A Self-Guided Tour

Well summer's here now and the backyard is getting boring. Mommy walks me & Spud to work every day, it's just over a mile. It's so fun!

The other day I was in the backyard and I could smell something down the backlane... I made a quick hole in the hedge and I was off. Mommy came to find me a few minutes later and I had already eaten the neighbours' cat food. What do they think, they can leave cat food on the back step and I'm not going to smell it and eat it? They were only 5 houses away. Now Mommy has chicken wire in the hedge so I will have to find a new exit.

Mommy told me there's going to be a human baby in the house in a little while. I have lots of advice for her. I told her when she gets really big and fat, she will need to pee all the time so just do it on the floor like I did. Nobody has the heart to punish you when you're pregnant! Also, I still have my whelping box if she wants to use it. I hope if she has 5 like I did, that we can keep one. I will pick which one and think up a name for it.

What happened to my tummy?

The day before yesterday, Mommy took me to the vet to get me "fixed". I think they made a mistake though, because I feel broken. Ouch! The worst was, I had to stay there a whole day and night, without Spud. Everyone knows I don't do anything without Spud. When I woke up yesterday morning I was sick and my tummy hurt, and someone fed me strange food for breakfast and I threw up. Mommy came to pick me up and I was mad at her. I feel a little better today though. There is a funny little railroad track down my tummy. That's what getting fixed is? People are weird.

The Dog Jackpot

Hi everyone, I haven't written for awhile because I've been busy. The day before yesterday, I was doing my regular rounds of sniffing the garbage, when a delicious aroma reached my nose. Mommy had thrown out a pound of moldy cheese! Ooooohhh yummmy! One quick flip of the lid and the cheese was mine! I even licked out the wrapper. The mold was so tangy. There was some limp spinach too but I just pushed it around the kitchen floor.

It's warming up outside. I can't wait until summer when I can lie around on the picnic table and talk to the neighbour dogs. One is a Cocker Spaniel and one is a Shih-tzu/poodle cross. They're nice neighbours and I like to stand by the fence and look at them and wag my tail.

Fixing and a Fire

My puppies are almost all gone now, and my dog boobs are almost back to normal too. I heard Mommy and Daddy talking about getting me and Spud fixed. I didn't know we were broken. Sometimes Spud pulls too hard on the leash and honks because he hurt his neck. Maybe that's what they mean. But I'm not stupid enough to hurt my own neck so they don't need to fix me. And my ear infection is better now (drops! eek!) so that can't be it either.

I'm so glad it has been warmer than usual this winter. We got to go for a long walk today and we saw someone's garage on fire. The fire trucks were there. Mommy said it was rude to stare but I just wanted to see if they needed a dalmation to run behind the trucks. Mommy said the fire would be out before I got there. It's all in good time when you're a Basset.

Christmas time is coming...

Well I guess Spud spilled the beans about my puppies in his diary. Yes, it's true, I had puppies. They took up all my time for the first few days, loving them and snuggling them. But now they are six weeks old and I just wish they would go away! They try to nurse but they have sharp teeth and they get dog food now anyway, so I just get up on the couch and they can't reach. Mommy says they will have new homes just after Christmas... good! That's a good enough Christmas present for me!

Although... I think I am getting a new stuffed duck toy for Christmas. I saw it go to the basement in a box, and I heard it quack when Daddy squeezed it. I'm so excited! I pretended not to see it. I will go check it out next time they go out and forget to close the basement door. I hope that bad ole Spuddy doesn't steal it and break the squeaker and pull out the stuffing. As if we don't have enough empty toys in this house already.

One more thing I must protest about, is winter. It's been here a month now and I hate it. My poor dog boobs drag in the snow... yikes! Sometimes when Mommy opens the door for me to go outside, I just pretend that I don't have to go, but then when nobody's looking, I go in the basement and pee.... aaaaaah, it's so warm and comfortable peeing the basement carpet. Mommy is at her wits' end but I don't care. I am at my wits' end with the puppies and the snow, and they are both her fault, I'm sure. I have seen pictures of dogs here on Dogster who live where there is no snow, even at Christmas. Maybe I will write them a letter and pretend that I need rescuing. If I lived in California, I would never have to pee the carpet. I'll just wait and get that duck first.

I am fine just the way I am.

My mommy is always trying to improve me. Shampooing me, trimming my claws, CLEANING inside my EARS... sheesh! I was born stinky and with long claws, and I am meant to be that way. Somebody back me up here, please. Bassets stink. If mommy wanted a non-stinky dog she should have got a bald dog with stand-up ears.

My brother Spud is such a do-gooder. He gets in the bath by himself, wagging his tail. What a flunky. His ears are always as clean as a whistle. He hates having his claws clipped too, but he lies there shaking and lets her do it. Makes me look bad. He's lucky he barks too much and doesn't come when he's called, or I might have to call the pound and say he's stray.