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I've released you!

November 11th 2007 3:53 pm
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My little boy, I have let you go so you can move on, but I have not let go of your love, presence and memories. It is very odd, but I feel you closer now that I've told you it's okay to leave the day of your death behind and to go on. My grief was like a dark cloud surrounding you and me and it was time for the cloud to lift and move away and for your beautiful sunshine to surround us - and it does now. I still miss you, I always will, but by releasing all that awful grief I can truly feel the hope that I will see you again. Before I used to say it but there was that little doubt in the back of my mind.

I know I was keeping you there, back on May 31, 2005. I figured out this week that you lived a total of 6758.5 days and I was just thinking about one day all the time - the day you died. But that's not where you are now, and you need to keep moving on and progressing through your new journey.

You're always here, in my heart and in our home. I feel you're finally at peace knowing that I'm okay with letting go of that day and allowing the grief to be replaced by smiles and happiness.

You will always have a candle burning and the day of your passing will be remembered with gratitude for who you were in this life and how much you mean to us.

You know I love you always and forever and nothing will ever change that. Thank you for the way you changed me, you left me a better person, Ralphie, that's the gift you gave me.


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