To Know Me Is To Love Me

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Today's my birthday!

May 5th 2009 5:57 am
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Dododododododo, today's my birthday. Happy Birthday to ME!
I am fourteen. That's 14, as in 14 years old today!!!
And feeling fine! And still handsome (according to Mom).
The secret to my longevity is love sweet love, plenty of snacks, fresh ice water from the fridge, weekend romps at the beach and sleeping on the pillow in the bed with my Mom and Dad every night. I am very well LOVED. Dad promised to buy me a steak tonight.
It is the Cinco de Mayo and it's my birthday. I feel like celebrating. Will you come to my party?

 

GAME

February 9th 2009 12:20 pm
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Quiz game time! Ooh, ooh, I know, I know the answer! Pick me! I studied all night for this.

1. What color is your collar? It's leather!

2. What kind of food do you eat?
Pedigree - different flavors, but real chicken is my favorite dish

3. What are your favorite treats? Milk bones and Vanilla Wafers and pig ears

4. Do you have a Valentine or significant other?? Yes, my sweet Cocoa but she lives very, very far away... Other than that, my Mom is my love and visa versa.

5. Do you get Table Scraps? All the time. We are spoiled and Mom and Dad are suckers for the begging look we pull.

6. What is your favorite toy? I have a big, and I mean BIG laundry hamper FULL, yes full to over-flowing with my toys. They are mainly squeakers and my favorite is the last one I got or the next one Mom gives me.

7. When is your Birthday? May 5th, Cinco de Mayo. I will be 14!

8. How many times a day do you get to eat? We get a snack for breakfast and then dinner is about 4pm and then sometimes some of what the humans are eating later on.

9. Do you have a favorite color? I look very dashing in red or royal blue.

10. Do you hope all your pals put this in their diary? I sure hope so!


I have tagged:

Osita Mamachita
Kramer
Brewski
Squeek
Ellie

 

GONE!

August 8th 2008 8:40 am
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My nuts are missing! OMD, I woke up in a cage at the vet with a dull ache you know where. Someone musta' stole 'em. That's what I get fur falling asleep in a strange place! The world ain't safe, I'm telling you. I searched everywhere. They weren't where I usually keep 'em. The bag was empty!
On top of shock of this tragic discovery I then suffered supreme indignity at the hands of the cops when the officer laughed--LAUGHED, when I tried to file a police report to put out an APB for them. What's so funny? You wouldn't think it was humorous if it happened to you, Mister!
OK, so I'm a little past my prime (13 and counting) and my sex life I admit was non-existant anyway but this could take some getting used to. Boy they weren't kidding when they said, "Use it or lose it". Hey, maybe I'll run an ad in the paper in case someone finds them? Hmmm, how should I put this? "LOST. Family Jewels. Antique set. Sentimental value only. No questions asked. Big box of Milkbones is your reward for their safe return."
You see, it all started because I was having a minor medical problem. No big deal--a little piddling here and there indoors, by mistake I tell you. Normally I 'm housebroken of course but what's a few drops of pee? It mops up, you know. Mom got worried I had a urinary infection because I wee-weed on her lap and I didn't even notice I was going. Oops.
So Dad took me in for a consultation. Geez, how embarrassing. My privates weren't so private anymore. The doctor put his finger, HIS FINGER, up my... oh never mind. Anyhoo, da Doc told me it was my prostate and that's pretty common in gents my age. I'm thinking they're gonna give me some little blue pills and I'll be good to go. But NO! Next thing you know I'm groggy as heck and my days as a chick magnet are history, baby. The fat lady is singing loudly and right now I hate this song. I guess that means it's over an' I gotta face the music. Forget my dreams of stud fees and bitches...

Don't worry about the Munch. I may be handicapped--a double amputee in a way but I'll survive. I can still walk. Heck, I can run even, or swim. I can still eat; I can bark and sleep and kill a squeak toy. My Mom still loves me, at least or so she says. I'm the love of her life. The man of her dreams. The best dog in the whole wide world. Honest, she says it all the time!
Just don't give me any sh_t 'cuz grandpa or not, I can still kick your ass!

 

What do I love?

February 12th 2008 8:20 am
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FIVE THINGS I LOVE

By Munch

I love being alive! I love to run in the field and roll in the grass.

I love my immediate pack. And my extended pack, Rasta, Foxy and Elvis.
I also love the prettiest pitbull in the world, Cocoa even though I haven't seen her in a long, long time.
I still love those that have gone on to the Rainbow Bridge ahead of me.
And I love all my best pals on Dogster. (At the moment I love the little Jack Russel that lives next door. Ooh mama!)

I really love my people, especially Mom, because she understands me and she tells me everyday how handsome I am and smooches me up.

I love chicken. Anyway you cook it. It is the best taste in the world.

I love strutting my stuff for the ladies and barking at silly boy dogs to show 'em who's boss.

I LOVE brand new squeakers and stuffed animals, so I can gut them promptly.
(squeakety-squeak, squeak!)

I love going for rides in the truck, hanging out the window, sniffing the world.

I love to sleep late. Sacked out on one of my doggie beds. Don't wake me unless it's time for a walk.

Oh, wait a minute, that's more than 5 things! I got carried away because I'm a lucky dog
with lots and lots of love.

So I am tagging Cheeto, Tank, Lion Cub, Scout, Munchkie, Quentin and Mac.
and sending it back to the pal who tagged me, Titus.
Love you guys!

 

January 16th 2008 6:18 am
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Jobs that I've had:
* Security Guard/Body Guard
* Toy Tester
* Garbage Disposal
* Escort and Companion
* Psycologist
* All-star Wrestler
* Dish Washer
* Track and Field Personal Trainer

Places I've been:
* My house and my old house and the house we lived before that.
* In an airplane
* On a motorcycle
* PetSmart
* California
* All over the island of Nassau

Places I'd rather be right now:
*Cuddling with mom
* With my true love Cocoa
*Riding in the truck

 

September 20th 2007 6:08 am
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Mom and Dad are "going on vacation". Without me????!!! How can they possibly have any fun? How can they do this to me? For a whole week! I could die of loneliness or boredom. To add insult to injury, they are going back to where I'm from--LA, CA. They are going to visit my ex-girlfriend/true love, Cocoa...and I can't go. This is so unfair. I'll probably go on a hunger strike like usual and refuse to eat until Mom comes back to me. At least she always brings me lots of squeak toys and treats to insure my forgiveness. Sigh.

 

July 19th 2007 6:24 am
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I went to the vet. I got all checked out. My ears. My paws. All my sore places. The vetman gave me 2 shots. Didn't even hurt. I am so brave. He talked to mon and dad for a long time. Convinced them to put me on anti-tick meds so I won't be getting so many gross bugs sucking my blood!
(Hey, there ain't no bugs on me...there might be bugs on some of yer mugs, but there ain't no bugs on me! There might be ticks on some of yer necks but there ain't no ticks on me! There might be fleas on some of yer knees, but there ain't no flea on ME!!!!!!)
Four hundred and fifty-five smackers later I'm feeling healthy and well-loved. Mom is feeling broke but says I am so worth it. What a fun adventure.

 

Adventure Day

July 27th 2006 8:47 am
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Sigh..........
I am so bored! B-O-R-E-D. Don't even bother to wake me if I'm just going to have to go back to sleep.
Alright, I'm up. What day is it? Thursday? Oh.
That means 2 more days until Adventure Day.
I love Adventure Day. Mom doesn't go away all day and come home exhausted.
We go somewhere good. We all pile into the truck and we drive to the beach.
The beach.....sigh.
I love the beach.
Two more days until Adventure Day...
I'm going back to bed. Wake me on Saturday.

 

We're getting evicted because we are one dog too many.

July 20th 2006 8:09 am
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Well, I got a new member in my pack. He is a rescue dog. He is causing Mom and Dad to get evicted because the landlady where we live does not like dogs (how weird is that?!) and we were already 4. Now Whitey (yes, he is white--what a surprise! Not a very inventive name but Mom's trying to change it to Whiley, like the coyote)-- anyway, Whitey/Whiley was a neighborhood stray and very skinny and all mangey so his pink skin showed more than his fur and the stupid lady thinks he's disgusting and likely to spread disease. Dumb bitch. Oops, I didn't mean to call her a female dog! So it looks like we are moving again because Mom and Dad won't throw him back out on the mean streets.
They tried explaining that his mange has been treated and he's well on his way to handsome good health. (Or good health at least because this guy might never be handsome but don't tell him that!) We don't mind moving really because there are way too many ticks out here in the bush where we're at now and we keep getting erlichiosis (that's a real scary disease--just check my daughter, Cookie's diary!).
Whiley doesn't have a webpage yet because he is still a "before" picture and so Mom's holding out until she can show him off better. Whiley sure loves to eat!! I guess he didn't get to do much of that as a homeless orphan. And can that boy ever poop!!! His digestive system never worked so hard! OK, I'll stop being gross.
I am a good, benevolent, tolerent and kind leader. Just so you don't try to go for my bone. Whiley's been "fixed" anyhow so he poses no threat to The Munch. If you know dog-friendly humans with a nice yard attached to a house for rent (with air conditioning Cookie says) let us know...

 

You better not bite, you better not fight, and be a good boy- if you want a toy cuz...

December 23rd 2004 7:50 am
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Christmas is coming, Christmas is coming! There's a good smelling pine tree in the living room with lights on it like last year. That means Santa Paws is going to bring presents to good dogs and I am SUCH a GOOD DOG! Mom says so all the time. Can't wait! New toys!!! Chito (that's me) LOVES new toys! I know just what to do with the pretty tissue paper--that's right, rip it off and see what's inside! Maybe a squeaker! It's still a little early but I got a BRAND NEW bed this morning since it was too big to wrap. Chito's so happy. And soon we get turkey too. Oh boy, oh boy...
So, I never howl, I rarely growl, I try not to bark when we go to the park.
Cause Santa Paws is coming to town.

 
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