thing that stopped me was the mail she was delivering, and lets just say that the cds mom had ordered were crushed. Mom came home to a VERY nasty letter and crushed cds in the mailbox that day. She was absolutely mortified that I would do something like that. Not me, I was the perfect boy. Geez, she told me to protect her and our property. What did she expect? Me & the mail lady eventually ‘kissed and made up’. Mom devised a plan that the mail lady would leave her a note when she had packages & she would lock the kennel door the next day. When I got sick, that same mail lady was very concerned about me. She tried to give mom all kinds of support & ideas that may help me. After I went to the bridge, mom left her a letter in the mailbox saying I went to heaven, and she gave mom a really nice poem memorial to me.

Up until I got sick, I would NEVER let anyone on our property when there wasn’t anybody home. As soon as they would set foot on the pavement, I would give warning running just close enough, teeth bared and growling. I never really bit anyone. I just wanted them to think I was going to. Isn’t that what security is? They would tell mom stories about how I was protecting the house & she would say “Good, that’s his job – he’s earning his kibble”.

PS – Mom, I know I’m not there to protect you now. I’m watching out for you from heaven though. Security is still my #1 priority where you’re concerned. I’ll do anything for you that my angel wings will allow me to. I really, really miss you & I know you miss me. Just keep remembering the silly things I did & smile – I don’t want you to always cry when you think of me.

Memories of Christmas

I'm looking down from the bridge & I see mom's house all decorated for Christmas. There's even snow on the ground. I loved to play in the snow. Mom would throw snowballs to me & I would almost always catch them. When it was really cold, she used to make me put on these stupid booties & a jacket-can you imagine??? I'm a lab for goodness sake, we don't wear such silly things. I never told her, but I really did like those booties (even if they made me look stupid) when it was really cold out, my feet stayed nice & warm.

I see the Christmas tree, but know that there won't be any presents for me this year (sob). That's okay - Santa Paws visits the bridge too. I got all kinds of neat stuff just like mom used to give me. I think my mom told Santa what I would like. I used to get the best presents, lots of bones, toys & treats. I was really smart. I would go under the tree and find MY presents. Mom used to try to hide them under a bunch of others, but I always sniffed them out. Sometimes moms aren't too smart. She'd come downstairs & see the wrapping paper all over the floor & ME gnawing on my new Christmas bone. She'd just laugh at me and let me keep it (giggle).

When Christmas day arrived, I was the official present opener. Mom would get tired opening her presents, so she designated ME to open them for her. I knew it was a very important job, so I was always really careful tearing off the wrapping paper so I didn't hurt what was underneath. Last Christmas, mom video taped me opening presents. I was really shy about it..Gosh, I was the star & everyone in the room was watching me. I didn't want to disappoint them so I was extra careful and took my time.

PS - Mom, I know I can't be with you at Christmas this year. Maybe you could play my video & cherish the memories of last year. Don't worry, I may not be with you today, but you are always in my heart!

Rainbow Bridge – It’s everything they said and MORE

Well, I’ve been here at the Bridge for a little over six months now. I must say its beautiful here, although I really miss my mom. I was really hurting before I came here, but now I can run and play like I used to. I know my mom knows in her heart she did every possible thing that she could do to help me, but I can see my being gone really upsets her. I feel bad to be playing when I look down & see my mom crying thinking of me. She’s getting better……She isn’t crying every day like she used to. I see her give my picture lip kisses every night before she goes to bed, and it makes me sad that I’m not there to get them. But Mom – know that I’m feeling them up here in heaven, so keep ‘em coming (smiles).

I’ve met a lot of other pets up here at the Bridge, and we’re all just keeping each other company until our forever companions come to get us. We all do miss you so. Always know that we are watching over you, and that you are in our hearts as much as we are in yours. Thanks to Dogster, I’ve been able to make a lot more friends up here. They all want to tell their Moms & Dads “Hi & We miss you, but not to worry. It’s really a great place up here. We're all healthy & whole again. There's tons of toys to play with, never ending treats and lakes galore to swim in. Of course, it’s not the same as when we were with you. But it’ll do until we’re together again”. I’ve also made lots of other pals through Dogster that are still with their forever friends. I just want to let them know that I’ll always have their backs & will be their guardian angel no matter what crazy things they do. For some, it’s a full time job (smile). Just know that all this angel stuff is cutting into my playtime so try to cut me some slack & be good.

I thought that I would try out this diary stuff, and write about all the wonderful times I had in my life. Every now & then, I'll take a break from this guardian angel stuff & playing to leave my memoirs.

PS – Mom…….I just want to let you know that you should believe all your friends - it really was kismet. The day you brought home my ashes, I knew you’d be walking on OUR mountain trail thinking of me. I DID send you that chocolate lab because I knew you were heartbroken. I thought that maybe he could take care of you and make you not so sad. I also knew that you’d give him the best life ever like you gave me. I sent a chocolate lab instead of a yellow one because I knew that would truly freak you out. I really didn’t realize that it was just too soon. I’m just sorry that you couldn’t open your heart, but am happy that you found a good home for him. If you’d have kept him, you really wouldn’t have been tarnishing my memory.